Summary: The death of two of his friends is about to change Tony's life forever. Gibbs wants to help but will his presence help or hinder the situation. SLASH GIBBS/TONY. I'm rating it M for later chapters.
This story is an ideal from Hotshow. Hope she enjoys it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Feedback is always welcome and appreciated. Thanks for the feedback so far, glad to hear people seem to be enjoying it.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to Cookie62 for beta reading you rock!
Walking quietly into the room, Reed ran over to Tony when he saw him sitting on the edge of the bed awake.
"Uncle Tony we brought you a jelly donut." Reed handed him the plate. "And coffee but Jethro said I would spill it so he has it."
"Thanks. Jelly is my favorite." Tony smiled and mussed up Reed's hair.
Reed smiled. "Jethro knew it was your favorite."
Gibbs handed Tony the coffee.
"Thanks." Tony nodded.
Reed crawled up on the bed next to Tony.
"I went to breakfast in my pj's. Jethro said it was okay that hotels don't care. I had cereal." Reed flopped down on the bed. "And orange juice and we shared an apple. Oh and Jethro had two cups of coffee. Then he said I had to be quiet when we came in because you might be asleep. He said you like to sleep late. Do you always sleep late?"
Tony went to answer but Reed kept going.
"Jethro says you do and that he doesn't sleep much at all." Reed went onto his knees looking at Tony. "He builds boats and stuff in the basement and says I can help him if I pay attention and respect the tools. Have you ever helped him on the boat?"
Tony didn't answer assuming Reed was going to continue.
"Well have you?" Reed stared at Tony.
"Oh I get to answer now?" Tony grinned.
Reed laughed and fell back onto the bed.
"And yes I have helped him." Tony leaned towards Reed and whispered. "But I'm not very good."
"Maybe Jethro just needs to teach you more." Reed was serious now. "Sometimes it takes a couple times to learn."
Tony nodded. "I think I need a lot of practice."
"Will you teach as both?" Reed looked at Gibbs and asked.
Gibbs nodded.
"Do I have to take a shower?" Reed was now talking to Tony.
"Um yeah." Tony nodded not sure if that was the right answer.
"Can you start it for me?"
Tony glanced over at Gibbs.
Gibbs smirked and nodded.
"Okay." Tony looked back at Reed. "Grab some clothes."
Reed bounced off the bed and towards his bag.
Tony headed towards the bathroom starting the shower. Gibbs stepped in after him.
"He's old enough to be in the shower alone as long as you're nearby." Gibbs smiled. "He's getting to that age where he wants to do everything himself."
"Yeah I remember that." Tony grinned.
"I know how to take a shower." Reed rolled his eyes as he walked into the bathroom. "I'm not a baby."
"Alright then." Tony rolled his eyes back at Reed. "We'll be outside if you need us."
Tony and Gibbs walked out leaving the door half way open.
"How do I know he's okay?" Tony sighed suddenly worried.
"If you hear a thud or a scream he's not okay." Gibbs grinned.
Tony glared at him. "Thanks Mr. Smart ass."
"Tony, taking care of a kid is 90 percent common sense."
"The other ten percent?" Tony asked.
"Praying." Gibbs smirked.
Tony laughed.
"Relax." Gibbs paused. "He'll let you know if he needs anything, believe me."
Tony looked at Gibbs when he heard the water stop.
"You okay?" Tony asked standing by the door.
"I'm done." Reed shouted out. "Getting dressed."
Gibbs chuckled.
Tony ran his hands over his face.
##############################################################################
"We aren't getting the rest of my stuff?" Reed looked confused.
"It's being delivered." Tony answered.
"By who?"
"A moving company."
"Why?"
"Because we can't fit everything in the car."
"When will it get there?"
"Tomorrow."
"When will we be there?"
"Hours."
"How old are you?"
Tony looked in the back seat at Reed.
"How old are you?" Reed asked again.
"Old enough."
Reed laughed. "I bet you're 26."
Tony smiled. "Yeah I am."
Gibbs rolled his eyes as he listened staring at the road ahead of him.
"Does the house have a pool?"
"No." Tony shook his head.
"A back yard?
"Yeah a big one." Tony smiled.
"Can we get a jungle gym?"
"Have to ask the boss man." Tony smirked.
Reed looked at Tony puzzled. "Who's the boss man?"
Tony nodded towards Gibbs.
Reed laughed. "He's not the boss man he's Jethro."
That made Tony laugh. "Well he is, sort of. It's his house and we are guests there."
Thinking about it, Reed nodded. "Does he have house rules?"
"Yeah." Tony nodded
"Mommy made house rules." Reed said looking down at the back seat.
"I bet she did." Tony had seen the sadness fill Reed's eyes. "But I know she only had them to keep you safe."
"Yeah that's what she said." Reed suddenly looked up and changed the subject. "What are Jethro's house rules?"
"I am sitting right here." Gibbs said glancing in the review mirror at Reed.
Reed grinned. "I need to learn the house rules."
Gibbs nodded. "Yeah."
"What are they?"
"Don't do anything that you know you shouldn't do." Gibbs answered.
Reed made a funny face. "What does that mean?"
"Your mom and dad taught you right and wrong didn't they?"
"Yeah." Reed nodded.
"So tell me something that's wrong to do?" Gibbs asked.
"Don't touch other people's stuff unless you ask."
"Good."
"Always tell the truth."
Gibbs nodded.
"Don't run up the steps."
"You know what you shouldn't do." Gibbs paused. "Those same rules apply at your new house."
"It's your house, not mine."
"While you are there it's your house too." Gibbs smiled at Reed in the review mirror.
"So I get my own room?" Reed grinned.
Gibbs chuckled. "I think we can work something out."
"Can we paint it blue? Blue's my favorite color."
"Yeah."
"So can we get a jungle gym?" Reed smiled repeating his question to Tony.
Gibbs shook his head. "Maybe."
"Dad said maybe is a nice way of saying no."
Tony looked at Gibbs with a smirk.
"For some people, but with me it means I have to think about it."
"Sweet!" Reed grinned.
##################################################################################
A half hour later, Reed was fast asleep in the back seat, his head leaning against the side of the car door. Every five minutes Tony would stare back at him, and then return to watching the road.
"He's asleep, nothing's going to happen to him." Gibbs smirked.
Tony chuckled and shook his head. "I'm paranoid."
"No." Gibbs chuckled. "You're becoming a parent. Parents worry."
"Two days." Tony sighed.
"That's all it takes." Gibbs smiled.
"Did you see his eyes when he talked about his mom's house rules?" Tony ran his hands over his face.
Gibbs sighed. "Right now everything is new and exciting. He's going to a new place, with new people, learning new things, but the newness will wear off."
"Yeah."
"And he'll start to miss them, want them and won't understand why they can't be here or why they left him." Gibbs glanced over at Tony. "That's when you'll see the hard part of being a parent."
Tony groaned. "I think this part is hard."
Gibbs chuckled. "It's hard but this is the fun hard."
Looking back at Reed Tony smiled. "I swear he looks just like his mom. He has David's nose but that's it."
Reed's dark hair was short on the sides and back longer on top to let him spike it up. His deep blue eyes the exact same color as his mothers and his face, like looking at Gabby. He even talked like her, smart and wise beyond his tender years.
"Gabby was so intelligent." Tony smiled. "She could have done anything. Been a doctor, a high priced lawyer, made all kinds of money. But she never wanted that."
"What did she want?" Gibbs asked keeping his eyes on the road.
"To help people." Tony turned back around and leaned his head against the back of the seat. "She fought for so many causes I can't remember then all."
"She sounds great."
"She studied public policy, got countless degrees in that and anything she thought would teach her how to help people." Tony sighed. "Then she started her own non-profit with David and Mark, when Reed turned two."
"Not any easy job."
Tony grinned. "That's what I always told her, but she said my job was harder. That I was on the front lines of helping people who didn't have a voice."
Gibbs nodded.
"I always told her I wanted you two to meet." Tony smiled. "She would have loved you. You're commitment and dedicated. The way you always fight for the underdog and the innocent."
"I just do my job." Gibbs sighed.
"No you don't." Tony looked over at Gibbs. "You care. It's not about awards or making arrests. It's about making sure the victims have a voice."
Gibbs didn't say anything.
"Why are you doing this for me." Tony paused. "And Reed."
"Because you're my friend and I care." Gibbs' hands tightened around the steering wheel.
Staring out the front window Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.
"Last night, I felt safe and okay, that everything was really going to be alright for the first time since this all started." Tony knew his voice shook, knew that Gibbs would understand what Tony met by last night. He had never slept as peaceful as he did last night in Gibbs arms.
"It's okay." Was Gibbs short quick answer, he didn't trust himself to say anything more.
################################################################################
As he pulled into the driveway, he turned off the car and took a deep breath. First he looked over at Tony sound asleep in the passenger seat, head against the window, mouth slightly open. Then he looked back at Reed, he was asleep again as well. They had stopped for lunch, played twenty questions in the car with each other. Tony and Reed had spent hours singing some pop songs Gibbs had never even heard of until both had fallen asleep. He immediately flashed back to Shannon and Kelly. They would sing for hours in the car, and then fall asleep while Gibbs drove. And he didn't care because knowing they were in the car with him was all he needed. A ready-made family was what this was and Gibbs wasn't sure he was going to be able to handle this, especially when it went away. This was temporary, Tony would eventually find a house, he and Reed would move, and Gibbs would be right back where he started. Alone in a house, that was no longer a home.
Shaking the thoughts from his head, Gibbs touched Tony's shoulder shaking it slightly. Tony stirred and stretched, saw the house in front of him then looked over at Gibbs.
"I'm great company." Tony smiled.
"It's fine." Gibbs forced himself to return the smile.
Tony looked back at Reed. "Should we wake him up?"
"Let's try not to." Gibbs smirked as he climbed out of the car, quietly shutting the door. Tony slipped out of the car, then pushed his seat forward. He unhooked Reed's seat belt and grabbed him around the waist. Still in a sleepy fog, Reed wrapped his arms around Tony's neck and let himself be carried from the car.
Gibbs pushed the door in and let Tony enter the house first, carrying Reed.
"Let me grab a pillow." Gibbs picked up the pillow from the side of the couch and dropped it down.
Gently, Tony laid Reed down. The boy curled up staying asleep. Gibbs grabbed the blanket and tenderly placed it over the small boy.
"This all still seems like some surreal dream." Tony sighed looking down at Reed.
"And it probably will for a while."
"Yeah." Tony nodded.
"Go upstairs, get some sleep."
Tony look at Gibbs. "You sure?"
Gibbs nodded. "He'll be fine."
Making his way to the steps, Tony paused. "You coming up?"
Gibbs shook his head. "Boat."
Tony nodded. "Night."
"Night." Gibbs watched Tony disappear up the steps then ran his hands through his hair. This is not yours, he told himself, none of it.
"This your house?"
Gibbs jerked around as he heard Reed's voice.
"Yeah." Gibbs nodded.
"This is lumpy." Reed said as his eyes drifted closed again then shot opened again.
"It's only for tonight." Gibbs chuckled. "Your bed will be here tomorrow."
Reed nodded then closed his eyes. "Mommy said if you love someone you should always tell them."
Gibbs eyebrow went up.
"Because you never know when they won't be there to tell."
"Yeah." Gibbs sighed and with that Reed was asleep again.
############################################################################
"You really should get some sleep."
Gibbs looked up from the boat seeing Tony descending down the stairs.
"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
Tony chuckled. "Right."
Dropping down on the second step from the bottom, Tony sighed.
"Did you sleep at all?" Gibbs asked.
"A little." Tony looked at Gibbs. "You should go upstairs and sleep before work."
"I'm not going to work." Gibbs leaned back against the boat.
"Gibbs you don't have to do that." Tony paused. "I can handle the movers."
"I know." Gibbs nodded.
"Afraid the two of us will tear the house apart." Tony grinned.
"You maybe, not him." Gibbs smirked.
"Thanks!" Tony chuckled.
"There's just some things that need to be done tomorrow." Gibbs paused. "And I'd like to be here to help."
Tony nodded.
"Now get back to bed." Gibbs grinned. "Reed's going to run you ragged tomorrow."
Tony stood up and saluted Gibbs. "Yes sir."
"Don't call me sir."
"Yes Boss."
Gibbs shook his head. "We're not at work. Here Jethro is fine."
Tony's eyes narrowed. "Not sure I can do that."
"Try."
"Taking orders from a four year old?" Tony smirked remembering that Reed had said Tony should call Gibbs Jethro because they were not at work.
"Hardly." Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"You need sleep too." Tony sighed. "I can sleep down stairs be close to Reed so you can have the bed."
"I'll come up later."
"Promise?"
Gibbs nodded.
Walking back up the stairs, Gibbs waited until Tony disappeared then head slapped himself.
###########################################################################
True to his promise, Gibbs entered the bedroom an hour later, already in sweats and a t-shirt from his bag down stairs. He slipped into bed quietly not wanting to wake Tony for countless reasons. Lying on his back he stared up at the ceiling in the pitch black room. He should have just slept on the boat, Tony was sound asleep and wouldn't remember if Gibbs had come to bed or not. So why had he come up here, to torture himself, to fulfill a promise that Tony had probably already forgotten? The man had so much on his mind right now Gibbs doubted a quick promise to come to bed in the basement would stick in his mind. What it really came down to was Gibbs wanted to be here.
##############################################################################
Tony felt the arm around him, felt the warmth and comfort and settled into it. He would have known who it was even without being in Gibbs' house and Gibbs' bed. It was the familiar scent of saw dust that always gave it away. He didn't remember Gibbs coming to bed or the arm wrapping around him, he only knew he welcomed it. Just as he was about to let his mind drift back to sleep he realized someone else was here. Opening his eyes Reed was standing by the bed smiling.
"You awake?" Reed asked.
"I am now." Tony smiled back. "Let me guess you're hungry?"
Reed nodded.
Trying to slip out of Gibbs embrace, Tony slid from the bed.
"Alright let's go see what we've got." Tony sighed.
Reed headed back towards the stairs, Tony following on his heels. Making their way into the kitchen Tony grabbed Reed and sat him on the counter.
"Gibbs isn't a big eater so not sure what we will find." Tony grinned at Reed then started opening cabinets. He finally found two boxes of cereal, neither being the sugary type kids usually like.
"Chex?" Tony asked.
Reed made an unhappy face but nodded.
"Can I start some coffee first."
"Yeah." Reed nodded. "Jethro likes coffee."
Tony chuckled as he put the coffee in the filter then grabbed the coffee pot and filled it with water. "That he does."
"Are you two boyfriends yet?" Reed asked swaying his feet back and forth in front of the counter.
Tony almost dropped the coffee pot which made Reed laugh.
"You want to be his boyfriend I can tell."
Pouring the water into the machine, Tony turned the coffee on and leaned against the counter.
"And how can you tell?"
"You look at him all googlie-eyed." Reed made his eyes look all funny imitating the look.
"Is that so?" Tony couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah." Reed nodded. "And you stare at his butt."
"I do not!" Tony's voice was raised.
Reed grinned. "Yes you do."
Tony rubbed his hand over his forehead.
"And you two cuddle at night." Reed laughed. "And you like it."
"Gibbs is just my friend."
"You love him." Reed teased. "You want to kiss him."
Tony's head dropped back.
"It's okay to want to kiss him."
Pulling his head up Tony sighed. "Yeah."
Reed looked at Tony.
"Reed we really are just friends." Tony paused. "Can you understand that?"
Reed nodded.
"Gibbs doesn't think of me like a boyfriend. He likes girls."
"Do you like girls?" Reed asked.
"Um, yeah." Tony knew he didn't sound convincing.
"Do you like boys too?"
Tony stared at Reed his eyes wide.
"You can like boys and girls." Reed smiled.
Tony's ran his hand over his face. "You're mom taught you about all this didn't she?"
Reed nodded. "Mommy's friend Paul likes boys and girls."
"Okay I'm not ready to have this conversation with you." Tony sighed. "I need coffee."
Reed laughed again. "I need cereal!"
"Right." Tony lifted him off the counter. "Table, I'll bring it to you."
Pouring a cup of coffee for himself, Tony then grabbed a bowl and prepared the cereal for Reed. Making his way to the table he placed the cereal in front of Reed then sat down. He watched Reed wondering how a four year old could see what Tony had been hiding for years. The cuddling, as Reed called it, he understood how that looked, but the other things.
"Morning." Gibbs said walking by the table into the kitchen.
"Good morning."
Reed finished his bite of cereal. "Uncle Tony made coffee for you."
"I see that." Gibbs poured a cup then joined them at the table.
"You need better cereal." Reed said then shoved another spoonful into his mouth.
"Grocery shopping on the list." Gibbs grinned.
Reed jumped down from the chair and went to run out of the room.
"Hey where you going?" Tony asked.
Reed rolled his eyes. "Gotta pee." and with that he ran up the stairs.
Gibbs chuckled.
"How does he know where the bathroom is?" Tony raised an eyebrow.
"He's four he was probably already exploring the house before he woke you up." Gibbs smirked.
Tony shook his head. "He talks like he's already an adult sometimes."
"They do that." Gibbs smiled. "Then they're back to being a kid again."
"I need to go to the apartment pick up a few things." Tony looked at Gibbs. "Then do some shopping."
"I'll keep an eye on Reed."
"I was going to take him with me."
"Okay." Gibbs nodded.
"Get some groceries for him. Find out what he likes."
"You um, need any," Gibbs paused. "Money."
Tony raised an eyebrow. "You're offering me money?"
"For groceries." Why did offering money sound so weird.
"No. I'm good." Tony grinned.
"Paying for the movers and everything I didn't know." Gibbs took another sip of his coffee.
"I didn't have to pay for the movers." Tony sighed. "Gabby and David left money to help take care of Reed and left him a nice trust fund."
Gibbs looked surprised. "That's great."
"Mark is handling all that. If I need anything I can let him know."
Gibbs tried to hide the sadness he suddenly felt. "Guess that will make getting everything taken care of easier."
Tony nodded. "Yeah. There's so much allotted every month for whatever he needs. Plus if there's anything unexpected that comes up I can ask Mark for more if necessary."
Gibbs nodded.
"When the house sells that money will go into Reed's trust fund as well."
Another nod.
"And no funeral." Tony sighed. "Cremation."
Reed came bouncing back into the room.
"When does my stuff come?"
"Later today." Tony answered.
Reed looked over at Gibbs. "Can I see my room?"
Gibbs smiled. "Sure."
"Then come on." Reed grabbed Gibbs' hand pulling him out of the chair.
"Okay. I'm coming." Gibbs chuckled as Reed dragged him up the stairs.
Tony followed a few steps behind.
When they reached the top of the steps Reed finally let go of Gibbs and waited for him to show him which door lead to his new room.
"Here." Gibbs grinned as he stopped in front of the last door in the hallway.
Reed turned the knob and ran inside.
"It's JINORMOUS!" Reed grinned as he walked around the room running his hand along the walls.
"It's pretty big." Gibbs smirked.
Suddenly Reed stopped. "I need more stuff!"
Tony laughed from his spot beside Gibbs in the doorway.
"Let's see how it looks once we get your stuff in then we can go from there." Tony shook his head.
"But it's white." Reed made a face of dislike.
"We'll get some blue paint."
"AWESOME!" Reed dropped down on the floor.
"Gibbs you don't need to do all-"
"It's just paint." Gibbs smiled over at Tony.
Tony nodded.
"Pick some up today while you're out." Gibbs paused. "And some rollers."
"Okay."
"Reed, you ready to do some shopping?" Tony asked.
"Shop till we drop." Reed grinned.
Gibbs rolled his eyes. That definitely sounded like Tony.
"Then go down stairs and get dressed."
Jumping up Reed tore out of the bedroom, slowing down only when he reached the steps and going down then slowly, taking off at a run again as soon as he hit the bottom.
"I wish I had that kind of energy." Tony snickered.
"Me too." Gibbs chuckled.
#############################################################################
The movers had come and gone. Placing countless boxes and furniture in Reed's room. Gibbs had put the bed together but left everything else for when Reed could decide where he wanted everything. Sitting down on the twin bed Gibbs looked at the countless boxes. Why hadn't he thought about the fact that Reed's parents would provide for him, of course they would. Trust fund, monthly stipend to take care of him. Any parent would do that. Originally he thought it would take months, maybe a year for Tony to get everything settled, find a house, but now he wasn't so sure. He thought maybe given enough time things would change something would happen. Wishful thinking.
"Jethro"
Gibbs heard his name and smiled.
"Jethro where are you."
"Right here." Gibbs said coming down the steps.
"We got TONS of stuff."
"Did you?" Gibbs grinned at Reed.
"Tony needs your help."
Gibbs saw Tony walk in with an arm full of bags.
"There's more in the car."
"I'll grab it."
After several trips to and from the car, everything was finally inside. Gibbs looked at the last few things Tony had sat down in the living room.
"A cot?" Gibbs looked confused.
"Um yeah. I'll explain that later." Tony answered from the kitchen where Reed was helping him put away groceries.
"Did you get enough?" Gibbs shook his head as he walked into the kitchen.
"I think." Tony smiled.
"We got good cereal." Reed said holding up a box with some clown character on it.
Gibbs nodded.
"We got steaks too." Reed smiled. "Tony said you'll cook them for us."
"You like steak?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow.
"Of course!"
"Your stuff's here." Gibbs winked.
Reed's eyes got big. "Can I go unpack stuff?"
"Open boxes and see what's in them." Gibbs paused. "Let's wait on unpacking just yet."
Reed looked disappointed but nodded.
"Your bed's set up."
"Cool." Reed ran towards the steps.
Once Gibbs heard him enter his bedroom, he turned to Tony.
"The cot?" He asked again.
Tony paused a moment then grabbed a bag and walked towards the fridge.
"Reeds getting the wrong idea by us sleeping together." Tony said as he unpacked the bag and placed the items in the fridge.
Gibbs chuckled to himself. Reed must have had the same talk with Tony that he had with him that morning at the hotel.
"He understands it's okay for two men to love each other and I agree." Tony sighed. "But we're not together and it will only confuse him."
"Because he wants us to be." Gibbs paused. "Together."
Tony nodded. "Yeah. We can't let him believe that could happen. It's not fair to him."
"Right." Gibbs felt the hope fade away. Tony's statement answering a question Gibbs no longer needed to ask.
"I thought I could set the cot up down here." Tony closed the fridge and grabbed another bag now putting items in the cabinets.
"Might be better to put it in the bedroom." Gibbs cleared his throat. "I'm not up there much anyway."
"Maybe."
"It makes sense that way. I'm in the basement and kitchen a lot."
"Okay." Tony forced a smile.
"Do you wanna do some painting today?" Gibbs need a change of subject.
"That's all Reed talked about when we picked out the paint." Tony groaned.
"Blue right?"
"Rhythm and Blues is the color." Tony chuckled.
Gibbs laughed. "Nice."
"It's dark blue. I hope you're okay with it."
"Whatever he wants." Gibbs shrugged. "I'll grab some drop clothes and meet you upstairs."
"Sounds good."
As Gibbs left the room Tony sighed. This was so much harder than he even imagined.
#######################################################################
With drop clothes covering the carpet, Gibbs opened the paint bucket poured some into a tray and handed a roller to Tony.
"I'll start by the door." He said taking his tray of paint and roller.
Reed stood by Gibbs looking at the paint.
"You know how to paint?" Gibbs asked him.
"No." Reed shook his head vigorously.
"Here." Gibbs handed him a paint brush. Then filled a tray and grabbed his own roller.
Making his way across the room, Reed followed.
"Dip the brush in?" Gibbs sat the tray on the floor and looked at Reed.
The boy put his brush in the paint.
"Then get some of the extra off." Gibbs took his hand and showed him how to remove some of the excess by wiping the brush on the side of the tray. "Got it."
"Yeah." Reed nodded.
"Now just brush up and down the wall."
Reed touched the brush to the wall and moved it up and down.
"That's it." Gibbs smiled.
"Tony look!" Reed practically screamed. "I'm painting!"
Tony looked over and smiled as Reed looked back at him.
Gibbs started rolling on the paint glancing over at Reed as he went along. After a few minutes, Reed stopped.
"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked.
"We need music."
"I can take care of that." Tony put down his roller and left the room. A few minutes later he returned with his IPod and speakers. "So what are you in the mood for?"
"Shikara." Reed smiled.
Tony looked at Reed skeptical. "Shikara? Your mom let you listen to Shikara?"
"I know all her songs." Reed grinned.
"If you can't sing along with this song I'm turning it off."
"I can sing it!"
Tony started the song Hips Don't Lie and Reed started singing, which made Tony start laughing.
Gibbs eyebrow went up and he glared at Tony. The words were a little too adult.
"Um maybe a different song." Tony said skipping ahead and finding another Shikara song. Objection started.
Gibbs shook his head at the Tango like beat but at least the words seemed less sexual.
Seeing that Gibbs seemed sort of okay with the song, Tony went back to painting, listening and grinning as Reed sang to the song.
Glancing over at Reed, Gibbs chuckled and shook his head. A few seconds later Reed was dancing around with his paint brush and not paying attention. Gibbs felt the wet brush touch his arm and turned to Reed.
Reed laughed but then realized that maybe Gibbs didn't find it funny and he stopped. Gibbs stepped forward and narrowed his eyes at Reed. Tony looked back having heard Reed laugh and watched the scene before him. Reed now looked worried, scared until Gibbs touched the roller to his nose then he broke out laughing again.
Tony was now laughing too. Gibbs turned his attention to Tony, the serious look back on his face, then he glanced at Reed. The boy nodded understanding.
"No!" Tony held up his roller. "Don't even think about it."
Gibbs and Reed advanced both pouncing on Tony. Somehow Tony ended up on the floor, Gibbs straddling his hips as Reed brushed his cheek with the paint brush.
"Not fair!" Tony laughed as Gibbs ran the roller up his shirt then over his nose.
Reed was laughing uncontrollably now, rolling on the floor.
"That's it!" Tony yelled as he flipped Gibbs over, changing their positions.
"Get him!" Reed laughed as he started running the brush over Gibbs' face.
Tony not to be out done ran his roller over the front of Gibbs' shirt and down his right sleeve.
"Oh that's how it's gonna be." Gibbs laughed as he grabbed Reed and pulled him against his paint covered chest.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Reed screamed as he giggled, his clothes now covered in blue paint.
Seeing Tony laughing and not paying attention, Gibbs let Reed go and grabbed Tony's arms pulling him down against his chest.
"HEY!" Tony cried out through his laughter. Yet he never struggled, just let Gibbs pull him closer.
"Not even pretending to fight back." Gibbs chuckled as his hands involuntarily locked on to Tony's hips.
Tony froze as he realized the position they were in and the reaction his body was starting to have. He pulled back looking down into Gibbs' eyes. Gibbs smiled up at him, the smile faded when he saw the scared look in Tony's eyes. He immediately pulled his hands away and Tony jumped up.
"That was so fun!" Reed grinned as he jumped up and down.
Tony forced a smile. "Alright back to painting the actual walls."
Reed pouted. "Fine."
Getting up, Gibbs grabbed him and carried him back over to his spot by the wall. It made Reed giggle again and the pout disappeared.
"Now paint." Gibbs paused then added. "The wall."
Reed grinned. "Okay."
A few hours later, the room was done.
"THIS IS SO AWESOME!" Reed's excitement was contagious.
"And now you need to get cleaned up." Gibbs smirked. "It's getting late."
"You two need to get cleaned up." Reed grinned.
Gibbs nodded. "Yeah we do."
##############################################################################
Glancing over from the couch, Gibbs saw Tony finally come down the stairs.
"Is he asleep?" Gibbs grinned.
"Finally." Tony chuckled. "He actually fell asleep in the middle of a sentence."
Gibbs chuckled.
Tony dropped down on the couch beside Gibbs.
"I'm exhausted."
"Why don't you get to bed?" Gibbs paused. "Um I set the cot up for you."
"Thanks."
"I'll be down in the basement." And with that Gibbs got up and walked away.
##########################################################################
He had worked on the boat for hours finally, laying down and trying to fall asleep with no success. Closing his eyes he tried again, washing the thoughts from his mind, and focusing on the blackness.
"MOMMY!"
The scream pierced through the silence.
"DADDY!"
Gibbs was on his feet and running up the basement steps then the steps upstairs two at a time. The door to Reed's room was already open; he walked in to find Tony holding the boy in his arms. Reed was clinging to Tony as if his life depended on it.
"It's okay." Tony voice was soft and gentle a soothing tone to help calm Reed as he ran his hand over his hair.
"I want my mommy." Reed cried against Tony's chest.
"I know." Tony sighed. "I know."
Sitting down on the other side of the bed, Gibbs rubbed Reeds back. Tony looked at Gibbs, tears falling from his own eyes.
"Just hold him." Gibbs whispered. "I'm gonna make some warm milk."
"Don't go." Reed cried.
"I'll be right back."
"No." Reed shook his head and cried harder.
"Okay." Gibbs sighed continuing to rub Reed's back. "I'll stay right here."
They stayed there like that for hours until Reed's tears subsided and he fell asleep in Tony's arms.
Trying not to let his motion move the bed, Gibbs stood up, letting Tony lay Reed down. He never stirred, just melted down into the pillow.
Tony stood up and ran his hands through his hair then walked out of the room. Walking out a few seconds later, Gibbs found Tony leaning against the wall tears running down his face.
"I knew it was coming." Tony spoke through the tears. "It's just hard."
"Yeah." Gibbs stepped in front of Tony and as if it were as natural as walking he fell into Gibbs welcoming arms.
The tears continued to fall as Gibbs' hand caressed up and down Tony's back.
"We'll get him through it." Gibbs whispered in Tony's ear.
Tony nodded against Gibbs' neck trying to force the tears to stop.
"I promise." Gibbs added as he pulled Tony deeper into the embrace.
Without a thought Tony's arm wrapped around Gibbs neck accepting the comfort being offered.
Pulling his head up, Tony found himself staring at Gibbs' lips wanting nothing more than to close the distance between them.
"You okay."
"Yeah." Tony looking into Gibbs eyes and forced a smile. "I'll be fine. I think I'll sleep in Reed's room."
"Good idea. I'll help you move the cot." Gibbs removed his arms from around Tony and walked back into the master bedroom.
################################################################################
The rest of the night was quiet, Tony asleep on the cot in Reed's room and Gibbs wide awake lying in bed. Before he left for work, he looked in the room and they were both still sound asleep. He didn't realize at that moment that this was to become the routine for the week, but it was.
Every night for the next three nights, Reed woke up wanting his parents and Tony and Gibbs took turns holding him until he cried himself to sleep. Then one of them would sleep in the room with him. In the morning it was like nothing happened. Reed never mentioned it and when they tried to talk to him about it he would leave the room or just refuse to answer. On the third morning they stopped asking, letting Reed deal with this however he needed to. During the day, Reed was fine. He and Tony worked on arranging his room the way he wanted it. The three of them had dinner in the evening and Gibbs was teaching Reed to work on the boat after that.
Friday morning, Gibbs walked into work carrying two coffees exhausted from to many nights without sleep. He sat down at his desk and was immediately surrounded by McGee, Ziva, Abby and Ducky.
"We want to know what's going on with Tony and you." Abby hands went to her hips. "We're worried about you, both of you."
Gibbs ran his hands over his face then stood up. "Office."
The four people followed him to the elevator. Once they stepped in and it started Gibbs hit the stop button. They received the slightly edited version of the story, just the highlights so they understood the situation.
"Why didn't you tell us we could have helped?" Ziva folded her arms across her chest.
"I'm telling you now."
"Can we come over?" Abby asked. "Meet Reed?"
"Not right now." Gibbs shook his head. "Once things calm down."
"Is there anything we can do?" Tim asked.
"No." Gibbs looked at Ducky. "I do need to talk to you."
"Of course." Ducky nodded.
The elevator stopped at Autopsy and Gibbs and Ducky stepped out.
"Back to work." Gibbs said as the doors closed.
"And what can I do for you Jethro?" Ducky asked as he sat down at his desk.
"Need your advice."
"On?"
"Reed." Gibbs sat down on the corner of the desk. "He's waking up, screaming for his parents."
"How long?"
"Last three nights." Gibbs sighed. "We hold him, listen, soothe him, whatever we can, then he falls asleep."
"In the morning?"
"Doesn't wanna talk about it. We've tried."
Ducky nodded. "And the rest of the time?"
"He's fine. Normal four year old." Gibbs took a deep breath. "I just want to know if we should be doing more or something else."
"What does your gut tell you?" Ducky smiled.
"That he has to deal with it his way and in his own time."
Ducky patted Gibbs knee. "And your gut would be right."
"Just doesn't seem like enough."
"Believe me to Reed it's everything." Ducky paused. "I do have a question?"
Gibbs folded his arms across his chest and waited.
"You're using the "we" word rather easily." Ducky stared at Gibbs.
"We are both there, what am I suppose to say?"
"You're helping to raise Reed?"
"Yeah." Gibbs shrugged. "At this point."
"And when Tony finds a house, they move out, then what?" Ducky asked.
Gibbs looked away for a moment. "Tony will take care of Reed."
"And Reed loses another parent figure all over again." Ducky raised his eyebrows. "You may understand that this is temporary and accept it, but as time goes by, Reed is going to grow more attached to both of you."
Gibbs sighed.
"And I suspect you will grow more attached to him." Ducky looked at Gibbs face. "Although you are already attached."
"Anything else?" Gibbs sounded annoyed.
"Tony needs to let him know that he's always going to be there for him. And you." Ducky nodded. "You need to let him know if you plan to be there for him when they are no longer living there."
"Of course I'll be there for him." Gibbs barked.
"You know that but he needs to know that."
"And his parents?"
"When he's ready he'll talk about it." Ducky sighed. "Probably small things at first. Then the big questions."
"Yeah." Gibbs walked towards the door. "Thanks Duck."
"Jethro wait."
Gibbs paused at the door and turned around.
"Have you thought about what you want?"
"Duck." Gibbs shook his head.
"Have you?" Ducky asked again.
"Doesn't matter what I want." Gibbs answered as he walked out the door.
#############################################################################
Walking in to the house Gibbs was surprised by the silence. Tony's car was in the drive so they
should be home. Gibbs stopped when he saw Tony sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.
"Everything okay?"
Tony jumped at the sound of Gibbs voice. "Um yeah."
"Reed okay?" Gibbs was now honestly concerned.
"He's fine." Tony forced a smile. "Playing in his room."
"Okay." Gibbs nodded. "Then what happened?"
"Mark called."
"And?"
"Child Protective services has to come for a visit before the courts approve my guardianship."
"That's not a problem." Gibbs shrugged. "Reed's happy here."
Tony nodded. "Yeah I know."
"What's the problem?"
"Um seems Gabby had-" Tony stood up and walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.
"Tony."
Stopping in front of the coffee pot, Tony turned around and leaned against the counter.
"Gabby said in the will that I was married."
"Married?" Gibbs was taken aback.
"Yeah."
"So doesn't matter, just tell the court and protective services you're not."
"There's more to it than that." Tony ran his hand over his forehead.
"What?" Gibbs narrowed his eyes.
Tony chuckled nervously. "Mark thought I was married too."
"To who?"
"You."
"ME!" Gibbs voice was almost a shout.
"Gabby had down that I was married to a man."
"What? Why would she th-" Gibbs stopped. Tony was gay or bi. "Tony I didn't realize."
"It's not-." Tony muttered. "I just-"
Tony's head fell back.
"I don't care about your sexuality and Protective Services doesn't care either."
"I know." Tony looked over at Gibbs. "It's just going to take time to work this out."
"What did Mark say?" Gibbs asked.
"He's looking into it."
"Well then we wait until we hear from him then go from there."
"Right." Tony blew out a breath. "I just don't wanna mess this up."
"You won't" Gibbs smiled leaning against the counter next to Tony. Then he chuckled. "It's kinda funny though."
"What is?"
"Your friends and Mark thinking we were married." Gibbs smirked.
"Yeah funny. Gabby always assuming things." There was the nervous chuckle again as Tony grabbed a mug and poured some coffee. "Want a cup?"
Gibbs shook his head as he looked at Tony, the pieces of the conversation suddenly falling into place.
"Tony?"
"What?" Tony went to walk into the living room.
Grabbing Tony's arm, Gibbs took the coffee cup from Tony's hand and set it on the counter.
"Gabby and David never met me." Gibbs stared at Tony.
"So" Tony shrugged trying to slough off the conversation he was afraid was coming.
"Did the will say you were married to a man? Or to me specifically?"
Tony didn't say anything which gave Gibbs the answer he needed.
"There's only one reason she would think-." Gibbs paused. "Tony look at me."
"I'm sorry. I told her and," Tony sighed. "She must have figured by the time anything happened to them, I'd have told you."
"Told me." Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "Told me what?"
Tony took a deep breath. "How I felt about you."
"And that we'd have gotten married." Gibbs shook his head.
Tony jerked his arm out of Gibbs grasp.
"I didn't think she'd-" Tony groaned. "but I can't do anything about it now. I can't believe she would do this!"
"Tony."
"No really what the hell was she thinking!" Tony's anger was growing. "I told her that in confidence."
"Tony can you-"
"I made it clear that you were straight and might be flattered but would never want me like I want-." Tony shook his head. "Damn it!"
"TONY!" Gibbs barked.
"What?"
"I don't care that Gabby made the assumption." Gibbs sighed. "I'm more interest in what you told her about your feelings for me."
Tony suddenly stared at the floor. "I didn't want you to-"
"Are you fighting?" Reed was standing in the kitchen doorway looking scared and hugging his bear.
"No we're not fighting." Gibbs took a deep breath.
"It sounds like you're fighting." Reed squeezed the bear tighter.
"We're just talking." Tony squatted down by Reed.
"You're yelling."
"We were just overly excited." Tony smiled. "You know how that can happen."
Reed nodded. "Are you sure you're not fighting."
"Positive." Tony nodded.
Reed looked over at Gibbs.
"Not fighting I promise."
"Then are we going to have supper?"
"What are you in the mood for?" Gibbs asked.
"Pizza." Reed chewed at his bottom lip. "If that's okay."
"My favorite." Tony said grabbing Reed and throwing him over his shoulder.
Reed finally laughed.
"Pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese!" Tony chanted. "Pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese."
"Pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese." Reed started repeating Tony's chant.
"Alright I get it." Gibbs chuckled and pulled out his phone. "I'm calling now."
Tony put Reed down.
"Go wash up." Tony looked at Reed.
"Okay." Reed grinned barreling towards the stairs.
"It's easy to forget that kids hear everything." Gibbs slipped his phone back in his pocket.
"Sorry." Tony sighed.
"My fault." Gibbs rubbed his forehead. "I was the one that raised my voice."
"You were upset with good reason." Tony tried to hide the pain in his voice. "I never meant for you to find out, especially not like this."
"Tony." Gibbs stepped forward. "We need to talk about this, but not now, when we won't be interrupted."
Tony nodded.
"I'll grab some money for the pizza." Gibbs said going to walk passed Tony.
"Gibbs." Tony touched Gibbs arm.
"Jethro. Remember." Gibbs stopped looking at Tony.
"I never wanted to put you in this position." Tony sighed. "I shouldn't have agreed to move in here. Not with how I feel."
"Tony it's-"
"Let me finish." Tony interrupted. "I never want to lose our friendship and I would never overstep the bounds of that friendship."
"I know that." Gibbs nodded.
"And I know that everything you're doing for me is out of friendship, nothing more." Tony forced a smile. "I know there can never be anything more between us and I completely accept that."
No response.
"I'll understand if this makes you uncomfortable and if you want me to leave. We can go to my apartment."
"No!" The word came out harsher and more intense than he intended. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm his heart beat. "I want you to stay. Please."
"But if that changes-"
"I want you both here as long as you need and want to be here. Understood?"
Tony nodded.
"I mean it." Gibbs stressed the point.
###########################################################################
"I still can't believe you can eat so much pizza" Tony slumped back on the couch.
"You ate six pieces!" Reed laughed. "I only had three!"
"I know but I'm like a zillon times bigger than you." Tony groaned.
"Jethro only had two." Reed grinned at Gibbs. "Even I eat more than you."
"That's because you are still growing up." Gibbs smirked. "If I ate like you I'd grow out." Gibbs pushed out his stomach
Reed giggled. "Then what about Tony?"
"Are you calling me fat?" Tony started tickling Reed.
"No." Reed giggled. "You're not fat. You're just right."
Gibbs smiled watching Tony and Reed.
"Go get ready for bed." Tony said as he put Reed down.
"Okay." Reed stopped in front of Gibbs. "Can you read to me again tonight?"
"Sure." Gibbs nodded.
"What about me?" Tony looked offended.
Reed rolled his eyes. "You don't like to read and he does the voices better."
Tony's mouth dropped open.
"Go." Gibbs nodded towards the stairs.
"I need to work on my voices." Tony shook his head.
"Takes practice." Gibbs grinned.
"How can I get practice when he wants you to read to him?" Tony chuckled.
"Eventually you'll lea-" Gibbs let the sentence fall.
Tony knew how the sentence was going to end and he tried not to think about it.
"I'm ready." Reed bounced into the living room and onto the couch between Tony and Gibbs.
"If you're ready why are you down here?" Gibbs glared at him.
"To say good night." Reed grinned.
In less than a week Reed had already started to learn Gibbs' different glares. The serious ones and the joking ones.
"Then say goodnight." Gibbs picked Reed up and tossed him at Tony.
"Night Tony." Reed gave Tony a quick hug.
"Night." Tony hugged him back then tossed him back to Gibbs.
"What am I a basketball?" Reed giggled.
"Yeah." Gibbs said taking Reed by the ankles and standing up. "Maybe I should try and dribble you."
Gibbs acted as if he was dribbling Reed on his head. After a couple times he turned Reed right side up and took him upstairs.
############################################################################
Coming out of the room, Gibbs pulled the door only part way shut. Seeing movement in the other bedroom Gibbs walked over and leaned against the doorway. Tony was standing in his boxers pulling a t-shirt over his head. Sensing he was being watched he turned around his eyes locking with Gibbs.
"He's asleep already?"
Gibbs nodded. "Only got through two pages."
"We played hard today." Tony grinned.
"You're never gonna want to go back to work." Gibbs smirked.
"I think work is easier."
Gibbs laughed. "It is. Although now you have to put up with me 24/7."
Tony nodded afraid if he spoke he'd say something he'd regret.
"How long?" Gibbs asked needing answers.
"Does it matter?" Tony sighed dropping down on the edge of the bed.
"It does to me."
Tony ran his hands over his face. "Years."
"And you told Gabby how you felt?"
"Yeah. I needed to talk to someone about it. It was-" Tony shook his head. "It was eating away at me and I couldn't take it anymore. She was someone that wouldn't judge me, would just listen and be there. Plus she didn't know you."
"You told her you were going to tell me though?"
"She wanted me to tell you. Said if you love someone you should always tell them because-"
"You never know when they won't be there to tell." Gibbs finished the saying having heard it from Reed.
"Yeah." Tony looked at Gibbs puzzled.
"Reed told me."
"I was never going to tell you." Tony took a deep breath. "I just said that to appease her. Evidently she really did believe I would pour out my heart to you."
"And marry me." Gibbs added.
Tony let out a nervous chuckle. "Ramblings that I expressed to Gabby. Nothing more."
"You never would have told me?" Gibbs sighed.
Looking directly at him Tony shook his head. "No."
"Why?"
"Why?" Tony laughed. "Rule twelve, you don't love me, you can't love me, and I didn't want to lose you."
"You could never lose me." Gibbs involuntarily moved into the room and sat down next to Tony on the bed. "Never."
"Right." Tony stood up and walked over leaning against the dresser, unable to be that close to Gibbs as he continued.
"And I shouldn't have agreed to move in here." Tony let out a long breath. "It's um, too much temptation, to easy to believe it's all real. That we're some happy family, when we're not."
Gibbs stared at the floor wanting to say so much but fear choked the words from his lips.
"I thought the cot would help, not sharing a bed, not being that close to you." Tony swallowed the emotion. "But it doesn't. I want you to much."
"Is that all it is? Want." Gibbs eye refocused on Tony. "Sex. Some quick fantasy fulfillment?"
"No, God no." Tony sighed.
"What then?"
"I love you." The words spilled from Tony's lips without his consent. "That night in the hotel, when you held me. I've never felt so happy, safe, and so at peace. I want that but I know you don't."
Gibbs stood up and ran his hands through his hair.
"But it's okay." Tony walked over and took Gibbs hand, then forced a smile as their eyes met. "It's just hard right now in this situation."
Gibbs nodded.
"I'll work through it." Tony cleared his throat. "And I need to work quickly on getting a house."
"No." Gibbs shook his head. "I want you here."
"Gibbs I can't-"
"Damn it." Gibbs dropped his head back. Open your damn mouth he told himself, say what you need and want to say. Don't let everything you want walk away. He told himself.
"What's wrong?" Tony's concern and confusion clear in his voice.
Gibbs pulled his hand from Tony's. "Nothing."
"I understand if you're upset."
"I'm not upset." Gibbs rubbed his forehead. "Really."
"You look upset." Tony chuckled.
"No." Gibbs smiled. "Believe me. I'm in no way upset."
"I told you before." Tony sighed. "I would never cross that line."
"Yeah I remember." Gibbs nodded. God he wished Tony would because it would make all this so much easier.
"I'm going to sleep in Reed's room." Tony grabbed the cot.
"You don't have to." Gibbs touched Tony's forearm.
Glancing up at Gibbs, Tony forced a smile. "Yes I do."
Pulling his hand away, Gibbs nodded.
"MOMMY!"
The scream made both of them, run out the door and towards Reed's room. In seconds Tony had Reed in his arms and was speaking soothingly to the boy. Reed clutched at Tony's chest crying into his t-shirt. For some reason, Gibbs stayed back, standing in the doorway, watching the scene before him.
"Can you grab the cot?" Tony asked quietly looking up at Gibbs.
Without an answer Gibbs disappeared for a moment and came back with the cot placing it next to Reed's bed.
"Thanks."
Gibbs nodded sitting down on the cot waiting until the crying faded into little sniffles and finally silence. Tony shifted to lay Reed down.
"Will you sleep here?" Reed asked his eyes heavy.
"Yeah I'll be right there on the cot."
"Stay here." Reed said as he continued to cling to Tony.
"Sure." Tony lay down on the bed keeping Reed wrapped in his arms.
Gibbs stood up.
"Don't go." Reed looked up at Gibbs. "Please."
Nodding Gibbs sat back down on the cot. Glancing over Gibbs' eyes met Tony's. The normally shimmering green eyes fill with sadness. Sadness that Gibbs knew he was partly responsible for. He lay down on the cot, put his arm under his head and stared at the ceiling.