Olivia woke up on the morning of her third week there, she gazed at the clock; 3:00am. She 'sighed', frustrated. It had taken her until midnight to fall asleep and now she knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. She wondered if she should lie in bed for the next two hours, or if she should do something. She opted for the latter idea and hopped out of bed. It never occurred to her to talk to anyone about her inability to sleep. If her mother was still alive, she would have picked up on it right away. However, Hank and Evan didn't know her well enough to gauge her moods. She was terribly quiet to them. Evan especially didn't know what to think of it and was more tactless than usual; if that was possible. Olivia came to realize that it was just his nature to be blunt and she would often find herself about to smile, until she remembered herself. With her mother gone, she felt it was wrong to be happy for some reason, as if being so would imply she was happy without her.
Taking one of her sketchbooks out, Olivia took it to her desk. She pulled her lamp close to be able to see by, not daring to turn her light on, in case someone saw it from the hall. As much as she hated not being able to sleep, Olivia loved to draw and found it was one of the rare opportunities that she could be herself and not be worried about what anyone was thinking. Her brothers were wonderful, but
Olivia was reticent to reveal much about herself. Part of it was her fear of getting close to anyone again, because if she didn't let them in, then she would never be hurt again and part of it was because she was afraid that she would mess up somehow and they wouldn't want her. She had to be perfect, she couldn't make any mistakes and as a result, she was exhausted in every way. When she drew, everything fell away.
She pulled her pencils out of the drawer and opened her sketchbook to her latest drawing. It had been a challenge, because she wasn't able to sit and draw the figure in person, but had to do it from her memory. As she slowly drew the pencil across the paper, she became lost in the world of her making.
She was just finishing one of her more challenging features, the eyes, when she noticed that the sky was beginning to lighten. She rubbed her neck; she had been struggling with this eye, for at least a half an hour. She was frustrated, because she was not able to convey as much as she wanted. The eyes were windows into a persons' soul and so it was with great care that she went about creating them. She glanced at her bedside clock; 5:00am. She finished one last detail before she put her stuff away.
After pulling on some running clothes, Olivia stared at herself in mirror. She barely recognized the person staring back at her. Her dark circles were continuing to get worse. 'Thank God, for make-up,' she thought, as she began to apply some very heavily to her under-eyes. "There," she said quietly, as she applied the finishing touches. Somewhat satisfied, she then pulled her unruly curls into a ponytail and carrying her shoes headed out the door.
Olivia felt her legs stretch into a nice easy gait as she ran. She was set free once more. The crisp air brushed lightly against her skin and she could smell the morning dew, as her feet beat a steady rhythm against the pavement. Soon she began to feel the kinks working their way out of her legs and she picked up the pace. It wasn't long before she was making her way off the grounds of 'Shadow Pond' and was headed towards the beach.
Hank heard her leave, just as he did every morning. However, after the first day, he knew what she was doing. That morning, she had tried to go without waking anyone, however, Hank, being such a light sleeper, came down the stairs to see what she was going on. Finding her leaving, He had nearly flipped a lid, thinking she was trying to run away. She had apologized profusely, saying she just liked to go for an early morning run. He had felt foolish and let her go, but he waited up until she got back. After a couple mornings of her running, he didn't worry about whether she would return or not. He had other things to worry about instead. He had talked with Evan, with Jill and even Divya; he wasn't sure what to do. He knew grief took time, but he wasn't sure if he should leave her be and let her move on at her own pace, or if he should try to get her to go to counseling. Jill thought counseling couldn't hurt, but Evan wasn't so sure it was a good idea. He was worried that Olivia would be upset if they suggested it and that it might hurt their already tenuous relationship with her. Divya was on board with Jill, but said that Evan might have a point and that they should be careful how they approached the counseling route.
He rolled over and glanced at the clock; 5:15am. That was another thing, Olivia was waking up really early and she didn't seem to go to bed any earlier than them either. He heard her up as late as Evan many nights, sometimes until 1 or 2 in the morning. He knew he was going to have to step in and be firm and figure out what was going on. It was not like him to be anything but forthcoming, but with Olivia he felt at sea. He had never had a little sister and now he had to act as both father and brother to her, a role he had with Evan. However, Olivia had a completely different personality than Evan and there was something so fragile and vulnerable about her. He just felt at a complete loss with her sometimes. He knew Evan had noticed too, because he would give Him these weird looks sometimes. He realized that he was going to have to stop walking around on eggshells and start acting like himself and get things done. Olivia did not know what she was going to be in for, when she got back from her run.