Finding Love, Chapter 2: The Funeral

Edward Cullen's POV
"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying.
Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day.
Do it! I say.
Whatever you want to do, do it now!
There are only so many tomorrows."
~Pope Paul VI (1897-1978)~

I awoke to a furious downpour outside my window. This isn't the perfect weather for today's events, it's honestly too claque, a funeral in a storm, just like a movie.

I eased out of my bed, so not to awake Tanya, who rolled over and pulled the covers up further to her chest. I looked down at my beautiful fiancé and the bulge between her hips. I smiled knowing that I had everything I would ever need right here, but my buddy wasn't so lucky. I leaned over and gently rubbed her stomach before making my way to the bathroom.

After my long needed shower and a quick kiss from Tanya, I made my way out of the door and into my car headed to my sisters' house. My sister wanted me to give her a lift to the funeral, her boyfriend was already attending a funeral at Forks Cemetery and she didn't want to be at the cemetery longer then need be. Cemetery's give her the 'willies', she's twenty-four.

I pulled up to my sisters' condo and she was out front waiting on me. She slid into my car and I backed out of the drive heading through the small sleeping town to the cemetery.

"You're all wet." I pointed out as I drove.

"I know, but I was outside before the rain started and I accidently locked myself out so I couldn't get back into my apartment. This is so creepy Edward; it's like a bad omen or something."

"No, it's just Forks." I assured her.

We went quit as we entered the cemetery, something that we'd done since we were kids sitting at our grandmother Pearls funeral. I handed Alice my umbrella and she got out and came around the car to meet me as I cut the engine.

We knew exactly where we were supposed to go. The cemetery wasn't that big a place to get lost, but with Alice, any small place that doesn't consist of clothing gives her a reason to get lost.

I saw several people from my office standing under a tent about twenty-five feet from where we were, so I pulled Alice into that direction, we were late.

Timothy's funeral was nice. It was short and to the point. He didn't have any family, so there was no one to pay our respects to. Alice cried for the man that she had only met once, but he was so nice to her that she felt she could spare and few tears for him, and so she did. But this is the thing about Alice; once she starts she never stops.

I rolled my eyes as she walked over to Timothy's casket and sat a single blue rose on the casket. She'd ordered said blue rose last week so that it could be delivered today, and boy was it pretty pricey.

After Alice's moment with the deceased, we made our way further back into the cemetery to find her boyfriend Jasper. They've been dating for a year now, I have no idea how he's lasted, or why he hasn't popped the question, but I have a strong feeling he's in it for the long hall, and so is Alice.

Like I said before, the cemetery isn't big, so it took us no time at all to find the only other burial site. It was packed with all races, but mostly with Indian's and one I knew all too well. I haven't seen him in years, but I'd know that face from anywhere.

"There's Jasper." Alice pointed out her blonde haired boyfriend that stood behind a girl with straight dark hair who wore a dark one piece dress that buttoned down the middle. She was also wearing a pair of reading glasses.

Alice and I made our way over to Jasper and stood a few feet behind him. Well I stood a few feet behind him while Alice went ahead of me to comfort Jasper, for he was tearing. She'd told me that the person that was being buried here today was a great companion of Jasper's. And Jasper was heart broken when he'd learned of his friends' death.

I looked around the crowd at the grieving men and women as they mourned for their lost friend. I couldn't help but feel like a jerk for not understanding the pain they were clearly in. Their faces showed only part of their emotions and I'm sure if I could read minds I would feel the other part of their pain and I just knew, from their faces, that I wouldn't be able to take it.

But there was one face, pale and heart-shaped, that caught my eyes. I stared across the crowd and watched as her pair of dim, chocolate brown eyes stared into the distance. She looked void of everything around her. Like she didn't care what was being said as long as they finished it soon. She looked worse then the others; she looked broken.

As the casket was being lowered into the ground people started moving towards the broken girl, touching her shoulder and giving her hugs that she did not return. She just continued to stare into the distance, as if life was passing too slowly for her.

Jasper and Alice made there way over to the broken girl and waited in the line that had formed to speak to the girl. I waited with them, not taking my eyes off of the shattered creature. I don't know, or care how long we stood there before the line began to move. But before I knew it we were next to talk to the broken, pale skinned girl. That's when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" Embry Call asked as I turned around to face him. This was the Indian I've known all my life. "Did you know Jacob?" He asked looking at the casket. I shook my head and explained how I was here for my friend. He nodded in understanding and we had a small conversation about how awful this entire situation was and then I asked him who she, the broken girl, was.

"That's Isabella Black, but she prefers Bella. She's Jacob's wife, well I guess she's his widow now. Poor kid, they'd only been married for four years and in one day she lost everything that mattered most to her."

I looked back over at her as Jasper and Alice approached her. Alice just stood there silently while Jasper talked to Bella, the broken girl.

"Bells," Jasper whispered. "I'm so sorry baby girl. I'll miss him too, but I want you to know that he loved you with all of his heart. He never once doubted his decisions when it came to you. You were his everything and he loved you. Here," He handed her a small business card, which she did not reach for, so he slid it into her purse. "If you need me for anything, call me and I'll be there for you. I have to go, but look, here comes Ben and Angie."

The woman with the glasses from earlier and a man about a good two or three feet bellow her came up behind the brown eyed creature, and each of them placed a hand on either one of her shoulders.

"Jasper?" the man called as he stuck his hand out for Jasper to take. "God man, it's good seeing you again."

"You too Ben, I just wish it could have been under better circumstances. This is so surreal."

"I know, but it's still good to see you none the less. Are you going to be in town for a while?" Ben asked.

"Yes, I actually moved here a while back. Bells know where I live if you need me. Hey, I'm going to go, give other people their chance to see Bells. I think we should get caught up before you guys leave town though, my numbers in Bella's bag. Give me a call Ben." Jasper said pointedly, glancing at Bella. Ben nodded and shook Jaspers outstretched hand.

It was my turn to talk to the beautiful torn women that sat grave side of her now late husbands' grave. I walked up, not looking at anyone but her. She didn't even notice me, like she didn't notice anyone else that was here. I kneeled down beside her and put my palm to her cheek, talk about bold.

I turned her face so that she looked at me when I spoke, her skin was so soft, but it stung. As soon as my fingers touched her skin it burned like electricity was surging just bellow the surface. I pushed the painful tinge away as I looked into those beautiful dead chocolate orbs.

"I'm sorry for your lose Bella." I murmured. "But I promise you you'll mend." Her eyes bored into mine and my breath caught as the little fire that was left in her eyes burned out right before mine. It felt like my words just made her worse. She turned away from, her eyes focusing on nothing in particular. But as I stood to leave I saw a tear roll silently down her face, and I knew I was right, she would mend, her fire will one day spark again and my only wish is that I'll be lucky enough to be there when it does.

Alice left the cemetery with Jasper and I left alone; my thoughts returning again and again to the broken girl. I think she needs help; she needs to be watched for a while. She doesn't look like the kind of person that takes these kinds of situations well. I'll have to make sure to ring Jasper and tell him of my concerns.

I arrived home shortly after departing from the cemetery. Tanya was still in bed, as she always was these days. The kid was taking a lot out of her and I wanted her in bed if it wasn't necessary for her to be on her feet. Luckily she complied with my wishes. I think she manly did because my dad came and gave her the same diagnoses.

She went slightly mad when she found out that she couldn't go shopping with Alice the next day. But Alice on the other hand was pleased. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my sister loathes my fiancé. It's infantile really, only time can improve their relationship.

"Eddie?!" she called. I cringed visibly at the nickname she'd taken to calling me over the past few months. She knows I hate it, she's seen my reaction to it, yet she still calls me by it.

"Yeah babe, would you like something why I'm in here?!" I called back as I walked through our home to the kitchen. Our home is perfect for us. When we saw it, we knew it would be ours, well Tanya knew. Before it, we were living separately; me, in a single room apartment and Tanya with her roommate Kate. But when I found out about the baby I had to man up, I was becoming a father and I couldn't-wouldn't have my kid living in anything but the best.

"No, but can you come to bed?! I'm lonely, I've been in here all day and the baby's being restless." I smiled, thinking of the baby giving Tanya hell all day. The baby was only ever calm when I talked to him/her. Other then my voice, it moved and kicked all day and night.

"I'll be in there in a minute. I'm just getting a drink!" I poured myself a glass of water and headed to our bedroom. She was there, of course; beautiful and glowing in the center of the bed. I smiled as I headed over to her, taking off my pants and shirt as I went. I knew exactly what she wanted; too bad she wouldn't be getting it.

I crawled into bed, slipping under the cover and heading straight to bed for an early nap. I could practically hear her rolling her eyes. My father also told her, along with bed rest there was to be no sex; none, what so ever, no intercourse, no. She hates it almost as much as I do. As soon as my head hit my pillow I was dreaming.

I was shocked to find myself back in Forks cemetery. I was even more shocked to find my family front side next to the mahogany closed casket. I looked around, noticing the site was filled with people I knew and loved; family and friends. And then one face caught my eyes and I stood numbly staring at the same beautiful, broken Bella girl I'd seen and touched this morning.

She looked just as dead as she did this morning; her face contorted in hate and fear and anguish. But besides her was the body of a small little girl, her hand tangled with Bella's. She looked up at me as I approached her, her face as beautiful as the women next to her, both showing the exact same emotions, until the little girl saw me.

"Daddy?!" she called out loudly, but no one paid attention to her. It was as if she didn't exist. "Daddy is that really you?" she asked, squinting her eyes as I kneeled down beside her.

She was beautiful. She had my bronze hair, but her hair was beautifully curled to perfection. She had my emerald green eyes, but that was it. She looked more like the women-Bella- that held her hand then me. They had the same nose, chin; the curls of their hair were even the same.

"I'm your father?" I asked the beautiful little girl.

"Daddy you don't remember me?" She sniffled; tears forming in her beautiful bright greens. "You've only been gone for a week. You said I'd be your little girl forever, but you lied because you never came back home. Mommy cry's everyday for you. You should come home daddy, I think it would make mommy really happy."

"Who's your mother?" I asked wanting verification that the beautiful girl she looked like was actually her mother.

"You don't remember mommy? That's going to make her really sad daddy. Mommy?" She called as she pulled on the arm of Bella. I had a daughter; a exquisite daughter, with Bella, the beautiful broken girl.

Bell did not take notice of the little girl beside her. It upset the little girl more then I thought was possible for someone her age. "Mommy! He's not gone, stop blaming yourself and look!" She yelled.

Bella did no such thing. The little girl tried a few more times, but Bella didn't budge. She refused to take notice of anyone, even her own child, our child.

"What's your name sweetheart?" I asked my sad, beautiful little girl.

"Daddy how can you forget, I'm your unique little girl? You said so; you said you would never forget me. Please remember me." She begged as she yanked her hand away from Bella. Bella noticed that.

I stood as Bella's head wiped around to face the little girl that was now clinging to my leg. "Carlie!" Bella yelled. "Carlie come back!" Bella yelled frantically. Carlie?

"No mom, daddy's right here, look, look at him mommy."

"Carlie please stop. Daddy's gone, daddy's in front of us, please Carlie." Bella begged as she grabbed hold of our daughter. I'm not gone, I'm right here.

"Bella I'm right here!" I yelled trying to grab hold of my daughter as well. "Bella look at me! Look at me damn it!" she didn't, but Carlie can see me; Carlie, my six year old beautiful little girl. "Carlie Marie Cullen!" I yelled. She looked at me and a wide smile smeared across her face.

"Daddy you remembered!" she yelled as she took her arms away from her mother and ran towards me full speed. I picked her up and held her close to my chest.

"Of course I remember you, Carlie. You're my daughter, my unique little girl. Carlie Marie." I stood to face Bella who stood shocked in place. "Bella-" The words never finished forming before she was in my hands.

"I told you mommy. He came back for us, like he promised." Carlie whispered. "You came back."

"Of course I came back. I'll never leave you Carlie, never. Bella?"

"How is this possible? I saw you're body, I saw you dead." She whispered low enough for me and not Carlie, who wind up hearing anyway.

"Because mommy, we're dead too." Carlie whispered into my leg.

I was jutted awake from the horrid dream by Tanya's fingers sliding down my back. Thank god I'm a light sleeper. What was that dream? It was unreal for sure.

I had a daughter, a beautiful little girl, so perfect and smart, with Bella; the frail broken girl that didn't even really look at me. Who I'd only met once and who it pained me to touch. I'd met her once and already she stared in my dreams, as my wife none the less; my wife and the mother of my beautiful little girl. But that's not my reality; my reality is Tanya and our soon to be beautiful baby.

I rolled over, reaching out for Tanya's frame, she scooted into my side and rested her head in my chest. "Are you okay?" She asked as she rubbed small soothing circles in my chest.

"Yeah, fine, just a really bad dream."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No, I want to forget about it, though. So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day? What time is it, anyways?"

"It's just passing two. I have no idea what I want to do today, but tell me how the funeral was, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you." She apologized. "It must have been hard for you to see someone you know pass like that."

"I didn't know him, that well."

"But you used to call him buddy Edward." She insisted. "You used to call him 'my buddy'."

"That's because I didn't know his name, Tanya. I didn't want to call him that guy, or something. So I just called him buddy, and if people used to come up to me and ask who he was, I would ask them if they meant my buddy, over there. That's why I used to call him my buddy."

"You're losing it Edward Cullen. So how was Jaspers friend's funeral? Did you guys get to see him while you were there?"

"Yes, we saw Jasper. His friends funeral was much more heart moving then Timothy's, that's my buddy's name by the way. There were a bunch of people at Jacob Black's funeral. That was his name, Jacob Black. He was only twenty-six years old. And his wife, Bella, you should have seen her Tanya. She looked so, so not there. I got a chance to speak to her, but my words seem to hurt her more. It was the worse thing I've ever seen in my entire life. She looked so broken. I feel really sorry for her."

I trailed off thinking of Bella, yet again. I want to help her, but I have no way of getting in touch with her again. No, I don't, but Jasper does. "Tanya do you mind if I go out for a while? I want to go over to Alice's."

"Can't I come? I don't want to be here again all by my lonesome."

"Um, are you sure you want to come, it's still raining out there. You'd get wet." Tanya had some thing about rain water touching her hair. I never paid much attention to it, because I didn't understand it, but today I would use it. I didn't want her to come, I didn't want her to know yet, she might not approve of my wanting to help Bella. Tanya's sort of possessive when it comes to me.

"Rain you say? Well that'll be no problem; I have a rain coat and an umbrella. Wait five minutes and I'll be ready." She scooted off of the bed and wobbled into our bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I dressed quickly, hoping that Tanya would understand why I want to do this instead of making a argument about it. I would have totally used bed rest on her, but she'd bit my head off if I would have implied in anyway that she should stay.

I dressed quickly, my mind moving at a snails pace. How am I going to help her? I thought. She doesn't even know me and she couldn't even look at me. She was numb to the world, and she made sure we knew that nothing was going to get through to her. She blocked us out, probably only thinking of one thing, or I guess person would be more appropriate. I can't help her, but I can still tell Jasper of my concerns.

"I'm ready!" Tanya called excitedly as she exited the bathroom dressed in her Soia Kyo raincoat that she just had to have. Guess what, it's too small for her now. That's because she went for style and not comfort like I asked her to. I think she does things like that to spit me. I have no idea why she would want to spit me; I'm only ever trying to look out for her, keep her safe.

"Okay, come on; let's get over there before the weather get worse." I grabbed her hand and helped her out of the house. She just wobbled along side of me and I couldn't help the few giggles that escaped my mouth. She glared at me through the down pour.

As soon as I got her into the car and ran around to get in myself I blasted the heat. She needed it; her nose was already turning a faint pink. I knew she shouldn't have come. Well it's too late for that now. I started the car and was driving down the main road in the matter of seconds.

Forks is a small town, like I said before. They don't have a lot of choices to choose from; school's, jobs, homes, everything is pretty limited. So I was highly surprised when Jasper moved down to be close to Alice and found this amazing cottage in the middle of Forks woods. It's a pretty secluded area, six or so miles deep into the woods and it's pretty hard to find if you've never been there before, luckily I have.

The turn off was easy enough to find, and slowly but surly we made it to the very secluded and beautiful cottage. This is where Jasper and Alice spends their afternoons; renovating his cottage so they can move into it. The place needed a lot of work and Alice refused to move in before the cottage was up to code. Jasper, who would do anything to make Alice happy, gave in almost instantly. So for the last few months they've been renovating the cottage and living in Alice's condo where I picked her up from.

I pulled into the drive of the cottage and ran around my car with my umbrella to get Tanya. She wobbled her way out of the car and under the umbrella. I held her close as we walked to the front door.

We'd just made it to the cottage door when it swung open. "Edward?" Alice asked excitedly. But then she took in the figure beside me and her enthusiasm went down a few notches. "Tanya." She sneered in greeting.

"Alice." Tanya greeted politely. I have no idea why Alice hates Tanya. I've never seen Tanya be anything but nice and polite to Alice, and to be honest Alice doesn't deserve her politeness at the moment.

"Alice, can we come in?" I asked impatiently.

"Why no, come on in." She moved back, opening the door wider for us to enter. I let Tanya go first, already cheering back up as she stepped inside the cozy, warn cottage.

"Is Jasper home?" I asked Alice as I entered, taking off my jacket as I did.

"No, he's taking a drive. He's not dealing very well with everything that's going on. He jus keep saying; 'I just talked to him two weeks ago, I just talked to him two weeks ago'. I told him to go take a ride to clear his head because I really just don't know what to do. He's known Jacob since he was six years old. That's a long time to know someone and then lose them in the prime of their life. He's so broken up about it Edward. I feel so helpless."

I walked over to her, hugging her tightly to my chest. Alice wasn't one to lose herself, but when it came to Jasper she was so sympathetic. It was like their emotions were connected, he cry, she cry, he smile, she smile. That was their relationship and through that you could see how much they loved each other. Besides my parents, I've never seen anything like it, not even Tanya and I have it.

"He'll be fine Alice, you'll see. And you being here when he comes home is all he's going to need. I guess Tanya and I should be going…"

"No, stay for while, at least until Jazz comes back. I was just taking a break when I saw you're headlights. So what did you guys come over for anyway?"

"Eddie wanted to come out here, I just tagged alone."

"Eddie?" Alice mouthed in question, before she exploded with laughter. I rolled my eyes and Tanya looked at her like she was losing her mind. After a very long minute, Alice chilled down and offered us a seat and something to drink.

"So, 'Eddie'," I glared at her, causing her mouth to twitch in amusement. "What did you do after you left the funeral?"

"I went straight home. Tanya was there alone and I didn't want her to be too bored." I said kissing Tanya's right temple.

"Lot of help that did; he came home, went straight to sleep and had a nightmare. He talked about a 'Carlie' in his sleep." My eyebrows furred and I looked at Tanya sideways.

"You didn't tell me that." I accused, annoyed that she felt the need to tell Alice this, but didn't find the need to tell me this in the privacy of our own home.

"Who's Carlie?" Alice asked curiously.

I took a deep breath, trying to sort out my dream as I remembered it. I didn't need all of the time I took, but how do I saw, oh, she's my dream daughter I had with the broken girl, Bella, we met at the cemetery today?

"She was this little girl that appeared in my dreams. I've never seen her before, or even thought of that name before today. She had my eyes, my hair color," I smiled as I remembered who else she looked like.

"OMG," Tanya exclaimed. "You dreamed of our daughter, Edward." Tanya hugged me excitedly. My eyes extend and Alice saw the conflict surging through them before I could close them to keep her out. "Was she beautiful Edward? Of course she was, if she's anything like you just described. Did she have any of my features, my nose perhaps? Or my eye shape? I would rather her have a mixture of our eye color instead of just green."

I breathed a heavy sight down her back and squeezed my eyes tight; fitting the urge to tell her that she was not the little girls' mother. "Edward's eyes are not just 'green' Tanya." Alice argued. "They're emerald, a very unique color. I'm sure she was a beautiful little girl Edward." I smiled up at my sister, silently thanking her for her opinion.

"Of course she was beautiful, I'm her mother. Anyway, I don't like the name Carlie; we should go with something like Amanda, or Brooke. I like Tina though."

"Tina?!" Alice jeered. "That's hideous. Carlie is a way better name then Tina."

"Well I'll be her mother there for the naming of my child will be up to me."

"And Edward," Alice cornered. "You know, her father. He is her father isn't he Tanya?" My eyes widen as Alice asked my fiancé if I were the father of her child. Of course I'm the father. Tanya would never…

"Alice," I warned, firmly before Tanya cut me off.

"Of course Edward's the father of my child. You're a real witch Alice. How could you ask a question like that? I think we should leave Edward. I should be in bed."

"I think you're right Tanya. I'll talk to you later, Alice." I said as I walked over to the coat rack to get Tanya and my coat. Alice just rolled her eyes and headed towards the kitchen with the cups of water she made us, but never gave us.

As we were zipping up our coats I remembered I never got to talk to Jasper. I guess I'll just have to do it another time. Alice was completely out of hand asking Tanya something like that. And I did not appreciate it. So we were leaving and i would tell her about herself later.

Tanya was just grabbing her umbrella when I opened the door. I froze, dazed by the figure that stood before me. "Bella?" I whispered to the shivering, soaked girl drenched in water before me.

"Jasper," She managed between grinding teeth. "Please help me?" She got out before she collapsed into my surprised arms.

A/N: Did you guys like it???

Please please Review...Chapter 3 will be better!!!