Chapter 6
Hey you guys! Sorry this is a day late…I was too…er…caught up in reading some fanfics….i apologize for that…anyways, some of these ideas were sorta from my sister and they were just too good for me to pass up so …yeah…here they are…Oh, and thanks to Arue who gave me some ideas for Sasuke's songs…seriously…thank you, Arue and my OTHER AWESOMELY COOL REVIEWERS! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, then Itachi would have one of those Italian mustaches…lol…can you picture that?
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Orochimaru looked around.
"Wait…did you say Michael Jackson? Who is he?"
Kankuro pulled out a photograph out of his pants (er…not THERE, people…XD), "That's the guy…doesn't he look like you?"
Blink.
Blink.
"Like, oh my god! He's like TOTALLY hot! Like, where does he live?" Orochimaru suddenly sounded…er…girlier than usual.
Temari spoke up, "He lives in Neverland…yeah…but he's a child molester…."
Orochimaru's eyes widened as the group watched on.
"I WANT HIS BODY!"
"Um…Oro-chan…." Kabuto emerged from the bushes, "have you given up on Sasuke's body?"
"I MUST FIND MICHAEL JACKSON!"
"Er…Oro-chan?"
Sasuke sniggered at Kabuto's nickname for Orochimaru as the snake sannin turned towards and started walking in his direction.
"So…SSSSSSSassssssssuke…..you're not JEALOUS, are you?" Orochimaru started stroking Sasuke's cheek as and held onto his (Sasuke's) waist.
THUMP!
Orochimaru was on the ground with a HUGE footprint on the middle of his face.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR MESSING WITH MY SASUKE! Sakura's foot was still grinding Orochimaru's nose.
"Never. Touch. My. Sasuke."
"AHHH! IT'S THE PINK-HAIRED BOOGEYMAN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Kabuto grabbed Orochimaru's hand and started running, before they got killed by the…er… "pink-haired boogyman"…or should I say, "boogeywoman…"
All eyes turned to Sakura, who was still grinding the dirt beneath her feet where Orochimaru's nose was a few minutes ago.
Sasuke slowly walked up to Sakura, who was in front of him, and put his arms around her.
"Thank you, Sakura….i don't know what I would have done without you….as a gift, I will sing my favorite song for you." (A/N: XD…I LOVE torturing Sasuke like this…hmm…maybe I should make him start crying…XD)
The boom box was turned on as the music blasted out. Sasuke began to sing.
(A/N: PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE LYRICS! (if you want to be scarred or if you wanna get the whole point of this chapter… XD)
Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of
mating
But there are several other very important
differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know
about
I'd appreciate your input
You and me baby ain't nothin'
but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but
mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do
it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it
like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
Gaara
stopped twiddling with Barbie.
Temari stopped doing handstands and cartwheels.
Kankuro stopped stroking his picture of Michael Jackson.
Sakura was…er…GLADLY obeying what the song was saying and was totally going at it with Sasuke on the ground where our favorite Snake Sannin's nose once was.
Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro started backing away slowly from the two "mammals" who were going at it like on the Discovery Channel. When they were safely away from the two (they could only hear some occasional moans…XD), Gaara coughed.
"So, Kankuro…I never knew you were INTERESTED in Michael Jackson in THAT sort of way."
Kankuro huffed at Gaara's suggestion, "oh…that's nothing…just used to be in to his music, that's all…"
Temari smirked, "So that's why you carry his picture around everywhere?"
"Well, it can come in handy! It just did a few minutes ago, didn't it?"
Gaara sighed, "Well, we now have a new problem on our hands. We have to stop those two," Gaara flicked a hand over in the direction of Sasuke and Sakura, "to stop going at it long enough so we can get out of the woods…that way, they can rent a hotel room while I go to the Academy."
"Wait…why are you going to the Academy? Only kids are there?" Temari frowned.
"Gaara probably wants to kill them…or do it with them like on the D. Channel…" Kankuro started giggling.
Gaara narrowed his eyes.
"They have a sandbox. Now let's go."
"Oooohhh….little Gaara likes playing in the itty bitty sandbox!" Temari teased.
Gaara started uncorking his gourd, a sign that he was getting irritated.
However, something popped out.
Something that wasn't sand.
Kankuro leapt at the flying rubbery yellow thing and caught it in his hand.
"Give it back."
"Not until I see what it is."
"Give it."
Kankuro opened his hand just as Gaara snatched it away. However, he had already gotten a glimpse of it.
"Gaara…are you for real?"
"What? What's going on?" Poor Temari was in the dark.
Kankuro explained to his sister, "Gaara's getting…er…ready…for some Discovery Channel…he's growing up! Gaara is now a man! Yahoo!"
Temari fought down puke as she listened to Kankuro and looked at Gaara who was fingering the rubber thing. (if you haven't figured out what it is, shame on you…you're too innocent to read this..XD…jk…just PM me if you really don't know and you really wanna be scarred for life but DON'T if you haven't had "the talk" yet….seriously…) (oh, and gaara's not fingering the thing THAT way, people…seriously, I'm not that crazy..XD)
"Is Kankuro telling the truth?"
Gaara blushed.
Temari sighed.
"Fine. Come on. We have to get you that new Icha Icha Paradise edition that just came out. At least you'll be prepared."
Gaara nodded, completely UNPREPARED for what he was about to read.
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(in the middle of the woods)
The jounin had all gathered at Tsunade's house again, and they were all eating popcorn as they were watching primetime.
"Oh god…" Anko whispered.
"Yeah…I can't believe Sasuke would actually watch the Discovery Channel…" Kakashi shuddered at the thought of his favorite student watching documentaries and mating episodes between elephants and who knows what.
"No…it's not that, Kakashi…what Anko's trying to say is that she never knew that Sasuke could actually go at it like in the Discovery Channel…" Asuma explained, eyes still glued to the screen.
"Oh…I knew that all along…" Kakashi smirked.
"Oh, and did you? How would you know about that?" Anko frowned, glaring at Kakashi.
"Oh…uh…well, you see…we were in the middle of sparring…and…er…"
Luckily, Kakashi was saved (and our minds also…XD) because Kurenai interrupted them with a shout of laughter.
"GAARA…."
Pant.
"PUTS…"
Pant.
"YOU-KNOW-WHAT'S"
Pant.
"ON HIS CORK!"
Unfortunately, since everyone else had been paying attention to the conversation between Kakashi and Anko, they thought Kurenai was making an innuendo about what was happening on tv.
"Oh…baby…why don't we try that to? Hmmm? That way, you'll be PROTECTED…." Asuma whispered seductively in Kurenai's ear. Within seconds, they were on top of each other.
-sighs- it seems as if the potion hasn't worn off yet…XD
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It had been four long hours.
And Sasuke and Sakura were still going at it.
Hard.
Suddenly, the two weren't alone, as they heard some rustling in the bushes. However, the two were too…er…preoccupied…that they didn't notice whoever it was until he stepped out of the bushes…
Wearing green spandex.
"CHOUJI!" (you thought it was Lee, right? Haha….anyways, this is gonna be more scary..XD)
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN GREEN SPANDEX! YOU'RE RUINING MY EYES! THEY BURN!" Sakura screamed and hugged a very naked Uchiha next to her for comfort.
"WELL, WHY ARE YOU AND SASUKE NAKED!" Chouji retorted back, his stomach jiggling in the tight spandex.
Suddenly, Orochimaru popped up.
"Hey! Get some fashion sense, will ya? No one wears a blue underwear on his head with green spandex….change into a pink underwear!"
And with that, Orochimaru disappeared, crying, "MICHAEL JACKSON, I LOVE YOU!"
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(Neverland)
Michael Jackson sneezed.
"…hmm…might be some wannabe crushing on my picture again…" the legendary singer –cough-molester-cough- sighed as he poured himself some tea.
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(somewhere…)
Itachi was on the sofa watching his Gaara uncork his gourd and the condom flying into the air. Then, the screen showed Sasuke and Sakura going at it. Hard. Finally, Chouji stepped out, clad in green spandex.
The elder Uchiha dropped his popcorn.
Behind him, Kisame came out.
"Er…Itachi?"
"Hn…"
"We have a slight problem…"
"What is it?" Itachi's eyes were glued to the screen.
"It seems as if the toilet has exploded."
Itachi turned around and looked at Kisame.
"What!"
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And there you have it, folks! The 6th chapter of Attack of the Inners…wow….this took forever…oh, and btw, I've been getting so few reviews! It's making me so sad…:(…ah well….this IS for my own amusement anyways…..well, REVIEW! Seriously, it gives me more motivation…cuz it seems the review count has dropped these past 2 chapters…anyways, THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO ARE GOING AND WHO HAVE REVIEWED! YOU GUYS DESERVE COOKIES!
Ja ne!