A big thanks to Marlza and Hamilyn for your continued reviews. I am glad that you are enjoying this :) I am having lots of fun writing it, although I am finding it somewhat difficult to write this story for various reasons :(

I am hoping that in this chapter, you get a bit of an explanation for Jen running out on Nick in Chapter 4, and I hope that she redeems herself somewhat.

Disclaimer: I do not own City Homicide or its characters.

6.

It seemed like hours before Nick came out of the interview room, even though Jen knew that he had only been in there for just over an hour.

She felt anxious for him; even though she knew that he had followed protocol, had done nothing wrong, just the mention of Internal Affairs was enough to make any Police Officer nervous. You felt guilty, even when you knew that you hadn't done anything!

She was also worried about his state of mind, given what he had told her about his brother. She felt guilty about having left him alone last night, and her regret increased with each passing hour of the day.

She wanted to talk to him, make sure that he understood; but she wasn't sure if he would let her get that close to him. She felt nausea in the pit of her stomach, borne out of anxiousness and that terrible feeling that comes from being in conflict with someone that you love.

She didn't want to let herself think about Nick in that way. Certainly, they had become close during their time undercover together, and there was definitely a physical attraction between them, a sexual chemistry that was just dying to be unleashed.

She loved him in the way that she loved a best friend; but was there more to it than that? It made Jen feel distinctly uncomfortable, but she thought that there was. She couldn't deny her attraction to him, and she couldn't deny that she felt something for him, something intense, something that pulled her towards him despite her best intentions to keep away.

She thought about yesterday's shooting. She had been frightened, when Nick ventured out from behind the relative safety of the unmarked sedan, to face William Clegg. She was scared for him. She remembered calling out his name, her lip trembling, her chin wobbling. Her hands had been shaking and she had felt a certain dread fill her body, a terrible fear that this man who meant so much to her, was going to be hurt.

Yes, she thought that she probably did love him; but as quickly as the thought surfaced, she pushed it back down, burying it deep beneath her tough exterior. She knew that they couldn't be together, even though at this point, part of her would give anything for that to happen.

She had worked so hard to get where she was. She had fought her way through in a male dominated field, she had earned their respect.

It had been so difficult for her when she first joined Homicide. She had been put in Wilton Sparks' team, and he had been an archaic, chauvinistic pratt who had used her as his personal coffee maid. If it hadn't of been for Stanley Wolfe, she would have probably given up and gone back to Fraud, where they at least tried to pretend that they had respect for her.

She had heard the way that male officers talked about female colleagues who had slept with fellow officers. No, she had worked too hard, had jumped over too many hurdles to lose the respect of her seniors and her colleagues, by entering into a forbidden relationship with a fellow team member. No matter how much she wanted to.

She knew that she needed to be there as Nick's friend, she needed to support him through this. She had not done a particularly good job of that last night. She had run away like a scared little girl, when it became apparent that he still had those feelings for her. She ignored what Nick had confided to her about his family, focused only on her own needing to get away. She knew that she had hurt him, and she knew that she needed to repair it. Quickly.

She couldn't lose her best friend.

"Duncan, you're next cab off the rank, apparently". Nick sat down at his desk, as Duncan sighed and arose from his chair, ambling over to the interview room that Nick had just vacated.

Allie and Rhys were out on assignment, so Nick found himself alone at the desk, with Jen. He looked over at her. She had tried to catch his eye all morning, and he had tried his best to avoid her. He felt hurt at the way that she had left last night, when he had so needed her to be there.

He also felt shattered at the thought that she didn't seem to reciprocate how he felt about her. He knew that there was an attraction between them; that had been obvious when they were undercover. He thought that it was still obvious now. He couldn't understand why she wouldn't give in to it. They were no longer bound by cameras, no longer on assignment, having to watch themselves. He failed to see what the issue was. Working closely with her, and wanting her the way that he did – it was killing him.

Jen felt his eyes on her, and looked up to meet his gaze. "How did it go?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, you know. It's just a formality, really."

"Right." Jen shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not quite knowing how to proceed, not wanting to feel the sting of rejection. "Nick...can we talk?"

He leaned back in his chair and nodded slightly. "So, talk."

"I don't think this is a conversation that we can have at work. Can we catch up later? For a drink?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders, trying to appear nonchalant. "If you like."

"Good." She sighed. He was making this difficult for her. This was going to be hard work. She figured she probably deserved it, but it hurt, all the same.

It seemed like ages ago that they had been close, friendly and familiar; a couple of days ago, she had sat on his desk with a coffee, discussing the case with Matt and Claudia. They had shared the coffee between them, a natural thing to do, something they had done so many times as Trish and Wesley, as a loving husband and wife. It probably looked to others as an act that was overly familiar, but to Jen, it had felt natural, it had felt right.

She longed to feel that way again. She swallowed and tried to push back the tears that she felt forming at the corners of her eyes. Why did this have to be so hard?