Chapter 3;
Elena was sat on her bed. It was almost midnight and she was tired but sleep just wouldn't come. She didn't particularly want to sleep either, sleep meant dreams, dreams of him. Damon. Dreams where she'd wake up and for the briefest moment still be in his embrace. And it made waking up all the more hard, because she'd have to remember, remember everything. And it killed her. It always killed her. She needed something to do. She couldn't just sit here thinking about everything, thinking about him. She needed a distraction. She needed Stefan. She loved him, a lot, but it had just been so much hard work loving him. She's had to die and turn into a vampire, then die again and become a spirit, then be brought back to life, all to save him, to save his love. She didn't even really feel worthy of his love anymore, and she missed it, missed what they used to have. Missed what they had when the name Damon Salvatore had never entered her mind and she'd never gazed in to bottomless midnight eyes, always dilated with pleasure and lust. Lust for her.
That settled it, she was going to sneak out and go and see Stefan. All they needed was some alone time and then everything would go back to normal. Maybe she just missed Stefan, maybe that was why she was feeling so bad recently, and Stefan could make it all better. She slowly snuck down the stairs, careful to avoid the steps that creaked. When she reached the bottom she shrugged on her coat over her pyjamas and picked up her car keys.
"Elena?" Stefan asked groggily when he opened the door "What are you doing here at this time, love?"
"I missed you and had to see you" She said flirtily smiling up at him from under her lashes "We haven't been alone together for so long and I just- I missed you" She finished lamely, this already felt like a bad idea.
A slow smile spread across Stefan's lips "Okay, well come in then" He said stepping aside so she could enter the boarding house.
As soon as they got into Stefan's room, Elena pulled Stefan into a passionate kiss. He pulled away.
"Love, are you sure this is a good idea, I mean- "
"Just kiss me" She cut him off, pressing her lips back to his, Why could her not just kiss her? Why couldn't her just take her claim her. Like he'd done. Damon had never been hesitant about kissing her, he'd just taken her whenever and wherever he wanted, no regard for being caught or the consequences. But that was just Damon, he just took and took from her, and she loved it. Damon was her drug, he was her nasty heroin addiction, the addiction that she kept trying to kick but could never really manage it because he'd tasted so damn sweet and she'd been weak so she just gave herself to him over and over again, because really, who was she to deny the glorious, decadent sin that was Damon Salvatore.
She deepened the kiss even more for a second, and then led his lips down past her cheeks and jaw to her throat. She wanted him to bite her, to give her something, anything to make her feel alive again. Elena opened her eyes just before Stefan bit into her throat, and for a moment, a glorious sweet moment, she saw bottomless black eyes gazing back at her. She felt the sharp sting of Stefan's fangs as they slipped into the soft skin of her throat. And then the pleasure came, it was bliss, she'd missed this so much, being this close to someone. So close that literally their minds were touching, mingling, becoming one. This was everything. Except it wasn't, not really. Sure this was good, it always had been with Stefan, but somehow this felt wrong, she felt like she was betraying Damon's memory, because hadn't she promised that she'd never forget him, forget his love? That was exactly what she was trying to do really, forget Damon and his love, block him out of her head for a little while by filling her vision and thoughts with Stefan.
She felt the sting again as Stefan retracted his fangs from her neck and she watched in silence as Stefan bit down onto his own wrist, to draw blood for her to drink. He brought his wrist up to her mouth and Elena dutifully latched her lips onto it and sucked. She couldn't help comparing him to Damon who had tasted of passion, sin and something exciting that was so undeniably Damon. Stefan's blood tasted bland in comparison. She took one last swallow then pulled away. She needed to get out of here, now. She said goodbye to Stefan feeling vaguely embarrassed by their earlier intimacy and the awkwardness of the situation now. She quickly hopped into her car and drove, she wasn't entirely sure where she was going, but she knew that this had always helped Damon, Damon had always hid alone in his car, he'd once told her that after she'd died, he'd drove for miles and miles just aimlessly because it helped him think, it helped him deal with things. She was hoping it would help her now.