"OK, Serket. How do you want to do this?" Dave asks, massaging his temples. Just being near her is giving him a bit of a headache. No matter how this is gonna go down, not looking at her is probably the best bet.

"Well, agent Dave Strider, seeing as how I'm better than you at just about everything, I thought we might enjoy a game of chance? Square the playing field a bit, or the pitch as you'd call it, hmm? That said, I'd still have the advantage- after all, I do have-"

"All the luck, yeah, I've read your file. Bloody cheat is what you are, just really damn good at it." Dave replies, squaring his shoulders and facing her. The breeze is wafting her perfume towards him. She smells like ash and cinnamon.

"You good back there, Harley?" He calls, not turning around.

"Mind your own fucking business, I'm still mad at you!" Comes Jade's reply. "You're lucky another punching bag came along or you'd have two angry women to deal with!"

Serket palms the small blue stones, then tosses four of them from one hand to the other. She stretches out her fine grey hands, a blue octahedron between each manicured finger- eight in all. "The name of the game is Baccarat. We're gonna use these dice instead of cards. You know the rules, yeah? Winner takes all… In other words, a match to the death."

Strider smirks. "Sounds like a blast, babe. We just gonna play here in the hall or should we find a more appropriate venue?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to miss the show…" The troll's voice is dark and low, but there's a distinctly girlish note there- ears less trained than Striders' would probably miss it. It's demanding, sultry, exciting. This Vriska Serket is a hell of a woman.

This is actually going to be fun.

Dave turns to follow her gaze and the two opponents spend a moment watching the hallway's other occupants. In predictable American Female Agent style, Jade's unzipped her bodysuit to her chest, exposing a fair bit of pale, freckled cleavage- still not as much as her gown earlier had, but nonetheless better than before. The irony is not lost on Strider- no irony ever is. The effect her exposed flesh is having on the huge muscular troll is quite different, though.

"Really, madam, I insist you at least attempt to dress appropriately! It's a custom-"

"Take your bullshit custom and shove it! We gonna do this or not!"

"Hrrm. Fine. Very well, I shall begin." The troll gives his massive forehead a cursory wipe and arranges his hands in an odd pose, something akin to a Sagittarius symbol. "My name is Equius, from the noble line of-"

Jade has taken a running start and launched herself in a flying kick right towards the troll's brawny chest. Somewhere along the way, she cries "Fuck youuuuuu!"

She connects with a whack and rebounds, landing on the ground in front of him on three points. He shows absolutely no ill effect. Didn't even teeter.

Wait, something's happening. He's reaching into his pocket, pulls something out. It's a dismally cracked pair of tinted sunglasses. With a shaky hand, he flips the temples open and slides them onto his scowling face. He begins to speak in a solemn tone. "Human. I've extended the courtesy befitting a blueblood to you, and you slapped it away. You continue to insult my honor. You have proven yourself shameless, incapable of respect, and utterly filthy of mind and spirit. I'm having serious trouble controlling myself."

"Ha! That's what your mom said, fuckass!" Jade calls back, sticking out her tongue.

Dave turns around. "I can't watch this shit, it's embarrassing. On behalf of the entire human race, I apologize."

"Whatever! I have important people to fuck-and-or-kill after this, so let's get started!" Vriska crows, flipping her long snarls of black hair. She tosses Dave four of the blue dice. "You roll two. Add 'em up and you want the total to be as close to a number ending in a nine as possible. If you want, you can roll a third one, but that's it."

"I know how to play baccarat. I'm a secret agent," Strider replies, cool as ever.

The troll woman's black lips curl into a half-smile. "Outstanding." She withdraws a cell phone, pokes it a bit, and a display comes up on Strider's shades. He's got ten thousand boonbucks' worth of credit to use in the game.

If there's one thing Strider knows for sure, it's that this game isn't going to come down to luck. It's going to come down to who can cheat better. And Vriska Serket is an absolute world-class grandmaster of cheating. She didn't just write the book, she wrote the reference library. She's wanted on outstanding warrants for impersonating doctors, lawyers, a judge on one occasion, police officers female and male, and more than a few federal agents. The file flashing on Dave's shades warns him based on police reports from the last two years she can bench 200 kilograms and run 5 kilometers in 10 minutes. Sabotage, grand larceny, arson, dozens of counts of public intoxication, the list goes on and on.

Plus there's the mind control thing.

Externally, Dave is cool as a cucumber, but his mind is buzzing. If he can't come up with a plan quick, this is the end for him. The troll has weaknesses, they're just hard to spot- but the one thing he has over her will be the key to his victory, if he can last long enough to exploit it. He tosses two of the dice, barely paying attention to oh wow an 8 that's pretty good.

Predictably Vriska flicks the dice out of her hand and rolls a 9, first try. One 4 and one 5.

Fuck.

"Hahaha! I tried to warn you, but noooooooo! You still thought you could win. What a loser!" Vriska's jeers barely faze Dave. In fact, it's all he can do to keep from smirking.

If he can just get her overconfident enough to drop her tricks, he'll have her. He knows her temper is the weak point in her defenses. Pride goeth before a fall, as they say, and while Dave Strider is anything but a humble man, he's at least less vain than the vainest troll in existence.

"Not bad," he allows. "By the way, I can't help but notice you look ravishing tonight. And what on Earth is that scent?" He collects the pair of dice from the carpeted floor.

"It's nothing on Earth at all, as a matter of fact. It's Alternian. Now let's see…" She jabs her cell phone and Dave's shades inform him he's lost 1,000 boonbucks.

"Well, that explains it. Guess I'd better get serious, eh? Alright then." He tosses the dice again. It's a 6. Vriska rolls a round 9 once again: he now has 8,000 bucks left.

"Blast."

Meanwhile, he's captchalogued the two other dice Vriska gave him and informed CQ via his shades he needs visually-identical copies made, weighted for the high-range numbers. They tell him one minute and they'll send them right into the pocket he captcha'd the original pair from. He gives them 45 seconds.

7,000. 6,000. He's running out of time. Fortunately, he's still got a full tank of banter. If he didn't take a break to chat Serket up between rounds, he'd be dead before the altimeter crew could even get their shit in gear.

"Now let me ask you something I've never had a chance to check, Serket, my dear. Those lovely horns of yours- are they an erogenous zone? Please, stop me if I'm being too forward."

Vrisket merely cackles, exposing those shiny, sharp fangs. "Why don't you come over here and give 'em a rub? 'Course, I kept the last hands that touched them…"

"Woah, babe, I'm just trying to bridge the mysterious gap between our two species. No need to go all Starship Troopers on me."

Dave collects the dice from the floor. The new ones appear in his pocket. "You know what, you've rolled four 9's in a row. Sorry to throw your godlike luck into question, but where I'm from this is about when we cry foul. I'm calling for a trade." As he's saying this, he palms the normal dice, replacing them with the loaded ones in an indistinguishable exchange. He holds out the loaded dice.

"You want to change dice? Fine by me. I don't need to tamper with my tools to get results. Here," She swaggers over to him and swipes the fixed dice out of his hand, then disdainfully replaces them with her ostensibly normal ones. For a second, it seems her face betrays a look of worry. Maybe he's just imagining it. He tosses them and catches them a couple times, nods once, and lets them fly. 8 and 6, totaling 4. Vriska cackles again, and tosses her dice. She rolls two 7s, also equaling 4. They briefly make eye contact- Dave through his shades and Vriska through her thin glasses. She's got no smart comment, in fact she's visibly shaken by her poor roll.

They each ready another dice, then Dave puts his back and says, "You know? I'll stand. Let's let this hinge on your luck." She grudgingly tosses the die. An 8. Total score of 2 now. Dave wins.

Winning one isn't enough though- he's got to ensure his victory further. He messages CQ to manufacture a new pair that will statistically roll him mostly 8's and 9's. They say they'll do what they can.

Vriska is no longer smiling. She's checking the dice over, looking for any signs, but the altimeter crew back at base are good- she can't detect any flaws. "What, can't stand to lose even once? Come on, love, don't keep me waiting."

The spidertroll wordlessly rolls the dice. 8 and 7, total of 5. She begrudgingly throws another one. Another 8, for a total score of 3 to Dave's 6.

"OK, what the fuck did you do?" she growls, glaring at Strider. Her fine shoulders bunch and her fists clench.

"I didn't do a damn thing. I have to conclude you were using loaded dice before, based on these last few results, and I just ended up with them. Tell you what, I'll just toss these ones out," he tosses the pair behind his shoulders and towards the sounds of Jade and Equius brawling, "And use the other two you gave me. Think you can toss me your fourth dice to use as a backup?"

Vriska has no choice but to comply. Now stuck with dice loaded against her, Vriska's luck won't be enough to web her a victory. Dave reaches into his pocket and pulls out the freshly minted loaded pair, captchaloguing the other pair of normal dice. He's set, everything is going in his favor. "How about a raise? Instead of 1,000 per hand, let's do 3." He's amazed that Vriska hasn't seen through his plan, or if she has, hasn't reacted to it. The score quickly seesaws from 8,000-12,000 in Vriska's favor to 17,000-3,000 in Dave's. Vriska is so angry she's practically steaming. Dave, cool as ever, plays it off.

"Well, last round. Here's hoping this little run of luck continues," and he carelessly tosses the dice. 9. "That's game, unless you can match it."

"Fuck you. Fuck you hard." Vriska replies, and with an intense look of concentration on her stone-colored face, she rolls the dice like one might release a lightning bug trapped in one's hands.

The dice skip across the carpet. One by one they stop. 8, and another 8. Total of 6.

"That's game. It's been a pleasure, Miss Serket, and now I suppose it's time I collect my reward." Killing Serket is out of the question. She's too valuable as a source of information.

Vriska looks remarkably composed, considering this may be the first loss of her entire career. "Very well. Whatever it is you want. I expect it's my life?" She tosses her long mane of dark hair over her shoulder. "Though it's a real shame, if you ask me, cutting a specimen like me down in my prime. I suppose I deserve it though, having done the same to countless others."

"Actually I had another reward in mind. Something a bit more pleasant for the both of us," Strider replies coolly. "A kiss, if you'd be so kind, and perhaps your phone number so I could give you a ring if I'm feeling lonely." This might not be the best idea but this is an opportunity no man would pass up.

From the far end of the hall, "I'm still here, Strider!"

Vriska Serket's delicate cheekbones assume a cerulean hue. "Well then… If that's all… I suppose I could be convinced…" She sidles towards him, black lips already parting slightly. Strider is wary for traps, but honestly it's hard to stay focused with a powerful psychic coming at you with sloppy makeouts in mind. He reminds himself to stand up straight, be careful of her eye, and most of all make sure Jade sees them.

The troll makes contact first. She wraps her slender arms around his shoulders, being almost as tall as him, and splays her palms on his shoulder blades. Drawing her body into his, she feels along his jawbone with her cheek, exhaling a breath that smells of exotic spices- coriander, cardamom, caraway, he's not even sure. "Something like this?" She whispers.

Dave Strider's senses are absolutely overwhelmed with Vriska right now; she pervades each and every one of them. Being near her is a whole different experience. If he doesn't take the initiative the opportunity will soon be gone. He slides his hands around her thin waist, pulls her closer to him, dives for her lips. Dear God she tastes like hot embers and smoke in the eyes.

He slides a hand up her back, uncovered by the gown she's wearing, and traces the smooth skin along her spine. Her body is all knotted muscle and sinew, but as he buries the hand in the curls at the nape of her neck he marvels at the softness of her hair. Her tongue slides over his lip, along his teeth. He responds in kind. She moans. He explores her tandoor of a mouth with his tongue, relishing the warmth and alien taste. Come on Strider, he thinks finally, enough is enough, you've got shit to DO tonight.

Reluctantly he pulls away, eliciting a disappointed mumble from the troll. For a moment everything melts away and there's nothing but the two of them; no jobs, identities, grudges, even the fact they're from different planets doesn't matter. Then it's gone, quickly as it came.

"Here's my card," he whispers, palming one of the broken record cards. "Call me anytime."

"Sleight of hand. So that's how you did it," she says, a knowing smirk failing to disguise the heavy blush on her cheeks.

"My darling, if you want to know what these hands can do, you only need to call that number." And with that he turns away. Vriska just smiles and slips the card into her clutch purse, before exiting the hall the way she came in, with perhaps a fraction less swagger to the sway of her hips.

Honestly, that could have gone much worse.

"Jade, are you quite done? We've still got a fishtroll to fry, you know!"

"Just a second!" she shouts, still facing down the massive weirdo of a troll. He seems to be on the brink. With a well-placed punch to the face, Jade sends couple of his broken teeth flying, and with a THOOM he collapses onto the floor clearly unconscious. "OK, all done. Man, that felt good. It's weird though- almost like he enjoyed being choked..."

"You know, Harley, you really are something else. I admit I had my doubts, but I can honestly say I've never had the pleasure of working with a more capable- or beautiful- field agent in my life."

"You're not bad yourself, Mr. Strider. I figured you were all looks and no brains, but outwitting Vriska Serket isn't a job for any old cannon fodder."

"Stop, you're gonna make me blush. Now I'm knackered and in need of a stiff drink, so let's just find this watery bastard and be done with it."