50 ways to annoy One-Eye
Obviously I don't own Runemarks.
Anything with a star next to it was thought of by Blonde Writing.
1. Ask him why Loki's so young and he's so old.*
2. Creep up on him from his blind spot.*
3. Bring leek.
4. Whisper in his ear: "Hello Odin... It's Mimir..."*
5. Say that you like Loki more.*
6. Call him granpa.
7. Accuse him of betraying Maddy.*
8. Use the little tree metaphor to do so.
9. In the middle of the night, sneak into his room, tie him up, drag him to a roundhouse and leave him there. *
10. Make sure to put a deafeningly-loud stereo in the roundhouse and make it play 'Friday' by Rebecca Black on repeat. *
11. Say that he's a lousy king of gods. *
12. Everytime you pass him, attempt to high-five him while yelling 'Odin! Mah brotha from anotha motha, GIMME SOME!' *
13. Say he was way cooler as One-Eye.*
14. Cyber stalk him.*
15. Actually stalk him.
16. Come up with some crazy evil plot to kill all the gods. *
17. Explain it to him in great detail. *
18. When he says you're crazy, shout "THIS. IS. ASGAaAaAaAaAaAaAaRd!*
19. Rickroll him.
20. Get all emotional about whoever stole the blueberry gluten-free muffin top made by the company eggo that doesn't even make very good waffles or pancakes and the accompaning blueberries had no choice because of him.
21. If you are ever trapped somewhere with him, say you have to escape quietly and sneakily.
22. Then, turn into a Reshiram, scream, and fly through the roof.
23. When he says something along the lines of "Wtf?", ask him, "You mean - you haven't beaten Pokemon Black and White yet? Ha! I beat it in a day!"
24. He'll explain he doesn't play pokemon. Go into a huge rant about how amazing pokemon is.
25. Then say, "Your Flareon would know!"
26. When he says, "I don't have a Flareon!", have Loki jump out in a Flareon hoodie.
27. Flare! Flareon!
28. Try to psychoanalyze him.
29. Use the inkblot test.
30. Come up with some crazy analysis that doesn't even make sense.
31. Tell Heimdall that Odin stole his eyes and car and is currently driving up the Empire State Building with Loki.
32. Become his personal cheerleader.
33. Even worse - become a fangirl.
34. Give Loki 20,000 Red Bulls.
35. Turn everything he says into a meme.
36. IT'S OVER 9000!
37. Diagnose him with a non-extant illness.
38. TALK LIKE HOWEVER YOU HEAR THIS.
39. tokk lyk hovr u heere thihs.
40. Call him a n00b.
41. Get him to step on a shocky pen. (I did that once... But now the shocky pen is safely dismantled on my desk.)
42. Replace all his pens with the shocky kind.
43. Quote the Sound of Music at him.
44. If he gets annoyed, say, "I'm sorry! Please don't send them after me!"
45. Refuse to explain who them are.
46. Then ask him why he wasn't in the anime.
47. Make him explain why Maddy was a pink-haired airhead girl, too.
48. Introduce him to Naruto.
49. .sdrawkcab gnihtyreve yaS
50. Say generals are overrated.
Now for the paragraph some reviewer made me write...
23,200,000 results...
That was too many. Loki sighed. He added one-eye to the search box, and hit enter.
436,000 results...
That could be manageable, but it would take forever. What else could he add?
"What are you doing?" Odin came up behind him.
"Cyberstalking you." Loki frowned, and added blue signature.
161,000 results. Still too many. He tried typing in hat.
112,000.
"That's weird." Odin said.
"Uh-huh, let's try your favourite sitcom..." Loki typed in a few more things.
28,000.
"I never told you that."
"I know, but I kind of guessed because I hacked your computer and looked at your hulu and netflix history. Was I right?"
"Well, yes, but- Agh! Stop it! Why are you cyberstalking me!"
"Cause."
I think this one was hardest of all. Especially the paragraph... o.O
Oh well. Rate and review, or I will send Flareon and Reshiram after you!