27 Jan 1998
I really, really hate math. We started doing this stuff called pre-algebra and it's really hard. I don't understand it at all and it's making me mad. My favorite class is probably English. It's nice to take a foreign language, and it's so funny how they say "good morning!" instead of "ohayo!" and "buddies" instead of "tomodachi" and "happy" instead of "ureshii". I think it's such a funny language, but that makes it fun to learn.
16 Feb 1998
Another Valentine's came and went. A lot of the boys got chocolate. I got some from this one girl but I didn't like her like that. There still isn't anyone I like like that at school. I wonder if there ever will be. I sure hope they're nice.
14 Mar 1998
I turned twelve four days ago. I noticed that I've gotten a little taller from last year. I've always been short and kind of skinny, so it's nice to not be the little one anymore. I wonder if I'll ever be really tall. That would be nice, because people would start taking me seriously. Being short stinks.
6 Apr 1998
I hate rain. It's been raining all week. And my shoes don't fit. They're the same ugly tennis shoes I've had for a year. I want a pair of nice pink Cons or maybe even some boots. Daddy will probably try to get me some ugly gray sneakers. I hate gray shoes—they're so ugly. In fact, a lot of the clothes I have are ugly. I wish Daddy would let me wear what I want, even though the other kids would probably laugh.
22 May 1998
When I got home from school today I ran up to Daddy and hugged him like I always do, but he sat me down on the couch and we had a talk. He said that I was twelve now and that since I was almost a man now I should start calling him Dad instead of Daddy. I didn't get why he was saying that. So I said back, "You'll always be my daddy. And I'll always be your Harley!" And he just kind of shook his head and turned on the TV and started watching baseball. I don't understand.
18 Jun 1998
Daddy caught me wearing one of Mommy's dresses and he got really mad. He yelled at me and said that boys don't do that in this house. He didn't hit me but I was still scared. Daddy yells really loud when he's mad but I've never seen him hit anyone. I felt like crying when he yelled at me. I don't know why he'd yell at me for something as little as wearing something different. I feel really stupid lately because there's a lot of stuff going on that I don't know about or understand.
28 Aug 1998
School started early this year. I like all my teachers, except Mr. Callahan, the math teacher. He's really quiet and he just reads a book or a newspaper all day. I think he's boring. I still don't like math. The English teacher is really fun, though. She lets us do basically whatever we want.
24 Sep 1998
Maybe Mr. Callahan isn't so bad after all. He brings in candy for the kids who do well, and since the first part of the year is just review, I've been doing pretty well. He's really nice and he always smiles if you go and talk to him. Maybe he was just really shy. Also in gym class we had to dance to some weird techno music because they said it was "aerobics". It was actually kind of fun, and I'm pretty good at it.
13 Oct 1998
I decided to talk to Mr. Callahan after class today. I asked him what he likes to do and he said he liked cooking and I said I liked cooking too. I think we have a lot in common. He also lent me his favorite book. It looks really interesting and I'll try to read it when I get spare time. I think he might be my new favorite teacher.
29 Oct 1998
Mr. Callahan's really fun to talk to. He never says much about his family. I wonder what they're like, and if he has any kids. I don't even know if he's married or not. He's kind of young, only 25, so maybe not yet. We watched a movie in math class just for fun today. It was about a boy who got lost in the Safari Zone and was raised by Kangaskhan. It was really funny seeing him try to fit in with humans again. I did feel a little sorry for him, though. Oh, and there's this boy in my class and he's really nice and good-looking. (I don't want to write his name down in case anyone reads this.) He's a really good athlete, too. Sometimes I find myself staring at him during class. I know most of the boys are staring at girls, but I just don't see any reason why they wouldn't want to look at him.
15 Nov 1998
I finally asked Mr. Callahan about his family. He said he doesn't like to talk about them much because they're not exactly on the best terms. I don't know why someone like him wouldn't be able to get along with his family. I asked him if he had any kids and he said no, but he wanted some someday. Then I asked him if he had a wife or a girlfriend and he went to his drawer and pulled out a picture. It was a picture of him without his glasses, and a tall blond man with his arm around Mr. Callahan's shoulder. He said the guy's name was Kyle and that they were boyfriends. I didn't know that two guys could be boyfriends, but they looked happy. I thought about that boy in my class that I kept staring at during class and finally said, "Mr. Callahan, I think I might be like you." He smiled and said he found out he was gay when he was my age. I said I thought gay meant happy and he laughed and explained that it was when a boy liked other boys instead of girls and then I knew that it was true about me too. I guess I'm not alone after all.
18 Dec 1998
Mr. Callahan showed me more pictures of Kyle and him today. I asked about him and he said that Kyle was a mechanic and that he really loved to water ski and that they had gone to the lake together and that he had Kyle teach him how to water ski but he kept falling off, and that he had tried to teach Kyle to cook but all he could make were sandwiches and burnt pies, and that the two of them had met at Kyle's sister's Christmas party when he accidentally spilled his martini on Kyle's good sweater and that they had been together for four years now. Kyle sounds like a nice guy. If I ever get a boyfriend, I wish mine was like Kyle. Or maybe that boy in my class. (His name's Lance, by the way. But I found out he was dating this girl named Lorelei, so I guess I should give up on him.)