5. RAY VECCHIO
(The date for this is post - Call of the Wild)
I think I'm going to ask Stella to marry me. Or maybe I won't, I just can't decide. I mean we're so perfect together and I love her more than I can explain, but I guess, maybe, part of me is scared of screwing up what we've already got. We've both been married before, although when I broke up with Angie we both knew it was the right thing to do. Don't get me wrong, I mean Angie is a wonderful woman, but she's no Stella is she! I know that when Stella and Stan got divorced, she was the one doing all the divorcing, if you know what I mean. I know she feels bad about hurting him like that, she's all but told me so, but she wanted out of the marriage and what Stella wants, Stella gets!
When I first told Lieutenant Welsh that I was moving to Florida with Stella, he shook me by the hand and said "You're a braver man than I, Vecchio." I think Stella used to scare him, I know she can be pretty formidable when she's working, I mean I've seen her when the vending machine guy turns up two hours late, but she's just standing up for what she believes in, what she knows is right. That's another thing I love about her.
I don't think we'll stay in Florida forever though. I mean Stella's been great about it so far, but I know she's dying to get back to being a lawyer and so she should, all that training and experience wasted just because of me. Thing is, when I came back from the undercover assignment, I just wanted to get away from Chicago, get away from police work. I know I helped put away some of the big guns from the mob, some real lowlifes, but I had to do some pretty low things myself to get the job done sometimes. Some of the things I saw, some of the things I had to do, well, I don't find it easy to talk about it, even now six months down the line. The Chicago PD offered me counselling at first, but I turned it down. I'm not really into all that crap. Sometimes Stella gets me to talk about things though, I don't know how she does it? It's great that she listens to me and she's not at all disturbed by some of the things she hears, or if she is she doesn't let it show. Did I mention how much I love her?
I have this dream for us, sounds kinda stupid, but I'd really like to be a PI. Like Magnum except without the moustache, I think I'm done with moustaches. I can see people coming to me for help, people in trouble, people with nowhere else to turn and then I do all the detective work with Stella right by my side dealing with all the legal stuff. Me helping people in trouble! I'm starting to sound like Benny now!
He calls me from the frozen butt end of who knows where, whenever he can get to a phone. He sounds so happy now he's back where he belongs. Maybe some people just enjoy being cold all the time? He and Kowalski seem to be having a blast on their quest. Quest? Who are they trying to kid? I know it was just an excuse for Benny to stay in Canada and as for Kowalski, Stella said she always knew he'd quit the police one day. She said that he only ever became a cop in the first place for two reasons, one was to try to prove something to her and the other was to try to prove something to his Dad. Well I guess he'd done proving things so he needed to try something new. I'm sure Benny'll help him 'find himself', or whatever that stupid new age expression is.
I can't say I'm not a little jealous, I mean me and Benny had some fun together, but I think he'd hate it in Florida even more than Chicago and there's no way I could live in the snow. Kowalski seems to have fitted right in up there though. Benny said sometimes he takes charge of the dog team and he's teaching him to ride a horse. You'd never catch me on a horse, not in Armani! Maybe Kowalski's already 'found himself' and he's found he's Canadian!
Benny and I will always be like brothers though, even though we're miles apart. We shared so much, some real tough times too. You know I still feel guilty about shooting him, although I know if I hadn't shot him he would have gone with Victoria on that train, so maybe...oh I don't know. I'll never forget the look on his face in that hospital. He loved her and she hurt him more than I'll ever be able to understand. What kind of life would he have had with her? On the run from the law, it would have killed him inside, that's if she hadn't killed him first. I don't believe in fate or anything, but maybe it was all meant to happen like that in the end? I thought she still had a gun, I could have sworn I saw a gun in her hand, but Benny said he'd already taken it from her, so I don't know what I saw, but something made me fire, just at the moment he jumped onto the train, that exact moment. This sounds ridiculous.
Anyway, that's going to be my first job when I open that detective agency. I'm going to find Victoria Metcalfe and then I'm going to kill her. OK I probably won't kill her, that's not what Benny would want me to do, but what if it was an accident, or self defence... Oh hell, maybe I did spend too much time with the mob.
Does anyone know a good jewellery store in Florida?