Anti-Seddie Shit. /vent
I was growing more and more tired each day as I thought about my current situation. Sure, at first I was all for the idea of being in a relationship but now it had grown tiring. Receiving calls and texts everyday transformed from 'enjoyable' to just plain 'tolerable'. I didn't even bother going to meet him after he was finished with work anymore.
I was just... plain tired.
Of course, Freddie was none the wiser and was oblivious to my true feelings, but then again I am an expert at masking my feelings with years of experience under my belt.
And of course I felt like a bitch when I dumped him and acted so—as he put it—"nonchalant". But then again, he should've seen this coming a mile away. I put up obvious signs along with pretty direct signals. He knew what my feelings were and didn't even care to change.
Then he goes ahead and blames me for not even trying to work past our differences. I put up with it for weeks and even going so far as to tell him straight-out that I didn't like certain things he did.
The last couple of days were painful. For him, anyway.
Like clockwork he would always call me right at 9:15pm, when he got off of work. Never even thinking about the fact that I might be busy or have work of my own to finish. I thought maybe ignoring his calls would at least deliver the message that I wanted him to calm it down the constant calls and texts. This proved to be to no such avail- He grew paranoid and began texting me when I didn't answer with questions like, "Are you okay?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Are you mad at me?" … It was seriously like, "Jesus, can't you just chill out for a day?" I seriously felt suffocated.
I mean, It wasn't enough that we see each other every week and he sleeps over every weekend... But he has to also make an effort to come over to my home and "keep me company" when really all he's doing is taking up the spare oxygen in the room and getting sweat and dirt all over my clean bedsheets.
And so last week, I did it. I told him everything I didn't like that he did. The way he felt so comfortable strolling into my home and using my things, drinking and eating out of my fridge, and even going so far as to washing his clothes here whenever he felt like it. It was like he didn't understand that just because we were together that meant that my home was his home. He didn't understand the concept of boundaries.
He invited me to Kristi Pall's graduation party. Apparently she's his friend. I wouldn't know- I've talked to her like, once. When I asked if Kristi said it was cool with me coming over since I don't really know her, Freddie told me that it was alright because Kristi's a "chill girl". I ain't goin' over to no chick's party unless I know it's alright. I don't want anymore people calling the cops on me or making me feel more unwelcome than I already do amongst a sea of people I don't even know.
Even after asking him to at least let her know I was coming, he refused. He found it to be ridiculous to even have to ask.
After I laid it all out for him, the things I didn't like, he tried to put up a defense. At first he tried to blame it on his upbringing- That he was just raised the way he was where he could become comfortable enough with his friends that in a similar situation he could stroll right into their homes and eat out of their fridge.
When I brought up the whole courtesy thing about asking friends for me to come over he told me that me insisting on having him ask was like saying I doubted his friendship with his friends. Like I give a flying fladoodle how strong his friendship is with his friends. He should've still asked- The party wasn't even at Kristi's house- It was at some snazzy bar or restaurant or something.
I told him enough was enough. If he couldn't even see past this then we should just stop.
He apologized for making me angry.
For making me angry.
He didn't even get what I was trying to tell him. I hate to sound like such a girl but he probably wasn't even listening to a word I was saying and he just wanted to apologize so I could get over my angry and conflicted feelings.
I sat uninterested as he silently cried, frustrated at my own frustration. He didn't like that I didn't want to work through this. In actuality, I had been trying to work through this. I'd been trying to get around these petty things for a while now. But it just wasn't working.
We weren't working out in the way that I had hoped.
In retrospect, I think somewhere in my head I knew this relationship wouldn't last. Although I definitely would've liked it and wished with all my heart that this relationship would last a long time- I knew it just wasn't meant to be.
Carly agreed with me to an extent. She did say that her two best friends getting together and staying together would be like a fairytale happy ending, but this isn't a fairytale.
This is real life.
Author's Note; So sorry for the emo break-up chiz. I wrote this when I broke up with my ex and so now I put it up here. Hopefully the actual Seddie relationship will never come to this lol