A/N: Okay first, sorry for not updating. I've been sick, and then there's school, and softball. And I'm just pure lazy.
Second, future chapters will be more, graphic. Mature? Whatever you want to say.
Third, in the last chapter when I said 'months passed' I meant months passed. As in, at this point Caitlin and Spencer have been dating for nearly a year.
Alright, enjoy!
Spencer unlocked the door to Caitlin's apartment, slipped off his jacket and shoes, and put his bag down on the couch.
"Caitlin?" He called.
"Bedroom." Her voice called, leading him to her location.
She was laying on her bed petting her cat. Her hair was thrown up in pig-tails, she was wearing shorts, and tall socks. He noticed the sweatshirt she was wearing. The orange letters on it read Cal-Tech. He smiled.
"Is that my sweatshirt?" He asked while crawling above her. She turned her body so that she was directly under him.
She nodded.
"How'd you get it?"
"I took it the last time I was at your house." She said grinning. He kissed her nose.
"Any particular reason you did that?"
"I was cold. And it was just sitting there, all alone." She told him giggling.
"What if I want it back?" He challenged.
"It was gone for two weeks and you didn't notice. You probably wouldn't have known if I hadn't been wearing it! Fuck you! I'm keeping it." She folded her arms across her chest stubbornly. Spencer laughed before kissing her lips gently.
He laid down next to her. "Silly." He mumbled causing her to smile. She cuddled into him.
"How have you been?" She asked. Spencer didn't want to go into details about the case he just got off of. He didn't want to tell her anything about his job. She was so innocent. She didn't need to know the terrible things that happened in the world. He wasn't going to be that one to let her see that darkness.
"Fine." He answered simply.
She sighed. "So much for conversation…"
"How have you been?"
"Fine." She answered just as he did.
"That's not fair." He told her, seeing the game she was playing.
"You never talk about work. I just want to know why." She asked innocently, not meeting his eyes.
"What I do, isn't really….. a job you go around talking about. I don't see happy things. And telling you about those things would be, well…..sick." He said, making a face.
"Awww Spencer's protective and caring!" She said in a baby voice while pinching his cheeks.
He laughed before pushing her hands away from him. "Stop." He told her smiling. He leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. They laid there for a few moments of comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company.
"You know what's in two days?" She asked him, breaking the silence.
"Thursday." He answered simply, but the look on her face signaled it was something more.
"Maybe November 16th rings a bell…." She offered.
He thought about it, trying to think. It wasn't her birthday. That was in September, and had passed.
"Can I have a hint?" He asked her.
"Thursday would be our one year anniversary silly." She told him. Panic spread through him. He mentally cursed himself for not remembering something like that.
"Relax!" She told him, sensing his panic. "I don't want to do anything. I just thought I'd let you know." She told him kissing his cheek.
"Of course we have to do something. A year's something to celebrate." He protested.
"It's just a year." She told him flatly.
"We're going to celebrate." He told her stubbornly.
"Fine. We can stay here and eat ice cream. That's as close to celebrating as you'll get." She told him.
Caitlin leaned over and kissed him for a few long moments.
"Doesn't feel it's been a year."
He nodded in agreement.
"I love you, Caitlin." He told her, her blue eyes staring into his.
"I love you too, Spencer. I really, really do." She told him before kissing him. She pulled away to find him frowning.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"You could be with any guy you wanted to, and you're with me. Why is that?" He asked her, confused. He hadn't meant to say it, but he just blurted it out.
"What do you mean I could be with any guy?"
"You're beautiful, and amazing. You're smart, funny, nice, creative, loving, caring, trusting, just all around perfect, anyone guy would love to have you. And I'm just….. plain." He finished.
He looked down at her, tears filled her eyes.
"Spencer, don't say that."
"It's true."
"No it's not. Why can't you see how amazing you are." She said frustrated.
"Spencer, what you see as, "plain" I see as amazing. You mean the world to me. And if I didn't believe with all my heart that you were amazing I wouldn't be here with you, now would I?"
"You'd be with some other guy."
"No I wouldn't." She looked up at the ceiling, emotions crossing her face. She was thinking.
"Spencer, I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to tell you this, but here goes nothing." She took a deep breath and turned to him, staring him in the eyes.
"The day I met you was the day I was going to kill myself." The words slammed into him like bricks.
"Wh-" His question was cut off by Caitlin's finger covering his lips.
"Let me finish." She put her hand down. "I figured I'd go get a cup of coffee before going home and, well, ending my life. And I met you there. A guy spilling coffee down your front should've made things worse, but it didn't. You asked me out on a date. I figured, what the hell! I could….wait, one more day, and just go on a date with you. I really had nothing to lose. And I went, and I had an amazing time. And I felt happy, happier than I had been in months. Happier than I ever was.
"And we made more plans, and it kept….delaying me. I became happier with you. Eventually, I wanted to live, so I could be with you, so I could see you smile and hear you laugh. And kiss you, and hug you. Spencer," She cupped his face, running her thumb over his cheek.
"You gave me a reason to keep living. You're still giving me that reason." She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. "You're my hero, and my life. So please, please! Don't ever feel like you're just… plain. You're not. You're amazing. You mean the world to me. And it kills me that you don't see how truly perfect you are." She rolled over on her back.
"I really do love you Spencer."
They laid there in silence, neither of them having anything to say. Spencer sat there thinking. He was pretty sure he'd never been anything to anyone. He was just there, a background accessory if you will. He was sure everywhere he went in life, and the people he was surrounded by would just move on if anything happened to him.
But to this girl, this amazing girl he had somehow luckily obtained, he meant something. She loved him. She adored him. And that was all he needed. Spencer wrapped his arms around Caitlin, pulling her closer. He kissed her lips, before turning off the lap next to the bed. She snuggled closer to him, his arms tightening around her small frame.
"I love you." He told her before falling asleep.
A/N: I'm exhausted right now, so I wrote this half asleep. Sorry if that shows.
But here's the chapter. I hope you enjoyed.