Awakening - Melitta

Note: Special thanks to MelittaGannicus, for helping me to make this story more readable.

"Words from a mouth that has only known her husband's cock."
Gaia

Melitta woke up from the nightmare gasping for breath and found Oenomaus sleeping soundly beside her. She had let the sinful desires to accompany her dreams only to see the fury of her husband, should he ever discover the truth. She shut her eyes tight to wipe out the vision from her dreams, the fierce face of Oenomaus. The dream was surely a message from the gods to show what the future was holding for her.

The guilt was too deep in Melitta, she was choking on it. She could forgive herself for the act that she had been forced to do by Quintilius' request. What choice had she had? She had been a slave for all her life and knew well the bitter meaning of the word. But she could not forgive herself for the pleasure she felt while performing the act. How was that even possible? Her husband had been the only man she enjoyed his touch… the only man that she had given herself to truly… the only man she had ever desired. Before being given to Oenomaus, she had her share of men only through brute pinches that brought merely pain or through filthy kisses that made her sick. The touch of a man for a slave girl was never pleasant, never intended to be. But Oenomaus was different than the others. His touch had brought forth the senses she had never known before. He was the one who had revealed the desire for a man in Melitta. She had always thought the feeling was unique for her husband's touch and had never expected to feel the pleasure with another man, till that night… till Gannicus, the champion of the house, touched her.

How her husband loved Gannicus! At first she could not understand why an honorable man like Oenomaus could entertain a friend like him, whose hubris would surpass even Narcissus. He was quite a seducer too, unlike Oenomaus. Although Gannicus had his ways with women -all types of women (!)- he was different to Melitta. He was respectful to Oenomaus and carried the same respect toward his wife. And he had such a sweet tongue! Especially when moistened with wine. She started to enjoy his company in no time. But it was not till Oenomaus had his legendary fight with the Shadow of Death that they become actual friends.

Melitta could never forget how Gannicus had saved her from that filthy gladiator when she was up to visit the medicus' chamber to see her bedridden husband. She was frozen with fear when the man had squeezed her between his disgusting body and the wall in a dark corner of the ludus. Before marrying Oenomaus, Melitta had been held virgin by her Domina, no man would go any further than, perhaps, stealing a kiss. And when she became the wife of Oenomaus, no one dared to pester her either due to the respect for her husband or the fear of him. But in that moment, when she was pressed to the cold walls, the sudden realization came to her that there was neither her chastity nor her champion husband present to protect her against the lust of treacherous men. She could not even move, as if she was in a nightmare rising from the depths of Hades. She could feel the burning tongue of the man sliding against her neck while his teeth were buried in her flesh. The heavy smell of his breath was poisoning her but she could not even turn her face away to avoid the odor. His rough hands were under her dress, one was grabbing her buttocks while the other pushing the doors of her womanhood; mercilessly scratching her sensitive skin with his dirty nails.

Suddenly she saw Gannicus' face behind the man, the crazy look in his eyes, the look he wore in the arena when he got truly mad. He pulled the gladiator off Melitta and instantly fixed his stormy fist to guy's throat. The gladiator stumbled with the unexpected strike, gasping for air. Gannicus kept punching him, without letting the man even to breathe. It took him minutes to calm down and finally let the man fall. The gladiator's face was distorted by the blows, bloody and swollen. Then, Gannicus looked at Melitta in the most tender way possible, reaching his hand out for her. She still remembered the relief she felt when Gannicus held her between his arms, stroking her hair while rocking her side to side to calm her down. She then realized that tears were pouring down her cheeks the entire time.

Gannicus sent her back to villa, promising he would tend Oenomaus that night so that she could have some rest. Only after she had a soothing bath she could comprehend the risk Gannicus had taken for her sake. A gladiator, beaten this bad would not go unnoticed. If the man was to tell the reason for him missing the fights, Gannicus, who did not yet possess the privileges of being a champion, would for sure be punished dearly. That night had changed how Melitta saw Gannicus. She finally could pass through his outmost layer of cocky philander and perceived what her husband valued in him. It was not only gratitude she felt, something more, deeper rose inside her. Their true friendship started that night.

Was that even true, only a friend? Till that shameless order came from Quintilius, this had been her belief. But when her eyes had met with Gannicus at that moment, she felt the desire rising hand in hand with panic and shame. She would never dare to betray her husband but when the command of her Dominus reached her ears, she found that the resistance inside her was not as great as she had expected. When Gannicus held her in a not-so-friendly way, she felt the excitement running through her belly. She realized with horror that she was actually yearning to feel Gannicus' touch.

When she was completely naked in front of the strangers, the kindness of his touch was the only thing she could hang on to. To her surprise, his touch was somewhat familiar; she was not repelled by it. She could not understand why her body was accepting him as a companion and not as an intruder. So it was actually possible to feel the pleasure of intimacy with someone other than Oenomaus! She knew such guilty pleasures were present for other women; she was not blind to other slaves' acts. But she was in a wrong impression that she, the great prize of purity for the champion, was above all these acts. She actually believed that she was more honorable than the rest of the slaves! Such a delusion it was. She was not only enjoying another man's touch but doing it so in spite of the audience…not even caring if the other man was a brother to her husband…

With that act, the realization came to her that she was a lie; Melitta, the honorable wife! Such a deceiver she was. The worst kind, deceiving even herself, believing her own lies! It was only fair that the gods turned away from her and were showing her the ending she most deserved.

Living in a lie was much harder when she knew the truth. Every time she was looking at her husband she was seeing the love for her was pouring from his eyes; only to be reminded of the inability to respond with an equal strength. Oh, how she wanted to be back in those days that she believed her love for Oenomaus was greater than anything…believed that Paris himself could not turn her gaze from her husband…believed that only with her husband's hands her body could resonate its tune…and believed that honor was easy to carry for lifelong.

Her heart was torn with the desire she could hardly lull. So this pain was all the great poets were talking about when they speak of love. She remembered one of the songs her mother used to sing quietly, while working around the house:

"I cannot finish my knit; it is no use mother dearie.
As I am dying with desire, you may blame Aphrodite"1

And if this was love, what was she has been feeling for her husband all these years; loyalty, respect, affection? Whatever it was, was strong enough to tear her between her old self and the new Melitta… strong enough to stop her acting on her burning desires... strong enough to prevent facing her passion candidly, even when she was alone with the object of her desire… strong enough to make her to turn away from the very man she was dreaming of every single night.

Every night her dreams were leading to another shameful act with him, even if she was to sleep next to her husband. The memory of the rumors in the ludus was not helping either. She had heard the slave girls bragging merrily that the champion's phallus tasted like honeyed wine; that they were racing to put it in their mouth. And her old self had thought that it was low of Gannicus to reduce the girls to a position of a whore by misusing their mouth. The touch of his lips was bringing the unspeakable pleasures they were saying; especially when it moved around the lips of their womanhood. She had not believed them, "a gladiator bowing down to a woman, like a common slave? Surely it cannot be." she had thought. The girls did swear that they could not choose between his tongue and his manhood in their backdoor, claiming he actually mastered both the tools in the arts of pleasure. "How repelling" had been her thoughts, "beyond doubt, no self-respecting man should use his tongue like a dog in heat". The girls were showing each other the marks of his lovemaking proudly; the purplish bruise from one kiss here, the red traces of a tight grasp there... And Melitta had thought the Celt had no kindness; tormenting the poor slaves who were sent to him.

But new Melitta understood clearly why the girls were so fond of him. Now, she could see the pleasures which were hidden from her eyes, covered with the lies she had been telling herself. Now, she was dreaming of the gossips she once had dismissed with disgust. She was yearning to taste the pleasures the girls loved to speak of. She was longing to feel his touch, once again, fully, without limits. Every single time she was near Gannicus, she was spending all her strength not to act on these crazy thoughts filling her head. Not to taste the lips that was calling her like the enchanting sirens. Not to concede her true feelings for him.

Melitta rose from the bed; she could not continue on these thoughts any longer. She got up to send prayers to Juno, the goddess of marriage. She begged her to remove this pain from her heart, to protect her from the desires Venus wrongly placed inside her… or at least to help her to keep her honor so that she can find the strength to resist this overwhelming temptation.

As if it was an answer for her prayers, her husband rose from the bed to ask the reason of her leaving his side. When he heard that his wife needed guidance from the gods to remove doubt and burden from her heart, he readily joined her prayers. When returned to his husband's bed, Melitta felt relieved. She snuggled in Oenomaus' strong arms, letting herself slowly into the soothing hands of sleep. She was more confident that with her husband on her side, she would overcome the burden placed upon her… at least till the next time she would see Gannicus.

1 A love song, by Sappho