a/n: Um. Can I just say that I'm really sorry I haven't posted in forever? Please feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me. "OTL

Hetalia - Axis Powers and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland are not mine.

They could tell when they had nearly reached the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. The noise of whatever party (or possibly war) they were having spread into the surrounding forest like a disease.

Eventually, the brothers came upon a clearing in the woods. To one side there was a little house, and to the other there was a long table with many places set. Down at the far end of the table were three men, all wearing the absurd costumes that seemed commonplace for this place. There was one man with red eyes and crooked rabbit ears protruding from the snow-white thatch of hair that crowned his head. He seemed to be trying to chuckle and hiss at the same time; the result was a creepy "Kesesesesesese~" sound. He must be the March Hare, Romano thought.

The second man was familiar—he was the Mouse whom they'd met in the Pool of Tears. He looked rather sleepy and put-upon and was currently trying to remove the March Hare's arm from around his shoulders.

The last man was, in Romano's opinion, a complete idiot. He was wearing a hat far too large for him and a pleasant grin. (He had other clothes on too, but Romano didn't really notice them.) The hat had tomatoes on it. Romano wasn't sure if they were fake or not, but this lunatic might get points anyway, just for the tomatoes. He was most likely the Mad Hatter.

Romano wanted to assess the situation before making an entrance, but Feliciano ignored all principles of caution and bounded up to the table.

"Hey, you guys!" he said cheerfully. "Can I sit here? Wow, that cake looks good~"

The Mouse stood up abruptly. "No room here!" he said.

Romano, who had been waiting—not hiding, why would he be hiding, it wasn't like he was scared or anything—behind a tree, came storming into the clearing. "No room? There's plenty of room!" he declared, flopping down in one of the many empty chairs, glad to have a bit of a rest. He glared at the Mouse, Hare, and Hatter as if daring them to argue with him. He almost wished they would—it would give him an excuse to slaughter them in the most bloody, horrible way he could imagine. The March Hare's chuckle-hiss was seriously getting on his nerves and the Mad Hatter's grin was starting to grate.

The Mouse gave him a disapproving stare, but when the Hare tugged on the back of his coat, he retook his seat with an air of ruffled feathers.

"Sit down, fratellino," Romano ordered. Feliciano obediently plopped down next to him.

"More tea?" the Mad Hatter offered, holding out a bright yellow teapot.

Feliciano frowned in confusion. "Be~ but I haven't had any tea yet! I can't exactly have more tea if there's nothing to add it to!"

The Mad Hatter matched Feliciano's frown with one of his own. "But…you can't have less tea. It's hard to have less than nothing!"

Feliciano nodded slowly. "That makes sense…but more doesn't quite sound right either…"

Abruptly, the March Hare stood up and ordered, "Clean cups! Move down!"

Some confusion followed as the Hare, Mouse, and Hatter all got up and moved one place to the left. Romano noticed that, in fact, the Hare was the only one who actually got a clean cup; the other two got cups that their companions had just been using.

"So!" the Hatter said cheerfully when they'd all gotten settled. "More tea?" He offered the vivid yellow teapot again.

"I haven't had any tea yet!" Romano said.

The Hatter looked briefly surprised by this, then his happy (stupid, in Romano's opinion) smile reappeared. "Oh, that's right! Would you like some?"

The corner of Romano's eye twitched. "You," he said evenly, "are an idiot. A Grade-A, world-class blockhead. No, I would not like some tea. I am sick of the insanity of this place. I just want to find the damn rabbit and go home. C'mon, fratellino. We're leaving." He stood swiftly, knocking his chair over, turned, and walked away, Feliciano trailing after him.

"Wait! Come back! Please!" the Hatter cried.

"I didn't get to tell my awesome riddle about the raven and the writing desk!" the Hare complained.

"Quiet, you," the Mouse ordered. "No one cares about your riddle."

"Insult the awesome me, would you?" the Hare said, clearly puffing himself up on wounded pride. "Take this!"

The was a loud squawk; Romano risked a glance back and saw that the Hare was attempting to stuff the Mouse into one of the larger teapots. He blinked in surprise, then turned back and walked faster. Soon, the sounds of that particular bunch of lunatics faded away behind them.

They wandered aimlessly through the forest for a while, Feliciano complaining that he was hungry or tired or that his feet hurt and Romano ignoring him. Finally, Romano grew irritated with his brother's whining (that, and his own feet were starting to hurt) and agreed to a short break. Feliciano lay flat on his back on the fallen leaves that carpeted the ground in order to watch the sky through the branches above their heads. Romano leaned back against a tree and definitely did not yelp when the bark gave way behind him. He spun around to see why the tree was not quite as solid as it should be.

There was a door in the tree. A door. In a tree. Romano knew that this place was weird, but he hadn't thought it went quite that far. He stared.

Feliciano sat up, wondering what all the commotion was. "Hey!" he noticed. "That tree has a door in it! I wonder where it goes~" He got to his feet and bounced over. "Hey, fratello, let's find out where that door goes!"

"No," Romano said flatly. "It could be dangerous."

"Please~" Feliciano begged, turning his formidable puppy eyes on his brother. "Please, fratello~?"

Romano frowned and tried to ignore his brother. "No."

"Please~?"

"No."

"Please~?"

"No."

"Please~?"

"No."

"Please~?"

"No."

"Please~?"

"No."

"Please~?"

"Fine!" Romano growled, just to get his brother to shut up. "Fine! We'll go see where the stupid door goes!"

"Yay!" Feliciano bounced up to the tree (how did he suddenly have so much energy? Romano wondered) and threw the door open. "Let's go!"

a/n: Feliciano's puppy eyes are a fearsome weapon. So you should be afraid. :3

The Queen and the Rose Garden are up next! I'm looking forward to that!

…when I actually get around to writing it. [emocorner] Just call me Tamaki Suoh and shoot me now. I promise, this is almost done. Two more chapters. Three, tops. I promise. I'll do my best. Please tell me how I'm doing. If you hate this story. If you think I need to get off my lazy butt and work harder on this (I agree with you there). If you like this story. If you have any questions. A character list will be posted in the last chapter, so if you have any questions about characters, they will be answered then.