Okay this aint a chapter but I do have to show you guys this I thourt it was really funny and no offence to my friend (well not really friend but still0 who wrote this but this is my story and you don't seem to get the idea of a 'developing story' everything is explained soon and you just have to wait so thanx for commenting but this isn't your story

Okay this is MidnightFlyte comment on my story:

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

You, my dear, have the honor of creating one of the most horrendous Mary Sues since Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Tara Way.

Number 1: Yeah. Sure. Her hair and eyes are just that special. From birth. And it's not like this is a genetic impossibility or anything, no, since she has bat deoxyribonucleic acid, this is perfectly fucking normal. Ahahahah ... No. Just fucking no.

Repeat after me: "Hair can only be one color from birth. Eyes can change color, but they are not more than three colors at the same time."

I even kept it down to words of two syllables, so it won't be that hard for you.

Number 2: So, she just decided to not tell her parents because it's her body? That makes perfect sense. Please, replace "wings" with "baby".

"Well, this is my baby so if I decide to wait until I'm in labor to tell my mother so she can drive me to the hospital, who cares? It's MY BABY."

No. It's also very fucking unrealistic. Since this Cody has known her "always", she's had wings for her whole life, more or less. Am I expected to believe that she's had wings since birth and her mother has never seen them?

Because that's a huge piece of bullshit, doll. Your mom sees you naked. That's the way life works.

Also, as a sub-part: Why isn't she at a laboratory, being prodded by people in white coats? Do you seriously think that they would let an experiment just slip away like that and expose themselves to the world?

Number 3: "Lying with bat wings"? So, he's on the ground, and there are this little bat wings all around him? Where are the bats?

Okay, serious time.

What. The. Fuck.

Cody is going to end up as the Love Interest, isn't he? I can see this happening.

Fuck you, doll.

I cannot fucking believe that you thought that it would be fine to give Cody bat wings. You now have to explain to your audience why he isn't in a laboratory as well, how his family took it, and why he's oh-so-conveniently living near your Sue.

Bottom Line: Fuck you. Delete this. Then perhaps check out the School on the Maximum Ride forums and use what you learned there to try again.

Project Aero bids you a good day.

Okay one this is my story not yours. Two that was my first chapter to it so get the hell over it and three I prefer not to have swearing on my reviews unless it is used in a good way. So thanx for the advice but no thanx. And last of all if your gonna read my stories please don't reply like this I mean its good to have comments but not like this….