This is a crack fic. Crack fics are supposed to be random. This fic is now developing something deadly...a plot! So in this chapter there is more randomness than ever. By the way, the scene with Nameless OC was really pointless, I will explain a bit about him after this chapter.
Disclaimer:
SL: I have created another OC to free me from this cage. Now, Nameless OC! Set me free!
OC: Sorry, SL-nee-sama, I can't do that.
SL: Why not?
OC: Evra said he'd be my friend if I didn't let you out.
SL: ...you're so lucky you're cute.
OC: *Uke face*
SL: Just do the disclaimer, as long as you're here.
OC: SL-nee-sama doesn't own The Saga of Darren Shan or any of it's characters.
Steve had just left Mr. Tall's tent and now he was on his way to find out who his roommate was. He had wanted to room with Darren but since Darren was a girl now, he/she was sharing a tent with some freaky witch named Xan.
"Yo," He said as he entered his new tent. "Oh, hey, Snakey," He grinned sarcastically when he saw the green-skinned boy already inside.
"My name is Evra, not Snakey," Evra corrected.
"Whatever. Listen, I don't share well so I have a few ground rules: don't touch my stuff and don't cross over to my side of the tent." Steve commanded. "You must stay a good few metres away from me at all times. I know I'm good looking but my heart belongs to another."
Evra narrowed his eyes at the silver-haired boy. "Oh, yeah? And who's that?"
"Darren, of course," Steve winked. "Don't pretend he doesn't talk about me all the time."
"Actually, she doesn't," Evra retorted. "Because she and I are together."
"Oh, please! Darren's standards must be higher than that." Steve spat.
"It's true!" Evra lied. "We've been together ever since she turned into a girl. We've even kissed."
"Really?" Steve asked quietly.
Evra nodded.
"I'm going out," Steve said almost inaudibly before storming out of the tent.
Oh, shit! Evra thought.
The boy with the mismatched eyes watched the other teenagers of the Cirque du Freak silently. He wished he could have friends like that. But most of the time people didn't even notice him and when they did, they'd be too freaked out by his appearance to even bother to get to know him. The fact that he had one blue eye and one green and that he had prosthetics in place of hands often put people off him.
But then, before he knew what was going on, a girl with flowing red hair and cat ears bumped into him and knocked him over.
"Hey, watch where you're going, kid!" She yelled. "Who the heck are you? I've never seen you round here before."
"S-sorry about that," He stammered. "I'm Nameless OC. Pleased to meet you."
"Hey, Daryl! I just saw a guy with hooks for hands get run over by a bus." Xan announced. (A/N Totally irrelevant, but I thought I'd throw this in for a certain RV hater I know)
"Really? Cool." Daryl replied. "So how did things go with you and Xina?"
"The spell wore off and now I hate her again," Xan replied nonchalantly.
"Oh."
"The Cirque is moving on tomorrow, isn't it?" Xan questioned. Daryl nodded. "Is your friend staying?"
"You mean Steve? Yeah, he's staying. What about Xina?" Daryl enquired.
Xan shrugged. "Who knows? Who cares?" Daryl frowned. "What's that you're drinking?"
"Coffee," Daryl answered.
"Coffee?" Xan echoed. "What does it taste like?"
Daryl giggled. "Here, try some."
Xan took the brown mug out of the half-vampire's hands and gulped the whole thing down. When she had finished, she had a smile on her face that would put a Cheshire cat to shame.
"Hey! I said some, not the whole thing!" Daryl laughed.
Xan just giggled like a maniac. "I like turtles."
"What?"
"Daryl, you're a vampire, right? How come you don't sparkle?"
"Huh?"
"I once had a hamster called Mr. Happy Rainbow Cupcake Guy. My brother ate it."
"Xan, you don't have a brother."
"Man, Morgan Freeman is sexy."
"The guy from Bruce Almighty?"
Xan was now twirling in circles. "You know who else is sexy? Mr. Crepsley. I've always had a crush on him."
Daryl tilted her head in confusion. "You're crushing on Mr. Crepsley?"
Xan giggled and pulled her skirt up. "Look, Daryl! Aren't my panties pretty?"
"Ugh…yeah. Let's go find Xina."
"You gave her coffee?" Xina cried. "That stuff makes her crazy!"
Xan knocked over the bottle of water in her twin's hand. "Look, Daryl! I made a waterfall."
"That's pretty, Xan," Daryl replied. Then to Xina she said: "But when I gave it to her it seemed like she'd never heard of it."
"We're off to see The Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!"
"That's because last time she had it, it was so bad that Mom had to completely wipe her memory of the stuff." Xina explained.
"Daryl, your face is soft. Can I lick it?"
"No, honey. So when does it wear off?" Daryl asked.
"Do cats eat pineapples?"
"It usually wears off at the end of the day. The only thing is I don't have enough magic to wipe her memory when it does." Xina responded.
"I cry when people say unicorns aren't real."
"I guess we'll just have to keep her away from coffee from now on then." Daryl concluded.
"I hide the antidote to the potion I used to change Daryl into a girl under my pillow."
"What did you just say?" Daryl gasped.
"I once read a book and the last chapter was all about pubic hair." (A/N I actually did read a book like that)
"She keeps the antidote under her pillow!" Daryl cried. "I can be a dude again!"
Nameless OC was orginally a blue-haired boy in a wheelchair in a dream I had a little while ago. For some reason he was living with my family and he seemed to have some sort of mental problem but I loved him to bits. I called him Kaito in my dream o.O But then my Studio Ghibli poster fell off the wall and woke me up XD So as I was lying in bed, I thought up a lot of personality traits for him. He is no longer in a wheelchair but was born without hands and he is with the Cirque because his parents died in a house fire. Despite this he is very happy and uke-ish but he doesn't have any friends. Poor Nameless-chan D:
Anyway, yeah. Thanks to Ozuma thy Awesome and ferretgirlsz for being the only people who reviewed the last two chapters. Please review, it makes me happy :D