I have been super crazy busy, which left me super crazy tired. Plus Starfire is a little hard for me to write, especially as a non-innocent. But I had fun with this none the less. I don't think anybody really saw this coming because I was torn between both sins for our remaining two Titans.

I don't own the Titans and I don't decide righteousness. - J. Mirembe

She is a sinner.

What would the citizens of her city think of her if they knew? Certainly, they would lose faith in her ability to protect and serve them adequately. If that was the case she would not blame them for their loss of confidence. It would only be logical. She would not hold it against them if they requested another hero to replace her. However she does not wish to be removed from her home and friends. She is eternally thankful the citizens do not realize her great fault.

Even though the multitudes of average citizens do not recognize her weakness, she knows her friends are well aware. Though they will never speak of it aloud out of respect, they understand. The three of them sympathize for her. She recognizes it in the way they speak, both to her and about her to one another. It is written in the emotions that blaze in their expressive human eyes, the silence they keep on her behalf, and the gently concerned expressions they cast one another when they believe she cannot see them.

She is grateful to have such compassionate companions. However, she does not wish for their sympathy. They offer it freely and without hesitation. What she desires is much more difficult to obtain. Sometimes she doubts that she will ever truly obtain her goal. It appears to be nearly impossible.

However if there is one thing he has taught her, it is that nothing is impossible. No matter how long or difficult it may seem, there is always a chance. All that you must do is prepare for when opportunity presents itself. Once it has appeared, you must strike quickly or else sit back again to wait once more.

So she waits and watches. But even more often, she thinks.

What would it be like if she simply gave in? It would not be hard to follow her less noble instincts. She was not born perfect. No one has that dubious honor. No, she is just as flawed as any other being. She could give up these ideals of 'justice' and 'equality'. Honor is just a word after all. The only thing that gives words might is the belief placed in them. She is strong enough to make any word powerful.

It would be so easy to give up on being the hero. No more responsibility lying heavy across her shoulders. There would be no need for 'nice'. She would be as her sister and take everything she wanted for her own. Effortlessly having everything she wants is more than tempting. As soon as she traded sides, she would have the only thing she's ever really wanted.

He would be forced to pull his eyes away from computer screens. No longer would she be the last thing to cross his mind. She would be all he thought of throughout the day, only to haunt his sleep during the night. Finally she would have all his attention. Nothing would be strong enough to pull his focus from her. Maybe then he would have the time for her.

How sweet that moment would be. The second when he realized they were enemies instead of allies. Rivals compared to something undefined. She would become his forbidden fruit. Ever present, tempting and teasing but never close enough to take as his own. He is too used to getting what he wants. The whole situation would frustrate him too no end. He would hate it.

That would be fair. Making him watch and want just as she has would be true justice. On some level it would be satisfying to watch him squirm. He is always so poised and ready. She wants to see him flustered. As long as he felt something and it was for her. That's all she wants.

But she will never do such a thing. Betraying him would cause him far too much pain. She knows he needs her. Oh X'hal, does she know. Long after the others have lost their patience, she remains to listen to him. No matter how many times he has hurt her, she knows it has never been intentional. She is his confidant, his crutch. He needs her even more than he realizes. So she can bear to forgive him.

That does not keep her from imagining though. She could be all powerful. Cities would bow to her, nations would fall at her feet. All of Earth could be hers to control and all its contents would be hers as well. Riches, status, and power like she has not tasted since leaving Tamaran would again be the norm. Once more, she would be the Princess Koriand'r. Everything would be hers.

But it is not the thought of riches or glory that pulls her attention. No, her motivation is so much simpler. Finally she would command his full and utter attention. She would not even be required to conquer the planet. All it would take is just one simple sentence and few simpler actions. Pack up and leave. Rob a bank, hold a building hostage. Maybe she would steal the moon for him. That would most assuredly secure his focus. To appropriate such a treasure is both romantic and villainous.

It would also snap his heart in two. She does not want him injured. His pain is sharp enough to be her own. She does not love a broken shell. If he is not himself, then she does not want him.

That does not change the fact that she continually dwells on her twisted idea and the imagined look of horrified fascination that would cross his face. No matter how she hates it, she cannot shake the idea from her mind. Especially when that gnawing unease and smoldering anger burns as she is forced to wait on him. But she will not hurt him.

She waits and watches, always thinking as time slips away. With every passing second, she glories and agonizes in the knowledge that she is a sinner.

Envy-Invidia