2. DIARY of Lieutenant Harding Welsh, Chicago PD

(The date for this one is a few days after 'Mountie on the Bounty')

Where do I start? The last few days have, without doubt, been the strangest of my career, so I thought I'd dust off this old diary and write some of it down. Otherwise, in a few months, I'll never believe any of it actually happened.

I suppose it all started with that transfer request that arrived for Vecchio (Kowalski, I mean. The detective currently known as Ray Vecchio, as Constable Fraser once put it). Powers that be decided that the undercover thing wasn't necessary any more, I guess they figured the real Vecchio was in deep enough.

Truth is I nearly didn't show him the transfer papers. I didn't want to lose Kowalski. I didn't want to lose Vecchio (the real Ray Vecchio, I mean) in the first place, but I didn't have much of a choice in that one. Geez, I hope neither of them ever read this. When I put out the word that I needed a 'new' Ray Vecchio, Kowalski's was the first file to land on my desk. I recognised the name, of course, Stella Kowalski is a very good Assistant States Attorney (terrifying woman, though). I was really impressed with his file, all those citations and I knew I wanted him in my department. He seemed OK with the whole RCMP liaising business so I brought him in. Now he had a chance to get his old life back and I had no idea if he was going to take it or not. It seemed to me that he'd been more comfortable being someone else these past few months?

I don't think Kowalski would have even considered it, but he and the Mountie had been going at each other all week. I didn't want to get involved, it wasn't affecting their work so it was none of my business.

I figured all partnerships go through ups and downs, hell I know they do, from bitter experience, but I also know that usually you can smooth out your differences and things go back to normal. I never expected Kowalski would ever hit the Mountie. I don't know what the problem was, but they'd been working up to something for days. Sure they bicker sometimes, but then Vecchio used to bicker with Fraser all the time and he never actually hit him. He did shoot him once though, but that was an accident.

Next thing I know there's a pirate in my morgue. I knew Kowalski and Fraser wouldn't be able to let this one go, but I didn't expect them to disappear without telling anyone.

Inspector Thatcher came to help with the search. She knew something was wrong because Fraser hadn't filled out his daily report, or something. Daily report! If any one of my detectives filled out a weekly report on time I think I'd fall off my chair! Anyway, turns out Fraser also had a transfer request. RCMP wanted him in Ottowa, I have no idea why. It would have been good for his career I suppose.

So now we had two missing officers. This is what makes my job so hard. I feel responsible for each and every one of my people and when they're in trouble I know I have to do whatever it takes. I just didn't expect that it would involve sailing the Great Lakes on a wooden ship full of crazy Mounties! Kowalski managed to get half a message through to us, four numbers that Thatcher realised were map co-ordinates, so we headed up to Lake Superior. I hadn't tested my sea legs in years, but suddenly the water was calling to me. I used to spend a lot of time up there on my uncle's boat when I was a kid. Got me away from my Dad I suppose.

Anyway, we located a detachment of Mounties. Seems that Sergeant Thorn has been trying to develop some sort of RCMP naval division. They've even built a boat, although apparently the only boat building plans she could find were some old blueprints in a book about the HMS Bounty, so that's what they built! Now, I've met some crazy Mountie's over the last few years, but honestly, Sergeant Thorn makes even Constable Turnbull look normal, well, almost normal. What a woman, though. She really had her recruits in line. If only I could get that sort of discipline out of my staff.

So Fraser and Kowalski appeared out of nowhere in a submarine. This was getting crazier by the minute. They'd somehow managed to get out of the Henry Allen before it sunk to the bottom of the Lake. Not sure of the details. We had to act fast to stop the Wailing Yankee dumping illegal toxic waste into the Lake.

Honestly it was the most fun I'd had in ages and I don't get to have that much fun these days. Maybe I've been sat behind my desk for too long. The Bounty had a full complement of canons and Fraser and Kowalski led the assault on the Wailing Yankee. If I'd been a few years younger I'd have been right out in front. Still, I managed to apprehend quite a few of those clowns, once I got over there. Felt really good and Thatcher was very effective in the field too, not that I was really surprised about that.

Fraser and Kowalski managed to round up the rest of the goons and then it was all over. I was a little disappointed really. I must try to get more involved with cases. Screw the paperwork.

I don't know exactly what happened, but Kowalski and the Mountie seem to have sorted out their differences. I even saw Constable Fraser laughing and usually he's far too uptight for that. They've both decided to stick around and I can't say how pleased I am, although I'd never dream of telling either one of them that. The 27th just wouldn't be the same without them.