*Once again, I don't own Degrassi, or else Sean and Emma would've been together forever.*

Dear Sean,

Your letter completely caught me off guard. I never would have expected it, especially since we haven't talked in over a year. I'm so happy that you're returning home safely, you can't even imagine it. I was so worried that something bad would happen to you. The boy that I grew up dating, the one that helped me look for my wallet in a trashcan, going off to war. I couldn't handle it. But Sean, we do have a lot of things to talk about. I will meet you in two weeks. See you then.

With love always, Emma

I probably debated on whether or not to send it for an hour. I knew that when I met up with Sean at The Dot, I would have to tell him about my marriage. I would have to tell him that the girl he loved for all those years was in love with someone else, or she was supposed to be. The truth is, I didn't know if I really did love Spinner or not. Spinner was so sweet when he wanted to be, but Sean was sweeter. Spinner was a great romantic type of guy, but sometimes roses aren't what a girl ants. Sean knew just what I wanted. Sean took me on my first date, gave me my first kiss, was my first everything. There would always be history between us, but would there still be chemistry? I finally worked up enough nerve to take the letter over to the post office. I couldn't risk putting it in my own mailbox, for I knew Spinner would end up seeing it.

Over the next week, there were letters upon letters between us. I didn't know if I should tell Spinner the truth, that I was talking to my childhood love again, or if I should just stop the letters and contact with Sean altogether. It was a bitter-sweet time. I decided not to tell Spinner. I didn't want to create any problems in our marriage or drama between the two men in my life. I was actually excited for Sean to come back. A certain part of me ached for him to com home. My heart longed for him. No matter what I did, little things would remind me of what we had. I would she a young girl and boy go on a date, I'd think of us. Every time I saw a gun, I thought of Sean saving me. When I bought tampons, I remember the petition he signed. When I hear someone yell shut up, I'll always think of him standing up for me in front of the whole school when I did my interpretive dance with Toby. It was then when I realized Sean was a big part of who I am, who I was, and how I turned out.

"Manny, can you meet me for lunch? We have some important stuff to discuss.." I trailed off. I needed to tell someone of my letters to Sean. He was coming in a little less than a week. Venting was always the best thing for me, that or watch cheesy soap operas, but Manny was way better than those. "Sure thing Em, half an hour sound good?" She asked, sounding puzzled for sure. "Yeah. So you there, bye." I had to hang up as Spinner walked in.

"Hey you." He smiled as he walked across the kitchen of our small, two bedroom apartment.

"Hey.." I weakly smiled back.

"Listen, I think we should talk.. I mean you haven't been acting yourself lately and I think-" I cut him off fast, nervous that he knew about the letters.

"I'm having lunch with Manny soon, so I really should get going. Bye babe, love you." I grabbed my purse and rushed out to my car.

"Ok so spill it Em." Manny greeted as soon as I showed up at our favorite lunch place. She had already ordered lemonades for both of us, she knew it was my favorite. "Manny, I think I just jeopardized me and Spin's marriage!" I said quietly. "Wait, what's been going on? Are you two fighting or something?" She was panicking. I knew all she wanted was for me to be happy. "No it's not that. I um, sort of.. Well I got a letter from Sean." I said, blushing. He still had that effect on me.

"What? Sean Cameron? No way!" She practically screamed. It was a wonder the waiter even wanted to take our order after that.

"Yeah, and I have kind of been writing him back for the past two weeks…"

"Ok, let me get this straight. Sean Cameron, the one who was your first love. The one who you broke up with like a million times, the one who went to jail, the one who joined the army?" Well, she definitely remembered him.

"Yes, that Sean. Oh yeah, he's the bets part, he's coming home and I'm going to The Dot with him." I tried to hide my excitement. I guess I didn't do a good enough job.

"You're going on a date with him? Em, you're married to Spinner!" I could tell she was aggravated, she was using hand and arm motions very well.

"It's not a date. We have unfinished business to take care of, he needs to know about me and Spin."

The conversation continued about if it was a date or not. In all honesty, I didn't care if Manny disagreed with me, I would still go meet him. It wasn't like I was planning to run away with him or anything. Manny had a tendency to misinterpret things and to overreact. I was anxious though.

"Emma, I want to ask you something, you need to tell me the truth." I could tell she was serious.

"Do you still love Sean?" She blurted it out.

"Well, I don't know.. I think I do." I whispered that last part. I felt much better when I said it, but I knew it was wrong for me to still have feeling for him, especially while I was married.

"Then go, do what you have to do. Choose whatever makes you happy. If feelings get hurt in the process, well, that's life." I knew there was a reason she was my best friend for so long.

I got back from the restaurant, dreading what Spinner might say when I walked in. "Emma, stop avoiding me!" He yelled. It wasn't an I'm-going-to-hit-you yell, just a yell that said "listen to me". I didn't feel like dealing with him, I was seeing Sean tomorrow. "I want you to know that I feel exactly the same as you do right now. I want to make it better." His eyes were pleading. I was shocked, how could he have found out? "Spin…-"

"Shh, let me talk for once. Emma I know what you want. We'll get this right, I promise. I'll make sure it all works out perfectly, just as we deserve it." How could he seem so happy with me loving someone else?

"I don't think you can.." I was at a loss of words.

"We can try as soon as you want. I know a baby will make our lives more fulfilling."

"A baby?" A strange look crossed my face, I mean, sure I wanted kids, just not now. Maybe not even with Spinner…

"Yes! I know this is what you want."

He took my hands in his and started kissing my neck. I was still appalled by what he said. He wants a baby. Great. I don't want to sleep with him again anytime soon. I stopped him before he took it too far., I didn't want to lead him on thinking that we would try tonight. There was no way. I had to get this mess figured out as soon as possible. I changed and went to bed, even though I was too excited to get any sleep. The next day, I would see Sean.