a/n: Thank you very much, everyone who reviewed! It's really appreciated, honest! I swear, I reply to each of you (unless you're anon and I can't—but believe me, you are still loved. A lot).

Also, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE VERYVERYVERY LATE UPDATE. I was working on Sailor Sunrise, mostly (by the way, go read that. It has Japan in a skirt and giant blob-monsters in it), but I'll try not to let this happen again.

…who am I kidding? This'll happen again. I'm terrible about updating on time. [sulking in emo corner]

Hetalia!

The brothers wandered through the forest for a while, Feliciano still clutching the bundle. After they had traveled several hundred yards, it started making strange noises. They paused.

"Be~ What's it doing?" Feliciano asked.

"How am I supposed to know something like that?" Romano responded.

Feliciano peeled back the edge of the blanket to see that the baby had transformed into a red cylinder. It was fizzing.

"Throw it away, now!" Romano commanded, and Feliciano obediently tossed it into the bushes. There was a loud explosion.

"Be!" Feliciano exclaimed. "That was really weird!"

Romano rolled his eyes. "There's no need to state the obvious, idiot."

"And there is no need to be so rude, cher," an unknown voice said from somewhere above them. Both brothers looked up.

Perched on a branch of a tree was the man in the cat costume who had been in the Duchess's kitchen. He was grinning a slightly disturbing grin and waving at them.

Instantly, Romano was on his guard. "What the hell's up with that grin, you creep?" he demanded, stepping in front of his brother. "I've never seen a cat smile like that before!"

The man's grin only grew wider. "Then you have clearly never seen a Cheshire Cat, cher, for that is who I am. I see you have lost the baby."

"It turned into a thing that blew up!" Feliciano said helpfully. "And I'm looking for the White Rabbit—have you seen him?"

The Cheshire Cat waved a hand towards one of the many paths leading away from their current location. "He went that way."

"Who did?" Romano asked suspiciously.

"Did what?" the Cat said.

"Went that way!" Romano shouted.

"The White Rabbit!" the Cat said cheerfully.

"What about him?" Romano demanded.

"What?" the Cat said.

"What?" Romano said.

"What?" Feliciano said.

Romano smacked his forehead. "This is useless."

The Cheshire Cat shrugged. "I wouldn't know, cher, but if you wish to find someone, all you have to do is ask the Mad Hatter, or perhaps the March Hare. They might know where to find this Rabbit, but they're trés mad, you know."

"But I don't want to go among mad people!" Romano protested.

"Well, you cannot help that," the Cheshire Cat said. "I'm mad, you're mad—we're all mad here."

"I'm not mad!" Feliciano said. "At least, when I've taken my medication!"

"That doesn't count, idiot," Romano muttered.

"Whether or not that counts, you are both, in fact, mad," the Cheshire Cat said. "Otherwise, why would you be here?"

"That's a question I've been trying to figure out the answer to for a while," Romano muttered. "And the best answer I've come up with so far is that I followed my stupid little brother to make sure he didn't get hurt. And I'm not disputing that you're mad—you've got the creepiest grin I've ever seen—but how do you know you're mad? Normally genuine loonies think they're sane."

"The answer to that is quite simple, cher," the Cheshire Cat said flippantly. "You know how dogs growl when they are angry and wag their tails when they are pleased, oui?"

"Unfortunately," Romano growled.

"Well, I growl when I am pleased and wag my tail when I am angry," the Cat explained. The he winked. "Although when I am very pleased, certain other things wag."

Romano's eye twitched. He was slowly being driven insane by this crazy world. What the hell was up with this place, anyway? It was like some lunatic had invented it just to make Romano angry.

It was working. Romano was growing steadily more infuriated and if something drastic didn't happen soon, he was going to start killing people. He would start with his idiotic brother and this perverted cat-thing, and then continue with the crazy Duchess, the damn Caterpillar, and then he would finally find the damn White Rabbit, just to rip out his insides with a spork. He took a deep breath to prevent the rampage of slaughter for as long as possible. "Tell us how to get to where we can meet this Mad Hatter and March Hare and I might not kill you painfully."

The Cheshire Cat waved a hand at another of the many paths. "Go that way. They're probably having tea, but they've been doing that for weeks now. Have fun!" With that, he vanished slowly, piece by piece, until only the grin remained. Finally that, too, vanished, and the brothers were alone in the forest again.

"All right," Romano said, "we're going to find this Mad Hatter and this March Hare, and then we can find the damn rabbit-bastard, and then we can get out of this mad place. Bene?"

"Va bene!" Feliciano said, and they set off down the path.

Hetalia!

a/n: Short chapter is short. At least it's an update, right? [winces and dodges rotten tomatoes etc.] Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! I've already said that, right?

…right?

Disclaimer: Hah. As if.

Translations:

Cher: French for "dear"—it is my headcanon that this character calls everyone variations of this, much to the recipients' annoyance.

(Va) Bene: Italian for "good"/"okay"

If I have made any horrible mistakes, inform me of them.

Reviews are greatly appreciated! Please tell me what you think!