AN: I'm SOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated any of my stories for so long... I could give a list of excuses longer than the U.S. Constitution, but that would more than double the planned length of this chapter.
Despite how much I hate his character's choices, I can't hate Sasuke as much as I really want to, since his English Voice actor is an acquaintance of mine... Not a huge one, but he follows me on twitter with his VoVoiceactor account. The guy's so nice, it's ridiculous! I interviewed him last year for a project, and this is what went down at one point:
Me: "I still can't believe that you're really letting me interview!"
Yuri Lowenthal: "Oh, I had some free time and I'm actually having fun, so it's not a problem."
Me: "No, seriously, you're really nice to be doing this. I appreciate it a lot!"
Yuri: *chuckles* "Thanks. I tend to play a lot of assholes though... No idea why."
And after that, we talked about the recording shenanigans that went on for Guren Lagann, I quoted some of my favorite lines that he's done, it was fun. I did paraphrase what was said a little bit, since this was over a year ago, but "I play a lot of assholes though" is a direct quote. I shit you not.
I can hate on the Japanese Sasuke as much as I want; in the manga too, but when it's in English, well... Yep.
Now for some rants. Yay! (Fans/readers/new haters: Aw, what the hell?) Why, oh WHY is the Sharingan so damn overpowered...? Without it, the Uchiha are practically nothing! Anyway, here's the canon description on the descendants of the Rikudou sennin, and the distribution of his bloodline, along with my summary of what it entails.
Uchiha- Eyes of the Sage (i.e. Sharingan)
The sharingan allows for complete bullshit. The end. I believe that it is a mutation of the Rinnegan created by the Juubi's presence in the Rikudo Sennin. What I find unrealistic are the things that can be done with the sharingan in the current and most recent arcs almost completely disregard chakra costs, as well as how strong they make the bearers become in such a ridiculously short amount of time. (see: Sasuke) Hell, the only "weakness" to the Mangekyou is that you eventually go blind. The solution is so retarded, it doesn't even make it an actual weakness! Get a new pair of eyes and they evolve into something even stronger! Augh. Whatever.
Senju- Body of the Sage (Chakra Focus)
Most people would think that the Senju bloodline is the Mokuton, but I disagree. For the number of Senju that there have been mentioned in the story, only one has been actually noted to use Mokuton. But! All the Senju mentioned in the story have had some special affinity to an extreme with their chakra. Tobirama had a ridiculous control over water based chakra, and Tsunade has a ridiculous control over her chakra in general... But she IS an Uzumaki as well, soooo... I think her regeneration seal is that Uzumaki seal mastery peeking through the bushes. Hashirama was strong, even without using the Mokuton, which is water and earth chakra control to an extreme. So, my theory on the Senju bloodline is that it permits a ridiculous control over an element of the body's chakra coils.
Uzumaki- Life of the Sage (SOOOPER VITALITY!)
I'm adding Uzumaki for the sake of them being related to the Senju. Personally, I don't think Hashirama was the one to control the Kyuubi like they say he did. Granted, Yamato was able to restrict Naruto from unleashing any tails, but remember the kid is an Uzumaki.
My reasoning for calling it the Chakra of the Sage, even when I gave the Senju Chakra Focus is the fact that they are seal masters, and their chakra is ridiculously potent. Even with only a small part of herself sealed in her son, Kushina was able to slam Kyuubi with little effort using those chakra chains, which I believe are a kind of physical manifestation of the chakra performing the effects of the seal. Given time, (and some training) I believe Naruto could create them too.
Uzumakis also have large chakra pools, because despite the fact that Kyuubi's chakra is leaking into Naruto's coils, it's still a trickle. Few people would be able to throw chakra around like him.
Then there's the vitality that they seem to possess, or maybe it was just Kushina's genes in general, but I believe that if it wasn't for that 13+ foot long nail stuck through her chest, she would have survived the removal of Kyuubi. Hell, she was strong enough to hold the bastard down for a few moments with it sticking in there, so that's a testament to something... Then there's Naruto's Vitality... Not all of it could possibly be related to Kyuubi. Jinchurikis don't get that many benefits from what I can tell when they are not being utilized actively, other than a few minor things. The regeneration is something that I believe comes from the Uzumaki, but regenerating cells like that must consume record amounts of Chakra... (see: Tsunade) So that's the thing that Kyuubi actively augments by funneling chakra when wounded. Other things like being energetic, resistant to illness, harder to knock out; those are signs I consider to be part of the enhanced vitality.
There's one last thing: Extended life span. Just how long we talkin' here? Anyone got any reasonable ideas? Mito was an old fart in the brief moment she was in the manga, and Kushina was what, 7? Tsunade had to be at least 33 at that point, and Mito was her Grandmother, sooo... She was at least over 115 years old by my estimation. Whatevs.
Next rant: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE SASU/NARU YAOI? UGH! Just go die, fangirl yaoi lovers! I've literally seen 10 sasu/naru yaoi fanfics in a row with more than 5000 words. I think it was followed by a Kaka/Naru... Just because Naruto likes Sakura and she happens to have the figure of... An ironing board... With the curvature of... The previously mentioned object... Doesn't mean he's a gay prostitute that's looking for love being squirted up his ass! Ugh. Even though this is fanfiction, please use elements of the actual source material to faithfully produce something that doesn't make my eyes bleed.
Final rant: If you are a non-native English speaker, (I.E. English ain't your primary language in your household) please stay out of the English section of fanfiction if you do not have a beta that IS a native English speaker. It doesn't matter what part of the world the English comes from, (USA, Canada, England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia) as long as you have someone with the intelligence higher than that of a muffin, you should\not have much of a problem.
Sorry about the two pages of ranting. That shit builds up, y'know...? If any of y'all agree with me, hollah!
Naruto: Savior's Ascension
Chapter 3
(Line Break)
"Konan-chan, that letter also mentioned the Raikage calling a Kages summit." Naruto said, breaking the silence that was unknowingly filling the room until previously just mentioned. "We can take two shinobi to accompany us. Since the meeting is about the Akatsuki, I think it would be best if you were one of them."
"I... See... Wouldn't my presence be, well..." Konan paused, thinking of the Raikage's temperment.
"You would be one of my guards, so if he has a problem with it, then I'd leave as well!" Naruto said, pounding a fist on the new desk, grinning cheekily.
"He'd be an absolute moron if he didn't listen to someone with inside information on the organization anyway." Kurenai chipped in from behind her mountain of paperwork. "I say you should go, Konan."
"Right then... Now for my second... Hum... I've got it!" Naruto exclaims, evil grin forming on his face once again. He writes up two scrolls quickly and snaps his finger. Two anbu appear bowing. "Neko, Anigumu*, take these scrolls to their respective addressees."
The two Anbu give their affirmatives before shunshining out of the tent/office.
"I know what the first scroll was for, but what about the second one...?" Kurenai asks, standing up.
"I'll need a stand in, so I called for Kakashi. I told him to show up at 3:00 on the scroll, so he should get here in five minutes or so if my plan works." Naruto says casually. "If he doesn't, then I'll know that he actually DOES make a point to show up two hours after actuall expected, other than what's written."
"Smart idea..." Kurenai mused. Konan looked confused. Seeing the look, Kurenai decided to elaborate. "Kakashi is notorious for being a couple hours late for almost everything, so Naruto-kun here is attempting to trick him."
"Will that actually work...?" Konan asked in a deadpan. Kurenai shrugged. At that moment, Anigumu shunshined back into the office, bowing.
"Hiashi Hyuuga is waiting for you outside the office. Shall I let him in?" Naruto nodded and the Anbu shunshined outside. Not a moment later, the Hyuuga clan leader walked in with the usual regal dignity that he possessed, though the bags under his eyes showed that he, too, was feeling the strain of things.
"You called, Hokage-sama?" He asked.
"Please, Hiashi, call me Naruto. I hate formalities..." Naruto retorted, waving it off. "Have a seat. You look like you need it..." Hiashi smirked and gave a small chuckle before sitting down with a weary sigh.
"Heh, I figured that you would say something like that, but I wasn't going to test it. You are right though... Times are trying as of late..." The Hyuuga leader said after sitting down in the comfy chair. "Regardless, what is the reason for calling me here? Forgive me for the bluntness, but I am genuinely curious... Not that I mind the small break either."
"Right." Naruto stood up and handed a copy of the letter to Hiashi. "I know you may not like Kumo right now, with what happened those years ago, but leadership has changed, as well as the situation in the Elemental Countries."
Hiashi read through the letter before sighing.
"You want me to accompany you to the Land of Iron, do you not?" Hiashi asked tiredly. Naruto nodded. "I'm flattered, but why me? Surely there are those that are stronger than me."
"I know, but you are a clan leader after all." Naruto says. "Even if you aren't the strongest shinobi, you are still among the top 20 in Konoha. But that's not the reason I want you to come with me."
"Oh?"
"Again, you are a clan leader; of one of the most well known in the Elemental Countries, no less. Your presence shows the confidence that your clan has in such a young kage, as well as how seriously Konoha is taking the Summit." Naruto began explaining sagely. "There's also the fact that you can use your Byakugan to detect lies and stuff. But there is one more thing..."
"One more thing...?" Hiashi repeats. "I was already convinced halfway through, but I'm curious as to the last reason."
"I'm really new at politics. I figured with you and your experience..." Naruto began with a sigh, letting the point sink in to the tired Hyuuga, who started uncharacteristically laughing.
"I must be more exhausted than I thought if those didn't come to mind immediately." Hiashi said, feeling a bit more refreshed after the good laugh. "I will accompany you, even though I would have done so regardless because it is my duty as a Konoha Shinobi."
"Great! Think of it as a little vacation on the trip there. Let's leave a few days early so we can take a small detour to a spa that's on the way... You look like you could use it."
"Hn." Hiashi grunted, frowning, before taking a look in the mirror and grimacing. "You're right, Naruto-san... Even my bags have bags."
"Great! Then it's settled, dattebayo!" Naruto grins. At that moment, Kakashi shunshined into the tent.
"Oh... My... It worked...?" Kurenai gasped, disbelief apparent on her features. Naruto gave her a thumbs up.
"What worked...?" Kakashi asked quizically. "Anyway, sorry I'm late."
Kurenai snickered at that point before whispering the whole story into the Hyuuga clan leader's ear. Needless to say, that got the clan leader to smirk.
"Ignore them, Kakashi-sensei. I called you here for a reason." Naruto said, face turning slightly red at having to hold in his laughter. "There is a Kage's Summit in the Land of Iron, and I need you to run Konoha in my absence. Duty calls, ne?"
Kakashi nodded.
"I suppose so... I guess I'm getting roped into the job, regardless of what happens..." Kakashi sighs. "At least it's only temporary. Hopefully Tsunade-sama will wake up when you're gone and lend a hand."
Naruto nodded, standing up from his comfy chair and gesturing to Kakashi to sit in it.
"You should get to work. As you know, Kurenai is my assistant, so she'll be yours too." Naruto explains, stretching audibly. "The three of us need to get ready to leave tomorrow, so... Yeah. That's it, really. Laters!"
Naruto walked out with his hands behind his head after giving a casual backwards wave, Konan and Hiashi following him.
Kakashi looked over at the stack of evilness looming on the master 'in' pile and a sigh escaped his lips.
"Why do I feel like I just got shafted...?"
(Line Break)
"Hey Konan, I think you'll be needing a different outfit..." Naruto points out roughly two minutes after leaving his tent. Konan looks at her Akatsuki coat and palms her forehead before merely ripping it off and tossing it into the ether. Under her coat, she was wearing a skin-tight bodysuit that showed off her curves quite well. (I think that's how Kishimoto originally designed her, w/o the coat... I forgot the specifics of the outfit. Eh.)
"Er... I suppose that could... Um... *gulp* Work..." Naruto blushes, seeing the woman underneath the coat. He was merely guessing as to her definitions earlier. It pays to be right, dammit! "How about a new coat though...? I can't look away..."
"Um, sure, I guess. Is there a problem though with me dressing like this...?" Konan asked, examining herself, her movements accentuating her curves even more and causing several construction workers to pass out.
"Yes and no..." Naruto says.
(Line Break)
Naruto is seen walking down the street with Konan (plus a new coat and shinobi pants!) and Hiashi. Naruto and Hiashi were sporting tissues up their nostrils, but paid no heed to them. Konan had a slight smirk. Naruto stopped to rub at his eye briefly before addressing the Hyuuga clan head.
"We'll meet out at the gate at 0500 hours, so get your sleep." Naruto says. Hiashi nods before disappearing in a shunshin. Konan decided to stick around and follow Naruto as he got ready to go.
(Line Break)
Sasuke Uchiha was barely 10 miles outside of Konoha when an orange mask wearing man warped in front of him and his team. Not surprised at the action, he just halted, expression indifferent.
"And where do you think you're going, Sasuke-chan...?" Madara asked. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at the way he was addressed.
"I'm going after the elders. Is there something you wanted?" He responded. Madara's visible eye narrowed.
"I don't think so. You failed to capture the Hachibi as I ordered you to." This time, a visible reaction was given by the normally stony faced Uchiha. That of shock. He, however wasn't the first to voice objections.
"What the hell do you mean? We all saw Sasuke-kun beat that guy!" Karin shouted, holding her glasses with one hand. Madara snickered darkly before tossing a giant tentacle on the ground.
"Oh, you gotta be shitting me...!" Suigetsu moaned. "If that wasn't so sad, I would be laughing my ass off now!"
"Regardless, Konoha has been leveled by Pein. Going there would be pointless." Madara says with an indifferent shrug.
"Someone had to have survived. I don't think anyone could have possibly killed an entire village that easily." Juugo remarked. Madara nodded in agreement. At that moment, a man resembling a plant materialized out of the ground.
"Zetsu, anything to report?" Madara asked, turning his head.
"Oh, I think you'll find this interesting, Madara... It seems that Pein was killed by the Fourth's Legacy, and is now the Hokage."
"That is... Disconcerting. An Uzumaki like Pein is no pushover, not even I can beat him in my current state." Madara mused, hand on his chin. "Not to mention that the council actually recognized him as the most powerful shinobi in Konoha... I was actually expecting them to put Danzo in."
"Wait, what? Who is the 'Fourth's Legacy'...?" Sasuke shouted, enraged.
"Hm...? It seems Konoha is filled with morons after all." Madara quipped. Sasuke scowled in turn. "Tell me, have you seen anyone that resembled the Fourth Hokage in any way...?"
Sasuke took a moment to think it over. He knew that Minato Namikaze was blonde, had spiky hair, and used the Rasengan quite often, but was most famous for his Hiraishin technique.
"Here's a hint. His wife was the Hot-blooded Habanero, Kushina Uzumaki... If you can't figure it out from here, I'd say that you have issues."
"Wait, the... You mean, Naruto is...?" Sasuke spluttered. Madara clapped with fake glee.
"Marvelous! You do have a brain after all. Yes, the current Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki, is the son of the Fourth Hokage and also an Uzumaki, a descendant of the Rikudou sennin, like you and I."
"Th-that's..." Suigetsu stutters. Sasuke's eyes show absolute shock before he chuckles, then erupting into outright laughter, placing his hand on his forehead and leaning backwards at the same time.
"Oh dear, I seem to have broken him..." Madara states amusedly. "A feat in itself. I wasn't sure if it was possible to screw that head up any more..."
"What is this to you, a game?" Karin shouts at the masked man.
"Hm? A game...?" Madara repeats.
"Toying with Sasuke-kun's mind like that, what you're doing with Akatsuki... Is this just a game to you?" Karin shouts hysterically. Madara's visible eye narrows, and Karin finds herself lifted in the air, hand constricting throat, the offending hand belonging to the elder Uchiha.
"Listen, child... Before you begin shouting off that self-righteous nonsense about playing with lives, look at your own past with Orochimaru. What did that snake do to all those people?" He sneers. "Those people suffered for no reason other than to advance that fool's insatiable lust for techniques."
"Guh..." Madara tsked and hurled the red headed girl into a tree before walking away.
"I will create a world of peace... My world." Madara says, looking back at her for a moment. He then casually throws a rock at the still hysterical Sasuke. "Shut the hell up, chuckles. You have work to do."
"No, I'm going after the elders." Sasuke answered, rubbing the sore spot on his head. Madara sighs while shrugging in apparent defeat.
"What did I tell you...? You are not going to Konoha. There are plenty of Shinobi there that can defeat you easily." Sasuke glared at the man. "And don't throw that whole defeating Itachi thing around. He had one foot on a banana peel and another in a grave as it was... All you did was give him that last... Little... Push. And here's the best part; Pein was stronger than I am at this moment."
"Madara, it seems that Konan has abandoned Akatsuki in favor of the Jinchuriki as well." Zetsu added.
"...And Konan is on their side now too." Madara added without skipping a beat. "So before you get killed, there is something we must do first."
"...Hn. Whatever."
"Good boy."
(Line Break)
"Okay, you guys ready to go?" Naruto asks Hiashi in full battle gear and Konan in... *nosebleeds* ... They nod in affirmation. "Right. Let's get this done with. Onward to Iron Country!"
And that does it for this chapter, I'm afraid. For some reason, seeing a new Five Dollar Footlong commercial from subway seems to have just shot my writing willpower down the proverbial shit vacuum cleaner.
*Unrelated sidenote* Dropping a motorcycle on your foot hurts like hell.
Read and review folks, because your heartfelt reviews are like my crack... Oh wait, I'm not a druggie. Um, well I am a fan of the sauce... Rum more specifically. Regardless, REVIEW DAMMIT!