AN: Sorry for the late as all mutha-fuckin' hell update, but I got lost on the road of life... No wait, I knew exactly what I was doing. Sorry. I wasn't lost... Just too much damn traffic on it. My mom having breast cancer kinda was the kicker. She's doing fine now, sans a knocker.
There's something on my rant I forgot to mention about Yaoi... Why is it that in all yaoi fics that I've read that EVERYONE is gay? Is the writer trying to kill off the world's population or something? No, can't be. It'd make more sense if everyone was at least bi. That way populating the world wouldn't be as physics defying or as debauched... Seriously, mpreg? Who was the mental reject that thought that was in any way a plausible way for two guys to be stuck together in fanfiction...?
Anyway, I'm going to answer some general questions here that I'm too lazy to directly respond to.
Yes, Naruto is going to have a bloodline... Maybe two. He already has one in canon, regardless of how obscure they make it, him being a Jinchuuriki and all. "Is it the Kyuubi? Is he just special, and not just special enough to ride the short bus...?" In this story, it's cuz he's an Uzumaki and a descendant of the Rikudou Sennin. Whatever I do, deal wid' it.
Harem, Harem, Harem... What to do...? People have asked me that, as well as the pairing. I have no clue whether to make this a harem or not, but I will tell you this, and this should be a redundant statement with my quote/unquote epic rant that I posted recently. Hinata will NOT be paired with him, or in a harem with him should I so choose to put him in one.
Y'know, it's funny, since years ago I was a devout naru/hina zealot. Now I just tolerate it. Maybe it's cuz the appeal of the gigantic knockers she's developed have worn off... And the fact that 75% of women in anime/manga have chests that grew 5 sizes that day?
Anyway, (again) glad I wasn't bombed with hate upon unbridled hate with the posting of that rant. Not that it would have affected me a whole lot... I would have been a little irked though. *shrugs*
Enough with the trivialities, onto the chapter. I felt I made everything just a bit too convenient in this one... I mean, really. Am I that lazy? Er... Don't answer that. I guess I just got sick of those wonderful fics that drag on f o r e v e r with absolutely no plot development, and by the time the plot starts developing, the writer is 13 chapters in and they haven't even returned from the two and a half year training trip, taken off to the wave mission, or left Konoha to go on the two and a half year training trip. Not to mention the writer gets bored from writing. Well, no shit! No plot development for 100K words will make anyone lose their mind, unless you are completely enthralled by the mundane!
For those who are wondering what some of the words I'm writing mean, follow what applies to you.
1. Go to school children, and stop reading M rated fics
2. Go upstairs and check your mother's dictionary
3. Yes, those words are English check a dictionary and stop proving that Americans are stupid.
4. Yeah, those words actually can be used on the internet in this era. Surprising! Shame that no one does. I blame cell phones for that.
19 year olds shouldn't sound like old men... We gots a problem, folks.
Chapter Four, Savior's Ascension
Jishirin Hot Springs, male side
"Aah... I needed this..." Hiashi sighs blissfully. "You got us the full spa treatment, correct?"
"Of course! I'm not stingy like granny is!" Naruto retorts. "We have two days here, since we left early. So, we get to relax for a while." Hiashi let a smile grace his face and sighed in contentment.
"Oh, Kakashi-sensei told me that you were on my mom's team when you were genin... What was she like...?" Hiashi abruptly froze and his face paled faster than a splash of white paint tossed on a not-pale surface.
"Sh-she scared me..." Hiashi stuttered out. Naruto's jaw was agape for a few seconds before bursting into a roaring laugh that scared away the crows, them squawking "Baka!"
"Wow, how bad was she...?" Naruto managed to get out after catching his breath. Hiashi shuddered visibly.
"Her nickname was the Red Hot Blooded Habanero... For good reason." Hiashi began. "Even though her chakra control in conventional, low-level techniques was horrible, she was feared for another reason; her fiery red hair that splays out like a demon's when angered, high chakra reserves, incredible sealing skills, incredible vitality and the ability to withstand wounds that normal people would die from, but most of all, her Chakra Chains."
"Huhn? Chakra chains...?" Naruto repeated, tilting his head. Hiashi nodded before shifting his position. His ass cheek was falling asleep.
"Yes. I'm not sure whether all Uzumaki were able to do it, but it's something she was really good at. Using her chakra she would physically manifest the power to seal in the form of those chains." Hiashi explained. "Even now, I'm still not quite sure on that explanation she came up with..."
"Hm... She said it was a physical manifestation of sealing? Then why are they called... Chakra... Chains..." Naruto trails off, his face lighting up in surprise. "I get it! The physical manifestation of seals... The seals themselves don't work in the air! They need something to apply themselves to, so she created something like those chakra strings and applied the sealing chakra to them that way...!"
"That makes sense, and yet it is absolutely impossible to understand." Hiashi deadpans. "How is sealing chakra different than regular chakra?"
"Normally, it isn't. But I guess it can be considered like the elemental chakra, I suppose." Naruto explains to Hiashi, AND himself.
"Naruto-kun, did you know that the Rikudou Sennin was capable of creating something from nothing with only his chakra...?" A female voice asks from the other side of the wall.
"Konan-chan? How long were you there listening...? And also, what?"
"That's right... The Rikudou Sennin was able to create objects with just his chakra... And I remember that whenever Kushina-chan would use a high level Uzumaki sealing technique, chains would manifest themselves to do the task..." Hiashi adds, finger on his chin in contemplative thought.
"So... You're saying that my mom was bullshitting you with her explanation...?" Hiashi faceplanted in the hot water immediately on hearing that.
"Maybe not, Naruto-kun... I think she was just unable to explain it... Knowledge of the sage's abilities is hard to come by, so she was probably just trying the best she could based on what she knew..." Konan mused. "I think that the Uzumaki sealing abilities are really just the Rikudou Sennin's ability to create things from nothing... I think the chains themselves are just the default object created when your mother did that, since that apparently was what happened with Uzumaki sealing techniques..."
"Oh. So theoretically, I should be able to do that too?" Naruto asks. Hiashi stands up abruptly, leaving the baths, muttering something about "I re-he-he-heally don't need to have any flashbacks when I go to bed tonight..."
"Did Hiashi-sama leave?" Konan asks.
"Yeah... I wonder why?" Naruto responds.
"Did he say anything of note?"
"Naw, just muttering about nightmares with tomatoes. Not sure what he could mean by that, but what the hell, ne?" Naruto chirps back. "So, d'you think I could do that chakra chain thing?"
"Well..." Konan put a finger to her chin in contemplation. She could hear Naruto start to shift nervously in the other side of the onsen. Deciding to milk it for all that it was worth, she decided to delay any real helpful comments. "Hm..."
Naruto was sucking on the bottom of his lip, giving the dividing wall the puppy-eye stare, despite it being an inanimate object. Konan quirked a smile at the thought of his impatient squirming and decided to be productive again.
"I guess. Couldn't hurt to try." Konan said finally, with a shrug. Not that Naruto could see that... If he did, he would have passed out from blood loss, so it's probably for the best. "I don't think I could be of any help though, since I've never seen anything like that being used."
"NOOOOOO- wait, did you say that I can?" Konan stifled a giggle at his scream.
"I didn't say that, now did I? I said that you might be able to..."
'Well, I said "I guess", but he isn't going to nitpick the details.'
"Hell yeah! I'm gonna start working on it now!" He shouted gleefully to the heavens, his reward being a pile of bird crap that missed him just barely.
-With Kami-
"Oh, just shut up, kid... I'm trying to sleep here...!"
Pblt!
-With Naruto-
*Splat*
"Hoo, that was close. Good thing I moved when I did. Damn, did an Albatross make that one? Yeesh." Naruto said, appreciating his luck at the moment, scratching the back of his head in his usual manner. "Meh, whatever. Kagebunshin!"
"Yeah, whaddya want?" A naked Naruto clone asked. Naruto wordlessly dispelled all the clones he summoned with a grimace.
'Er... I think I'll go put some clothes on first.'
- Clothes having been donned-
"You know, I would have been fine with you not getting dressed." Konan said in a blase manner, chin resting in her hand as she stared in a bored manner at the now clothed Naruto. Said Naruto turned the reddest he had ever turned, steam coming from his ears and all.
"E-e-errr... U-u-uhh... Nyuh... " Intelligent response, of course.
"Words, Naruto-kun. We use our words to speak." Konan chided playfully.
"Y-yeah? W-well, it's not often that someone tells me that they'd like to see a hundred-plus naked copies of yourself running around!"
'Although...' He thinks to himself, Konan in mind. 'No! Bad Naruto!'
"Hahahahahah! Well, I'm surprised it hasn't occurred to many of the women in Konoha." When someone represses any sexual desire for a long period of time, it'll tend to come out in an odd manner. Even if said person is generally naive about the subject.
With Konan, seeing Naruto clad only in a towel resulted in the thought of "pleasant!" Now, multiply that by 100. "PLEASANT TIMES ONE HUNDRED! SHUTDOWN IMMINENT! SQUEEEE!" Especially if your sensei has ever been Jiraiya at one point or another, you'll be bound to some form of scarring. Even if it has not been understood what the scarring is at first...
Konan was shaken from her reverie to see what looked like 300 Narutos... Looking constipated.
'Well, there went that. Need to make sure that there aren't 300 filled pairs of pants in the next few minutes...'
"Naruto-kun, I don't think that's the way you should do it..." Said she, with a deadpan look. Naruto stopped trying to go super-saiyan (tm) and looked back at the paper user.
"Eh? How would you do it, Konan-chan?"
"I would stop just trying to expel chakra from my body... Among other things..." Konan spoke the last part to herself. "Maybe it would help if you tried envisioning chains or whatever doing some sort of task for you?"
"Like what, S&M?" Naruto responded with immediately. There's more of that good old fashioned Jiraiya scarring!
"Uh, maybe later." Konan answered with a facepalm, which was used to conceal her blush. Gathering herself, images gone from her head at the moment, she tried again. "Maybe you could imagine them impaling that tree over there...?"
"Sure. Nnng...!"
"And try not to look like you're constipated..." Konan deadpanned.
And that's it for now. Short? Yes. Do you care? Substantially. Do I? Not particularly.
One of my reviews said something along the lines of me being "one of the best authors on the site".
... I most certainly am not! ...Although I do appreciate the sentiment.
Time for eighteen thousand favorite/alert notices in my inbox, but only 10 review alerts. You guys are doing it on purpose, aren't you?
To the stalkers of my other fics *cough* Reishin *cough* Orchamus *cough*, I'm working on those too, so please stretch that patience even more. I've been getting stuck on the road of life, because there's too much damn traffic holding me up!