Chapter XI

Hyuuga Neji paused upon knocking on the wooden door, hand suspended on air. He didn't know why but his Trouble instinct was tingling at the back of his mind. His Trouble instinct never failed to save him from near-death situations and occasional life-changing ones as well. But then again, he had already been late for almost 3 hours now. Punctuality is Team Gai's code of honor---It would a big hit on his ego to actually be late. Then again, better be late than never.

In the end, he shrugged and disregarded all the warning signs flashing in his head as he turned the knob. "I'm sorry I was---," he was cut off as a tarpaulin, complete with falling confetti, boomed from up above. It read, 'Congratulations!!!!'

Before he could make a clear reaction, the tarpaulin swung sideways as Lee dragged him inside squealing, "NEJI-KUN!!!!" The Junior Green Beast of Konoha unceremoniously seated him at the head of the small table and took his seat beside the bewildered Neji.

On the other hand, who would have not be bewildered if all your colleagues are watching you with hawk eyes as though you were a goose about to lay a dinosaur egg?

"Let us begin," declared Shikamaru.

"We're finally here," said a man garbed in a black cloak. His tone was cheerful albeit reserve.

"Are you sure we are at the right place?" his companion replied in an authoritarian voice. Obviously, he needed an answer.

At that, the man smiled broadly. "As a matter of fact, I see Kakashi-sensei just outside."

The other man chuckled as he saw the familiar figure leaning discreetly on a nearby wall. With a lighter voice, he commented, "Konoha KTV Bar? Let us met them, shall we?"

"What is this?" Hinata stared blankly at the 8.5X14 cm paper held in front of her. From the writings on it, it appears to be a questionnaire of some sort.

Ino smiled brightly at her. "It's a form for my match-making business."

"Form?"

"It's a questionnaire about yourself and the guy you like," Temari explained. "Afterwards, Ino will find a guy who nearly fits your requirements and you two will have a date."

"Oh…" she scanned the paper again then returned it to Ino. "I'm really sorry but I can't do that."

Sakura grinned. "Trust Ino's choice in men. She may have a sucked up love life but her choice in men is amazing. They're too good to be true."

"Really?" Ino asked slyly.

"Of course," Sakura confirmed. She shifted her attention to Hinata. "So? How about it? Give it a shot."

Hinata, on the other hand, had her eyes downcast. "Well, it's not as if I don't trust Ino-san's instinct. It's just that…" She let her voice trail off, unable to speak the true reason.

Fortunately for her, Tenten was around Hyuuga Neji so much. "Hyuuga Laws 101?" The girls eyed at her and then back to Hinata who nodded.

"Hyuuga Laws 101?" inquired Temari.

"It's a set of unending rules made by her ancestor several years ago. It informs about proper conduct during Hyuuga ceremonies, the use of their bloodline limit, the duties and responsibilities of the Main and the Branch Houses, etc. etc," supplied Tenten. "It's worst than our laws, actually."

Ino blinked at her friend's knowledge. "Wow. I didn't know you had so much info regarding that kind of stuff."

"If you're the sparring partner of a stuck up jerk, you'll understand me someday. I never miss a day without him giving a hint about their customs and traditions," Tenten assured her. "Something wrong, Hinata? You look a little tense."

"How much do you know?"

Tenten searched her face for any sign of trouble and found a lot of them so she continued, "He only gives hints but as far as I remembered, he already rambled about the Section 8, No. 0981 and how unconventional your proposals are."

"Oh, dear…" She let out a relieved sigh. "You're safe, Tenten-san. Don't worry anymore."

Tenten frowned. "Why would I be worried?"

"I don't think you want to know."

"Okay," started Sakura. "Maybe it's time we go back to the neglected topic, Hinata. What made you turned down the request?"

"Oh… Um…" She paused to find a suitable answer. "Dates in my clan are only allowed when you're with your betrothed."

Temari raised eyebrows at that. "A date and a proposal are two different things. One is a ribbon, the other is a rope."

"My clan is a little bit old fashioned," she reasoned. "The 'Kunai Wedding' types. Besides, I don't think my father would agree. "

The girls gave shifty glances at each other signaling Plan B, as they shared a secretive smiled.

"Well, then," Temari announced. "Let's get you home. Your father must be worried."

"Iced tea," Neji requested after he heard the whole story. Lee immediately went to his aid bearing a pitcher. He poured Neji a glass and handed it to his shaky hands. When he appeared to have composed himself, he set the glass down. "Could anyone please tell me what me what my cousin saw in our Hokage that she finds appealing up until now?" The boys were silent. "I take it no one knows."

Chouji, thankfully, answered, "I believe the term they use today is love. I will explain it in terms that your Mathematician-side will understand." From his pocket, he drew a mini-Cartesian plane and some colorful chalks. The boys squatted near him. Chouji, then, wrote love on the y-axis using a red chalk. "Mathematically, love overlaps the y-axis having the slope love is equal to y over zero. It follows the condition of a slope wherein if a line overlaps the y-axis, it will have the equation: line is equal to y over zero. And since any fractional number with the denominator as zero is considered undefined, therefore, love is undefined."

"Such language cannot be understand by my ninja comprehension," Kiba remarked miserably and began petting Akamaru.

"What if love overlaps the x-axis?" inquired Shino, obviously interested. Kiba glared at him. "You'll have severe eye infections if you continue to do that."

"So?"

Chouji chuckled and drew out a blue chalk. He wrote love on the x-axis. "If such a thing happens then love will follow the equation of a line where a line is overlapping the x-axis. It will have the equation: love is equal to zero over x. And since 0 divided by any number is equal to zero, love is equal to zero. Love is nothing. And we all know love is everything."

Lee clapped his hands, tears flowing freely on his cheeks. "Yosh, Chouji! That was so inspiring."

"Using the Cartesian plane to define love; couldn't describe that better." Sasuke shook his head. He shrugged and took a sip on his drink.

"Thanks, Chouji." Neji made a polite bow.

"That's alright. My pleasure to enlighten your minds," he replied. He smiled at Shikamaru who grimaced at the gesture.

Arms crossed, eyes closed, Shikamaru exhaled calmly. "Mind if I interrupt your recent discovery for a moment for just a little bite of reality? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE MISSSION!"

"You told us someone was going to tell it to 'he who we should not speak of'," said Lee.

"What?" exclaimed Neji. "How could you decide without me?"

"You were finding some miraculous way to save the Kazekage from the Hyuugas wrath. We didn't want you to stress yourself too much," Shikamaru answered smoothly.

"Not to mention Gaara-sama is Temari's little brother," Kiba added.

"That too," Sasuke commended Kiba for that.

Shikamaru snorted but insisted on being on-topic. "As we have talked about, the chosen one has to have a close relation with both our targets. Then he has to be cool and composed because this will determine our fate and increase of salary. Then, there's his face, the angelic aura, not the talkative type, the total I-don't-care-but-I-care attitude-"

"Are you talking about me?" Neji cut him off, Byakugan activated.

"No, I was talking about Shino," clarified Shikamaru.

Shino nodded then froze. "What?"

"You'll tell it to him," he repeated. "You know, Hokage-sama and the whole 1683 drill together with the drastic details."

"Shino-kun, it's time to shine," cried Lee. "Go for gold!"

"But… I thought we were talking about Neji."

"Really?" Neji asked incredulously. "If my memory serves me right, I almost killed Hinata-sama."

"But… But…"

"You'll be fine," cheered Sasuke. "All you gotta do is telling it to him. How bad can that be?"

"And as consideration, I think I forgive you now." Kiba said, petting Akamaru, and was inwardly grinning at Shino's misfortune. "See, Akamaru. That's what happens when you do bad things to other people. Karma will get you one of these days. That's why, whatever you do, don't play bad jokes."

"Gee, thanks…" Shino sneered.

Kiba grinned broadly then he sniffed. "Something's coming."

Just then, the door opened and in came Kakashi, a smile formed on his masked face together with a hooded figure.

"Matta ku… It's so hot outside…" The figure dropped his cowl to reveal a familiar face. Sasuke glared at him but the man seemed to be composed. He gave the glare an equal smile. "Good evening, gentlemen."

"Well, I was calling Ichiraku and I saw these poor kids outside so I let them in," explained Kakashi.

"Sai-sama!" announced Shikamaru. They quickly stood and showed respect except for the Uchiha. Sasuke just stood rather grumpily.

'Can't he just die of heatstroke outside?' Sasuke mumbled in his head. The advisor regarded him another smile, which meant he knows what the Uchiha had in mind. Sasuke inwardly scowled. Then something caught his attention. His eyes widened when he stared pass the two.

The others drop their jaws breathing, "Ho… Ho…"

"Hey! How's it going?" the other person entered. His grinned flashed at them, his sapphire eyes gleaming with joy. "Being hospitalized does wonders. I missed you guys!"

"Oh dear," Shino mumbled. For the first time in many years, Aburame Shino wanted nothing more than to kill the seven individuals painfully so.

A city governed by the illumination of the pale blue moon was the inspiration of the red-haired demon as the gentle wind tossed the gentle leaves about. The demon was amazed that even in the light of the moon; he did not morphed into his hideous form. Still, slumber eluded him.

"What are you doing here?" an annoyed voice asked from behind, making the Kazekage startled a little.

He quickly hid the blue book he was working on and stared at the unexpected person. It was Hyuuga Hanabi, wearing one of the traditional Hyuuga robes, her hair swaying with the wind. She looked like the angel of redemption if not for that annoyed frown on her face. What did he do this time?

"I couldn't sleep," he replied nonchalantly.

Silently, she peered at this indifferent young man and wandered what her cousin saw in him. This person who called himself Yashamaru did not appear to be a slave. He had this aristocratic breeding in him, a sense of power and authority. She recalled the way her father and her cousin assessed this man with the absence of an audience and guard.

She stared at him for some moments then said, "And why is that?"

He looked uncertain but replied, "Habit." Then, he returned to his original position and stared the scene in front of him as if nothing happened.

Hanabi refused to have someone ignore her. She cleared her throat. "They said while you were here, you were looking for my sister. Is it safe to assume that you are one of her suitors and not my cousin's subordinate?"

"You make an excellent storyteller, my lady." For once, he felt a smile curving on his lips.

"And which one is the story: you are my sister's suitor or my cousin's subordinate?"

"I have no affection or whatsoever to your sister, my lady. Truth to be told, I have not seen her at all."

"What nonsense." As soon as she uttered her words, her companion disappeared from where he was seated.

"Then perhaps my memory needs to be refreshed," said a voice directly behind her.

She drew her breath suddenly to relax herself from the intimidating tone of his voice. "You are a liar."

"I have not declared myself an honest man."

"Nor have you declared your true intentions."

He paused for a while, thinking of a better excuse. "Some secrets are better left unsaid."

"If my clan concerns your secret then I refuse to stand aside."

Gaara sighed in defeat. "It is not your clan that I seek but your heiress."

"I am correct," she said with a bit of a smile. "You are here to court her."

"No, I am not." He turned to her, eyes clearly saying he's stating the truth. "I am here to judge whether she's a rightful wife of a certain friend of mine."

"Achoo!" The Hokage sneezed rather unethically. He sniffed. "Man, someone talking about me."

Immediately the boys stopped their activities and stared at each other. No one dared to move, no one dared to lose eye contact. Shikamaru counted silently.

'One… Two… Three…'

They burst laughing. Whether they are laughing at themselves or the craziness of the events that followed, they do not know. It started when their boss wanted them to capture a man and all the links aimed at one man---their boss. How will they do it? They don't know. Every plan they come up with spells of one word: T-R-E-A-S-O-N.

Treason: betrayal or disloyalty, treachery, act of deceit.

"Dumb," Kiba said gruffly though he continued to laugh. "Maybe some girl is fantasizing about making you the man of her dreams."

"Well, whoever she is, she'll be fairly disappointed. Hokage-sama already has his heart set on someone," said Sai.

"Sai!"

"I am saying the truth."

"Sh… Shocking," Neji replied fluently. "Have you ever wondered if she adores you as well?"

His cerulean was ashen by the statement. "No, that's impossible. She already told me she likes someone else." It didn't take them ten thousand brain cells to figure out that he was talking about Hinata. The boys eyed at Shino. Shino nodded.

"I think I'm gonna cry," Lee wailed at their misfortune. Chouji just patted his shoulder and offered a shoulder to cry on.

"Don't worry, Lee," said Naruto. "It's not your fault. I don't even know the guy she likes. But then if I did he'd probably be dead by now."

"Bloody little thing, aren't you?" said Kakashi. "I'll take it you'll do the honors."

"That's what you taught me."

The boys closed their eyes and envisioned a bloody Naruto stabbing himself repeatedly with a kunai. It was the only thing that made them smile that day. Their dream however left them raw as a knock reverberated throughout the room.

"Ichiraku Ramen House Delivery!" called a cheery feminine voice. "May I enter?"

"Thank God, the ramen is here!" exclaimed Naruto. He jumped enthusiastically to the door and opened it with much greater delight.

"Oh shocks…" said the delivery girl. Itachi stared at the people he'd be serving that night.

The girls parted quickly after Hinata and Temari took their leave. The remaining three decided to take a stroll across the park, enjoying the warmth of the night. They separated quickly after they reached the bend.

Sakura's mind was drifting farther and farther away with every step she took.

What was going on inside her head was what usually goes inside the head of a newly separated person. She grimaced at the term she used: separated---like some old spinster left by a life-long partner. But then, Rock Lee did promise to defend her 'til his last breath. Who would not be attracted to a guy like that?

Of course, he was not the most handsome person in the world or the most charming. Heck, he was and is the farthest from being fashionable. Still, his determination to protect her combined with the ability to make her laugh made thinking of him…

Painful.

She shook her head. I must be losing my mind. She suddenly stopped cold when she realized where her feet had taken her: the bench where they talked last.

She smiled a painful smile. "I am losing my mind."

"Onee-chan, you're really cute!" said Kiba.

Itachi froze in the act of putting noodles in the bowl. Oh, dear God! Please deliver me from these boys. He forced himself to put on a smiling face and handed him the bowl. "Thanks." The younger man grinned at him.

Itachi sweat-dropped. Most of the time men gave him peculiar longing glances and puppy-dog eyes every time he is in this female form. Was it the long shiny jet-black hair tied to a low pony? Was it the obsidian eyes hid by owlish glasses? Was it the oval face, which was surprisingly a stark resemblance of his mother's?

Even his little brother was giving him strange glances. Either it was of speculation or desire, Itachi did not know. As a result, he avoided looking in their eyes for fear that they might finally realize the Ramen delivery girl all along was Uchiha Itachi.

"Hey, Onee-chan," called Lee. "Do you need help?"

"I can manage but thanks, anyway."

"Are you sure?" asked Chouji.

Itachi busied himself with the Ramen bowls. "Yes."

"So if I ask you for a date, when is your vacant?" asked Sai.

"Sai-sama!" the boys chorused. The man just winked at them and waited for the response.

That was Uchiha Itachi's most dreaded interrogative sentence. "I work 24/7."

The next question came form the Hokage. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Hokage-sama!" the boys chorused.

"I'm just asking if she has one."

"I have lots," said Itachi. Their attention shifted to him, eyes bearing shock. "I mean… Not precisely romantic-type of boyfriends but acquaintances that belong to the male species." He smiled when he looked up and handed them their Ramen.

"Thanks for the food!" they chorused.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Inori-chan, would you mind if I talk to you for a minute outside?" The boys gave him shifty glances and knowing looks, but he brushed them aside as he walked to the door.

"Sure Kakashi-san." He stood and followed the man. They went a little farther across the hallway until they were out of earshot. There, Hatake Kakashi no longer contained his laughter. He broke into loud guffaws.

"I would definitely appreciate it if you wouldn't overdo it, Kakashi-san." A large smoke gathered around Itachi as he transformed back to his original form.

The man replied in between his laughter, "I am so sorry. But you practically attracted those boys!"

"Not all," he reminded Kakashi. "Nara Shikamaru, Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Neji and Brother dear were silent all throughout the conversation."

"Shika-kun's practically engaged, Neji-kun's not feeling all jolly today, Shino-kun has other things in mind, and your brother dear is… I don't know what his problem is. But they do have their share of secret glances." He regarded Itachi with an analytical eye. "Nice glasses, by the way."

Itachi glared at him. "It won't be long before you will have eyes like these."

"I'm not that old," Kakashi said a little too sternly.

"I hope we did not go outside just to talk about eyesight and your age, Kakashi-san."

"Hm? Oh yeah… I called you for the follow-up about that job in Mizu town. It turns out the deal was a great big scam. They're selling meat."

"Meat; you mean like beef, pork and chicken kind of meat?"

"The sexual meat."

Itachi stared at him for a moment. "I guess I'll stick with the Ramen business then."

"You made an excellent choice, young man."

"And you say you're not an old man." Itachi transformed back to his stunning feminine form. "We better go back inside else those kids will have greater assumptions."

"Sure Inori-chan."

"So," Naruto said in between his gulps. "What about the mission?"

They boys froze. Sai watched a brief wave of fear hit them. It nade hi chuckle but he didn't say anything.

"We have a lead," finally said Shikamaru.

"I see. Am I expecting any results soon?"

"Not really. We're still gathering information and making sure we get the right target," reasoned Shikamaru.

Naruto made a sound under his breath that he understood. They all mentally sighed in relief.

Shino chose this moment to speak, "Hokage-sama?"

"Yes?"

"What is Hinata to you?"

Everybody stilled their activities; some almost choked their Ramen. All gazes focused on the two as they wait for arrival of the answer. There was a heavy scent of fear, excitement and anticipation in the room that one would likely suffocate to kill the tension.

To their surprise, the Hokage smiled and gently laid his Ramen bowl on the table. "She's special."

"Special," Shino repeated the word as if it was foreign. The next question shocked the guys to their toes. "Like disabled or like a mutant?"

Naruto gave him an odd look. "She's as special as an Ichiraku Ramen."

"Only? Why not Large Portion Pork Miso Ramen like what you always order?"

"Shino, whether it is salad, ramen or meat bun, special is the most expensive and most delicious of them all."

"So you're comparing Hinata-sama to your Ramen bowl, Hokage-sama?" Neji concluded, giving his bowl a speculative glance.

"Yes, like you're comparing Tenten to your rice cooker." He winked when the Hyuuga colored a little. "Yours is different though. You would kill if somebody were to steal your rice cooker. I will die if my Ramen would cease to exist."

"Can anybody pass the salt?" Sasuke blurted out all of the sudden, completely destroying the mood.

"My! What a great way to change the topic, Sasuke-kun."

"It lacks salt, Hokage-sama." The Uchiha was referring to his Ramen.

Wanting to help, Sai rummaged the delivery bag. "They don't have salt but I think there's fish sauce." He brought out a bottle of amber liquid.

"Fish sauce?" asked Naruto.

"It's diluted salt in water," answered Shikamaru. "Perfectly harmless unless you treat it like sake and destroy your kidneys."

Sai spared him an appreciative glance before he deliberately threw the bottle to Sasuke. The latter caught it without breaking a sweat. They exchanged death glares and sneers at each other.

"Why are they glaring at each other?" inquired the Hokage.

"They are seeing their delectable qualities in each other and they realize that those qualities are not at all that nice, Hokage-sama," explained Chouji.

"I see."

Still glaring Sasuke drained half of the bottle in his bowl.

"Be careful. It's salty," warned Sai.

He sneered in reply. He slurped his Ramen to taste. He seemed to like it for he sprinkled some more. "This is nice."

Kiba sniffed. "It's diluted salt in water, right?"

"That's what Shikamaru said," replied Lee.

"Then how come I smell alcohol?"

"What?" From the munching Sasuke, Chouji grabbed the bottle and brought it to his lips. He gasped. "It's whiskey."

"Is it me or something is about to happen?" asked Sai.

Too late. Sasuke already drained his Ramen. When he finished, he dropped his bowl with a loud thump.

"To answer your question, yeah," said Naruto, looking very afraid right now.

"Sasuke has this strange side effect for alcohol," supplied Kiba.

"He goes crazy like Lee-san?"

"Worse."

Sasuke produced a loud hiccup, eyes droopy. Red colored his cheeks and a crazy smile formed on his lips. "Cuties!"

"He turns gay," whispered Kiba.

"Oh dear…"