I was jittery. It was parent day at Patrick's school, and I was up next. Since Bella had so graciously bowed out to be the one to present, I was put up to the job because of two undeniably cute faces.
"And now, Patrick's daddy will be telling us what he does," Patrick's teacher announced, smiling at the other children. Patrick, who was standing by my side, tugged on the bottom of my shirt, urging me on. My mouth felt dry.
It was so typical of me to get nervous in front of a bunch of six-year-olds.
"Well," I coughed, "I'm a mechanic. I work on cars."
Patrick's eyebrows shot into his deep black hair, like he didn't believe what I had said.
"Daddy, you told me you're a were---"
I shushed him loudly, getting all of the parents' attention. My stomach dropped like lead as they all began whispering conspiratorially.
"A what, Patrick?" his teacher urged, smiling warmly at my son.
"Were---"
I slapped my hand over his mouth gently and gave the woman a cheeky smile.
"Were---kers compensation, he means."
She nodded, though albeit skeptically.
"How do you fix the cars?" a little girl in the front row asked, gazing up at me with wide eyes. Her glasses magnified her eyes, poor girl.
"With tools," I told her, "I open up the front and fix the thing that makes the car go."
Bella let out a snicker. I shot her a glare, but she just turned away, leaning against the wall, shoulders shaking.
"Ma'am, what's funny?" the teacher asked, looking at my wife. Bella narrowed her eyes as if to snap back, but I pulled her to my side and ruffled her hair.
"This is my wife. What do you do, Bella?"
Bella pondered this for a moment, before she knelt and whispered something in Patrick's ear.
"My mom's a dog catcher!" he gleefully exclaimed, smiling up at me. Bella stood up and pinched my forearm, smiling all the while.
"A dog catcher?" a boy asked.
"Yes, I catch... really big puppies," she resolved.
"Like were---" Patrick began, but I tripped him. He hit the floor, looking dazed.
"Did you just trip your own son?" the teacher demanded.
"No. He fell."
"I saw your leg," a man pointed out, "you decked him."
Bella was grinning at me now. I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Lies." I announced.
"I saw you!" he insisted.
"Sir, why were you looking at my husband's legs?" Bella wondered, "I hope your wife knows what you do to pass the time."
I guffawed at the man, whose face was red as he spluttered something to his wife.
"Next!" the teacher fumed.. Laughing, I pulled Patrick into my arms and rested my hand on the small of Bella's back as we retreated to the back of the room, in the corner.
"That went well."