Chapter Three:
Wholeness

LILLY

When Miley told me about John cheating on me, I couldn't believe the words that had come out of her mouth. Now, it was happening all over again.

"Lilly, I'm in love with you!"

The sentence played over and over and over again in my head. I could see Miley's face: troubled, scared. I wish I could go back and see how I looked when she said those words, those words that I'd never heard before.

I'd stumbled a lot on my way home, and at one point I'd actually fallen face first and laid there, crying. I thought about how John had never actually said "I love you." Every time I would say it, he would look away and say, "Me, too."

And now, Miley had said it. She was the last person I'd ever expected to say that.

I paced around my room, my cell phone burning a hole in my hand. Should I call Miley? Should I not mention it? Should I act like everything hadn't changed and I might never be able to look at her the same ever again?

What should I do?

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was dialing a number on my phone and hearing a voice I knew so well on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Oh my God, Oliver!" I yelled.

He laughed. "She told you?"

I nodded, then realized he couldn't see me nodding, so I said, "Yeah. I'm freaking out, Oliver. I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say." He didn't respond. "Oliver? You there?"

"Yeah. Thinking. Lilly…how do you feel about her?"

And there it was: the question I'd been avoiding ever since Miley had said what she'd said. How did I feel about Miley? I loved her, but was I in love with her? I'd thought about kissing her, about hugging her tighter than I'd need to.

"What if we go out and we break up? I can't stand to lose Miley. I need her, Oliver. I…I…" I trailed off.

"You love her," he said simply.

"Yes. I…I don't know. It's Miley."

"Exactly! It's Miley! Who's going to treat you better than your best friend?"

"Okay…thanks, Oliver. I'm…gonna go think."

"Okay. Bye, Lilly. Good luck."

Good luck. Like I was about to go get an operation done or I was about to take a test. Not like I was about to decide my future concerning me and my best friend ever.

I didn't know what to do. If I said no to Miley, I would probably never talk to her ever again. If I said yes, I had no clue what would happen. If I said yes and we broke up, I would probably never talk to her ever again!

"This sucks," I said out loud.

I thought about Miley. Miley, with her long brown hair, flowing down her back in naturally beachy waves. Miley, with her twinkling blue-green eyes. Miley, beautiful Miley.

Miley, my best friend.

Miley…

Who's going to treat you better than your best friend?

!

MILEY

I moped around the house, still in my pajamas.

"Bud, you all right?" my dad asked me as I chewed on my cereal sadly.

I was most certainly not all right. It had been two days since I'd told Lilly I was in love with her and all I could do for the last forty-eight hours was sit around the house, cry, or eat cereal. I was chock full of tears, sadness, and Count Chocula. But I wasn't going to tell my dad that.

"I'm fine, Daddy," I said, mustering up a smile for him.

I pushed my bowl aside and laid my head down, like I had always done in preschool when I was upset.

"Are you getting sick?" he put a hand on my forehead.

"Maybe," I mumbled.

The doorbell rang. My heart skipped a beat as I thought of whom it could be, but I told myself not to be silly.

"Don't get your hopes up, Miley," I said into my arm.

"It's Lilly," my dad said. He sounded so far away, even though he wasn't even ten feet from me.

My heart stopped and then started beating like I had just run a marathon. "O-okay," I said, getting up and putting my cereal bowl in the sink. I picked some lint off my shirt. I took my slippers off and carefully arranged them in the corner.

Anything to avoid it.

But then I saw her, standing there in all her Lilly-ness. Her hair down and straight, dressed in denim shorts and a simple pink tank top. There was a little braid by her ear; sloppy but cute. She probably did it when she was walking over here.

"Hi," I said, standing right in front of her.

"Hi," she said. "Could we, um, go for a walk?"

I nodded and stepped out. "Dad, me and Lilly are going for a walk!" I closed the door behind me and shoved flip flops onto my feet.

We walked in strained silence for a while. "So, what's up?" I finally said.

"Been thinking," she replied, kicking a rock.

"About…what?" I asked the question hesitantly, already knowing the answer.

"Us…"

A small, "Oh," made its way out of my mouth. She didn't say anything else, so I asked, "What…about…us?"

She stopped walking suddenly. "Miley, I--!" I waited for her to go on, knowing that she would. "I…I…love you, Miley. Of course I love you! You're my best friend! And…I've thought about us…being more than…friends…but…I never thought of doing anything about it…"

"I'm sorry for putting all of this on you, Lilly! I…I don't want you to feel obligated--!"

"Miley, don't apologize! Me and you…we…we would…look good…together," she fumbled, looking away and blushing, something I had never seen her do.

I took her hand gingerly, rubbing her fingers when she didn't resist. "O…okay. But if it ever gets to be too much, tell me. Okay?"

She nodded and looked at me. She took a step towards me and smiled at me for the first time in days.

!

"Fuck. Took you guys long enough," Oliver said when we showed up at his house, standing close and blushing.

"Shut up," I murmured. "Come to my house; we were about to watch a movie."

"Um…okay. Let's go," he said.

We walked in comfortable silence to my house.

"So, what do you guys wanna watch?" I asked them, waiting for the two to sit on the couch; they usually treated my house like their own. "Um…sit?"

Oliver sat down at the end of the couch and sank into the cushions. Lilly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, looking down at the floor.

"Lilly…you can sit, you know," I said nervously, wondering if she was just going to bolt from my house and never talk to me again.

Oliver turned around to face us and shook his head.

"What?" Lilly snapped.

He smiled. "Lilly, come on. It's Miley's house; stop acting so weird. You're probably here more than your own house."

Lilly groaned and sat on the other end of the couch.

I smiled and said, "I'll just go get a movie."

I popped in an old comedy we all loved and settled down between Lilly and Oliver on the couch. "Oh! Are you guys hungry? Thirsty?"

"Sprite," Lilly answered, probably without even thinking; it was her usual answer. She blushed and quickly added, "Please!"

I turned to Oliver. "How about some cheddar popcorn, a ham sandwich, and a root beer float?" he said, giving me a toothy grin.

"How about potato chips and Pepsi?" I answered dryly.

I didn't wait for his answer. I got them their stuff, all the while sneaking glances at Lilly, who was picking at a thread on the arm of the couch.

I came up behind and whispered, "Boo," into her ear, trying to cheer her up. She jumped a little and turned to me, smiling softly.

"Boo," she repeated.

I looked at her face; her pink lips were just so inviting, now more than ever. I was just going to brush my mouth over hers until Oliver cleared his throat and said, "Miley? Dying here."

I threw the bag of chips at him and gritted my teeth. I saw Lilly throw him a glare.

I took my spot on the couch again and started the movie. Lilly scooted closer to me and leaned into me awkwardly but comfortably. I smile and rested my head on hers.

Oliver looked over at us and raised an eyebrow, smirking. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Watch the movie."

"I like this show better."

"Why did we invite him?" Lilly murmured.

"I heard that."

"Good!"

I laughed; Lilly was finally relaxing and becoming herself.

!

It had been two weeks since me and Lilly had started…I didn't even really know what to call it. Not going out, because it's not like we were really public with the whole thing. Oliver and Jackson were the only ones who knew. Maybe more-than-friend-ing. I laughed to myself as I thought it over one day after Lilly, Oliver, and I had gone to the movies.

My phone rang and I quickly checked the screen before answering. Jackson. "Hey, J," I said cheerily.

"You sound happy," he said.

"I am!"

He laughed. "Good. That's really good. How are you and Lilly?"

I smiled tenderly. "Amazing, I think. She's the best…everything I could've ever asked for. Oh! What about you? You got any ladies?"

He was quiet for a second before finally saying, "I don't wanna jinx it or anything…but I really like this girl and I think she really likes me."

"Yay! I hope it works out for you!"

"Me, too, Miles. Hey, I gotta get to class. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Jackson!" I hung up and flopped back onto my bed, the covers ruffling around me. A smile was on my face and everything in my body felt electric, like my nerve endings were super charged. Everything was so right, I realized. Everything was beautiful and perfect and amazing.

I jumped off my bed and almost flew down the stairs. I couldn't control myself. My body was just moving itself, my mind struggling to keep up.

"Bud? Where's the fire?" my dad chuckled from the couch as I shoved my shoes on.

"Oh, just going to see Lilly! Lots of energy!" I waved and ran out of the door, running and running all the way to Lilly's house. Lilly was outside, tying her shoes, when I tripped over a crack and crashed my way to her, ending up on my butt, sitting right in front of her.

She bit her lip, trying to keep her laugh in. "What are you doing, silly?" She finally cracked up, leaning towards me.

I took a deep breath. "I don't even know. I just wanted to see you."

"I was on my way over," she said, smiling.

And then I leaned in and closed the space between us and I finally kissed Lilly Trescott for the first time and I felt warmth run through me as she kissed me back and everything came together and finally, finally, finally life was everything that I had always wanted to it to be.

I pulled away slowly, wanting to see Lilly's reaction, wanting to see if I should apologize. She was smiling gently, a flush coating her cheeks. She leaned in and kissed me again. The feeling of wholeness came with the kiss and I never, ever wanted that feeling to go away.

Everything was perfect when I was with Lilly. And as she looked at me and smiled and her beautiful blue eyes crinkled at the edges and her cheeks turned pink, I could almost forget that I was a girl and she was a girl. I could almost tell myself that all people would see were two people that loved each other.

Almost.

!

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Ah, fluff! There will be more of it in the next few chapters! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

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