Finding Love, Chapter 5:
Isabella Swan
"So raise your hands to Heaven and pray that we'll be back together someday.
Tonight I need your sweet caress, hold me in the darkness.
Tonight you calm my restlessness, you relieve my sadness."
I awoke to find, not only my father, but Jasper and his girlfriend and that strange bronze haired guy that stared in my dream. It was good to see him actually, because dreaming of him means I wasn't dreaming of Jacob, and that's a first for me, a pleasant first.
My father was sitting on my bed and Jasper was only a foot or so behind him. Everyone-to my dismay- was staring at me. "What's going on?" I asked weakly.
"You blacked out, a lot. Are you feeling okay?" I nodded my head, still taking in their facial expressions, ranging from uncertainty to apprehension.
"Dad, what's going on? Please just tell me." I stated sternly.
"Well Jasper and I have been talking-" he started nervously before I interrupted.
"Jasper and you have been talking…about me?" he nodded. "What about me?"
"Well, he seems to think, and I agree, that being home is no good for you right now. You can't take the emotional pressure that's sure to find you if you stay home. Jasper thinks that you, getting out of my house may be the best thing for you for a while. He's offered to let you live here, because supposedly it's your house anyways."
I nodded vacantly, agreeing that this is in fact my house. "I can't. Jasper, J-J-Jake and I rented this house out to you; this is your home now."
"My home that you own," He answered simply. "Bella, I won't be moving out, I'll be staying here with you. If that's okay with you, of course, but I think it's a fantastic idea, and Alice will be here off and on; your father will visit… you won't be alone, but you won't be there. Please, give this a try, please think about it. It might be exactly what you need."
What I need? What does he know about what I need? What I need is my husband back, what I need is to wake up and find that Jakes been watching me sleep. I need the smell of wildflowers and oil and woodsy aftershave. I need to know that the smile Jake used to wear still exist and I need to know why the heavens choose my life to experiment with. What I need is this…
I sunk back into the soft plans of the bed and pulled the covers to my chest. It seemed that everyone was still waiting on my call. "I'll stay." I whispered. "For a while." There seemed to be a group exhale of relief and everyone quietly sunk out of the room. The dream guy lingered.
"You," I whispered before he could leave the room completely. "What's your name?" He turned on his heels to face me, his face confused.
"You don't remember my name?"
I shook my head no, and he stepped forwards. "I dreamt of you, but I can't remember your name from the dream. What is it?"
"Edward."
"Did you say something to me before I fell asleep?" I asked as I distinctively remember hearing his voice.
"Yes," he said honestly.
"That was the first time since he's been gone that I've dreamt of someone besides him. It was different, but strangely pleasant. I don't know what you said, but thank you."
I flopped over in the bed, facing away from him and closing my eyes. I was done with chatter for the day. I just wanted to be.
***
I awoke the next day to the smell of cinnamon, Jasper. Jasper is known for his famous, homemade cinnamon rolls. My mouth was watering just thinking about their warm, sugary, melting sweetness. I think it's the only thing that got me out of bed.
I heard the light sounds of cackling as I made my way through the hall and into the living room. It was the windiest laughter I've ever heard; light, breathless, and carefree. Who could possibly be that happy this early?
"Alice, she'll wake up when she wants to." I heard Jasper argue as I reached the opening to the kitchen.
"But her breakfast will get cold." Alice argued back.
"I'll put it in the warmer. Leave her be."
"No need, I'm up."
Both their bodies swung around, their eyes landing on me, inspecting me. Jasper took longer, giving me the once, twice and a third time over. "Wow Bells, you look like shit."
"I feel like it too." I looked around the kitchen, looking for the familiar emerald/jade eyes that stared in yet another dream of mine, Edward.
"Looking for something Bell?"
"Yeah, those amazing rolls I smell in the air." I lied.
"Aww, you're just in time. Grab a seat and I'll get you some coffee."
"Do you really think I need that, Jazz?" He walked away smiling but I thought I heard; 'you need something,' being whispered from his lips. If that was a lie I think I would have argued, but there was no lie in those words.
Alice brought me an amazing cinnamon roll and for the briefest second, I lost myself in something not pertaining to Jake. It was a small piece of nothing, but it wasn't him.
After my roll we made it into the living room; Jasper and Alice sitting together on the long sofa while I sat across from them on the loveseat.
"So Bells, do you want to do anything today?"
"Sleep,"
"Come on Bells, I need you to get out of the house. We can go to the park, or we can go to the zoo, or-"
"Jazz, all I want to do is sleep. I know that's indolent of me, but I'm just so tired, please." I begged.
"Fine, we'll-"
"No, I don't need you to babysit me. I'm a grown woman and I can take care of myself. Please don't treat me otherwise."
I stood, not giving any of them a chance to speak and left the room, heading for what I used to know as Jakes game room and what is now known as Jasper's guest room.
They didn't follow me, which I was grateful for. I needed time alone, except I found myself minutes later sitting inside of Jasper's guest room, thinking of Edward. I wanted to go to sleep and it seems his presents helps a great deal. Just the memory of him isn't proving to be an effective way of falling asleep.
Eventually I did fall, and my peaceful nights were once again disturbed by memories of my Jake…
***
"So you want to go visit my mother now?"
"Well yes, she's going to be my mother soon and I think it's only right that I meet her, don't you?"
"Yes, of course, but last week when I brought it up you freaked and locked yourself in the bathroom, and for the record; I really had to go." I laughed, smacking his chest.
"Jacob, this is serious. What if she doesn't like me?"
"So what if she doesn't like you? I think I love you enough to make up for her. But that won't stop me, Bella. I love you with all I have and I will not let you go for anything in the world. You, Bella Swan, will be my wife, soon; with or without my parents okay. I love you." He pulled me to him gently and kissed me sweetly. I was in heaven.
"Why are you so good to me Jacob?" he laughed quietly, squeezing me for one long second then letting me go.
"I don't think I'm good, I'mmm great." Exclaimed like Tony the Tiger. I slapped his chest, making him smile that beautiful blinding white smile. "Bell, you are so absurd. You're good to me, which make this," he grabbed my hand, holding on to it tightly. "Easy. It's easy to love you Bella, just as it's easy to be good to you. Now, when do you want to meet mother dearest?"
"I have a free spot on my schedule Thursday. Mr. Banner canceled our lecture in English class. We can head down to the reservation then and spend the weekend there, maybe even check on Charlie?" I asked hopefully. I really miss my father.
"Sounds great, but can we sleep at a hotel this time; I can't take that couch again and I really hate sleeping in a different room and bed as you?"
"Sure, that's fine. God, I can't wait."
The week went by slowly and slowly my fears begin to creep into the mix again. Jacob reassured me and reassured me, then he did it again, but nothing was working. I'd managed to get myself worked up and it was literally scaring even me, so for Jacob to just be there for me as I over reacted was just amazing and it showed me how much his words meant something. They weren't just 'get me laid instantly' words.
Thursday evening came and we found ourselves nearing Port Angeles sooner then I would have liked to think about. Jacob held my hand the entire drive and kept me from leaping out of the car. He doesn't understand why this is so big to me. He doesn't understand that this women can actually come between us, because mothers are nuts about their sons finding the 'right' girl.
She could instantly hate me and demand he break off the engagement. I know Jacob said no matter what we'll be together, but I would hate to be the cause of breaking his family to pieces. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
Jacob pulled up to the curve of one of Port Angeles best hotels, The Red Lion. I turned from the window to face Jacob, who looked amused by my expression.
"This is too much, Jake. We could have stayed at the Inn or something, but this-it's just too much."
"Bella Marie Swan," He said reprimanding. "You are my fiancé, soon to be my wife. I will not have you sleeping in anything less then what you deserve, do you understand me? This," He gestured towards the extravagant hotel before us. "is just the tip of the iceberg. Just think about what we'll be staying in for our honeymoon."
He leaned over the console and placed his lips lightly to mine. The kiss was innocent, soft, and it made me lightheaded, but then it changed; by who I'm not sure, but I sure as hell am not complaining.
Jacob's hand trailed up my back, finding purchase in my hair, pulling me towards him more. I was nearly over the emergence break when there was a light tap on the window, making me jump and yelp in surprise, which completely turned into embarrassment when I turned and saw the poor valet kid at my window.
"Lets head in to find our bed- I mean room." He corrected quickly, my urges not caring about the slip since I also wanted to find a bed.
"I prefer the first, if you don't mind." I purred seductively.
"Kid!" Jacob called to the boy outside of my door.
The nervous looking teenage boy opened my door while Jacob ran around the car to grab my hand before the boy could. He yanked me out of the car, pulling me through the automatic doors and into the Red Lion.
I felt so out of place in the extravagant foyer. Beautiful light fixtures, blooming flowers throughout the room, it was truly a site.
Jacob pulled me to the receptionist desk, the blonde behind the counter eyeing Jacob like a piece of candy that escaped a piñata. She looked oddly familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then, she spoke. "Good evening, my name is Jessica Stanley can I help you?" Even if she wouldn't have said her name, I would have recognized that nasal, high-pitch from anywhere.
"Good evening, my name is Jacob Black, this is my fiancé Bella, and we have a reservation under the name Black."
"Bella, Isabella Swan from Forks High?" I visibly cringed as my name left her lips, Jacob grabbing me by my waist and pulled me into his side.
"Yes," Jacob answered for me. "Do you know her?"
"Of course. Bella, it's me, Jessica Stanley from high school. We used to be the best of friends." She lied, smiling at Jacob. "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, of course Jessica, how could I forget?" I asked in a sickly sweet tone. "Jacob, don't you remember her? Come on, you have to remember her. She was the girl that-at the party we met at, you remember, my party- after we came inside tried to grind on you, and when you asked her to stop she tried to slap you?"
Jacob looked at me stunned then slowly turned to face Jessica. This was funny, because a few nights after the incident Jacob admitted to me that he had nightmares about Jessica's advances, always waking him up in a cold sweat.
"This is nightmare Jessica?" He asked, whispering in my ear. I bit my lip, holding in the laughter that threatened to burst out.
"I'm sorry; I don't recall doing such a thing." Jessica said simply.
"Oh, I do. In fact, Ben, Angela and I have it on tape, just in case you want to see it."
"No," she blurted. "that's fine. Here's your key to your room have a nice stay." She sneered.
"Thank you, oh, and we will." I assured her, letting the sexual innuendo linger in the air.
"You're a bad girl Bella Swan." Jacob whispered as we walked away from the desk.
"And you love it Black."
We slept the day away in each others arms, occasionally waking to finish our hungry movements from hours before. It was a peaceful day and night in Jacob's arms. He made me feel safe and loved in the smallest gestures.
Around noon the next day Jacob and I wandered outside of the four beautiful walls of our hotel room, heading to the rabbit. We decided to catch breakfast at the diner in Forks when we reached it. Our plan was to head to breakfast, then to La Push, then back to Forks to visit my dad. And I was excited for the later. I haven't seen Charlie or the guys from the force in a while and I've missed them.
Arriving at the diner had been surreal. Everything was just the same as it was when I left, even the wait staff. "Bella Swan!" Came the familiar voice of the same waitress that has waited on me and my father since I was a little girl.
"Peggy Cross, I thought you'd moved? Charlie said he hadn't seen you the last time I talked to him."
"Well I did, but come on, there's no place like home. Wow, you look just as beautiful as you did the last time I'd seen you kid." She complimented as she pulled me in for a much wanted hug. "And who's the hunk?" she said gesturing towards my Jake. Jake had stepped away from us, finding a booth, to give us a little privacy. When I turned towards him he smiled from behind his phone.
"That, Peggy, is my fiancé Jacob Black."
"Fiancé?! Well hell kiddo. You're growing us too damn fast."
"Tell us about it." Came two more familiar voices from behind me. I spun around only to be face to chest with my father and a blond goof.
"Dad!" I greeted jumping into my fathers arms. "Jasper!" I hopped from my father to Jasper and hugged him tightly. "What are you guys doing here? Jake?" I called swinging around only to find him next to me. He had the biggest smile on his face and I knew that this was what he'd been setting up on his phone for the past few days. "Thank you. I love you so much." I leaned in, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips and hugging him tightly until there were several exaggerated throat clears behind us.
"How about you two cut the PDA before I arrest you?" My dad joked, I think. I blushed and pulled Jake back to the table that he'd sat at while I talked to Peggy.
Once everyone was settled around the table and Peggy had our orders, we sat and talked about what we were up to these days. Jasper was down visiting his grandparents before he went back up to school. He was planning on leaving the same day we were leaving, so we decided that he should hook up with us some time this week, because when all three of us get back to school it'll be a hardship trying to see each other. And we also decided to just drive back to school together.
My father told us about a few cases that he was currently working on, but he couldn't go too in to detail about it because they were open cases. He also said he was thinking about adopting a dog, but I warned him that I wouldn't be home to take care of it; it would be his job completely. He told me if he does decide to get one and it doesn't work out he'll ship the damn thing to me. I laughed, but he was serious.
After our steak and potatoes Jake and I made our way out of the diner and to the rabbit, after promising to be at my dads tomorrow for dinner. We were in the car seconds later, making our way down to La Push Reservation.
Everything about La Push calmed me. It's where I used to come with Ang. and Ben to think and to hang out, it's where Jake is from, it's where we had our first date. It's where we both knew that our relationship was going to last forever. It's where we-one day- hope to retire.
Jake pulled in front of a one story, red wood, home with a rusty shad on side. In front of the wooden house was a busted, old red truck parked in the driveway. I smiled at the peaceful simplicity of the love of my life's childhood. It made me love him ten times more in that moment.
"Does this mean you like it?" Jake asked timidly.
I looked back and smiled genuinely at his beautiful face. "This means I love it. This is where you are from, Jake. Jake, don't you even dare feel embarrassed by where you come from. This," I said gesturing towards the house. "is where the man I love with all my heart came from. Don't dishonor him, Jake Black. I love, and will always love you, no matter what you grew up in."
He smiled brightly, wrapping me in his arms and kissing me passionately. "You are so amazing, Swan. Let's go, I can't wait for my family to meet you."
He jumped out of the car and I followed behind him excitedly. I was a little nervous, but who wouldn't be nervous meeting their feature in-laws?
Jake grabbed my hand as he reached my side of the car, rubbing soothing circles in my palm as we walked. Before we even reached the door, a tall russet boy, about my height, with long, darkish hair came flying out of the door, straight for Jake. I released Jakes hand and stepped to the side as the boy hugged Jake jaggedly.
"My god Jake, what do you do out there, eat all day? Cut back on the cow and grab a salad, man."
Jake laughed before releasing the boy and pulling me close. "We'll my girl doesn't have any complaints." Jake mused as he kissed my beat red cheek. The boy looked at me and my ever burning cheekbones and laughed. I smacked Jake on the back of his head and buried my face in his chest.
"Look what you did Jake, you embarrassed the girl. Hi," The boy said softly, while holding his hand out to me. "I'm Seth, Jakes little bro. You must be Bella."
"The one and only." Jake assured him. I shook my head at Jake and held my hand out to Seth.
"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you Seth. I've heard great things."
"Same here, why don't we go into the house and get dinner; moms been waiting on you guys to arrive, and Emily's getting annoyed. Dads on his way home from the station now. Come on."
Jake held me back, letting Seth disappear into the house ahead of us before he turned to me worriedly. "Are you alright?"
"Fine, a bit nervous." I admitted honestly.
"You are going to do fine. My dad already knows and loves you, and Seth obviously likes you. Emily might need to get used to you, but mom will love you, alright?" I nodded determinedly and walked behind him as he pulled me towards the front door where, like Seth, we disappeared into.
My first reaction when I walked into the wooden house was 'awe,' but now, after a few moments of looking around the living room, I have to say 'wow'. It's exactly what I pictured a young Jake running around. It's homey, and warm and tranquil. I could just imagine a young Jake running around destroying everything in site.
"Jake!" a dulcet voice yelled from down the hall. Seconds later a small build woman was hugging Jake closely to her frame. "Oh god, son, you look great. It's so good to have you home."
"It's good to be home mom. Mom," He said as he pulled away from her and reached back to grab my hand. I reached out, putting my hand in his and relaxing instantly. "I want you to meet my fiancé, Bella. Baby, this is Sue, my mother for all intents and purposes. Mom, this is Bella… my life."
I looked over at Jake and smiled adoringly at him. 'I love you.' I mouthed. He'd never said something so beautiful to someone about me like that. "Well Bella, it's nice to meet the girl that stole my sons' heart. I guess I should call you my daughter too?" I held my hand out to her, but Sue politely ignored it and went in for a hug. And who was I to resist?
"It's nice to have met you Sue."
"No, it's my pleasure. I've never seen my son taken with a woman like he's taken with you. Plus my husband, as well as Seth now; you have some kind of voodoo on the Black men. Us Black women can use another strong woman on our side. Welcome to the family Bella."
"Thank you." I replied wholeheartedly.
"Mom, where's Emily?"
"She's refusing to come out of her room until your father gets home. I think her and Sam had another one of those 'epic' fights."
Jake rolled his eyes and walked me to the couch. He was quickly stopped by Sues' voice. "No," she shouted. Jake stopped in mid bend and turned to look at her. "go straight to the kitchen. Your father should be here in two minutes and then we can eat diner. Seth's already at the table, go." With a fake salute Jake pulled me into the kitchen.
"So Jake?" Seth called as Jake helped me into my seat. "You going to come with me to the beach tonight for the bonfire? Everyone's going to be there, and they all want to see you."
Jake looked over to me, his eyes sparkling with hope. I smiled and nodded my head in consent. He beamed back and pulled me close, kissing my temple.
"Not at the diner table son." came a smooth bass that I knew immediately as Billy's tenor. Jake jumped up, walking over to his father and grabbing him in a tight, loving man hug. I've never seen him be the kid before, it was nice.
"God dad, I've missed you."
"Missed you too son, but come on. You telling me you had time to even think about me with your hands full with this one?" asked amusedly as he gestured towards me.
"Yeah, yeah old man, just get over here and give me my hug." He released Jake and walked around the table to give me a tight, fatherly hug. It's going to nice being apart of a big family. "How you been Billy?"
"Good, really good actually. How bout you, my son treating you like you deserve to be treated?"
"Better, he's treating me better."
"Alright then; you better keep it up son, because if you let this one slip I might have to kill you myself. So, where's your sister?"
"Emily, dad's home!" Seth yelled. Sue walked behind him, clobbering him over the head.
"We're not in a cave Seth. You act like you were raised by a pack of wild wolves. We have guest tonight."
"Oh come one mom. She's no longer a guest; she's practically a Black already. She has to get used to this, I mean, how will she ever survive Christmas if she doesn't?" he asked in a mock horrified voice. I giggled silently, he winked at me.
Sue just shook her head and walked over to her seat, where Billy was there holding her chair out for her. "Thank you my love. You might want to go talk to your daughter, dear. She and Sam are at it again."
"Do I have to?" Billy asked in a nasal, high-pitched, annoying whine that had everyone at the table in hysterics, even Sue, who tried in vain to contain it.
"Billy Ephraim-" she started
"My whole name Susana?" Billy retorted. "I guess I better go then, before you pull out the bigger cards." He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Sue rolled her eyes, then snickered like a pre-teen in heat.
"That's really gross mom." Seth stated. "If you would have done any more you could have risked ruining my dinner." Jake covered his face, embarrassed, but enjoying himself none-the-less.
Ten minutes late Billy emerged with a beautiful russet girl behind his back. She looked to be in her early teens, and she was absolutely stunning. "Bella," Jake called, interrupting my observation on the little girl that just had to be his little sister Emily. "This is baby girl. Baby girl this is my Bella." I blushed and reached my hand over the table to embrace hers. She took my hand timidly.
"It's nice to meet you Emily, your brother talks about you often. It's been great meeting all of you, I can't wait to be apart of this amazing family."
"You're already apart of this family babe." I smiled up at him, my eyes watering from the love and acceptance that's radiating off of these people, my family. "I love you."
"I love you too."
****
I awoke the next day to a faint noise outside of my door. I knew that it was two people or more, all whispering, but all sounding upset. I stood from my bed, walking over to the door and pulling it open to find Jasper, his girlfriend Alice, and her brother Edward.
"Bella." They all said in harmony, all their faces shocked and worried.
"Yes, me. I assume your argument was about me as well." I looked at all of them for answers, and the silence that was given to me answered more my question more then enough. "I don't want you guys to fight over me, Jazz. I'm fine I swear it. I know he's gone Jazz, I know he's not coming back and I have to be an adult and accept that. I should be happy for the time I did get to spend with him. I was lucky to have that, so I'm fine. You can all call off the doctors and the mind probers and let me be. But you," I looked to my right, my eyes locking with Edwards once jade, now more of an ember, emerald green, eyes. "I would like you to stay with me for a while; if you don't mind of course."
"I don't mind." I nodded gratefully and turned back to Jasper.
"Do you mind if he stays with me for a while?"
He shook his head no, stating that it was fine with him as long as it was fine with me. I smiled weakly, waved at Alice and then silently turned back into my room with Edward on my heels. I hope he really does have some kind of magical voodoo powers to keep the nightmares away….
A/N: i know right, it took forever. I hope you guys liked it!