Finding Love: Chapter 10

Edward Cullen
"The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."

by

William Somerset Maugham quotes"

"Alright, I think that will do Mrs. Falltrip. You can go change. Make an appointment with my receptionist and I'll see you then."

"Or maybe we can see each other before then." She said as she walked towards me letting her light blue gown fall.

I looked up from my note pad only to look away again. It was gross and I'm sure it constitutes as sexual harassment.

"Mrs. Falltrip, please pull up your gown."

"But doctor, I think there's something wrong with my chest." I gagged, just a little in the back of my throat.

"Mrs. Falltrip." I exclaimed, stressing the Mrs. "You came to me to be treated for a case of the clamps. I hardly think what you are offering is something that I would be interested in. Now madam, please pull up your gown and leave my exam room."

Before she could speak again I left. I was so through with this day.

"Tiff," I said as I passed up my receptionist. "I'm done for the day. And if you would be so kind as to find a new physician for Mrs. Falltrip I would love you forever."

"She did it again?" She called after me.

"She offered me Clamps!" I yelled back. I exited the building with Tiffany laughing behind me.

From the office, I headed straight to my parents house. I was in no mood to travel to Port Angeles right now. Besides, I missed my mothers cooking. When I arrived, my mothers car was the only car in the drive. I pulled in on side of her and headed inside.

"Mom!" I called as I walked into the familiar dome.

"Kitchen!" she called back.

I found my mother in the kitchen, the room smelling like a five star restaurant. And looking like one. Food covered every inch of the room, all plated and ready to serve. My mother was decorating a yellow cake in the middle of it all.

"Mom, what's going on?" I asked confused.

"What?" She asked just as puzzled.

"Well, you have like twenty dishes of food. Did someone die?"

She scoffed. "Edward, you don't remember what day it is?"

"Should I?" I asked, once more confused.

"Oh god Edward. Well I guess you don't remember that Nardo is on his way home either, do you?"

"Why is he coming back so soon? He just got there. Did something happen?"

"Edward, my sole. What has been going on with you?"

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"No, you haven't been fine for over eighteen years." My mother told me. "I thought at first it might be the pressure of being a new dad, but you were always fine with Nardo. A little distant, but fine. Then as time went on, I thought it could have been his mother, but you never talked about her. Now you don't even remember that today is thanksgiving and that your son is on his way home. Who has hurt you like this Edward? What happened to my son, my sole?"

"I'm fine ma. I'm going to go clean up. When is everyone expected to be here?"

With a sad sigh, she answered, "Twenty minutes. Nardo called a while ago. He'd just left Port Angeles. He should be at least by La Push right now."

"Okay, I'm going to go wash up-take a bath. I'll see you in a minute."

"Okay, I just brought some of your old things up to your old room a few days ago. You should find it on your couch."

"Thanks ma."

I took as quick a shower as I could. Then I headed back into my old childhood room to think.

My mom wasn't entirely wrong. I knew I was different from the boy she raised. Ever since that day at the hospital where I'd lost all track of Isabella, again…I just shut down. I mean she was there, right in front of me and she got away. She didn't want me.

I stayed in my room for as long as was respectable. To be truthful I wasn't up for a family day. I wanted to see my son, but I could go without seeing everyone else.

"Grandpa Carlisle." I heard a small voice mutter as I walked down the stairs. I instantly knew the small voice. It was my nephew Julian. Alice and Jaspers first kid. She was now pregnant with her second.

"And that?" A hoarse voice asked. It was unfamiliar to me, but it drew me in.

"Uncle Edward. You look like him."

"I told you!" Exclaimed my son. The sound of my sons voice had me descending the steps two at a time. "I told you he looked like my dad. This stuffs creepy."

I stepped into the living room, everyone instantly quieting down. Their eyes found me and they stared. I-on the other hand-was in shock. Sitting next to Julian was a young man that looked almost exactly like me. Except his nose…that wasn't my nose.

"Dad," Leonardo called as he stepped towards me. "This is my friend Nathan. Nate, this is my dad."

The boy stood, walking towards me with an extended hand. "Nice meeting you sir. Leo talks about you all the time."

"Nice to meet you as well. You look so much-"

"Dinner is ready boys!" My mother called from the dinning room. I let go off Nathan's hand and gestured towards the dinning room. I followed everyone in.

My dad was already sitting at the head of the table when everyone entered. He stood greeting everyone with a hug and a handshake. When he got to Nathan, he stumbled a bit then glanced at me. After a short pause, he shook Nathan's hand and reclaimed his seat.

It was an awkward beginning…everyone silently looking from me to Nathan. No one talking. Then there was Jasper who was obviously tired of cutting around the bushes.

"Where are you from Nathan?"

"South Dakota." He answered politely.

Eyebrows raised, Jasper was stunned. "That's far. Why are you going to school on the west coast?"

"The sun." he answered with a smile. "Plus UCLA is one of the best schools, for me anyway."

"What are you studying?" Jasper asked nonchalantly.

"Biochemistry and Molecular Biology. I want to be a doctor." He said nervously, glancing over at me. I smiled encouragingly.

"Wow, and your parents can afford that?"

"Jasper," Alice hissed.

"It's okay." Nathan assured her. "Um, yeah, but it's just my mom and me."

"Just you and your mother?" My mother asked.

"Yes Ma'am."

"And did you have your grandparents?"

"Um, just my moms dad. He's actually from around her. Charles Swan, the old chief of police."

Water exploded from my mouth as his words sunk in. "I knew it!" Jasper exclaimed. "Goddamn it, I knew it was your fault!"

"Julian," my mother called down the table.

"Yes mamoo?"

"Can you go into the living room and watch some television?"

"But I haven't finished my peas."

"It's okay; I'll eat them for you." Julian left as soon as the words left her mouth. He didn't care what happened to the peas, just as long as he didn't have to consume them himself.

When Julian was in the all clear I spoke. "Isabella Swan is your mother?" I asked Nathan softly. Fearing that if I spoke any louder he would disappear.

"Yeah, here." He pulled out his wallet and opened it up. He handed it to me. Inside was a picture of three adults and two children. Two women- one I knew so well and one blonde. A man, his arm around the blonde and the two children. One of which was Nate and the other a little girl with blonde hair, her hand locked with Nate's.

I focused back on the one I knew well. And traced the picture- her face. She was stunning. Her long brown hair shinning in the sun, her eyes dancing with the joy of motherhood. She was beautiful, happy.

"Edward, I think it's about damn time you started telling us the truth." My mother demanded.

"I-"

"Now!" she shouted.

I nodded, handing Nate back his wallet. "I guess I'll start from the beginning, from Leo. As you all know, I met Tanya, Leo's mom about three months after I moved back home. I thought she was beautiful, amazing, very smart. I loved her instantly-so I thought- and one thing led to another and five months later she was pregnant. I moved her into my home and I proposed. I thought it was only right. I was an idiot.

"Three weeks after she moved in I went home early, hours early. I wanted to see her, surprise her. Unfortunately, she surprised me. With pizza, in bed, with the boy that delivered it. I broke of the engagement and I asked her to move out. She did. She moved in with her sister Irena-who incidentally was not her sister at all. No, not her sister but her lover. Which I found out five months later when I found them in bed, with Irena's teenage lover. I'd just come back from the cabin, looking for Isabella and their they were, in my bed.

"Anyway, after the first time, I did eventually forgive her. I let her move back in and we put the wedding back on. Then about four in a-half months later someone at my job died. I had to go to his funeral and that is where I met Isabella, your mother Nathan. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and she was in so much pain. She was at the funeral of her late husband, Jacob Black."

"My mother was married?" Nathan asked shocked.

"Yes, I should let her tell you the rest of that. It's her story to tell. Anyway, she was there and out of everyone, she was the only one not crying, yet she looked the saddest. I approached her and I spoke to her. She didn't say a word. That night I went over to Jasper's place, your mother still on my mind hours after I'd seen her. I wanted to offer my help. I thought that I could help her, I was wrong. She turned out helping me.

"She ended up at Jaspers as well that night. Haven run from her fathers house. She fell right into my arms when I opened the door for her. From that night on, she spoke to me about almost everything. She kept it all in until I was able to get to her so she could tell me. Over the short amount of time we spent with each other I fell in love with her. I knew I wanted to be with her and no one else. So I spent most of my time with her. Every free moment I had went to her. I knew she wasn't ready for what I wanted, but I wanted to wait for her, until she was ready.

"And then one day she was. I didn't mean for us to go as far as we went, but we made love and I knew that I couldn't be with Tanya anymore. I mean we weren't…you know. We hadn't for a long, long time, but I couldn't let her believe that outside of my child I wanted anything to do with her. So after Isabella and I made love I left early that morning to go tell Tanya that she should start looking for a new place to live. But when I got to my house, she had ambushed me with a visit from Irena who I believed to be her sister at that time and Irena's young lover.

"I was pissed, because I wanted to get it over with already. I wanted to get back to Isabella. I asked Tanya to ask them to leave, that we needed to talk, but she wouldn't. Then I got the call from Jasper. Isabella had runaway. I got a group together and we went after her. We never found her. Then about seven months later your grandfather was caught in a cross fire and he was hit trying to save one of his officers life. He was in a coma for a week. It was all over the news. Isabella must have seen it. She came down here with a woman and a man. I assume it was the ones in your photo. They locked themselves in your grandfathers room and by the time I kicked the door open they were in the car driving away. It was the last time I ever saw a glimpse of her. She must have been pregnant with you Nathan, at the time. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you. I wish I had known about you. I would have never stopped looking the second time. I would have eventually found you.

"Leo, I almost missed your birth. Tanya was furious, to say the least, that I still wanted nothing to do with her, only you. She thought that she would get back at me by not letting me see you born and giving you up for adoption without my knowing. But thankfully your grandpa was there. He called me and I came right away. Your mother, however, was furious about that too. She um…told me some awful things after she gave birth, but I didn't listen to her. I took you two days later and we never looked back."

"What did she tell you?" Leo pleaded.

"Leo, that doesn't matter. She doesn't matter."

"What did she say?" Leo shouted.

With a sigh, I told him. "That you weren't mine. That she had no idea who you were for. That she'd slept with plenty of guys while we were together and any of them could be your father. She was just certain that you weren't mine."

A phone buzzed from across the table and Nathan reached in his pocket pulling his out. "It's my mother. I have to take it. Excuse me." He stood answering his phone as he exited the room. "Mom hey. No. Yeah, where is he?"

I followed Nathan with my ears and eyes as he left the room. Isabella was on the other side of that phone. She was so close.

"So," Leo said wryly. "Nathan is your son?" I looked at him confused. He sounded upset.

"Isn't that why you brought him here? Because we look so much alike?"

"I brought him here because yeah, I thought he looked like you. I thought that on your travels you slept with someone and had a kid out of wedlock. I didn't know I was going to find out that you had a son that you would have rather been with. I didn't know that I was going to find out that my mother was a whore who couldn't keep her legs closed. I didn't know that I was going to find out that I was unwanted since conception, that I might not be yours."

He stood, running out of the dining room. I stood to follow behind him, but my mother stopped me, grabbing my wrist. "Go to him, Edward. Tell him about the time he got sick. Tell him the truth."

"I will mom."

I found Leo in the green room. The only place he ran when he was upset. When he was old enough to drive and he and I would get into it. He would drive from Port Angeles all the way to Forks, just to sit in his grandmothers green room.

"Leo," I whispered as I sat next to him. "Leo, what you think-"

"You love Nate's mom, don't you?"

"Yes, I always have."

"Did you ever love my mother?"

"Yes, at one point. But a person can only take so many heartbreaks. Tanya did things that I could have never forgotten. I could never forgive her for what she did. The risks she took while carrying you, my son."

"Am I?"

"Are you what?"

"Am I your son? You said yourself that my mother was a whore."

"I never said that." I argued. "And she is not your mother. Esme was the strongest woman figure in your life. Don't disrespect that position she played in your life for you by thinking of Tanya in her place."

"Sorry. But you implied that Tanya was a whore. That she slept around with god only knows how many men. How are you sure that I'm yours? I mean, I don't look anything like you. Not really, except for my uncontrollable hair. Where are you in me?"

"I have something to tell you. Something I never thought I would ever tell you. You almost died when you were five."

"What?"

"You came down with something. Something I'd never heard of. It was one of those rare diagnoses that are passed through family bloodlines. Somehow, you got it. I tracked down Tanya and made her give me her family's medical history. We tracked down about twenty of her family members and they all were very helpful, but we found out that it wasn't from her side of the family. So we tracked down mine. I didn't have many records because my dad had left me and my mom when I was young and my mom was killed when I was six or seven years old. Whatever medical history I had died with my mother.

"So instead of focus on that, we looked into finding the men Tanya had slept with. I knew who a few of them were and she eventually gave me the names of the others. I almost died when I saw the list. I got myself checked for some unnamables. I found out that I was in the clear after a week or so. Anyway, you needed blood. None of the guys on the list matched your type-O-neg. I did. I never wanted to take a DNA test with you Leo. You were mine from the moment I saw you, but them telling me that my blood fit yours and I was going to save your life…. You are my son Leo. You have always been mine. So no, you don't have my eye color, or my hair color. But you have my nose, my mouth, my jaw line. You are my son. You are mine. And I love you with all the love a man can have for his first born."

"If Nate's mom wouldn't have left you, we would be a family right now, wouldn't we? What I mean, is that Nate and I would have grown up together. We would have been brothers."

"If Nate's mom would have given me the chance…yes, we would have, but she left me. And she took my kid with her. I'm thinking that the woman I thought I knew didn't really exist."

"Well, from what Nate told me of her and what you've described, she does dad. She does exist. Nate wants me to meet her, for Christmas. I think I'll go. I sort of want to meet the woman who would have been my mother."

"You are going to meet Isabella?" I asked my son in utter astonishment.

"Yeah-" he answered before he was cut off by Nate…his brother.

"That was my mother. She called to see how my day was going. And to make sure that I was still coming home for Christmas. I told her yes. I was wondering if you guys-both of you- would like to come home with me. Give my mother a real Christmas surprise."

AN:I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Um I think this story is really coming to an End. The characters just aren't talking to me anymore and I really don't want to drag it out longer than need be. I'll write about two-to-three chapters but no more than three. I hope by than the characters would have said all that they needed to say. Anyhow-thanks for reading and staying with this story. Love ~FMJ~