For Annie: See, I didn't take a month like w/ my other one. And, I went back to it, and I have no idea how to go on. So far I have the Marauders breakfasting. Any ideas?

Disclaimer: Do I need to disclaim every chapter? Anyway, all to J.K.

Help!

"Albus, we need to talk."

"Okay… So, what's up?"

"You know how Rose and I are going out?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, you know how your family is a little scary right?"

"A little scary? Scorp, do you remember what happened to Jack?"

Scorpius stared at Albus questioningly.

"McLaggen." He added.

"Wait, the Gryffindor? That was you guys? I thought you were all ethical."

"Um…no. We obviously are not when it comes to family. Did you know, all the adults participated too?"

"Er… poor guy. He looked terrible for months."

"Yeah, it was fun." Albus said nostalgically. "We went easy on him."

"That was easy?"

"Of course, his life wasn't ruined or anything. He was rather unfortunate looking for a while, and subject to some rather unfortunate events. Along with rude glares and… But that was it, really."

"That was it? The poor dude could barely get out of his room. He still barely leaves his room. And he looks horrid. He used to be such a handsome fellow too. And the stuff you guys did—"

"Seriously Scorpius, it's not our fault the guys afraid of breakfast… and birds—actually the birds might be—and we didn't do any permanent damage. Everything wrong with his face, he did it to himself. And you have nothing to worry about unless you do something wrong."

"Which Jack did?"

"Yup"

"What exactly did he do?" Scorpius asked with a gulp.

"Well… so he and Molly were going out right? And they realized they weren't good for each other and that it just wasn't working. And then they both started liking another person—his liked him back, Molly's, I think he pretended not to."

"That's right, how could anyone not like a Weasley"

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No, just stating facts" Scorpius said resigned.

"Anyway Jack was really scared of us. Like seriously scared. Shame, him being in Gryffindor and all. I really don't think he's a bad guy. He probably wasn't that scared of us, separately but together, we Weasleys—and Potters, are a force to be reckoned with"

"Gee thanks, you're so reassuring"

"No problem. So anyway, Molly wrote him a break-up letter, which is cold, I know, but she thought he would understand. Well, for some weird reason, probably because she was so far away at the time and because the owl was defective, it took forever to arrive. In the meantime, he didn't want to dump her, in fear of incurring our wrath and they sorta made up or something. And then, according to his new crush, Betty something or other 'he's sooo hot. He is like sooo into me. We were like tohtally macking, ahnd, the Wheasley's have nho ideha' so we had to do something."

"I had no idea you were so good at Valspeak."

"What? Anyway, Betty whoever was soo phrouhd of herself that we had to do something to shut her up. And Jack? He turned out to be a lot worse than we thought. Now that I remember, he's an arse. Forget that I said he was okay. Molly decided to try things out to not break his heart and he goes around snogging Betty whatshername in the common room. In front of a billion Weasleys. With Molly present. I don't think he realized, and then he had the nerve to tell her it was just a side thing, that he really cared about her but that 'a guy has needs, and she can't just go around expecting that only one girl, especially her can fulfill all of them'. It was hilarious too, because just then, her owl appeared knocking on his window and all Molly did was smirk while he read a letter that she wrote weeks ago. She went all 'after all a girl has needs, and you can't do shit' Molly, I kid you not! And then he yelled at her and would've almost hit her too, but James had followed them and was waiting outside Jack's dorm and when he heard things get rowdy he went in and punched Jack. "

"Wow."

"You know, later when we were all fussing over Molly, she said he would've never hit her… which is true I suppose. But, he got really close, and even if he was just going to grab her and shake her, James did the right thing."

"So how did all that stuff happen?"

"Oh, Molly had brought Jack over for dinner that year. We knew she didn't really like him because it wasn't Christmas dinner, but everybody got to meet him. You didn't cause it wasn't like a formal serious thing or anything. It was just a regular first night at Burrow dinner. The only non-blood relation there was him. Oh yeah, and Teddy, but he's practically blood. No really liked him too much, so all the adults—as in Dad, Granddad and the uncles called him into a room and threatened him. After the incident, they felt they had to go through with it—and everyone participated, for good measure."

"Seriously your family is not cool."

"My family is very cool."

"It's not normal for family to be that close. I mean parents and normal siblings aren't as close as all of you are with your extended family. I mean seriously, I bet there's twins out there who aren't as close as all of you cousins are with each other."

"Yeah, we are fiercely protective and familial. And we're not anything if not not normal" Albus added with a glint.

"So everyone participated?"

"Everyone. I think Granddad and everyone were actually quite excited to cause harmless danger. Us, not so much. We are good with harm. Even Lucy participated. The aunts were a little hesitant because he's only a boy so they decided to prank the parents instead."

"Ouch. Even Mrs. Weasley? I mean Rose's mom."

"Yup. Let's start from the beginning. Grandpa got him an unridikulable boggart to go. It was those little 3D cellphone things. Jack never realized that all he had to do was turn it off, or put it away—he carried it everywhere. Oh yeah, Hugo did something similar, except he got him glasses that he couldn't take off and whenever he closed his eyes, he saw his worst made him bad cookies and while she wasn't looking, Molly added worse stuff to it. It was really funny too. Grandmum wrote him a letter that said it was a shame he wouldn't be a part of the family and how she hopes he could enjoy her cookies one last time. Because of Molly, he didn't realize how bad the cookies were until he swallowed the very last crumb. He was in the bathroom more than he was out that month. He was positively green and purple. And—"

"Wait, that's not enough? There's more?"

"That's only 3 people. We were having fun, not just ruining him so every single one of us participated"

"Ughh… you guys and your fun."

"Hey, at least we didn't make the significant others and best friends participate."

"Why? It sounds fun."

" It was, but that's just cruel."

"Do me a favor? Don't tell me the rest."

"Don't worry, I will, but later. You're scared enough for today"

A/N: Do the English say cookies? I think they might say biscuits, oh well. Anyway, sorry it took a while to upload. I kind of got distracted—good fanfics, the library—you guys know how distracting that stuff is.