Disclaimer: I do not own NARUTO. I do not take part of the creation, production and distribution of the said anime. The characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. This fic is written for pure enjoyment and is highly fictional. If such occurrences happen to the original plot, then it is a case of pure coincidence.

A/N: I have updated, because I have time. Blame my school and all its unreasonable assignments and paper works. Thank you for those who reviewed! I've appreciated every comment. Electronic cookies and kisses for you all! ^_^ On with the story, although this particular update is quite short. I'm happy with it anyway.

Chapter XIII: The Kidnapping

For the first time in a long time, Ino had absolutely no idea what to do. Her best friend came in yesterday (or rather last night) at an ungodly hour of 12 am, hair helplessly mused and face drenched with heartbroken tears. She ran from across the town, she told her, and witness what any woman would have called the revelation of the century. She was sitting there on their family shop's counter, briefly wondered how on earth gay men multiply when they were incapable of reproduction in the first place.

Her only consolation was that at least the guy she had been pinning for quite sometime ran off with his wife. But she was careful not to let Sakura know that.

Speaking of Sakura, she cried until she slept that night. Her eyes must be puffy like strawberry puffs right now. It's a good thing they were medical ninjas. They can go from heartache to another without the evidences that they cried the night away.

The door leading to their house opened and as if on cue, Sakura entered her line of vision. She looked murderous and tired, which was perfectly understandable, but there wasn't any trace of a night full crying fit from her face.

"Slept well?"

Sakura nodded. "I better go. I have hospital duties today."

"Don't you want to stay over for breakfast?" Ino offered.

"Thanks, but I'll grab a bite there," was her reply. Sakura paused to contemplate on something, before she hastily added, "And thanks for last night."

"I never said anything."

"I know." With a bit of a smile, she left the flower shop feeling less under the weather. If this happened when they were still younger, Sakura would have been crying like crazy, Ino would be reprimanding her for her behavior and the two would have fought like crazy.

It's a good thing they matured over the years.

A little while later, the flower shop's bell hummed its distinctive chime as Kiba and Shino entered. The former left his pet outside the shop with promises of dog food and meaty bones for lunch, while the latter left his bugs outside to prevent them from swarming the flowers. They were particularly attracted to anything colorful and sweet smelling.

"Morning, Ino," Kiba greeted. "You're looking quite beautiful today.

Ino smiled, amused that Kiba still find that comments like those affect her when he smell like horse radishes and cucumber in the morning. "Good morning, Kiba. How's your bath?"

"Still waiting at home," he answered automatically. "I was called upon by Supreme Intelligence so I didn't have the chance to enjoy it."

"Excuse him if his scent stings the very air you breathe, Ino," Shino said smoothly. Kiba glared at him rather sharply. He was always been proud of his scent because he finds it unique and believes that it's an asset. His friends never bothered to correct him anymore that this philosophy only applies to the lesser creatures of the Animal Kingdom.

"It's okay. I'm used to it. So what brings you two to our lovely little flower shop?"

"The lovely little flowers," Kiba said.

"And the key to your interrogation room," Shino added.

Ino turned a sharp eye on the both of them. "You're not planning something illegal, right?" They just smiled angelically, but she could see beyond those boyish grins that they were up to something big. "Well, if you want to use my interrogation room, you have to buy the flowers of the shop – all of them."

Shino already brought out his wallet. "Sure. How much are the flowers?" Ino handed out the bills and the two stopped cold as they stared at the number of zeros accompanying a number three.

"Don't we get a discount?" Kiba looked hopeful.

In the end they did get a discount, but the price was still beyond their annual income combined. As they trudge the streets of Konoha with a bandwagon of flowers, they found solace in the fact that they might get their money back with the mission's payment—hopefully.

They reached Sasuke's pad with heavy hearts and empty wallets, with the rest of the crew eyeing at their colorful and flower scented surprise.

Shikamaru and Chouji looked at each other and said in unison, "Ino."

"She's good," Shino praised while he threw the offending key—that got them to this financial predicament in the first place—to Shikamaru. He also handed the receipt for the flowers, and watched how Shikamaru's face colored the same as that of the paper.

Kiba sat, and busied himself with a bunch of cookies to increase his happy hormones. He noticed Lee staring at Sasuke and frowned. "What's wrong with Lee?"

Their resident taijutsu artist blushed of three different shades of red, and muttered something unintelligently.

Kiba frowned deeply, and shifted his gaze to Neji who was staring at Lee as well. Neji always knew everything.

As if reading his mind, Neji said, "Much to your surprise, Kiba, I actually don't know."

Blasphemy

Hearing his little dilemma, Chouji provided the answer. "He was kissed by a boy and he liked it."

"No…" Kiba managed. Beside him, Neji's eyes widened like Chinese saucers. Even Shino was surprised. "Who?"

"Sasuke-kun."

Kiba and Neji stared at Sasuke and then at Lee and finally at each other. "Oh," they said together. Sasuke cursed Chouji darkly.

"What? You kissed everyone in this room already. It's bound to happen to Lee," Chouji rectified.

Kiba propped his chin on both hands and decided to amuse himself. "So how did your kiss with Lee felt like?"

"I would have provided you with a colorful definition if I could remember. Unfortunately, I couldn't so back off, Inuzuka." Sasuke glowered at him in a way that would make any man run across the country and change his citizenship. Kiba seemed immune though, and that made Sasuke glower even further. "Jealous?"

"Not in this lifetime, dude, so chill," Kiba turned to Lee. "So how did your kiss with Sasuke felt like?"

"It was good. He has a very good technique," Lee managed looking cute and mortified at the moment. Kiba should have been a member of the interrogation corps. He'd make Ibiki proud.

"Let's stop at that," Shikamaru announced when he had recovered. "Since we have the key, we will proceed with Phase 2 of the plan. Any questions regarding your positions?" They all shook their heads.

"Good, then its time to end this."

It was a beautiful morning. As usual, Naruto started his day by watering his beloved cactuses sitting on the windowsills of his office. His subordinates never bother to point out why every window of the room was filled with needle skinned plants. They rationalized that perhaps their Hokage needed extra protection against invaders, or it's a hobby, or he's just procrastinating. Most of them placed their bets on the last one.

Naruto beamed as he finished his daily chore and glanced forlornly at the sets of scrolls and documents he had to check and recheck for the day. He prayed that something would distract him from this utter nuisance of legal documents and political credentials. But alas, he was never a lucky fellow.

A knock resonated at the grand oak doors. Or perhaps he was.

"Come in," he said, not bothering to contain the delight in his voice. When the doors opened and his visitors came in, Naruto smile brightened three-fold. "Hey-,"

He never managed to complete his sentence. All he remembered was a loud thud of the doors closing, a sharp stinging pain on the back of his neck, and a steel arm wrapped across his midriff, before the world became black.

The first thing that came to his mind when he woke up was that his head felt like crazy hell, probably due to the blow he received earlier. The second thing was that he had a strong urge to mutilate the very people that caused his headache. The third thing – much to his chagrin – was that he was currently tied to a chair and his arms are behind him. He cracked an eyelid open.

The place he was in was very familiar. In fact, he wanted to curse the heavens at the familiarity. He was in the Konoha Special Interrogation Room, tightly secured by chakra binding ropes and what not the Interrogation Corp had to offer.

"Good morning, Hokage-sama," one of his captors emerged from the shadows and entered his line of vision. He stood directly in front of him. "How was your day?"

"I had a very fine morning." Naruto emphasized on had.

His captor didn't change his expression. "I'm assuming you did. How are your cactuses?"

"They were looking so beautiful today." He didn't bother to elaborate on he subject. "In fact, I want to test the fact if a person could really die from cactus stings. Would you care to be a test subject?"

"No, I don't," his captor clarified. As he cleared his throat, he decided to change the subject. "Did you know that that the small dot on top of the small letter i and j are called title?"

"No. And I don't care."

"Oh…" It was a nice trivia, anyway.

"Shino," he managed to say, injecting as much decency as he could. "Could you please explain to me the meaning of all these before I wring the life out of you?"

He appeared to be somewhat confounded, but knowing Shino, it was probably just a trick of light.

"We assure you that everything we do is strictly professional and all part of the mission."

"What mission?"

"Locating Mr. 1683," he clarified. "The mission was to capture him and bring him to you. We only have a few minutes before the guards become suspicious so I'm going to make this quick." Seeing that Naruto looked positively miffed, Shino saw his chance and went directly on the point, "Mr. 1683 is you."

A pregnant silence ensued, before Naruto burst out laughing, his voice reverberating on every corner of the darkened room. When he was finished, his expression changed that of a boy who had lost his first puppy. Shino found that absolutely remarkable.

"Seriously?"

"I don't joke."

Shino looked offended, but Naruto was passed the point of caring. "Are you sure?"

"We are ninety nine point nine percent sure, Hokage-sama. You are Uzumaki Naruto. You've been with her during the contact period that you have provided us. Our intelligence reports tell us that your Ninja Registration Number is 012607, the same registration number that Mr. 1683 apparently has. And although it was hard, we finally came into an agreement that you are lively, kind, caring and willing to cheer everybody up." Shino paused, not sure if he was to continue.

"Hold one second. What's the remaining point one percent?"

"Shikamaru thought we should include the number of people that are like you. We concluded that since they only comprise of point one percentage of the whole assessment, they can be negligible."

"But there is still a point one percent chance that it's not me."

Although it did not show, Shino was an inch close on using his bugs to snap some sense into the blond. He was either a hopeless idiot, or completely blind fool. Or both.

"There is one more reason," Shino said, like providing a lifeline in one of those late night game shows for clueless individuals.

"What's that?"

"The fact that we are all aware of her feelings for you," Shino dropped the statement like an ultimatum.

"But why me?" Naruto asked bitterly.

"I guess when you're in love, you think that that person is awesome, even if he's not worthy of the word." Shino quickly added, "But I still think you're awesome."

His Hokage stared at him with such sparkling eyes that reminded Shino of how cute Akamaru was when he was still a puppy.

"Thanks, Shino. But why are you the only one telling me all this?"

"Because Shikamaru is a jerk and everybody else are wussies," Shino reasoned out. It was true anyway.

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