I breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped into the hot water of the shower. Today had been a hard day, mostly because that little German Shepherd Patrick received (and cleverly named Black because of his all-over dark coat, though Bella and I didn't want to burst his bubble and tell him that his name would be Black Black) was driving my crazy. While Patrick and Bella was at work, I got stuck taking care of him because it was my day off from the shop.

Hopefully, that little bugger wouldn't try to escape his cage like he did earlier...

I was in the shower for a good ten minutes when there was a scratching at the door. I decided not to leave the door closed so I could hear if Black was doing anything, but that turned out to be a bad idea when the large puppy hauled ass into the shower and started biting at my legs.

"Fuck, Black, stop!" I howled, slipping and sliding around in the shower, hands scrabbling on the tile for grip. Sharp little canines pricked all over my legs as Black continued his little tirade.

"Get off!"
The water shot right into my open eyes and my hands came up to cover my eyes instinctively, though I fell down in the process. I hit hard on the ground and tried pushing Black away while still covering my burning eyes.

"Jacob!" Emily called, shutting the door. Oh, shit!
"In here, but don't---Black, stop!"
"Are you okay?"
"Fine, fine!"
I did a little flip and groped for the door, but the little pup continued to gleefully nip at me, knowing that he could get away with it because he was just a little baby and that I knew that you couldn't physically teach dogs a lesson till they were at least five months old.
"Don't come down the hallway!" I shouted, pulling my slippery body towards the door.

"I have to, Jacob, Bella just called me---"
"Don't listen to her! She lied!" I shrieked desperately.

Emily laughed and continued to walk over till she pushed the door all the way open. She blinked.

Dog attacking Jacob.

Jacob naked.

"Why didn't you tell me you were stark naked?" Emily pondered.
"Get the dog off," I snapped angrily, "He's biting me like crazy."
Emily put her purse on the end table and knelt to grasp Black's now soaked body. He jumped away from her hands and ran out the door. Emily turned and spun, chasing after him as I yanked myself to my feet and ran after him. (I wished that I had grabbed a towel, but I didn't think of it at the time)
Appendages flailing, I leaped over the coffee table and threw out a hand to get Black's tail but he wiggled away and ran through Emily's legs and out the front door, which was left open in Emily's haste.

"Get him!" We shouted at each other.

I let out an exasperated grunt and dashed out the door, following the trail of water that was visible on the red, orange, and yellow leaves.
With a sheepish plea, I begged that no one was around to see a naked man chase after a puppy in broad daylight.

I heard Emily hustling after me as we chased the dog. He took an abrupt left turn and into the backyard. I followed.

Finally, he stopped suddenly and seemed to give me a puppy-ish grin. There, behind me, stood my wife, eyes wide and unblinking.

"You're early!" Emily exclaimed in a nervous, high-pitched voice.
"What the fuck is going on?" Bella demanded, staring at me, the dog, and then back at Emily.

"This better not be some fucked up werewolf-human-dog threesome," she deadpanned.

Emily and I gaped at her just as Black decided to jump at her. She fell to the ground, the wiggling little dog licking her excitedly. I threw myself on top of her to get the dog off, but I guess that was a bad idea when---

"Get off, Jacob! This looks really bad!"
Emily got down on her knees and tried pulling Black out from under me, but she only managed to push me off of Bella and on the cold ground. Leaves pricked my back uncomfortably.

"I've got him!" Emily said, holding the struggling Black in her hands and grinning. I sighed in relief and pulled Bella up with me. I brushed the leaves off her and smirked.

"Woo, that was close. See, I was in the shower and I left the door open so I could keep an eye on Black and then he jumped in the shower and was biting me and Emily came to tell me that you were coming home early and then Black got out---"
"Any more 'ands'?" Bella asked, one brow raising.
We all started laughing, but then stopped when a large, yellow bus came down the road. It stopped in front of our house and Patrick got out.

The kids' faces were plastered to the windows, their breath fogging up the glass.

"Hey, Patrick, is that your dad?"
"No!"

Bwahaha, this exact situation happened to my friend. (Not any of the dialogue, but I did come over to his house and chased after his dog outside. He was butt-naked when his little brother got off the bus!)
Thank God that the bus driver didn't see my friend streaking out in the yard. (He jumped behind the shed that he has and I sort of did a "What? Nothing's going on back behind this shed!" look. Yeah, you know the look I'm talkin' about.)
Lol. :D

-Tay