Kabuki
By hye-kyo
Disclaimer: No, Rurouni Kenshin and all its characters are not mine.
Author's Notes: Turns out the story needs a bit more. Thanks to all those who reviewed and read. Kenshin's going to do something self-redeeming don't worry. One more and this is complete.
Read and review!
The incident did not change things much though.
He was expecting some kind of tension in the dojo. Apart from the sudden pregnant pauses when conversations begin to tread dangerous grounds, everything was perfectly normal. She was perfectly normal with everyone. Even with him.
Sano said he should be happy, at least Kaoru did not break his ribs or something similar to that effect; even the thought made him wince, that would be better still. Sano said it should not let him bother him; it was just one of those silly things that Kaoru usually does—a couple more days and she will soon forget it, like Tanabata. He believes he should be, not that he was relieved knowing she was not going to throw him out, he has more pride than that (but oh well, yes, with the very small pay he receives from Saito of course he is slightly relieved having a place to stay for free and that is aside the fact that he sees living with her a means of seeing her everyday).
But anyway, what was bothering him was the fact that nothing has changed though he knew something should. He has this nagging feeling that something was happening behind this 'facade of seemingly peaceful return to the status quo'. At least he ought to receive a broken nose or something, a cold shoulder even, a glare, some harsh words. But there was nothing. Not even a single thing.
At the outset, nothing seemed to have changed. Yahiko did not notice anything out of place. No funny, weird conversations during breakfast. Even the pregnant pauses became shorter and shorter until they were back to the old routine as days passed. The nagging, almost chilling feeling that he had, started to grow, until he realized that whatever had started happening behind the 'facade of seemingly peaceful return to the status quo' had grown to fit perfectly into the status quo such that nobody noticed it, not even him in the beginning. It was only when he felt this heaviness in his heart that he realized that something, something utterly dreadful, had changed.
''''
He wanted to test his theory. Aoshi and Misao had arrived from Aoiya the other day. Kaoru seemed to have lit up with Misao around. Breakfast was always noisy and with it being noisy, no one seemed to notice how Kaoru does not let him pour her tea anymore.
Not that it was conclusive evidence already. He started keeping a journal, no, it is more a tally sheet than a journal. He had never thought he could be using what arithmetic he learned from his shishou in this way. With his actions as constant, he kept track of how she responded on every event, question, statement, action he posed and tried to remember how she had responded to a similar action in the period before the incident.
So far he was getting bad results. Into the second week of his experiment, he realized something drastic has taken place. Some of the things he had noticed he listed, tested them thrice and those things that have bad results he listed in a separate sheet. He would test this for a couple more days and then he would ask her. So far, he had listed the top five things that had drastically changed.
''''
One. On one occasion while they were having their breakfast, he noticed that her cup was empty. Immediately he picked up the teapot, still warm in his hands. He looked at her, waited until she stopped talking to Misao, looked at her half-empty bowl of rice and, noting that she isn't finished eating yet, asked, "Would you like some more tea Kaoru-dono?"
She met his gaze, this he timed, for three seconds, until she said, "No thank you," and pursed her lips. Of course no one but him noticed this.
Half a minute later, just as Misao broke into a laughter, Kaoru picked the teapot up, poured herself a cup and set it down. Her eyes roamed the table briefly, when she noticed no one was watching she slowly let out a breath and resumed talking to Misao. This, Kenshin, recorded in his tally sheet.
''''
Two. He made an effort to cook her favourite meals everyday. On that particular day that he made a special tofu dish, one that she said she liked very much when he first made it, he was excessively nervous. He sat down, watched as Sano and Yahiko started heaping rice on their already-filled bowls; Kenshin fills them even before they arrive. Misao and Aoshi walked in and sat down. The room was suddenly noisy with Yahiko and Misao bickering.
A minute later Kaoru came. He watched from under his bangs how she took in a deep breath, sat down and painted a smile on her face just before Misao turned to her to talk. Misao received a bowl of rice from Kenshin, Aoshi did as well. When Kenshin filled a bowl for Kaoru and handed it to her, all she did was murmur a "Thanks" and turned fully towards Misao. Kenshin watched her intently as he placed the bowl before her.
"You said before that you liked this tofu dish Kaoru-dono," he suddenly said, which visibly startled her. Misao had by then gushed already at the dish. Aoshi nodded approvingly while Sano and Yahiko were lost in their own worlds.
"Yes," and she took some bits in her mouth and he waited for her to speak again but Misao had started talking to her again.
As lunch drew to an end he noticed how her bowl was still almost full.
''''
Three. Misao and Aoshi left by the middle of the month. He thought he could better study her now during meals since Misao was gone.
He remembered her liking a bean sprout soup he had put together sometime before the incident. Though he knew he was making a mental list of all the things she liked even from their meeting, he was surprised at himself for remembering even the littlest comments she made. The first time she tasted the soup, she said it would be great if they have some meat at that time instead of fish. He felt himself a genius as he put together that particular meal.
As Yahiko and Sano started stuffing their faces with food she came. He watched her openly this time, and noted the forced smile on her face.
"Let's eat now Kaoru-dono," he said with a smile though his heart was palpitating wildly in his chest.
"Kenshin's outdone himself this time Busu," Yahiko chimed in. Sano could only make wordless noises.
"I would love to," even if Kaoru was becoming a good liar, Kenshin could detect the forced excitement in her voice, "But I need to get to Maekawa dojo right now. Just save some for me Kenshin."
Normally, in that scenario, Kaoru would scold Yahiko and Sano before leaving, and would look at Kenshin as she straightens her kimono, a shy smile on her lips, her eyes bright, her cheeks flushed. At that particular moment though, after scolding Yahiko and Sano, Kenshin thinks it was for show, because it was expected of her, she straightened her kimono and without even looking at him, she left.
''''
Four. Doing laundry is something that he, surprisingly, looks forward to. Especially doing Kaoru's laundry. There was something intimate about the whole idea. Every end of the week he would collect laundry from Yahiko and Kaoru, clothes and beddings, towels and all washable items not considered as clothing, sort those that they personally use and not, sort whites from the colored ones. On the first day of the week he would wash Kaoru's white clothes, if he still has time he'd wash the colored ones. If not, those he did the following day. Then Yahiko's in the same manner, then his, and then the beddings and towels and finally all the other washable items. He would be done by the end of the week, in which a new batch is ready for washing.
When he knocked on the shoji of Kaoru's room to collect laundry it immediately opened. What she would usually do in that instance is to first, smile brightly at Kenshin, second feign having forgotten that it is wash day, then joke at how much Kenshin liked doing laundry and would he consider getting a part-time job at Saito's (Tokio gave birth and should not do laundry until she recovers), comment on how long his hair has become and would he allow her to cut it (at this point, he was already helping her clean up her room) and she would suggest a day when they could have the haircut at which he'd smilingly agree, and she would giggle. By that time the laundry would be all in his arms. And she would blush and look away as he steps out from the room. She would ask if it is alright with him and would he not need any help at which point he would just smile and say "This one would take care of your laundry Kaoru-dono, no need to worry" and he would force himself not to pinch her cute little nose.
That time however, when she opened the shoji and he asked for the laundry, all she said was, "Oh don't worry, I have taken care of my laundry already." And though the smile was there it was less bright than usual. Immediately she closed the shoji.
''''
Five. After practicing her kata, it was imperative that she take a bath. That being the case, he had made it a point to prepare her bath as soon he sees her nearing the last steps of her kata. As soon as she was done she would sit on the engawa to take some rest. Kenshin would be done preparing her bath by then and he would sit on the engawa beside her, watch her as she wipes sweat from her forehead and he would initiate a little conversation as he waits for the water to settle into a nice temperature.
They would talk about the new things he found in the market, what kabuki play is showing, how Tokio is doing, how part-timing for the police is coming together, what is for dinner among others. He loved that they could talk about anything else. He would notice a bead of sweat on her temple and he would motion for it. She would look at him incredulously. Smiling, he would get the towel from her and wipe the sweat on her forehead himself. She would blush immediately and would scurry to the bathhouse, saying how her water is getting cold already. He would only laugh.
That day, a couple of weeks after the incident, his chance came (she was doing her kata so early in the morning now, when he would go to the market to buy food for the day). He heard her calling Yahiko to help her prepare her bath.
"Ask Kenshin, you always ask him, why me?" though Kenshin wanted to teach the boy a lesson or two in obedience he could not help but think himself lucky for having Yahiko act all bratty.
"No Yahiko," was all she could say, her fists were balled into her sides and she was glaring at the boy.
"Just call Kenshin," that was the exact time he decided to show himself.
"This one will do it Kaoru-dono," he said, smiling. Yahiko had by then skipped merrily away.
Kaoru, surprisingly, looked away and said, "No I'll do it."
"But I do it everytime," he knew he said it too early in the conversation, he was thinking that he would insist some more first and then if she does not give in that was when he would tell her how different now has become.
She stopped, her lips pursed, she took in a deep breath, and whispered, "You don't have to do it anymore."
And she walked away.
''''
"So you see," he said, "She had changed."
"Well, yer theory seems grounded." Sano took a gulp from his sake cup.
"Grounded? Just grounded? It's not even a theory anymore. I'm stating facts here Sano," Kenshin sighed. "Kaoru-dono hates this one."
"Of course," Sano said, clearing his throat. Kenshin's restlessness, with all the things going through his head, was getting to him so he decided to bring the redhead over to a pub to drink to calm his nerves.
"But you said nothing has changed."
"Nothing has. I said that. But I ain't said she doesn't hate you."
Kenshin slowly turned to glare at him, "Does she? What do you think?"
Sano tried not to roll his eyes but he couldn't stop himself so he did. "We both know that Jou-chan ain't the type of girl who'd get mad at someone for a long time. It ain't in her character to hold grudges, she is just innocent like that. Good-natured. She probably was annoyed at you but she doesn't hate you. I think. But I dunno. This time maybe she could hate someone. You perhaps. I mean you no one else."
Kenshin took a deep breath, exasperated, he thought of rolling his eyes, but that would be so out of character, "What should I do?"
"I dunno. I'm not really an expert on apologizing ya know." Sano rolled his eyes for the second time. It was becoming an eye-rolling contest. He took another swig, emptying his cup. He poured himself another.
"Should I propose to her?" Kenshin took a sip, shook his head and put the cup down. He doesn't want to drink, he needed to be clear-headed for this one.
"I dunno either. I think you should know the answer to that one."
''''
To say that he got nothing out of his conversation with Sano was an understatement. The only thing he could remember was how much he had to stay true to his character and not roll his eyes, and not punch Sano in the face. Of course it was not Sano's fault. He knew that. Everyone knew that. And it was his. But what makes him angry is the fact that no one tells him directly that it was his fault. His entire fault. Everyone's acting as if nothing happened, but when he asks all they want to do is to roll their eyes, look at him in that way that seems to say how insensitive he is for not understanding what Kaoru is feeling, what his actions caused Kaoru to feel.
Alright, he might be overacting a bit.