Chapter Six:

Because I Love You

MILEY

He looked me straight in the eyes. "I know why Lilly broke up with you. Why she reallybroke up with you."

"You do?" I gasped and leaned towards him. "W-why?"

"John."

The word was an anvil colliding with my skull, a train crashing into my body, a sword piercing through my lungs, a flame engulfing every inch of my skin. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run to Lilly's and spit in her face, grab John by his stupid hair and smash his face into the wall. But, underneath the anger and shock, I was hurt. I never thought she would do this to me. My best friend, my girlfriend, my love. Betraying me in the worst way.

"How…how do you k-know?" I finally managed to spit out, staring hollowly at Oliver.

"I went over to Lilly's to ask her what happened, and John pulled up and it was just so obvious."

"I should hate him…and her. I just…"

"You just what, Miles?" he asked gently.

"I can't."

"Can't?"

"I can't hate either of them. I envy him. And I still love her, I still love her with everything I have."

"I know you do," he murmured, scooting closer to me and putting his arms around me. My head fell onto his shoulders and I fell into a deep, depressed sleep.

LILLY

"To the beach!" I squealed excitedly as John stepped into my living room.

"I thought you didn't want us to be out in public together," he said, giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

"I…I realized that wasn't fair to you, or us!"

He pulled me into himself and started kissing my neck. "I don't know, Lilly. It's so hot outside."

"But the water will cool us off!"

"Mhm." He nibbled on my neck, his hands moving down my back.

"I…beach," I whispered with little conviction. "I'm already in my swimsuit, John."

He looked at me and smirked. "That's okay with me," he said coyly, snapping the band on my bottoms.

I giggled and he picked me up bridal style, carrying me over to the couch, showering me with butterfly soft kisses. He set me down and set himself on top of me, pressing his torso against mine. I bit my lip as his hands inched ever lower on my body. He stopped when I flinched away from him. "What, Lilly?" he breathed, his lips on my shoulders.

"I…uh…I don't know."

"Do you want this?"

I thought for a second. If he didn't get it from me, he could get it from another girl. I wanted to be with him, I wanted him to want me. "Yes, yes I do."

…

MILEY

I couldn't mope forever. But I sure as hell wanted to.

"Dad, I want to do a Hannah thing," I said, leaning across the kitchen counter to grab another waffle.

"Are you sure you're ready for it, Honey?"

I nodded. "I want to do something."

"Okay. I'll set something up."

"Thanks, Daddy," I replied, doing my best to smile.

"So…I don't really want to ask but…"

"I've talked to her. She's okay."

He simply nodded and reached into the fridge for some milk. I hadn't told him that Lilly had left me for John, just that we'd broken up. I didn't want him to feel any kind of resentment for her. I sighed, wishing I could feel something other than hurt, and hopped off the chair. "I'm gonna go take a walk."

I avoided the beach, avoided crowds, opting instead for a walk in the light forest around the house. I heard a whimpering somewhere in the trees. I stopped walking, trying to identify the sound. It didn't sound like an animal. I slowly stepped forward, accidentally stepping on a branch. The whimpering stopped and I took a few more steps.

A shock of blonde hair met my eyes and I stepped back, almost falling backwards. She turned and looked at me, her eyes big and beautiful and blue blue blue, deeper than the bottom of the ocean blue, made even clearer by the red puffiness all around them. She quickly stood up and blurted out, "M-Miley!"

My mouth opened, but no words came out. Her hands were in fists at her sides and her hair was a tangled mess. Her lips were puffy and had turned a deep red. She only looked like this when she'd been crying. A lot.

"W-w-what are y-you doing here?" she stammered, rubbing her elbows nervously.

"Walking," I answered softly. "I…what…what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing!" she replied automatically. She stepped back rapidly, her heels leaving light footprints in the soft, sandy dirt.

I walked towards and a lump fell into my throat as I realized that I could reach out and touch her arm, grab her hand, pull her towards me and hold her in my arms again. "Lilly." Her name was a whisper on my lips, two syllables that changed when directed to her, that became a beckoning, a plea, a call to the past when things were easier.

I opened my arms.

And she ran into them.

LILLY

It was Miley and she smelled like Miley and she felt like Miley and it was beautiful, it was familiar, it was loving, but most of all, it was safe. I ran into her arms like a child, held onto her like a starfish clinging onto a rock, and cried. She sat down on the log I'd been on and I ended up sitting on her lap, my arms around her neck, my eyes nuzzled into it.

I could tell she was somewhat stiff, guarded. She shouldn't even have been here. She should have left as soon as she saw me, should've laughed in my face as soon as she saw that I was crying. But that wasn't Miley, not at all.

We'd been sitting like that for a while, me crying, she stroking my hair and making sure I was comfortable. I spoke first. "Why are you here?"

"Because I love you." Her voice was soft and sad. I didn't know what to say to that and I was grateful when she finally asked, "Why are you crying?"

I couldn't answer right away; the answer to the question made me hide in her neck again, gripping the back of her shirt.

"Miley, I…" I shook my head. I couldn't say it.

"Lilly," she said softly, kissing the top of my head like she would've done as my best friend.

I need her. I need her so much in so many ways.

The words came out thick, like my throat was coated in molasses. "I…I think I'm pregnant."

I expected Miley to let go of me, to show any kind of anger towards me. But it was even worse when I felt her grip tighten, saw her eyes close, and felt tears fall out of her eyes, her shoulders shaking with sobs that only I was to blame for.