Chapter 9

A little over a month had passed since Elizabeth's first date with Will. A peaceful contentment had settled over her life, which was exciting but also highly convenient. Summer holiday would start in a few weeks, which meant that the Swann's anniversary celebration was just around the corner. Emma's birthday would follow immediately afterward, and the girl had already started planning her party, though the theme had changed several times just within the past week. Despite the busy schedule ahead of her, Elizabeth's enthusiasm continued to bubble and was noticeable to everyone around her. The most observant was her good friend Karen, who had joined her for a Saturday afternoon playground date in a park near Karen's home.

"Stop smiling so much. Just looking at you makes my face hurt," Karen teased.

"You should smile more then," Elizabeth shot back.

Her friend's eyebrows rose. "Oh, you're a cheeky monkey today. Looks like those two boys you hang around with are bad influences."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Andy has always been a bad influence."

"Truer words were never spoken," Karen observed as she rummaged through the lunch bag for sandwiches.

"Where's Felix? I thought he was coming along with you."

Karen sighed. "He got called into work this morning. Apparently one of his constables lost a bit of paperwork, and he had to go sort out the mess."

"It sounds like the work of a sergeant is a lot less exciting."

Karen shrugged. "I think he likes being in charge. Makes me feel better knowing he's spending just a little less time on the streets."

Elizabeth called the two children to the table, and the four of them sat down for lunch. The kids were so excited about going back to play that the women had to remind them to eat slowly lest they choke on their food. After a few minutes, Elizabeth received a call from Will.

"Hello?"

His voice was lowered as if he were hiding from someone. "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't made it to the park. This wedding shoot is still in the studio."

"I can barely hear you. What's going on?" she asked.

"The bride from hell has been let loose. One of the groomsmen showed up completely tanked, and it's been chaos ever since. I'm taking a secret break from the madness."

"Sounds bad."

"That's putting it lightly," he said, his voice grim. "I've got to go, but I promise I'll make it over to your place tonight. Tell Karen and the kids I said hello."

"I will," she promised and then hung up. "Will's trapped at the studio with a bride from you-know-where," she said, careful to avoid vulgar language.

"But Will was supposed to push me on the swings!" Emma cried.

Elizabeth reached over to smooth her hair. "I'm sorry, poppet. He won't be able to make it this time, but he said he'd be over tonight."

"But he promised!" she whined.

Karen's son, Oliver, piped in. "I'll push you on the swings, Emma!"

It only took about two seconds of consideration before she forgot all about Will and cheerfully exclaimed, "Okay!" before running off with him.

"Look at those two," Karen remarked. "They're completely taken with one another aren't they?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Emma says he's her boyfriend."

Karen's eyebrows rose once again. "Does she now? That's adorable. Gave up on Will, did she?"

"It didn't take long for Emma to figure out something was different between the two of us," she explained.

"What's this?" Karen asked. "You never told her you were dating?"

"I was waiting for the opportune moment," she explained. "She just beat me to it, is all."

Karen leaned in eagerly. "What happened?"

"Will was over, and we were watching Aladdin, and she…figured it out."

Elizabeth's friend scoffed. "That's it? What, did she catch you in a compromising position?"

"What? No! We were watching a Disney movie!"

Karen continued smirking at her. "Um, Lizzie, have you ever watched a Disney movie? I mean, really watched it? Like…watched it with your adult eyes open?"

"Will had his arm around me. We might have been holding hands. I can't remember. She just asked if I was his girlfriend, and we told her the truth," Elizabeth continued, ignoring Karen's sarcastic remark.

Karen smiled and took a sip of her water. "That makes more sense, then."

"Honestly, Karen. I wouldn't do something scandalous in front of my daughter. Besides," she added, "Will and I haven't..."

"You are such a liar, Elizabeth! You told me that you and Will – "

"I just meant that we haven't been intimate lately," Elizabeth interrupted.

"It was that bad, huh?" Karen asked sympathetically, patting Elizabeth on the hand.

"No, it was wonderful."

"Then why haven– "

"Because," Elizabeth interjected, "I just don't want to rush things."

"You didn't exactly start things slowly, you know," she observed, laughing.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "I know but given our history, I don't want to mess this up."

Karen clicked her fingernail against her cup nonchalantly and peered up to regard her friend. Pursing her lips, she finally she asked, "What sort of history?"

"Well, we've been friends for years, of course. That lasted through uni, and…"

"And?" She prompted, leaning forward.

"And we might have had a few romps while there," she admitted reluctantly. Within the month she had divulged a closely kept secret to two of the people closest to her, and she had no idea why.

"Shut up! Elizabeth!" Karen exclaimed. It was obvious she was one second away from losing herself in a fit of giggles.

Elizabeth sighed. "You and Andy must have been separated at birth, what with the way you two love laughing at me."

"You told Andy before you told me?" she asked, pretending to be insulted.

"It sort of slipped out," Elizabeth shrugged.

"This is just…a cock-up. I can't believe you never told me until now."

"What does it matter?" Elizabeth asked. "It's like I told Andy, it usually happened while we were pissed."

"Pfft, no shame there!" Karen assured. She leaned even closer, her eyes on fire with all of this juicy information. "He's quite fit, you know. I'd've done the same, I would've. But I mean, awkward, right? Like, after?"

Elizabeth thought for a moment. It was true that the morning after the first encounter had been a little bizarre, but the two had laughed it off, attributing it to being too trolleyed the night before and gone about their business of the day. And despite having it off multiple times, Elizabeth never noticed any embarrassment between them with the exception of the last few times they were together.

"Personally, I never felt weird about it, but there were a few times I would wonder about Will. After the last few…encounters he seemed more withdrawn," she confessed.

"You never asked him about it?"

"Well, no," she admitted. "I never really thought about it. Once I tried talking to him, but he didn't seem interested."

"What did you say?"

"I just asked him how he felt, and whether we were ruining our friendship. I didn't feel that way, but I thought he was starting to get uncomfortable about it."

Karen looked sad. "It sounds like it was…uncomfortable, I mean."

Elizabeth's heart sank. "I was afraid of that. He never confirmed it."

"So, did your relationship suffer because of the…sex?" she asked, like the word tasted strange in her mouth.

"We didn't spend as much time together once Paul and I got serious, but I never considered why. And then when we were getting married…" she trailed off, pausing to think about something that had never occurred to her before. "Karen, do you think he left Brighton because of what we did?"

The young woman looked very hesitant to answer the question. "Look, Elizabeth, I'm not saying he did or didn't, but – "

"You think he did."

"I'm not saying that," she argued, "but I have to say—if it bothers you, talk to him about it."

At that moment, Emma ran up to them and exclaimed, "I'm thirsty!"

Elizabeth opened the bag to look for something to give her daughter. While she looked, Karen spoke. "Emma, your mum tells me that you've got a boyfriend."

"Yeah," she replies, uninterested.

"Who is he?" Karen asked.

"Oliver, and Will is Mum's boyfriend. They kissed."

Karen laughed and looked at Elizabeth. "Huh!" She turned back to Emma. "They really did?"

"Yes," the girl stated factually. "That's what boyfriends and girlfriends do."

At this moment Oliver ran over, and Elizabeth handed both of them some juice. Then she asked Emma, "Does that mean that you and Oliver kiss?"

Emma replied with a simple, "Yes," while Oliver shouted, "No!" This irritated the small girl, who put her hands on her hips and said, "Yes, you did, Oliver! Because I'm your girlfriend. And you're my boyfriend."

Little Oliver's face reddened, exposing his lie and embarrassment. He looked at his mother and said, "I didn't mean to kiss her. She did it."

Karen ruffled his hair, rolling her eyes. "Oliver, it doesn't matter. Besides, I think it's cute you've got yourself a little girlfriend."

He frowned, and when he finished his juice, he grabbed Emma's hand, leading them back to the swings. Both women spent the rest of the afternoon giggling over the little relationship their children shared.

That evening, Elizabeth and Emma were joined for dinner by Will and Andy, as well as their friend Jack. Elizabeth didn't know much about the sailor apart from the few instances she'd talked to him in the past. Jack had a rough personality and was utterly despicable at times, but because he was close with Andy and Will, Elizabeth allowed him into her home. He was presently engaged in one of his tall tales.

"And then I said, 'Now we're being followed by rocks. Never heard that before."

The men guffawed at his story, and Emma was shouting over them, "That was not funny, Jack! Your jokes are rubbish!"

Elizabeth shook her head in amusement as she cleared the empty plates from the table. Jack looked impressed with the small girl's candor. "Lizzie, your little tyke has got some bloody wit."

"Jack!" Elizabeth admonished.

"Whot?"

Andy slapped his friend on the back. "Language, mate. Not in front of the baby."

Hearing her uncle call her a baby infuriated Emma. "I'm not a baby. I have a boyfriend, you wanker!"

Will and Jack couldn't contain their mirth. Andy's face was filled with a mixture of astonishment and amusement, but Elizabeth almost dropped the plates she held when she heard her daughter's exclamation. "Emma! Where did you learn to say such things?"

Emma didn't look up from her angry glare with her uncle as she replied, "Jack said it."

The look Elizabeth shot at her brother's friend immediately quelled his laughter. His hands raised in the air to defend himself. "Don't bring me into this."

Before she could scold him, she heard Andy say, "Boyfriend? A two year old is too young for boys!"

"I'm almost six!"

"Who is this boy, then?"

"His name is Oliver."

Andy held a deadpan expression, but Elizabeth knew her brother was only teasing. The argument in front of her was so endearing that she completely forgot about Jack's language lesson. She put the dishes in the sink as the discussion continued.

"Well, you tell this Oliver fellow he's not allowed to take you anywhere until I talk to him."

Emma's demeanor was still serious. "He can't take me places, Andy. We're in primary."

"When he turns seventeen, you tell him to call me," he said as he ruffled her hair. "I need to lay down some rules. Rule number one: no kissing."

Elizabeth had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing when her daughter dramatically rolled her eyes and replied in a teenager-like voice, "We already did."

This time, Andy looked genuinely shocked. "You what?"

Emma didn't answer. She stood and walked down the hallway towards her room and called over her shoulder, "Good night!"

Elizabeth was reminded how very similar she and her daughter behaved as she watched her walk away and the reaction she left behind. When her brother stood to follow her, Elizabeth stopped him.

"Did you know about this?" he asked.

"I found out this afternoon."

"And you're fine with it?"

Elizabeth was a little surprised that this was upsetting him. "She's not going to stay a little girl forever. This isn't the same as a kiss two teenagers would share. It was innocent."

"Innocent my arse," he muttered.

"Stop being so overprotective," she admonished, leaving the men in the kitchen as she walked towards her daughter's room.

When she looked inside, she discovered that Emma had already changed and was turning down the blanket on her bed. Though invisible to the untrained eye, Elizabeth could see from her expression that the girl was upset.

"Everything okay?" Elizabeth asked.

Emma didn't look up and answered with a forced, "I'm fine."

"It looks like you're going to sleep early."

"We have to go to Grammy and Poppy's house tomorrow," she answered simply.

Elizabeth watched as she crawled under the blankets and then turned her back to her mother. Elizabeth sat down beside her daughter and stroked her hair. "Are you angry with your uncle?"

Emma responded immediately. "Yes."

"The thing you have to understand about your Uncle Andy," she explained, "is that he cares very deeply about his family, which also makes him do dumb things sometimes."

The girl turned over, and the pout on her face was an uncanny resemblance to Elizabeth's. "He treats me like a baby."

"Just between the two of us, I think he's a little scared."

"Why would Andy be scared?" she asked, clearly confused.

"He's not ready for you to grow up. He's probably scared that you'll forget all about him when you're older."

Emma's face relaxed from its stern expression and a small smile appeared. "He's off his rocker."

Elizabeth kissed her forehead. "Just let him know every once in a while that you still remember him, okay?"

The young girl nodded, and the two said their goodnights. Elizabeth closed Emma's door and thought about her daughter's maturation, and while she wasn't nearly as grown as Emma pretended to be, Elizabeth knew it wouldn't be long before she was sharing real kisses with real boyfriends. As if her mind was emphasizing the point, she suddenly realized that she hadn't been called "Mummy" in a long time. Before any sadness could envelop her, Elizabeth walked back into the kitchen to rejoin the others. She entered the room unnoticed by the three men. All three were standing, but Will looked as if he had just finished washing the dishes. Andy sounded as if he were trying to convince Will to go somewhere.

"Come on, you poofer. You going to stay here and wash the laundry too?"

"That poofer is shagging your sister mate," Jack pointed out.

Will grinned as he dried his hands, but Andy retorted, "Not bloody likely. I've not seen any bruises on her neck lately."

Insulted, Elizabeth interrupted their conversation. "Honestly, will none of you defend my honor?"

Her brother and his friend were dumbstruck, but Will's eyes grew wide as he feebly replied, "I washed the dishes."

Imitating Emma, Elizabeth rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek. "Good enough, I suppose. Where are these two gits trying to take you?"

"We invited him to the boat," Jack replied and pointed to himself and Andy.

"This late at night?"

Jack's dark eyes bored into hers. "Fishing at night can be extremely rewarding if one knows where to look."

Elizabeth knew from Andy's laugh that Jack's statement was more of a sex joke than fishing advice, but Will declined the offer before she could lecture either of them.

Jack shrugged. "Suit yourself, mate, but if you change your mind," he said, his eyes darting to Elizabeth, "give me a call."

Elizabeth ushered the two of them out of her house quickly and then returned to help Will put away the clean dishes. She told him about her conversation with Emma, and how she felt the same as Andy – that she wasn't quite ready for Emma to be as old as she was. Will pulled her into a hug.

"There's no way she could forget you," he assured her.

"I know," she sighed, "but I know what I was like as a teenager, and I just have this feeling she is going to be exactly like me."

"Hmm. I can see where that will be a problem."

Elizabeth smacked his arm. "That's not very encouraging."

Will laughed and kissed the top of her head. "She'll be fine, especially with you there to show her what to do and what mistakes to avoid."

Hearing him say the word "mistakes" reminded Elizabeth of her conversation with Karen earlier that day, and she decided to ask him about the reasons he left Brighton.

"It's funny you should mention mistakes, and I know this is going to sound like it's coming out of nowhere, but earlier today I starting thinking about our time spent together in uni."

"Yeah?"

"I never considered any of the consequences before."

Will stepped back to look at her, and she could tell he had no idea what she was talking about. "Consequences of what?"

"All those times we had it off."

"Oh."

There was a strange silence, and Elizabeth knew he was trying to figure out what he was supposed to say. She decided to explain a little further.

"At first it seemed harmless because we always fell back into normal routine afterward, and none of our friends knew. Both of us continued to date other people, and it just seemed like something we did when neither of us had any real commitments and we needed to just let loose for a few hours. But when I thought about it today, I realized that we probably destroyed more of our friendship than we realized at the time."

"Are you saying you don't feel close to me?"

"No. I'm so glad we've reconnected and that we're together now, but that's just it, Will. We shouldn't have had to reconnect. I feel like the reason we lost our friendship when Paul and I got married–"

"We never lost our friendship," he interrupted.

"But it wasn't the same," she argued.

"I was working out of town. You couldn't expect us to be together as often as we once were."

"But why did you have to go?" she asked.

Will was caught off guard with her question. "I had a contract to honor."

"Why did you sign one so close to my wedding? I wanted you to be there. I thought you wanted to be there."

"Of course I did, Elizabeth, but this wasn't something I could have changed."

"I would have for you had you been in my position."

"That's not fair," he said.

"Maybe it's not," Elizabeth admitted, "and maybe I'm being selfish, but I feel like we made a mistake with our sexual relationship, and it cost me your friendship until recently."

Will didn't respond and looked over her shoulder. She didn't know if she was being completely ridiculous and whether this worry was fabricated by paranoia. She felt terrible for upsetting him and apologized. "I'm sorry."

His voice was quiet when he said, "Me too." Then he sighed and continued, "I probably could have worked around my departure deadline, but in all honesty, I couldn't bring myself to attend your wedding."

The confession was not expected, and Elizabeth wasn't sure if she was imagining it. "What?"

He brought his eyes to hers once more. "When I introduced you to Paul, I didn't realize it at the time, but I was falling in love with you."

Elizabeth felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She suspected that the sex they'd shared impacted their friendship in a negative way because it was getting too complicated and that he perhaps felt uncomfortable having sex with his best friend, but she never considered the alternative because she had never felt any of those unspoken emotions. The thought had barely crossed her mind during their first date, but as quickly as it came, it had left.

Will continued, "When your wedding got close, I panicked. I looked for an escape, and the offer to travel with the modeling company was a perfect excuse. I knew it would have hurt you for me to leave without any justification or explanation, and I had hoped that the job offer would be understandable. The night before I left, when it was just you and me spending time together, it finally sunk in that we would never be together the same way, and it hurt too much to try and negotiate a different time to leave Brighton. It's embarrassing to admit that, and even more embarrassing to admit that I cried until I fell asleep, but there it is. I'm sorry, Elizabeth."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, placing her hands on his face.

"I couldn't. It wasn't your burden to bear," he explained.

"But I did bear it, didn't I? I just didn't know what it was."

"You were so happy, and I didn't want to ruin things more than I already had."

Elizabeth held him close. "I can't believe I didn't notice. I'm so sorry, Will."

"Well, now you know. If it makes you feel better, I promise I won't keep these burdens to myself any longer," he said, smiling.

She stood on her toes and kissed him soundly, doing her best to make up for the pain she unknowingly put him through. "I love you," she said.

"I never stopped loving you."

Elizabeth grabbed his hand and led him to her bedroom. For the first time, there was nothing rough or hurried in the touches they shared. And despite Will reminding her that they had decided to take the relationship slow, Elizabeth convinced him that occasionally bending the rules was acceptable.

A/N: Well, I just barely made the summer deadline...I apologize profusely for the delay in the update. There have been a lot of changes lately, one of which is my return to school. The motivation for this story was also at a standstill for so long, and every time I tried to begin the update process, the writing felt forced. I didn't want to publish something that was not satisfactory. While I'm still not entirely 100% satisfied with this one chapter, I do believe it's going to be easier to finish the story. That is a promise of mine. This story will be finished barring some unexpected sickness or death. I just may not be able to update as frequently as I would like.

I do want to send a tremendous thank you to oh-you-pretty-things for encouraging me to not rush things, as well as a huge thank you to williz for helping me do the dialog for this chapter. But most of all, thank you, the reader, for not giving up on this story or me.