Chapter 8

She led me to her room, mainly because her brother was downstairs with his girlfriend and it would be so awkward.

"Sorry about the mess."

"Its fine, everything I have is perfectly neat , just not my room."

We sat on her bed and she got her laptop out and put some music on as we looked at clothes websites and she told me all the gossip at redhawk before I got there , and how much people spoke about me before I arrived.

"And like, all the guys were on about how hot they wanted you to be and all the plastics hated it, mainly Julia and Jessica. It was quite funny actually little cows hate competition, not that there is any."

"Oh please, don't start that rubbish, have you seen yourself? Your stunning, wish I had your figure"

We chatted about random stuff all night, I had a lot of fun not doing anything wild but just having a friend to talk to made me feel less alone. When her mum came home she cooked us dinner, reminds me of my mum, I can't wait to see her and my little bro, I must have said that like a million times. Still I have Tala, Alicia and the guys, I'll be fine.

I thanked her mum for letting me come round and hugged Alicia goodnight. The night was dark, but the stars were out and it looked beautiful, a sea of stunning blues and purples in crusted with diamonds. I got my phone out and dialled Tala's number, the cold in the air sung my fingers a bit, after a while he picked up, there was strange sounds going on in the background , sounded like a fuzzy radio.

"Hello?"

"Oh hey babe, what's erm up, yeah up, you ok?"

He was drunk, he never calls me babe, I hate it.

"Yeah everything's fine...?"

"Yeah,why you calling?"

"You told me to?"

"Err."

"Its fine I'll catch a bus and go to my friends or something"

I was actually so pissed off.

"No. Sorry. Erm come now. Want me to pick you up? Uhm on second thoughts lemme walk and get you."

He laughed down the phone, I hate it when people get ridiculously drunk , so that they can't form accurate sentences. He was the one that asked me to come over.

"Forget it, I'm near anyways, there were a few drunken men back there so I had to take a de tour, but I'll be round soon, see you in five."

I didn't wait for an answer,I knew I shouldn't really take note of what he is saying right now.

I got to his and was about to take out the spare key he gave me, in case of emergencies. But the door was open already. I hesitated before stepping in and shutting the door lightly. I could hear voices so I followed them and listened.

"Why is she coming over? Fucks sake Tal."

"Yeah, she's hot and all but seriously, you've normally chucked them by now."

The voices I recognised as none other than Kai and Ian.

"Guys lay off."

"Even so, what she don't know won't hurt her, I hear that she's hanging about with that Alicia, she aint too bad you know."

"Yeah , it's not like you actually like her, check that shiner she had the other day , I only saw it in the car park , but it looks like she fucked her foot up or something, got the looks but not the brains."

They all laughed, I was close to breaking something at this point but they didn't stop there.

"Have you had her yet?"

"Please tell me you've at least fucked her?"

"She's not bad."

What?

"Doubt it, she's so clingy. Cried her eyes out because I told her to fuck off."

I expected that, I didn't want to listen to anymore, so I walked towards the door and slammed it shut so he knew I had been there.

I'll show Tala what he's missing. it ends now.

That was last night ,after their little display I went home , I hadn't been back for two days , well except for clothes, and now my godmother was sitting there staring at me.

"I need to talk to you"

"Im busy."

"Don't avoid coming home because you don't want to see me, your mother would hate me for not even knowing where you are-"

"She hates you anyway ,do what you like I'll drop in and out of my own house when I feel like it, might not be back tonight so make yourself and home."

I stormed upstairs, had a shower and sorted out my clothes, logged onto msn and pulled up Alicia, Ryan and Sean's tabs.

Ally says : Heey

Trishaa, don't talk unless i like you .says: guess what?

Ally says : wat ?

Trishaa , don't talk unless i like you says: went to Tala's, found them talking about me, let's just say it's over. He was drunk.

Ally says: Crap, what a cunt, just blank him and his calls x.

Trishaa says: will do , im gonna be on brb for a bit , need to catch up with an old mate , speak to you tomorrow ? can I come round later on too, or you busy? I have a plan.

Ally says: Nopee , come round early and we can go starbucks , talk it all over, see you tomorrow then , I'll text you so you know when to set off x

Trishaa says: Thanks xx,.

Then I closed hers and continued talking to Ryan, Ryan is my neighbour and is a little older than myself, he works night shifts as earns loads, he lives by himself, and the occasional girlfriend. Tala's convo came up.

headache says :heey , why didn't you come over last night ?

Trishaa says: I did.

headache, says : you did?

Trishaa says: Surprised you didn't see me, what with my clinginess; you know Tala if I was in the way you coulda just said it, how long have we known each other?

Trishaa says: Maybe you wanted to play Kai at his own game, but that's fine , knowing me like you obviously do I'll just go cry about it somewhere.

Trishaa has signed out.

I hadn't really , I'd just blocked him. Not on facebook though ,I couldn't be bothered in changing all my settings so I just deleted every wall post he left.

Just when I thought I had got rid of one annoyance another popped up , I guessed it was Hiwatari , he wasn't the most subtle person I know.

lool: what's up with you?

I played dumb

Trishaa who is this?

lool: wow , Ian was right, might have the looks but the brains are lacking.

Trishaa: oh man, he must have bruised your ego well and truly then, eh?

lool: good one Steele my sides are splitting.

Trishaa: it's not hard to impress you Hiwatari.

lool:, not that i care about you but Tala didn't do anything. I never thought you were a coward, but listening in to our convo and not telling us you were there? wow...

Trishaa: listening in? , you lot were so out of it you left the door open; the whole street could hear you. Now kindly fuck off I have better people to talk to.

i am god: the pity me speech may work for Tala, but not on me.

i am god: hit a nerve have I? You didn't seriously think he was interested in you? Ahah. No one wants you, not even daddy by the sounds of it.

He told them...

Trishaa: you don't know what you're talking about,

i am god: right.

Trishaa has signed out.

I completely gave up on msn, and carried on deleting the rest of Tala's posts, arguing with Hiwatari had given people time to comment on them, I could see Alicia had attempted to get them to fuck off, but I just deleted them all regardless, then I found a recant one from none other than Hiwatari himself;

KaiH , Posted today, 22:13 comments : big surprise you running off, just like your father ?

Tala Valkov: Shut up Kai.

KaiH: looks like nobody can stand the sight of you.

Tala Valkov :Back off ,Now.

I simply deleted it again then logged off my computer completely, I crawled to the end of my bed and looked in my bag ,not enough money. I'll get Ryan to buy me some vodka and sweets. I'll call him later, can't be fucked right now .I was going mad ,I growled quietly and looked at the floor ,I had left my scissors on the floor from my art homework, I'd done this before and have the scars to prove it, calms me down , people may call me unstable, but i honestly don't care. I went into the bathroom and locked it shut not that there was anyone that would notice.

I put on a jumper afterwards and it pulled against the now sensitive skin on my arm, it stung and was damp, I ignored that though and put on my converses to go and see Ryan, taking my bag with me.

When I got to his he pulled me into his house and we walked into his kitchen.

He gave me a hug.

"I saw the stuff on facebook, don't let them get to you."

" I'm not"

We both knew that was a lie

"Oh really ? So why are you here."

"You know why, initially it was that but I guess I just wanted thing company, and you're the closest to a big brother that I have."

"Course I am, I've known you since we were both in nappies."

Ryan is 20 , 21 in a few weeks like me , our birthdays are only 5 days apart

"Just forget them come on, I'll order a Chinese and we can watch a DVD on the sofa."

"Best idea I've heard all week."

We watched a load of horror and action then a couple of comedies , I was huddled on his lap and we were laughing, his arm was leaning on my arm , and he suddenly sat up and moved me next to him.

"Why is your arm wet?" oh shit I forgot to bandage up.

"I don't know , must have spilled some water on it , lemme go clear up."

But he didn't fall for my excuse.

"Don't give me that bull , give me your arm."

He pulled up my sleeve and sighed.

"I thought you stopped that ?"

"I did"

He sighed again and got up. I thought he was ashamed of me and had left but he came back in with a first aid kit and wiped off the blood to reveal three thin but deep gashes on my arm. I couldn't look at him as he cleaned me up, I felt so stupid , letting him catch me out. He finished up and the doorbell went , we knew it was the takeout cause no one uses the bell at Ryan's , they always knock , that's how we know if it's one of us or not. He came back in the lounge and passed me my box and a fork.

We ate in silence , till it became uncomfortable and he spoke.

"Look I don't care about it , I just wish you wouldn't hurt yourself , I hate to see you hurt, if it helps come round and punch me."

I laughed quietly and that and he smiled. I hugged him and whispered a thank you.

"No problem, I'm always here never forget that."

I took out our empty boxes and washed them and the forks up.

It was getting late and I didn't want to go home , I knew Tala would check there in the morning so I asked Ry if I could crash on the sofa and he gave me the spare room. I had a set of clothes in my bag so I took it upstairs and on the way up said goodnight to him.

"See you in the morning."

"Yep, goodnight kid."

I went in the room and shut the door, there were a few books on the desk so I picked up and random one and crawled into bed, I got to about the fourth page when I fell into a deep slumber, all of the stress faded away as I drifted off.