Chapter 2: Rolling in the Deep

In the previous chapter: So, here I am, sitting in the old café we all visited so much that one summer. Esme and Carlisle are finally getting married, and she insisted that I be here for the wedding. I hadn't talked to Edward in over a year, but once I agreed to come to the wedding I knew I would be seeing him anyway. I asked him to meet me here, hoping things wouldn't be too awkward between us. There were so many things I wanted to ask… so many things I still wondered about. I don't know if things will ever rekindle with us, I just want to be happy in life. I will just continue to ride on the wheel of the world, never knowing where it will take me next, on my carnival ride through life.

I had been there for 15 minutes. I was always early. I couldn't dwindle my nerves no matter how hard I tried. Alice had to talk me into doing this in the first place. After all, I hadn't even spoken to Edward in over a year, but I knew that it would be better to get the nerves out and talk to him alone before I saw him with the rest of our friends. My legs were crossed and my foot was anxiously jiggling, lightly tapping the metal leg that held up the table. I was nervously strumming my fingernails on the table top, and was biting down on my lip, my number one nervous habit.

"They always say people never change, and you just proved to me that they are correct," that velvet voice that I knew so well said from the side of the table. I was so nervous and lost in my thought that I didn't even notice him standing there.

He looked the same, but better. God, how could he look better? A little more muscular and a little bit of scruff does Edward good.

I stood up quickly. Should I shake his hand? Give him a hug? I had no clue. Luckily, Edward pulled me into an embraced and lightly kissed my cheek. Mmmm he smelled so good.

"It's so good to see you, Edward," I said with a smile as I sat back down.

"You too, Bella," he said with his beautiful smile. "How have you been? It's been what, over a year?

A year and 4 weeks… but who was counting?

"Yeah! Um, I've been good. I just got my bachelor's in English and plan on continuing with my master's in the fall. What about you?"

Edward and I continued our casual conversation for about an hour. He told me that he would be finishing up with his undergrad in December and planned on taking over the pier in the spring. Carlisle and Esme were going to retire early and do some traveling. We exchanged stories of our college years, his in L.A. and mine in New York. We laughed about the summer we met, sharing stories and memories. We spoke of Alice and Jasper and how we both thought that he would be putting a ring on her finger soon. It honestly felt like nothing had changed between us, we were just a little older and wiser now…well, older at least.

Edward received a phone call and excused himself. I pulled out my phone and texted Alice. I knew she was wondering how everything was going.

Edward is pretty much the same. And when I say pretty… I mean PrEtTy ;0 –B

I'm sure Alice would understand what I meant by that. Edward was beyond gorgeous. He did something to me that no other man had been able to do. Whenever I was near him, it was like the rest of the world didn't exist. I had such a pull towards him, and I couldn't figure out why. I had dated a few guys in college, and yeah, they were attractive, but there was no spark. With Edward, it was like the fourth of July 24/7, and we didn't even have to kiss.

After another minute or two, he returned to the table. "I'm so sorry about that, Bella. I hate to do this, but something has come up and I've got to run. I'm sorry I've had to cut our time short. It was good to catch up though. See you tonight?" he said rather quickly, a bit frazzled.

"Um yeah! It's fine, see you tonight," I said with a smile.

He returned the smile, gave me a quick wave, and made his way out of the door. It seemed kind of weird to me that he had to leave all of a sudden, but maybe he had to go do something last minute for the rehearsal dinner tonight.

I made my way back to the hotel that all of the wedding festivities would take place. Of course the hotel was a 5-star that costs over $600 a night to stay in. But what did it matter when you were Carlisle Cullen and owned one of the oldest establishments in Santa Monica?

I finally made it up to the 23rd floor, where Alice's and my room was. She and Jasper were sitting on the couch, watching tv on the huge flat screen that was in our room.

"You're back early, Bella," Alice remarked.

"Yeah, Edward got a phone call and had to leave quickly, so I just decided to come back here," I said with a shrug.

"Ah, I'm sure he just had to do something last minute for Carlisle," Jasper said with a smile.

"I'm glad you're back early! Esme just called and wants us to go to the spa with her in about an hour. Don't you just love spas!" Alice asked excitedly.

I had never been to a spa, but it sounded fun. I hated how much Esme was already spending on us though; I was worried she was pampering us too much and not herself enough. That's how Esme was, so thoughtful and generous and never put herself first.

Esme was really like a mother to me, considering I hadn't spoken to mine in over 4 years. A type of person like Esme deserved to be a mother, but was not able to have kids. That was something I could never wrap my mind around. But, I guess it was a good thing she didn't already have kids. I think Alice and I took the place of that. Alice's mom had passed away our senior year of high school, and Esme was always there for Alice, trying to lessen the sorrow of losing her sister as best she could.

So, an hour later came, and Alice and I made our way down to the lavish spa in the hotel. There were serene waterfalls surrounding the front desk, and the whole room had stacked rock walls and soft music was playing. Esme was already there waiting for us, with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh girls, I'm so glad to see you two!" she said as she pulled us both into a warm embrace.

We were at the spa for 3 hours, getting a massage, a facial, and waxing… which hurt like hell, but Alice and Esme insisted on the bikini wax. Not sure why they were pushing it so much though, I really didn't think I would getting any action soon.

I loved having the time to catch up with Esme. We had spoken on the phone weekly, but it was just so much nicer to do it in person.

"So, Bella, tell us how it went with Edward earlier," Esme said as she sipped on her champagne while we were relaxing by the pool after our massage.

"Um, it was good. He had to leave rather suddenly, but it was good," I said with a soft smile.

"I hope it wasn't that bitch Tanya ordering him to her beck and call," Esme said while rolling her eyes.

I had never heard Esme call anyone a bitch, and I had no idea who Tanya was. "Who is Tanya?" I had to ask.

"Oh, I'm sorry honey, I figured he would have told you. Tanya is Edward's on again off again girlfriend. She's just a little spoiled brat if you ask me, but for some reason Edward can't see it," Esme said with a sigh. "I really thought he would have told you, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, I shouldn't have said anything," she said as she patted my leg.

"No, Esme, it's fine. I'm glad you told me… that way, there are no surprises later, right?" I was reassuring myself, but it really baffled me as to why Edward never brought it up earlier. Maybe he didn't want to hurt me? But I would see her tonight with Edward anyway, right?

"Who knows what is going through that boys head," Alice said with a smirk. "You will just have to look extra sexy tonight and make him fall head over heels for you again and then he will leave that floozy on her ass!"

I rolled my eyes at Alice's remark. This girl was probably drop dead gorgeous and a super model in comparison to me. I just had to stop thinking about Edward and everything we once had. That was four years ago. A lot of things change in four years and I should have never came here with the hopes of maybe rekindling something with Edward. I mean, I had an on again, off again boyfriend right now too, he was just currently off.

Jake and I had met about 2 years ago in one of my classes. He was such a gentleman, always opening the door for me and carrying my things. Chivalry was not dead in his eyes, and I was instantly attracted to him. Even though he was extremely handsome, he was still nothing in comparison to Edward, but he was a good guy and good to me, and that's the most important thing. At least I think.

We dated seriously for about a year and a half, and he started talking about marriage and it scared the living shit out of me. I was surprised at how worked up I became over the thought of becoming Jake's wife. I mean, he was about to graduate college with a degree in business, I'm sure he would find a great job and make good money; we got along great, my friends and family loved him, I loved him, but there was just something that wasn't right.

I broke up with Jake a few weeks after he started talking about marriage. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I was starting to even have panic attacks over it. I had never in my life had a panic attack, and I had started to just convince myself that I am destined to be alone. Maybe I just couldn't handle the stress of becoming someone's "Mrs.". Or maybe I just couldn't handle the stress of becoming Jake's "Mrs.".

Alice had tried to get me to start dating again, but I just didn't want to. I still spoke to Jake at least once a week, and he told me repeatedly that he would always be waiting for me. He was too good to me and I didn't deserve him. I tried to tell him to move on and look for someone that wanted to be a wife, but he refused. We have been broken up for about 6 months now and I'm still clueless as to what to do.

Part of me hoped that coming here and seeing Edward would help. Boy was I wrong. Now I'm even more confused than before, but I shouldn't be. Edward has a girlfriend now, and apparently, he has fallen for her, hard. Maybe this vacation was what I needed to see that I am ready to marry Jake. Maybe.

A/N: Okay, I posted this fic a while ago, originally for a one-shot contest, BUT… it has been on my mind lately so I thought I would continue it. It won't be super long… maybe 6 or 7 chapters… I just feel like I left it hanging and I want to finish it. I plan on finishing this and my other stories this summer as well *fingers crossed*. Anyway, please comment and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!