A/N: To the few of you who still faithfully review this, thank you so much, you keep me going. So this one is for you. ;)
This is verry fluffy, for me, I mean, as I'm usually more comfortable with writing angst. I'm sorry for the delay, but I had no idea how to write this, and then tonight 1300 words suddenly came out. I love my muses sometimes. :) I am actually rather satisfied with it, so I hope you will all like it. Also, small Doctor Who and Bridget Jones references, I didn't realise it until I re-read it, and I decided to leave them. Let's see if you can find them. ;) xx
There were five people in the restaurant where Harry and Ruth had dinner that evening. He expected it to be quiet, but even he was surprised by the emptiness of the place. Still, Ruth didn't seem to care, or even to notice that they were almost alone. Harry couldn't remember the last time he had seen her looking like this. Not beautiful, not elegant, not stunning, she was all those things every single day. But… happy? Was it happiness, cheerfulness? He couldn't tell, but she looked young again, as if the woman who had entered the meeting room with too much files in her arms all those years ago was beginning to come back. He only hoped she would stay.
People turned around to look at her, and Ruth felt embarrassed. Why did people look at her like that since she left her flat? She knew her dress wasn't too much, so why? She was reassured by the smile on Harry's face, but she still had to ask. 'Because you look incredibly beautiful tonight, Ruth', he answered in a low voice, a teasing smile on his lips. She could have melted when she heard those words. Maybe she did. It wasn't the words, but the way he said them. Everything inside of her, whatever it was, was shaking, moving, mixing. She felt like laughing and crying at the same time.
Was it happening? Her and Harry, in a restaurant? Was it really happening? Two years before she was trying to forget him. Two days before she was convinced she had ruined everything and nothing would ever happen between them. And yet, there they were. It seemed so simple, it felt so simple to be there. So why did it feel so complicated for so long?
Harry saw the shadow fell upon her, the look in her eyes changing. Sadness and doubts were still there, and it wouldn't be easy for her to let them go. He was experiencing the same thing, but he didn't know whether it would be best to try and talk to her or to let her deal with her own feelings. 'Ruth and feelings', he thought. 'Long story'. Ruth, him, and feelings, really.
They ended up ordering their food and spent the evening talking over dinner. Then they realised it had been a very long time since they'd had a proper conversation about anything, and they both had missed it. He made her laugh and with the wine, she started talking more easily. Eventually they discussed literature, and Ruth lost Harry's attention at some point in the middle of her long speech about Ovid. Not that he wasn't interested in the subject. Not that he didn't want to listen. He just found himself so captivated by the sound of her voice he forgot to pay attention to what she was actually saying.
'Harry', she said, half-laughing. 'I'm boring you, aren't I?'
'Absolutely not', he answered, pretending to be offended.
'Harry…' She sounded gentle and still amused, but the tone she used obviously meant she now wanted to talk, seriously.
'Ruth?'
'Harry, I…I… I'm sorry but I think some things need to be said.'
'Oh?' He was slightly worried now. 'What things?'
'Harry…' He could tell she was forcing herself to look him in the eyes. 'I'm sorry for what I put you through. For what I put us through.'
'Oh, Ruth… You have nothing to apologize for. I am equally guilty when it comes to, well, us.'
'No, that's not true. I'm the one who said no. Twice. All those years ago, before I left, I'd already said no, because I was afraid of what people might say, or think. And then when you proposed to me, I could have made us both happy. But I said no again. You see, you're the one who always tries, and I push you away. It's what I do. I'm scared and I stop things from happening. I'm responsible for this.'
Telling him this made the thought real, and she felt the need to cry again. But she felt lighter too. It needed saying, and now it was out she felt a lot better.
'Ruth, I have my faults too. You left because of me; I shouldn't have let that happen. And when you came back…' He stopped, but she knew what he was talking about. Who he was talking about. George, always George. The choices he'd made.
'Harry, we need to leave this behind us. I don't mean we should forget, but… It was nobody's fault. I get that now. I was more angry with myself for moving on so quickly and thinking about you again than I was with you. It was always me, I blamed myself so much it stopped me from seeing things clearly. George died because of me Harry, not you. He died because I lied to him. But I need to let this go now. We both do.' She paused. 'I mean it Harry, she added, looking at him with her piercing blue eyes.'
'You do?' The emotion stopped him for saying more than these two words.
'I do.'
Once she realized what she'd just said, she gasped silently, and Harry stared at her, looking more serious than ever.
'Ruth…', he said very slowly.
'I'm sorry Harry'. She had blushed deeply and was talking fast, like she always did when she was embarrassed of felt she had said something wrong. 'I didn't mean… It's not what I meant… I mean I meant what I said but, the way I said it… You don't have to…'
'Don't have to what?'
'Oh, come on Harry. I'm embarrassed enough, you know what I mean'.
'Well, you've used the word 'mean' a lot, so no, I'm not sure I do.'
Though his tone was light and slightly teasing, the expression on his face told her he wasn't joking. She breathed slowly, trying to regain composure.
'I'm sorry I said 'no', Harry. It's the truth. But that's all. It doesn't mean I want you to ask again, you don't have to. You don't have to do anything.'
'But if I were to ask again?' he whispered. 'What would you say?'
'I'd say yes. I would.'
They stared at each other for a few moments, as if trying to make sure the other was as serious as they were. Suddenly, Harry turned around and grabbed his jacket. When he turned again to face Ruth, his hands were joined and she could tell he was holding something between them.
'Well, then', he whispered. 'I… I had a crazy hope, when I came to meet you tonight. I thought… maybe. Also I wanted to make this clear tonight, that this is what I want, for you and me. I thought if it went well tonight, then maybe we could pick up from where we left off, you and I. So I hope you won't be too angry that I pushed my luck a bit and bought this.'
He sounded so insecure she actually felt hurt.
'Harry?' she asked.
He opened his hands to reveal a small box, covered in navy blue velvet, almost matching her dress. He looked at her one last time before opening it and revealing the nicest ring she'd ever seen. A golden ring, with a diamond surrounded by two smaller sapphires.
'Ruth Evershed', he said, speaking as slowly and lowly as he could to contain his emotion, 'will you marry me?'
He'd had a long speech prepared, but as it turned out, the simplest words were the better ones. Ruth couldn't stop her tears any longer and sobbed for a few minutes, her face buried in her hands. But there was no sadness in her tears, not anymore. When she was able to speak again, she simply said 'yes'.
So, here we are. Or, actually, here they are. ) I hope you liked it, I feel uncomfortable writing fluff, so I hope it worked and I would really appreciate a review to know what you think and if you still like this. :) xxx