A/N Thank you for coming back after all this time! This chapter started off one way but went a different road. Things needed to be cleared before I dive in to the next chapter. I didn't want to to rush things. Thank you to my lovely betas for fixing my typos and coma errors. Life savers! Thank you for the reviews. I apprciate them so so much. On to the story and please don't kill me...

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

In the End by Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory

Stunned.

That was the only world that described the way he was feeling at that moment.

Had he been completely blind? Had he been mistaken and confused the look in her eyes as innocence?

No, it couldn't be possible.

Bella wasn't like that. Was she?

She had been sixteen. Sixteen!

Granted, most girls he knew had lost their virginity at the young age of fifteen but not his Bella. It wasn't possible. Was it?

Not only that, she didn't even know who she lost her virginity to.

What did that mean?

"What do you mean you don't know?" He spat.

Bella flinched at his tone and backed away from him. She knew he wouldn't understand. She was afraid of his reaction, which was why she had been reticent to come forward with the truth. She was selfish and didn't want to lose him.

"Jesus, Bella! How can you not remember who fucked you when you were sixteen?"

His mind was reeling and he wasn't thinking about the words that were spewing from his mouth.

Who fucked you? Fucked.

Bella felt the bile rise in her throat, and her cheeks get warm.

"How stupid can you be?" He continued ranting.

"I didn't think you were that sort of girl, Bella. I thought you were different. I thought you were smarter than that."

Bella's breath quickened at the tone of his words, and the venom he was hitting her with.

"Was it everything you dreamed of, Bella? Or did you just hump the first guy that offered to do the job?"

A loud slap reverberated through the room.

That was enough.

He was stunned. She'd slapped him, hard. He brought his eyes back to meet hers. The anger that radiated from her tiny body was palpable in the air. Her chest was heaving with the effort to rein it in, her eyes blazed with a fire he'd never seen before.

"Fuck you, Edward Cullen."

His eyes widened in shock as his anger rose again.

"How dare you? How dare you judge me? You have no right, no right, Edward. Tell me, Edward. How many girls have you fucked?"

He blinked.

"Huh? How many? Have I ever asked you about your past? Demanded to know whom you've been with? You think I don't know about your escapades? You think I didn't hear what everyone was saying about you when you were first trying to ask me out?"

Bella rose slowly from her kneeling position and walked away from him.

"It's not the same, Bella. At least I knew their names," he said softly.

"Does it matter, Edward? It doesn't to me. I didn't care how many girls you'd been with. I saw who you were instead of listening to what everyone called you. You think I didn't have second thoughts after what I heard happened with Jessica Stanley?"

"We went to the same school, Edward. You think I didn't know what happened? The rumors? Did I ever interrogate you about that? No, because I trusted you. I told myself that when you were ready you would tell me your side of the story. I didn't push you or make demands."

"You don't know shit about what happened with Jessica!" Edward was now standing behind her, his fist shaking in anger.

Bella whirled around to face him.

"You're right, I don't. And whose fault is that? Hmm? I know what you tell me, but I've never pushed you to tell me anything. I trusted you. Too bad that trust is one sided."

Bella walked back into the bedroom and put on her sweater. She felt exposed in her thin t-shirt. She didn't want to feel vulnerable, especially when he called her a whore.

"How can you expect me to trust you if you don't tell me the truth, Bella?"

Edward was leaning in the doorway watching her.

"I have always been honest with you, Edward. When have I lied to you?"

"If you're so honest then why are you sneaking around behind my back with Jacob? Tell me."

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Jesus, Edward!" She threw her hands up in frustration.

"How many times do I have to reassure you? Jacob is my friend. He has been there for me through some of the worst times of my life. I've known him since I was practically a child. His father was more of a parent figure to me than my parents ever were. You can't possibly still think that there's more to us than a clean friendship. Because if you don't believe me then there's nothing more I can do.

"I don't ask you about your students, which are mostly women. I never ask you about your friends and what kind of past you've had with them. I've never asked you if you fucked them, have I? No, because I trusted you to tell me. I relied on your word. I gave you space."

"Space? Is this what this is about, Bella. You want space? Well, no one is forcing you to stay here. You're free to go whenever you want."

Bella was dumbstruck. In the span of thirty minutes he'd called her a whore, a liar and now he was kicking her out. She was facing the death of her mother and having to deal with the aftermath, and he was abandoning her. Pushing her away.

She nodded her head slowly.

"You're right."

"What?"

She took small deep breaths and walked to the closet.

"You're right, Edward. No one is forcing me to stay here."

She pulled out her suitcase and started throwing her things into it.

"Bella…that's not..."

"No. You're right, Edward. I don't have to stay with someone who doesn't trust me. Someone who takes every chance he gets to doubt me. To question the friendship of the one good man I've ever known, the one who has been nothing but my lifeline long before I even met you."

He clutched his hair in his hands. This wasn't what he wanted. He'd spoken without thinking. He'd never expected this reaction from her.

"What am I supposed to do when my girlfriend is screaming out another guy's name in her sleep? Tell me, Bella. What?"

"You're supposed to trust me. You're supposed to comfort me and be there for me. You're supposed to be patient and wait until I'm ready to tell you…" She stopped the words from leaving her lips. He didn't deserve to know. She'd been right all along.

"I do trust you, I do. I just…"

"You just didn't trust me enough."

"It just took me by surprise, your not being a virgin. You told me, Bella, you said you'd never had a boyfriend before me. Why did you lie about that?"

"I didn't lie, Edward. I never had a boyfriend before you. I'd never made myself vulnerable enough to let anyone in until I met you."

"Then why would you give yourself to someone you don't even know? Why, Bella, I don't understand? I thought you were this young, innocent girl who needed protecting, but now…"

"Is that why I was so attractive to you? You felt like the hero? You're no different that everyone else I grew up with. I don't need your pity, Edward. I don't need saving. I've taken care of myself since my father left me behind. I've made mistakes, but I've learned from them. I'm sorry but if you're looking for someone to save; you won't find that in me. I'm not your project."

Bella shut her suitcase and pulled it to the living room. Grabbing her phone off the nightstand, she sent out a text and hoped it would be answered. She needed a ride. She would think of a plan later. She would land on her feet. She always did.

"Where are you going?" He was panicking. He couldn't let her walk out and run away from him.

"I'm giving you space, Edward. You don't want me here, and I'm not staying."

"Bella, don't be stupid. Where are you going to go?"

The fire that was inside her was set ablaze by his words. Don't be stupid. How many times had her mother said those same words to her?

She gave a humorless laugh.

"Does it matter? I'm obviously too stupid to know any better."

"That's not what I meant." He shut his eyes in frustration searching for words to make things right. He was mad, shocked, but he didn't want her to go, not like this.

The opening and closing of the door alerted him to her, exiting his apartment.

He yanked it open to see her figure walking down the stairs and ran out to catch up with her.

"Bella, stop, please!"

He grabbed her arm that held her suitcase and pulled her backwards causing her to stumble. She reached out in time to break her fall with her right hand and winced in pain.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"

He bent down to pick her up, but she pulled away from him.

"I'm fine."

Just then, a red convertible Beemer pulled up in front of the apartment building. Rosalie got out from the passenger side as Emmett emerged from the driver's side of the car.

"You called Rosalie?"

"Who did you expect me to call? You have this blind hatred towards Jacob, and I wasn't about to add fuel to the fire by making him come get me. Rosalie is my best friend. Of course I called her."

"Will you be staying with her then?" His shoulders slumped in defeat.

"For now. She's only here a few more weeks, and I won't impose on her. I'll figure something out, maybe I can go stay…"

"With Jacob?" His hands fisted at his sides.

She shrugged. "I was going to say in my house. Now that Renee is…" She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. "But maybe I will stay with Jacob, I don't know."

"Of course, your precious Jacob." Edward's jaw clenched.

"At least he's never called me a stupid whore for letting myself get fucked at sixteen."

The color drained from Edward's face as the realization of his words dawned on him. That's what he'd done. He may not have hurt her physically like Renee had for all those years, but with a few words he'd injured her emotionally. He'd called her stupid. He hadn't said the words but the words he'd chosen made her sound like a whore.

He watched despondently as Bella walked towards the car and Emmett took her suitcase and placed it in the trunk. Rosalie glanced at Edward before letting Bella get in the back and climbing in. Emmett looked at his old friend and shook his head sadly.

Edward watched in slow motion as the car pulled away, taking with it the only girl he'd ever loved.

He slumped down into a chair as the words replayed in his head like a bad movie.

How can you not remember who fucked you when you were sixteen?

How stupid can you be? Was it everything you dreamed of, Bella? Or did you just hump the first guy that offered to do the job?

He'd called her a whore. He'd never spoken to her that way before. She was right; he had no right to judge her. He'd been with a lot of girls. He'd lost his virginity when he was fifteen. Was it a double standard? It was okay for him because he was a guy? Was he judging her because she was a girl? He'd put her on a pedestal as something good and pure. He'd idealized her to be something he wanted her to be.

She was his way out of the life he used to live. She'd been the first girl to give him a chance and seen him as more than a hot piece of ass. Sure it was fun to chase the girls and get what he wanted from then. Half of them were fine with it. It had been consensual. They'd wanted a fling, and they'd gotten just that.

He'd never seen her so hurt and angry.

Have I ever asked you about your past? Demanded to know whom you've been with?

She hadn't. She'd been a saint. So what if she'd been with a guy whose name she didn't know. She'd probably been drunk. Living with a mother like hers couldn't have been easy. The alcohol was always present in that household. Parties every weekend. There had been men going in and out at all times of the day.

He, on the other hand, had gone out and looked for the girls he'd been with. He'd seduced them. Half the time he'd been drunk and couldn't even remember their faces. They'd all been meaningless flings to him back then. He was the whore, not Bella.

I didn't care how many girls you'd been with. I saw who you were instead of listening to what everyone called you.

He was such a fool. Bella had been nothing but patient and understanding. She'd seen past all the bullshit and taken the time to see into the heart of him. What had he done in return? He'd taken her trust and thrown it away. He'd ripped off her angel wings and dragged her through the mud, calling her a whore.

A piercing pain shot through his chest as he recalled her walking away from him. His chest tightened and his lungs heaved as the air drained out of his body.

He couldn't lose her.

Edward didn't know how long he'd been sitting on the patio of the coffee shop below his apartment, but as he regained his balanced, he realized that the morning crowd was already out. Reluctantly he climbed the stairs to his apartment. It had only been one week that Bella had lived with him but the apartment now felt empty and lifeless without her presence.

The red convertible pulled into the driveway of the studio by the beach. It had not surprised Bella that her friend would come without questions. It was one of the reasons their friendship was so strong. There were no judgments. If they called each other asking for help, it was there, no questions asked.

The trio entered the studio in silence and Rosalie whispered something to Emmett before he retreated with Bella's suitcase into the bedroom.

Bella opened the patio door and walked down the pathway to the beach, slipping off her shoes and sinking her toes into the warm sand. It was only six in the morning but she was emotionally exhausted after her argument with Edward.

She shook her head sadly at the thought of not being able to open up to him. He was volatile and irrational at times. He let his fear and anger get the best of him, causing him to act without thinking.

She rubbed her aching wrist with her hand as her friend approached and handed her a water bottle.

They sat in comfortable silence with Rosalie sneaking glances at her best friend, biding her time until she was ready to talk.

Rosalie knew Bella only needed time to think and calm down before opening up to someone; she didn't respond well to being pushed and prodded. Years of verbal abuse from Renee had caused her to withdraw into herself and, after a few mistakes on her part, Rosalie had learned that all Bella needed was to feel in control of the situation. She would share herself willingly but not by force.

"Do you mind if I stay here until...until my mom passes away?"

Bella spoke softly.

"Not at all, Bella. Stay as long as you need."

"Thanks." Bella gave her friend a small smile of gratitude before turning back towards the ocean.

She spoke again after a pause.

"It was a mistake."

Rosalie didn't understand but waited.

"Moving in with Edward. It was a mistake. We're both still too young for that kind of commitment. He's not ready and neither was I. I just saw it as a way out of the situation I was in but now…it's unnecessary."

Rosalie nodded but remained silent.

"Why doesn't he trust me?"

"Why do you think that, Bella?"

"He told me as much today. He keeps seeing things that aren't there. Keeps questioning my friendship with Jake. It's exhausting having to reassure him that there's nothing going on between us. I mean, you don't see me throw jealous tantrums over the girls he's slept with, and I know there have been plenty. When I got into this relationship, I wiped the slate clean. No judgments of our pasts. No questions asked. It was only he and I, no one else.

"I know he has a past. That there were others before me, and I was hesitant into being involved with someone with so much more experience than me. I often feel insecure about why he wants me, but I don't question him about it because it will only drive him away. He can have anyone he wants and…"

"He chose you, Bella. He wants to be with you."

"Do you know why he chose me, Rose? It's because he thought he was rescuing a poor defenseless girl. It fed his ego and his pride, but that's not who I am. I've struggled through so much, and I've appreciated everything my friends have done for me, but I'm not a weak little girl who needs a man to protect and defend her. I've looked out for myself since I was twelve years old. I'm no different now than I was back then."

"Yes, you are, Bella. I've known you for four yeas now. You're so much different than that shy fourteen year old I met all those years ago. You've grown into a strong, confident young woman. You speak up for yourself and don't let anyone push you around. You've had a rough life, but you haven't let that define you. You have dreams, and you are pursuing them with all your might.

"You got a scholarship to one of the best schools in the East coast! How many girls can say that? Your drive and determination will get you far from the life you had, Bella."

Bella felt the tears pool in her eyes as her longtime friend spoke highly of her.

"That may be true, Rosalie, but it's not how he sees me."

"I don't mean to pry, Bella, but what happened?"

"He called me a whore."

"He what? That son of a bitch. Wait till I tell Emmett. He'll kick his ass. Hell, I'll kick his ass!"

"It's not worth it, Rose. I can't help it if that's what he thinks of me."

"But why, Bella? Why would he say that?"

"He didn't actually say the word but the things he said…that's how they made me feel. Cheap and dirty."

"Is he pushing you to do something you're not ready to do? Why would he say something like that to you?"

"It all spiraled out of control. He accused me of sleeping with Jacob and said that was the reason why I wouldn't sleep with him." Tears were now rolling down her cheeks and plopping onto her legs.

"What an idiot. Still with the whole Jacob thing! When is he going to learn?" Rosalie shook her head in disbelief.

"It's my fault."

"No it's not, Bella. There's nothing that you could have done to make him say that to you. Nothing. He needs to get his head out of his ass and see how lucky he is to have someone like you interested in a pig like him."

"Rosalie!"

"You know what I mean." She huffed in annoyance. Bella couldn't help but giggle at her friend's protectiveness.

"Why does he think you slept with Jake?"

Bella sighed.

"You know I've been looking through my mom's things back at the house. Carlisle needs to find out if I'll be left with anything. I need to find out if Renee owns the house or if it'll default to the bank. I don't even know if it's paid off or if the bank will take ownership after…I need to see if Renee has a will. I also have to look into the insurance and see how much of her medical expenses they'll pay. If they don't pay everything I'll have to get a second job to try and make a dent on the hospital bill.

"Anyway, I've been going to the house this week and Jake has been with me most of the time. It's strange being in that house alone. I know Renee was never really there, but knowing there was another body made things bearable. Now, it's all so quiet. I can't stand it."

"Why didn't Edward go with you?"

"I didn't want to bother him, I already infiltrated myself in so much of his life and I know how important his work is for him. Jake offered to go with me, so there was really no problem. My mistake was not telling Edward. I wanted to avoid a fight, but I guess it was inevitable.

"Besides, I needed Jake to help me go through one of the rooms in the house. I knew he wouldn't ask questions about it." Bella glanced at her friend to see if she understood.

"Your old room?"

"Yeah."

"You haven't been in there?"

"Not since I was sixteen. The day I moved back from Billy's I stayed in the downstairs guest room. Jake helped me move most of my things, everything except the bed. It was better; I had closer street access in case…anything happened.

"There was no way I could explain to Edward why I wouldn't go into that room. I know Renee kept things scattered throughout the house so I needed someone to look through the boxes in the closet of that room."

Rose nodded in understanding.

"One of the times we went I couldn't find Jake anywhere in the house so…I went to find him. I knocked on the door, and it opened. Jake came up to me then, and I lost it. It's like everything came crashing back. I didn't even set foot in the door but just looking in the room was enough. He touched my shoulder, and I turned to punch him. If it had been Edward, I don't know what I would have done. I know now that he wouldn't have understood."

They were quiet for a moment and Bella continued.

"The nightmares are back. I've woken up screaming the past two nights. The first night I didn't know where I was. Edward's room was unfamiliar and it took a few minutes for him to calm me down. He didn't ask questions. I wanted him to, so I could finally tell him about what happened but he didn't."

Bella shook her head sadly.

"Last night was worse than before and…in my daze I called out Jacob's name. You can imagine Edward's reaction."

"That's why he assumed you and Jake…"

"Yeah."

"Bella, you have to tell him."

"I know and I tried to tell him last night, but he let me down, Rose. The things he said."

She shut her eyes tight as his words echoed in her head.

"I told him I wasn't as innocent as he thought. That I wasn't a virgin."

"What did he say?"

"He asked who it was and when it happened. I told him I'd been sixteen and that I didn't know his name. Do you know what he said to me, Rose? Womanizing Edward Cullen? He asked how stupid I could be to not know the name of the guy who fucked me." She let out a bitter laugh.

Rosalie gasped.

"Bella! Oh my God, Bella, I'm so sorry! I don't know exactly what happened to you, Bella, but I know it didn't deserve that kind of response from him. Him of all people!"

"I just, I thought he was different. I was ready to tell him but now I'm not so sure. How could he jump to conclusions so quickly? I've never given him any reason to doubt me or think that way about me. Even after what happened with him and Jessica; I never threw that in his face or judged him. Why can't he do the same for me?"

Bella wiped her cheeks with her sweater sleeve as Rose rubbed her back in a soothing manner.

Emmett walked out to meet them with the phone in his hands.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but Bella, Edward's been calling for the past half hour. He's threatening to come over if you don't talk to him." He held the phone out for Bella to take, but Rosalie intercepted it.

"Edward Cullen, I'm warning you. Do not come to my house demanding to speak to Bella. She will call you when and if she wants to talk to you. Don't call her, don't text her. Leave her alone. After what you did today, you're lucky I don't go over there and rip your balls out through your throat."

She hung up before he could reply.

"Baby, what was that about?" Emmett asked in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Emmett, but your friend is an asshole. I don't care if he's some hotshot surfer who thinks he's God's gift to women. No one calls Bella a whore and gets away with it!"

"Rose!"

"I'm sorry, Bella, but it's the truth"

There was a loud crunching sound before Emmett turned and walked back towards the studio apartment.

"Emmett," Bella called out to him. "Emmett, where are you going?"

"To kick someone's ass."

A/N Next chapter is being written. Promise not to make you wait so long. Reviews get a teaser :) Thank you for reading!