A/N: Hope everyone had a nice Christmas and new year! Here's the Undertaker chapter I finally got up! Hope it pleases everyone :) Don't forget to review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or Ghost Whisperer :(

NOTE: I updated these chapters to fix grammar errors

The Undertaker

The Undertaker opened his eyes and saw the top of the coffin.

"Eeeeheehee!" laughed the Undertaker. He lifted the lid and sat up. Someone looking from the outside would've thought it was a crazed zombie coming back to life. They'd have been running for the hills by now.

The Undertaker arose from the coffin and went to the bathroom. He walked in, looked in the mirror, and walked straight out. He didn't care much about his appearance. Why? Because it's not like he's going to get a date anytime soon. He never changed his clothes, which were usually smelly. He didn't brush his hair, either. As long as no one could see his eyes.

Really, they looked like normal green shinigami eyes, but he liked to keep them hidden from people because it made them frustrated, and he was too lazy to either cut his bangs or push them aside.

Emerging from the bathroom, the Undertaker went over to his many shelves of dog biscuits.

"Let's see," he said to himself, "Do I want regular biscuits, sweet and sour, chocolate – OH! I'll have the salty ones!~"

The Undertaker grabbed the jar and gobbled them down in a hurry.

"Now before I open the shop, I need a break." The Undertaker went into his back room where he had an old couch and a mini TV. He sat down on the couch and watched cartoons for an hour. Afterwards, he finally opened up his shop for customers. Then he began working on his "patients".

The Undertaker lifted up a lid to one of the coffins, revealing a corpse.

"Hmm, heart attack victim. Such a boring death!" the Undertaker scowled. He put the lid back down and picked up another. "Ooooh! Poisoning from a stab! Undertaker likey!" The Undertaker continued working like this until he heard the bell on the door ring.

"Undertaker," said the all-familiar voice of Ciel Phantomhive.

"Welcome Earl!~" he said.

Ciel sighed. "We need information."

"Of course you do, you won't visit me otherwise!"

"Right. Anyway, what do you know about the poisoned deaths?"

"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down Earl! Where's my laugh?" implied the Undertaker.

"Uhh, fine. Sebastian!"

"Yes, my Lord," his butler replied.

Ciel walked out of the shop, leaving Sebastian alone with the Undertaker.

"Do you have them?" asked the Undertaker.

"Yup," replied Sebastian. He tossed a box over to the Undertaker. He ripped it open and inside were tons of little star bits. The Undertaker ate all of them and burst into laughter.

"EEEHEEEHEEE!" cheered the Undertaker. He bounced all around the shop on a salt high.

Ciel came back in. "I still don't know how you do it!" he commented to Sebastian. "Now tell us what you know!"

"Alright Earl, no need to be pushy!" said the Undertaker. "Today I have discovered that six of my patients have poison in their systems. I have a sample for you if you want it!"

"Get it," Ciel replied sternly.

The Undertaker went into the back room to look for the poison sample. When he got back there, he realized he forgot to turn off his TV.

"Heehee, I need another break!" laughed the Undertaker. He sat back down in his couch to watch more TV.

Soon Ciel came in wondering what was taking so long.

"Hey, have you – what are you doing!" asked Ciel, enraged.

"What's it look like I'm doing, I'm watching TV!" replied the Undertaker.

"What about the poison sample you said you had?"

"I'll get it in a minute Earl!" he said.

Ciel sighed.

"OOOH!" squealed the Undertaker. "The dude just got shot!"

"What are you even watching?" asked Ciel.

"Ghost Whisperer," He replied.

"And you enjoy this?"

"Yes, yes I do," said the Undertaker. "See, I'm a lot like Melinda." The Undertaker grabbed Ciel by the collar and got up in his face. "I can talk to the dead to! All the bodies brought in here, I can talk to them! They tell me jokes. Funny jokes that I can actually laugh at. Dead people are my best friends because they have the best stories. Their stories! Oh, here's that sample for you Earl!~"

When he let go of Ciel, he grabbed the sample and ran out of the shop screaming bloody murder. "Let's go Sebastian!"

"Please excuse us," Sebastian said to the Undertaker.

"Heehee, come back anytime!~" he waved to them as they left. "Ah, they grow up so fast, them Earls! He shall be mine one day… hehehe…" Soon after the two left, her went back to watching TV.

In about an hour, the Undertaker went back to his 'best friends.'

"Hi Harold!~" he said to one of the corpses. "I don't think Earl believed me!"

The body did nothing.

"Yeah, I know his name's Ciel, don't make me cry again!"

Still nothing.

"I promise I'll make you pretty Harold!~" he squealed. The Undertaker then continued on with his work. Soon, a customer came into the shop. By the looks of it, he has a skater punk.

"How can I help you? Asked the Undertaker.

"Yeah, man, I need a coffin," Said the skater.

"Thanks for telling me the obvious, man." Replied the Undertaker.

"So do you have one?" he asked.

"No, this is actually a flower shop," The Undertaker replied sarcastically.

"Oh, ok," The skater punk headed for the door.

"Get back here!"

"Um, ok so can I have one?"

"Yeah, give me money first," He replied.

"Sure," The guy gave the Undertaker a wad of money.

"Go pick one out," said the Undertaker.

"Got any neon colored one?" the guy asked.

"Jesus Christ! It's a coffin! It's gonna go in the ground anyway!" the Undertaker yelled.

"Ok, fine man, chill out!" the skater replied.

"What the crap! Just hurry up and get out of my shop!" the Undertaker was pissed by now.

"Whatever," The guy left before even getting a coffin.

"Heehee, I gots me some money!~" cheered the Undertaker. "That's going towards my life's savings fund, which goes towards cable." For the rest of the day the Undertaker closed the shop and watched more TV. When he decided to go to bed, he said goodnight to all the bodies and got into his sleeping coffin. He closed the lid.

For the next two hours, wild laughter was heard throughout the city of London. The top of a coffin must have been real amusing to the Undertaker.

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