Attack of the Inners
Yeah, yeah…I'm finally back with another chappie…you guys are lucky that I'm updating, I guess since I've been so freaking busy…we had to go to Staples to buy school supplies TT and then …well…my dad has been making me draw for like forever these past few days. Like, yesterday, I drew for 3 ½ hours and today it went up to 5 freaking hours so I'm a little pissed right now. Don't even think about flaming me if this turns out to be a sucky chapter…I'll try to make it funny though since I need a little laugh too…Anyways, you're probably wondering why I would be mad drawing for 5 hours when I said that I sorta liked drawing. The deal is, people say that I have what they call "talent" in art, which I find is no big deal. However, they want me to CULTIVATE this talent by forcing me to draw a friggin' ugly french lady (no offense if you're french, it's just that all this drawing is killing my brain and my butt hurts from sitting on the friggin' WOOD floor for 5 hours….…god, my fingers kill right now and I'm covered in lead. The worst part is, I don't get to use charcoal, which means no charcoal drawing and I LOVE drawing with charcoal. Seriously. You should try it sometime.
Btw, if you want to read something more serious, I started a new fic, "Wishes" yesterday. It's sort of a oneshot, but if I get enough reviews, I might add another chappie or make a sequel.
Disclaimer: This thing is making me even more pissed…okay, if you're one of those big fat lawyers with a red convertible and a Mercedes along with a trophy wife, and if you STILL want more money, you're not gonna be able to sue me cuz I DON'T OWN NARUTO! There…..ya happy?
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(The next day…)
About a day had passed since Naruto and the others had eaten the cake, so obviously, right now they'd be training. Let's see what they're up to…
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Tenten and Neji walked towards the training grounds, where they waited for Gai and Lee to arrive. Surprisingly, this was the first time they had ever been earlier than the spandex-clad ninjas.
Tenten and Neji lay down on the grass.
"So, Neji…did you get over your "sucking on body parts" phase?" Tenten asked Neji, who was licking a lollipop.
"Well," Neji licked his multi-colored lollipop, "sort of…" Neji licked it again, "this lollipop is a replacement for a human body part. Hiashi has a huge storeroom filled with these things and he literally forced me to put ten of these in my mouth after finding out that I was sucking on Hanabi's toes instead of his…"
Tenten giggled, "Well, why don't you share that lollipop with me? I'm not sure I'm over the sucking thing yet…and we're sort of run out of things to suck on at home…"
Neji smirked, "And what if I don't share it?"
Tenten got a devious glint in her eye, "Then, you'll be sorry…" She started stripping Neji of his bulky jacket and proceeded to lick his back, not unlike Akamaru. However, Neji found this strangely comfortable and was about to return the favor when Lee arrived. However, he was dressed a little differently…
"'sup?"
Tenten and Neji stared at him.
O.O
Cricket.
Cricket.
Lee had shaved half his hair off, so it was sort of in a mohawk. The ends were died green and they were sort of spiked but were wilting, causing him to look like a drowned chicken, even worse than Sasuke looks when he comes out of the shower. (well, Sakura would know, anyways…) What was even more un-Lee-like was his whole outfit. Instead of the green jumpsuit that made people doubt whether he could ever pee or not, Lee had on ripped black cargo pants and chains dangling from the pockets. He had on a black muscle tee with a picture of the band, Evanescence, on him, along with a black spiked collar. (I LOVE Evanescence –their best song is "Everybody's Fool" –check it out…)
"what's wrong with you people?" Lee drawled, actually using a contraction for the first time in his life.
Tenten was the first to recover, surprisingly, "Er…you just never dress and look like this..Lee…"
Tenten started tapping on Neji's shoulder, who was still in shock. When that didn't work, she started shaking him violently.
Neji stll wasn't responding, and as a result of Tenten's shaking, his head was lolling around.
Tenten got an evil idea, "Well…Neji, if you're not going to wake up, then this will work…" She brandished a big pair of garden shears and proceeded to cut a chunk of Neji's hair.
Snip.
Snip.
However, Neji's hair wouldn't cut. Tenten started tugging on Neji's hair, causing his head to snap backwards.
"LEE, HELP ME!" Tenten was getting frustrated, while Lee was in "Sasuke-pose", leaning on a nearby tree.
Luckily, before Tenten could do any more damage to Neji and his hair, Gai appeared.
"HOW ARE YOU, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS? HAVE YOU BEEN TRAINING? I HOPE YOU HAVE BECAUSE TODAY I HAVE A SURPRISE! WE WILL…"
However, no one got to know what Gai's surprise was (luckily…) because Gai was staring openmouthed at Lee…or rather the "new" Lee.
"LEE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, MY MOST YOUTHFUL STUDENT? YOUR APPEARANCE IS NO LONGER YOUTHFUL!"
Lee sighed, clearly getting annoyed for once at his overyouthful sensei, "nothing…haven't you heard that change is good? It seems as if…your youth is fading…"
"NO! MY YOUTH IS NOT FADING! THAT CANNOT BE HAPPENING! AND WHY IS THIS COMING FROM YOU? IT IS TOO UNYOUTHFUL?"
"Gai…I'm getting bored…and you're also killing my ears."
Gai pried his mouth away from Lee's ear (oops..did that sound wrong? Well…just pretend I didn't say that…) and suddenly became serious and took on the "commercial man" voice.
"Lee, take this medicine. It is called Cymbalta, and it will ease your depression. However, if you have heart or liver problems, then you cannot take it. Here, take it, because depression hurts everyone, everywhere…"
Neji finally woke up from his trance, "Oh…Gai, that stuff doesn't work…Hiashi took it once and he turned psycho –that's why he's wearing dresses and flowery stuff…"
Hiashi took that moment to skip across the street in a pink flowery tutu, complete with ballet shoes and ribbons in his hair.
Cricket.
Cricket.
Thud.
It seemed as if Neji was out for good this time.
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Surprisingly, Sakura was the first one to arrive at their usual training area. Stretching, she looked around.
Good. Nobody was there.
She crept into the bushes and started changing (let's just say she brought an extra pair of clothes along, okay?). However, her "privacy was soon interrupted by some footsteps quickly approaching her. Sakura quickly tried to get the most of her clothes on, but the stranger was there before she was…er…fully dressed.
"Sasuke?"
The stranger was indeed Sasuke…however, he, like Lee, looked a little different. He was in some tight leather pants with lace-up combat boots and had somehow snagged some black nail polish and painted his nails black. He was wearing a black t-shirt, too, which also advertised my other favorite band, Flyleaf, and in his right hand was a ginormous bright pink boombox, courtesy of some trash left behind by Itachi. However, his hair was the same –chicken-y and cockatoo-ish.
"…Sakura?.."
Sakura suddenly got a hold of herself, "SASUKE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THESE BUSHES? I'M NOT EVEN DRESSED YET!"
Sasuke blushed (well, this IS his Inner we're talking about, so …yeah…), "Well, what are you doing in the bushes then?"
"I'm in the middle of changing!"
"Why?" Sasuke scratched his head with his free hand.
"…because the red dress made me look like an apple…I want to go for the tomato look.." Sakura was calming down. After all, if Sasuke was there in the middle of her changing, he HAD to notice her perfectly toned …er…body, right?
Sasuke suddenly grinned, which scared Sakura A LOT. I mean, the only time Sasuke has ever grinned in the manga is when he's thinking of Orochimaru, right? Oh my god, what did the snake guy DO to my Sasuke-kun? Oh well…I still have my sandman, Gaara….anyways, back to the fic…
"I LOVE TOMATOES! THEY ARE SO YOUTHFUL AND PLUMP AND JUICY!" Sasuke suddenly declared.
Sakura flushed a bright pink, so bright that her hair sort of looked washed out (just so you know, I don't think that's possible, but …yeah…), and then remembered what situation she was in.
"SASUKE! GET OUT!" As you can see, Inner Sakura has many moodswings…
Sasuke obeyed Sakura and walked to the opposite direction, where he was greeted by Kakashi.
"Yo!"
"Kakashi, do you like tomatoes?"
Kakashi frowned. The effects of the cake started to take over him again, "NO! I DO NOT LIKE TOMATOES! MY ONLY LIKES ARE TRAINING, READING ICHA ICHA PARADISE, AND MY YOUTHFUL BELOVED ANKO!"
Sasuke yelled back, not liking this anti-tomato side of Kakashi, "TOMATOES ARE THE BEST! EVEN SAKURA SAYS SO!"
Kakashi scratched his head, "Wait…where's Sakura…and Naruto?"
Sakura chose this time to walk out of the bushes in her new outfit, complete with makeup. Let's see, (uses one of those weird reporter people voices) Sakura is wearing a highly fashionable red top, which flaunts what she has. Oh girl, you are WORKING it! The jeans are Lucky™ brand jeans and girl, they are TIGHT. Along with her outfit, Sakura has some black combat boots, very fashionable, if I must say, and some gold and silver bangles. Make-up is blue and green eyeshadow/eyeliner and pale pink lip gloss. (puts down mega-phone)
Sasuke and Kakashi immediately had nosebleeds. Unfortunately, Kakashi fell into a nearby pond and was kidnapped by Anko, who carried him to her house…for some…er…torture….
Sasuke, on the other hand, finally figured out what to do. He turned on his boombox and started singing.
Oh
baby, baby
Oh baby, baby Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to
know
That something wasn't right here
Oh baby baby
I
shouldn't have let you go
And now you're out of sight, yeah
Show
me, how you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know
now what we've got
My loneliness is killing me
I must confess,
I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a
sign
Hit me baby one more time
Sasuke screamed the last part out as Sakura started grinding with him.
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Meanwhile, Naruto and Hinata were at the Hyuuga compound, eating ramen.
"So, Naruto what do you want to eat?" Hinata was trying to restrain herself from cussing.
"Eer…how about miso ramen?"
"Sure!" Hinata smiled, getting the stuff ready.
"Believe it!"
Five minutes later.
"HOLY FRIGGIN' SHIT! THE WATER'S ON FIRE!"
Naruto tried to put the fire, but ended up getting his jumpsuit on fire. Hinata rushed to help him put out the fire on himself and the ramen, but it was too late.
Half an hour later, the fire was out, but not before Naruto's and Hinata's clothes were all burnt….so….they had nothing on….
"Naruto….you are so friggin' hot, you know that?" Hinata edged closer to Naruto.
"H-h-hinata?" Naruto was acting like the usual Hinata and was turning a bright red.
"Well…" Hinata was on top of Naruto by now.
"…" Naruto gulped.
Hinata pulled some handcuffs out and handcuffed Naruto to the fridge.
"Get ready…" Hinata pressed herself against Naruto.
Naruto, unfortunately, lost it.
"HINATA! DON'T RAPE ME! I DON'T WANNA BE THE UKE!"
Hinata scowled, "Naruto, a) you know you want this…and b) we're not gay…."
That comforted Naruto…a little bit. He relaxed and enjoyed the show.
OK…MOVING ON…(what happens with Naruto and Hinata will make the rating go up …so …yeah…and plus, I don't like writing lemons)
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Kiba and Shino were at the training grounds; however, they were doing anything BUT training…(not THAT people…god, I'm not THAT bad, am I?)
Kiba was …er…making out with Akamaru, who didn't seem to be enjoying it one bit. To tell you the truth, Kiba was using his hands to pry open the dog's mouth and was almost choking the poor dog to death with his tongue. Everytime, Kiba came up for air, Akamaru would try to shut his mouth, but only ended up with more tongue stuck somewhere down his throat. He tried growling, but his poor throat was being killed.
Shino, on the other hand, wasn't REALLY torturing anything. He was more like Snow White and had lured all the squirrels to where he and Kiba were and was dancing with them. Well, the squirrels basically didn't have a choice, as they were threatened with the possibility of never having any nuts again. And that was meant both food-related and anatomy-related, people. (aren't I evil? XD)
Anyways, Shino was too busy disco dancing and Kiba was too busy...er…sucking dog face to notice Kurenai come into view. However, she brought along a little plaything…or should we say a "special someone". Unfortunately, that special someone turned out to be Asuma.
"Oohh…Asuma, look at the little kiddies playing with the animals! They remind me of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!"
"…" Apparently, Asuma was smoking something other than his normal cigarrettes. More like crack. Or pot. Or speed. Take your pick.
"Asuma, why don't we play pretend? I can be Snow White and you can be…um…" Kurenai pouted, unable to think what character Asuma was most like.
"Er…how about the prince…" Asuma was blushing under his tan.
"Oh! I got it! You can be one of the dwarves!" Apparently, Kurenai hadn't heard Asuma.
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(in the middle of the woods)
Tsunade, Shizune, and Jiraiya were watching what was happening on primetime.
"And so…" Bob was announcing, "you should all beware of rabid squirrels, as depicted in the video of Shino disco-dancing with those animals, disco music makes squirrels rabid."
Cricket.
Cricket.
Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Shizune sat staring.
"AHH! RABID SQUIRREL! RABID SQUIRREL!" Bob ran off the screen.
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So, how was it? I was going to update Cleared as well but I'm too lazy right now and I wanna watch tv…anyways, REVIEW! Or I will make the rabid squirrels visit you! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (thank you, thank you) Oh, and the policy is still on, it's just that for this chappie, I had to finish is quickly cuz my computer time is up so ja ne!