First

James and Lily

A/N: If you made it past chapter one, hooray! You're a good man, Charlie Brown. I have to thank my dear friend Erik for her involvement in this chapter, as well as all of you for your patience. It means the world to me. Next chapter: Tonks and Remus! It will hopefully be a little less sickening than what you are about to witness. As always, if you dig it, let me know. If there's anything I can do better, let me know! Concrit is always welcome. Read on, brave soldiers! Read on!

You're the only way to me, the path is clear.

What do I have to say to you?

For God's sake, dear.

Just say yes.

-Snow Patrol, Just Say Yes

Lily had been aiming for Head Girl since her first day at Hogwarts. She had worked for it. Sweated for it. Term after term, she had gotten excellent marks, tutored underclassmen, racked up countless house points and demonstrated remarkable moral fiber, whatever that was. It was not as if the position had fallen into her lap unbidden; Lily aimed to excel, and she had earned the distinction. She enjoyed it, too. A natural leader, aching for direction in an uncertain world, Lily found purpose in guiding and protecting her fellow students. It helped her make sense of things.

There were downsides, of course. Leisure time was hard to come by. Her social life was suffering, though she had grown used to that in the past few years. And with NEWTS looming on the horizon and the necessity of rounds in such dangerous times, she was losing more than a little shut eye.

Of course, it might have been easier to manage rounds if James was ever around to make them.

She was running late that night. Peeves had held her up outside of Flitwick's classroom for nearly half an hour, whisking unsuspecting portraits off the walls and dangling them high in the air until their inhabitants wailed for mercy. The sun had just set and a six scroll essay was waiting to be written, so it happened that Lily wanted nothing more than to get through her rounds and get back to the common. With any luck, she could finish her homework and squeeze three or four hours of uninterrupted sleep before dawn.

But Lily would have no luck.

"Hurry up!"

"Calm down. Dissendium."

The whispers were a corridor away, and inwardly, Lily swore in a very unLilylike fashion. The temptation to pretend she hadn't heard a thing, to turn around and call it a night, was briefly overwhelming; mischief would run rampant through Hogwarts whether she was there to thwart it or not. But that was not the sort of Head Girl Lily had set out to be, and so, with a heavy sigh, she held up her head and strode down authoritatively down the hall toward the source of the ruckus.

"Alright, there had better be an awesome reason for breaking cur-"

The Marauders froze like deer in headlights.

Lily's mouth fell open.

Peter, who had been heaving himself through a conspicuous opening in the old witch statue when Lily walked in, lost his grip and tumbled out of sight. A thump and a yelp quickly followed.

"Whoops," said James. "Wormtail, you dead?"

"I'm good!"

"He's good," James assured the others.

Lily sputtered wordlessly, looking from guilty face to guilty face. Remus had the good sense to look abashed, but Sirius couldn't be bothered with anything but undisguised exasperation. James simply grinned. She could have strangled him.

"What," Lily finally managed. "What in the name of – James – explain. Right now."

"Get rid of her, Prongs," Sirius quipped. He pulled himself up to the cavern in the hump as Peter had done before him, albeit with substantially more grace. "You have a knack for sending her running."

James shoved him through the opening in response. By the sound of it, he landed on Peter.

"James Potter, you are Head Boy! Lord only knows why, but you are, and you have responsibilities!" ranted Lily, arms in the air, a creature of pure vengeance. Remus took the opportunity to disappear down the mystery passage, safely out of her range. "The hallways aren't safe and NEWTs are coming up and you're blowing off rounds and leaving them to me, to – to..." she paused, confusion warring for dominance with anger. "What are you doing?"

"Something excellent." James sauntered up, all smiles and sober charm. It made Lily very nervous. He leaned towards her in the most conspiratorial way possible and in a pitched whisper, he asked, "Do you want to see?"

"What? No! I don't – why is there a tunnel in the witch? Was there always a tunnel in the witch?" Confusion was winning.

"Come on," rang Sirius' voice from below.

"James-"

"We're on a bit of an errand, see. An important one. Can you keep a secret?" James asked.

"I don't want to keep your secrets!"

James waited patiently. Through her glare, Lily pursed her lips. She crossed her arms and shifted her weight. The seconds dragged on. James raised his eyebrows.

"Just tell me," she huffed at last.

"Are you sure? Because you don't-"

"Yes!"

He grinned. "I can't tell you. Adventures don't work that way. But if you're feeling brave, I can show you. You need to learn to live a little, Lily. Think you can weather a little bit of adventure?"

Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, a gesture James' presence often seemed to drag out of her. It wasn't that she was a killjoy; in truth, Lily possessed a wild streak to be wary of, and part of her had always wondered what James and his buddies got up to while the rest of them sat around the fire. But she was tired. She had work to do, and it irritated her that James seemed somehow immune to the stress of it all. Could Head Girl give Head Boy detention? She would have to double check the Hogwarts by-laws.

"I have to finish rounds, James."

"We'll do them as soon as you get back," James assured her. "Promise. You're already behind, right? You should have been through here half an hour ago. So it doesn't matter when we finish. Late is late."

"I have a massive essay to write."

"You're the fastest quill in Gryffindor! You need a break, Lily. Come on." His eyes sparked with a wicked and knowing light. "Let me show you something excellent."

Lily stared dubiously. Common sense argued clearly and loudly against listening to any suggestion made by James Potter, particularly while in the throes of breaking an entire litany of school rules, but she was curious. She was so curious. Lily could have stood there fighting it, denying it all night, but it wouldn't change the fact that he had won before the conversation began.

"You're taking rounds tomorrow," Lily muttered, pocketing her wand and making for the hunchbacked witch. James' grin could have powered all of northern Scotland.

He stretched out his arms in an offer to help Lily through, but she brushed him off. Instead, she mimicked what she had seen the Marauders do moments earlier, heaving herself up and contorting her body to slip through the opening. The slide came as a surprise. It was better than a sudden drop, but not by much, and her landing was not a particularly graceful moment. The first three boys stood in a semi-circle, wands lit, staring.

"Really?" Sirius groaned.

Remus managed more civility.

"Hi, Lily," he said, extending a hand to help her up. This aid she gratefully accepted. "You okay?"

"Peachy keen." As soon as she righted herself, James appeared beside her. He managed to do so without falling over. Good for him. "Is this tunnel even safe?"

"No," said Sirius. "It's going to collapse any minute now. It'll kill us all. You should run for it."

James popped him one. A brief scuffle ensued, but they were all soon making their way down the narrow passage in something resembling harmony. Lily was left to wonder what was wrong with the opposite gender.

"I think it's really cool that you're coming with us," Peter was chattering, by her side at a trot. "How did Prongs convince you?"

"I'm not really sure," Lily muttered, and it was the truth.

"Well, Padfoot just lost, like, the biggest bet ever-"

"Wow, Wormtail, why don't you scamper on ahead before I kick your ass so hard you collapse into a singularity?" James suggested cheerfully. Peter decided to take his advice and left Head Boy and Girl to bring up the rear.

"A bet, huh?" Lily asked. James waved it off.

"Wild imagination, that boy. Doesn't know what he's talking about, crazy bets made in fourth year. We try to take care of him."

"I'm sure." Lily eyed him critically, but there was no sense in fussing too much. He'd already gotten her into the bloody tunnel. "Seriously, though, where does this lead? How long have you been doing this?"

"A while," he admitted, sidestepping her first question. "Practically always. You wouldn't believe how many secrets this castle has. Secret passageways, secret rooms, entire towers students never set foot in."

"And you know them all?"

James barked a laugh. "No way. I think we know the place better than any other group of students ever has, but no way. I don't think it's even possible to know it all."

"How have you never been expelled?" Lily marveled.

"Luck and favoritism," he admitted, shooting the girl a sideways smile. "So what do you think, Lily? Is my luck gonna run out tonight?"

"That depends on where you're taking me."

The smile turned into a smirk. It worried her.

The tunnel stretched further than Lily would have expected. For forty minutes they walked, wand light bouncing along ahead of them, footfalls mixing with the jokes, snorts and threats of the boys into a clatter that echoed all around them. James hadn't been kidding when he claimed they had been using these passages for ages. The four of them knew the route so well that Lily suspected they could have gotten there in the dark. She on the other hand had to keep the narrow beam of milky blue light her wand provided fixed on her feet and one hand on the wall. The ground varied so much, sloping up and down seemingly at random, that stumbling was inevitable otherwise.

Eventually, though, Lily was pretty sure she detected a more gradual and consistent upward tilt to the path, and the noise of their procession took on a different quality, as if the walls around them were growing thinner. She began to suspect that they were nearing their destination, but the abrupt dead end still came as something of a surprise.

The Marauders turned to her.

"Uh," she managed.

"You never did tell me if you could keep a secret," James explained.

Lily looked around at her new companions, examining the boys she had grown up with in a more thoughtful way than perhaps she ever had. They seemed inviting enough. Even Sirius, who made no secret of his distaste for her, was regarding Lily with benign humor flickering in his eyes. Something about it was exciting. The inclusion, she supposed. Against her better judgment, Lily could feel herself begin to smile.

"I can keep a secret," she assured them.

"Do you solemnly swear that you are-"

"Don't push it."

"Good enough," Sirius proclaimed. "The ginger's in." He placed his palms flat against the ceiling and shoved; a square of solid rock popped free and light came pouring in. Lily blinked hard, blinded. She could just make out Sirius leading the troops up a squat, narrow staircase and she trailed after them, the last to surface from the darkness.

She found herself in a wide, dusty room, well lit and stacked high with boxes. A staircase hugged the far wall and led to an open through which voices poured. Most of the Marauders were already thundering their way up, and the unmistakable sound of welcome rose from whatever room they had entered.

"I don't get it," Lily said. "Where-"

"Potter!" A familiar voice called out. "You down there, boy? Bring a case of ice mice up with you, alright?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Filligree," James answered. Apparently familiar enough with the room to know its contents, he hoisted up an unmarked box without bothering to check it and gestured for Lily to lead the way. She did, and upon her entrance, nearly laughed out loud.

"Honeydukes?" she asked, incredulous.

"Honeydukes," James agreed. He dumped his box on the front counter and gave an aged shopkeep a friendly smile. "Here y'go, sir. You've met my good friend the lovely Lily Evans, right?"

Lily bobbed her head politely. She had seen the man hundreds of times in passing, of course, but they had never spoken beyond pleasantries and transactions. She didn't expect him to know her from-

"Lily Evans, is that right? You the little girl that's spent the past couple years giving Potter trouble?"

Laughter erupted from Peter, Remus and Sirius, currently engaged in the serious business of stuffing their pockets with sweets. Lily flushed magnificently.

"On and the same," James confirmed.

"Hm." The old man peered at Lily through the thickest glasses she had ever seen. "You are a pretty one. Well, good for you. Potter causes enough trouble. He should get as good as he gives."

Lily liked him instantly.

"Standard run tonight, Mr. Filigree," James was telling him.

"Win a match, did you?"

"Getting ready for winning tomorrow." He left a small pile of galleons on the counter. "That ought to cover it all. Keep the change, yeah?"

So that was how Gryffindor was always ready for a celebration. Lily had wondered.

The little shop was more crowded than Lily would have expected at that hour. A handful of witches and wizards milled about, killing time or picking up provisions, and they all seemed to know the Marauders. She had never laid eyes on the shop without the entire student body trying to cram itself inside, though, and was surprised to find it as clean and spacious as it was. She jabbed James playfully in the shoulder.

"All that pomp and mystery and your grand adventure is Honeydukes? A sweet shop?"

"What were you expecting?" James laughed.

"I don't know!" Lily threw her hands in the air. "Somewhere special! Somewhere in the Forbidden Forest or – or something."

"You wanted to go to the Forbidden Forest?"

"No!"

"Because if you want, I can always escort you."

"No." It was her turn to laugh. "No, thank you. This is the big errand you just had to run during rounds, huh?"

He nodded solemnly. "Can't let Gryffindor down. We're hitting Zonko's after this. It's important work, Lily. A matter of morale."

"How did you even find the passage in the first place?"

"Ah, now," said James, "that is a secret for another adventure."

He was intolerable.

Most of their loot wound up stuffed into a satchel Peter clutched. Lily hung back and watched the process; chocolate frogs, treacle fudge, pepper imps, acid pops, chocoballs, the works. In it all went. They seemed determined to clean the place out.

"You want anything special, Lily?" Remus asked. She shook her head politely.

"Prongs is paying," Peter pointed out.

In went an extra package of cauldron cakes.

By the time they bade Mr. Filligree goodbye and tumbled out of the shop, even Lily was feeling giddy with the pleasure of breaking a rule or two. They were overwarm with laughter, and when a welcome shock of cold night air rolled over their reddened faces, Lily gasped. It was snowing.

This was nothing unusual in Scotland, of course. The first snow had fallen a few days earlier and a thin layer of the stuff already covered most of the grounds. But this, this was picturesque. This was greeting card perfect. Light spilled from the windows of homes and businesses, and while weak, it was light enough to make out the fat, lazy flakes making their way to earth. Though it was early enough for the village to still be busy, most residents were huddling indoors and staying as warm as possible. The result was a sparsely populated street with a deep, muffling silence, like the world had gone still. It was all so untouched. They were visitors on a foreign shore, the first ambassadors to an alien land, the only people left in Britain.

Just the five of them.

The stillness was shattered by the whizz of a compact object sailing through the air and the subsequent splat of impact. James whirled around, snow in his hair. Sirius took off running, but it was too late; the fight was on.

Years later, Lily still wouldn't be able to explain what happened that night. She didn't know who hit her or if it was even intentional – it probably wasn't, as until that moment, none of them would have dared. But regardless of how it happened, Lily Evans took a snootful of snow and Remus was the first thing she saw. There was no hesitation after that. Snowballs flew in every direction, sometimes finding their mark but more often veering off into space, slapping the sides of houses and benches. Their laughter echoed to the castle and back. Some of the little village's residents peeked out of windows and doors, alarmed by the ruckus, but no, it was just the Potter boy and his friends. What hooligans.

Peter and Remus had managed to band together long enough to chase Sirius down the street. Lily took the opportunity to nail James in the nose once, twice, thrice; she had excellent aim. He threw his arms up in defense, backing away from the onslaught.

"Mercy!" he cried. "Truce! Armistice!"

"Do you surrender?"

"Yes, dammit! No more!"

Lily held her fire. She was not without compassion.

James' arms dropped enough for him to peek out at her. They were both a soggy, shivering mess, panting and grinning, and one glance was enough to send them into hysterics. Lily had to lean on her knees to keep herself upright as she laughed. It felt good to laugh.

Seemed like it had been a while.

"Lily Evans," James was wheezing, "I've got to say, I am glad you caught us tonight. You are actually a lot of fun."

"You've never given me a chance to be fun," Lily pointed out.

"Well you never gave me a chance at all."

"Not without cause, James."

"No," he admitted. "I guess not."

For a moment, the pair regarded each other in silence. More than six years they had known each other. History stretched out between them in that narrow street, six years of mistakes and misunderstandings, harsh words spoken in pride and anger; Lily remembered them all. But he had grown. A blind woman could see that the James Potter before her, thumbs hooked into his pockets, snow clinging to his shoulders, this James Potter was a good man. Or he was growing into one, anyway. That counted for something.

"I'm sorry," James said. "I've never really said it, but I am. For everything. I was a dick. I just didn't think everything through, but I was sort of a stupid kid. We took it too far. And I'm sorry."

One side of Lily's mouth tilted into a strange, accepting half-smile, and she nodded. "Yeah. I know you are. It's nice to hear it out loud, though. When did you change so much?"

He shrugged. "There's a war on, you know? We don't have much longer to pretend the world is good and perfect. Someday soon, we'll all have to step up to protect each other. Have to grow up sometime."

"Mm." Some part of the conversation warmed Lily all the way through. She didn't feel the night chill or the snow leaking through her cloak, but neither of them were dressed for reindeer games, and James looked colder than she did. Without thinking, Lily closed the gap between them to dust the snow off his shoulders and out of his hair. A bolt of lightning bounced through them both when her fingertips grazed the back of his neck. Lily was suddenly and horribly aware that she stood hip deep in dangerous territory, as she always did when James got too close; it was like dancing in a minefield every time they spoke.

"So, does this count as our first date?" James asked in a slightly strangled tone of voice.

"Oh no. No. Absolutely not," she breathed. "You'll have to do a whole lot better than this for our first date."

James' eyebrows raised for the second time that night. "Better than a secret tunnel to a magical sweet shop?"

"It's only a date if we're alone, for starters."

Sirius was currently running past, levitating a man-sized snowball in Peter's direction and laughing like a madman.

"Yeah, I can see how that could help," James mused, going so far as to give his chin a thoughtful scratch. "But it seems like a waste of a storybook snowfall, you know?"

Lily did know.

She didn't regret following this boy down the proverbial rabbit hole, and she didn't pull away when he dared to push an errant lock of wet hair away from her face. He was right, of course. Lily hadn't always been entirely fair to him, and the blame belonged to them both. It seemed like an awful lot of time wasted on immaturity and stubbornness. Her heart skipped and beat erratically, joy and fear tumbled through her veins in equal measure and each breath was a wonderful struggle; as big as it felt, as big and dangerous as this moment was, Lily was alive. How much time had she wasted not feeling this way?

It wasn't a total surprise when James bent down to brush his lips over hers. It seemed like the thing to do in that particular moment. What was surprising was the bliss that blew through her, the squeal of pleasure that bubbled up in her throat, the way everything suddenly came into perfect focus. She was a pretty enough girl and she had kissed her fair share of boys, but James was not those boys. Lily was forcibly reminded of the moment she had found her wand; that first incredible pulse of magic running through every inch of her, realizing she had been missing part of herself all her life and now here it was. A perfect match.

When they parted, wonder in their eyes, neither could think of anything to say. James was the first to laugh, and Lily soon followed. What else could they do? He cupped her face and kissed her again, kissed her chin, her forehead, kissed the snow off her eyelashes, anchoring himself to her as if she was the earth itself. That was when Lily knew. She knew right away that this would be her life, and nothing else would ever do. Only this. It was possible one or more of his friends were hooting something obnoxiously lewd, but who cared? They were idiots.

And she sort of loved them all.

"Hey!" An unfamiliar voice barked. The little pack of troublemakers all looked up abruptly. A stout older wizard in a ridiculous blue uniform was glowering at them from across the street. "What in the Blue Isle of Avalon are you kids doing out here? It's not safe these days! You snuck out of the castle, didn't you? I ought to escort you to the Headmaster myself-"

Dragon bogies. Someone had called the constable.

The Zonko's trip would have to wait. As one, the Marauders fled, Lily's hand firmly caught in James'. They were going in a different direction than the way they had come, so Lily supposed they would be returning by a different passage; another secret they would make her privy to. It wasn't so bad, being a Marauder.

"Wait until our first date," James panted. "I'll show you something really wild."

Another minefield to dance in. Lily was sure of it.