"Okay, let's go over what we have," I said, glancing at my son. He nodded, staring at the notepad in his small hands.
"Milk?"
"Check."
"Eggs?"
"Check."
"Chocolate chip cookies?"
"Check."
"Shampoo?"
"Check."
"Mommy's ladies stuff?"
"Check."
"Mechanical pencils?"
"Check."
"Bisquik?"
"Check."
"Universal remote?"
"Check."
"Teeth cleaner thingies?"
"Check."
"Footies?"
"Check."
"Porkchops?"
"Check."
"Okay, let's roll!"
Patrick and I jumped in my truck and drove down to the supermarket. Upon entering, we were greeted with the fake smiles of workers. We snagged a cart and began bumbling down the isles, looking exactly like what we were: a father and son who were clueless when it came to doing Bella's chores for one day.
"Dad," Patrick said.
"What?"
"I found the shampoo, but I don't know which kind to get."
I looked over at the very small section of hair-care products. We were looking for dandruff shampoo because I had a pretty bad case of it. Three brands caught my eyes.
"Head and Shoulders, Selsun Blue, or the generic supermarket brand?" I asked my son. He shrugged. Sighing, I flagged down a worker and pointed to the bottles.
"What do you suggest?"
The teenager, who had a terrible case of acne and was pretty short for a guy, mumbled out through his braces, "I'd get Head and Shoulders."
I looked at his name tag. Brett.
"Is that stuff good?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I use it a lot."
"But it's more expensive than the generic stuff..."
"Hey, I don't know dude, it's just shampoo."
"I'm on a budget,"
"Then get the generic."
"But Selsun Blue looks like it'd work well and it's two dollars more---"
"If you like it, then get it!"
"But it's two dollars---"
"Okay, dude, Head and Shoulders works fine. The generic crap is the same as Head and Shoulders, we just repackaged it. The Selsun Blue doesn't smell as good as the Head and Shoulders but works better. Which do you want?"
I glared at the bottles for a while. Brett sighed dramatically and began to walk away, but I put my hand on his shoulder and turned him around.
"But---"
"Hey, buddy, don't touch me!"
"I'm sorry, I just---"
"You're not allowed to touch the employees, man. Get outta here!" He pointed to the door. Sighing, I grasped Patrick's hand and pulled him out of the store, into the truck, and we drove home.
Two hours later, Bella got home and set her keys and stuff on the counter of the kitchen.
"Hey, I heard you got kicked out of the supermarket for assault on an employee..."
"Bella?" I fumed.
"Yeah?" she grinned.
"Shut up."
She laughed, and with one last glance, threw a bottle of Head and Shoulders at me.
"For your dandruff problems."