A/N- Hello again! Since I got some positive feedback on the first Hetalia oneshot I wrote, I decided to write another, and make this fic a collection of oneshots. This one took me 3-4 days to write. Well, I wrote the first 3 paragraphs on day 1 and the rest on day 4, but who cares about the specifics? There was so much I wanted to include in this one, but I'm mostly happy with how it came out (I couldn't put in everything), although the end feels kind of rushed. I'm getting tired and my brain's dying, but I wanted to get this finished. I hope it's okay- reviews are very welcome! I try to reply to every single one.

So, this fic is T for foul mouths and um... France (you'll see). More slight USUK too! (Probably more so this time than last). I also spent a good chunk of my writing time researching the things discussed in the fic... Atlantis is not what I thought it was (but I loved the Disney movie- it was the first dvd my family ever bought). Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer- Whoops, forgot to do this last time! Uh, me no own Hetalia. Otherwise I would be in there going drinking with England (but I'm underage so i'd just have a coke).

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America's 'Lost Empire'

ooo

Date- Wednesday 13th July 2011

Location- Rome, Italy

Weather- Warm and sunny with some clouds and a light breeze.

Basking on the warm, crumbling stone of an ancient, fallen pillar, a cat purred. Shafts of sunlight cut across the landscape, picking out the peaks and troughs of the once mighty ruins. With a huff, the blond collapsed onto the pillar, parking himself in between his companion and the feline. Panting with the exertion of his now ceased activity, he wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with the back of his right hand as the harsh sunlight rained down upon his pale skin. His green eyes were half-lidded as he peered up at the sky. Nearby, a figure lay sprawled out over the remains of a column, slumbering peacefully.

"You know, Italy, I'm starting to think it was a bad idea to cave in to America's pleading and look for clues to the location of the lost city of Atlantis in the ruins of Ancient Rome…"

"Ah, maybe you're right… But it's fun, ve?"

England glanced over at his fellow excavator's cheerful expression. Unsurprisingly, the Italian seemed to be unaffected by the warm weather. Well, it was his country after all.

"Indeed. I'm quite a fan of archaeology myself. The United Kingdom is full of ancient sites and artefacts. I'm just happy that the three of us could pool together our expertise on this one. Still, I didn't expect Greece to fall asleep so quickly…"

Italy laughed and patted the Brit's shoulder with a hand. "That's Greece for you! Anyway, I was wandering… what happened to America? Wasn't he supposed to join us?"

England grimaced and slumped forwards as he recalled the events of the past few days. "Ah… that's… a long story…"

"That's okay. I've got time!"

The blond chuckled and then leaned back, peering into the sky for a moment. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. After a moment, a smile slowly spread across his face, and he looked across at Italy, ready to begin his story.

"Well, it all began last Monday…"

ooo

Date- Monday 11th July 2011

Location- Generic Meeting Room, Somewhere in Nevada, USA

Weather- Outside: Hot, Inside: Ridiculously hot because someone broke the air con… (Italy)

"Hey! What's up everyone! Are we all here yet?"

England gave the American his most withering look and sighed, returning his cup to its saucer. "That depends; you never told us who you invited here or why."

"Hmm, let me see now…" America thought, slumping down into his chair. He started counting on his fingers as he listed the countries he'd summoned. "England, France, Germany, Italy, that other Italian guy, China, Russia, Japan, Greece, Spain and… um… err… Oh who cares? If I can't remember them they probably aren't important anyway."

"Half-wit," England muttered.

"This remind me of ancient story about annoyed tiger who went swimming…" China mused.

"Asshole!" Romano cussed and tried to stand up, only to be seized around the waist by Veneziano and hauled back down.

"Please don't start a fight Romano!" the younger brother pleaded, clinging tightly to his flailing sibling. Next to them, Germany did something which can be described as most closely resembling a 'facepalm'.

"Anyway, moving on…" America interrupted, somehow managing to drown out the growing cacophony the room's occupants seemed to be generating. He glanced at each member for a brief moment, noting that Greece was already asleep; Spain was munching on churros ; France was twiddling with a piece of string and shaping it into what appeared to be a love heart; England was pouring himself another cup of tea; Germany was berating the Italy brothers; Russia was… well he was staring at them all with a smile but he was probably planning something evil; Japan appeared to be groaning internally while watching his friends and China looked like he was drawing up plans to construct a Chinatown in the meeting room. "Time to talk to you all about why I called you here."

At this the others finally began to give him their attention. Romano was coaxed back down into his seat; Greece half-opened one eye and China tucked his blueprints away. The aura in the room could be described as 'mild curiosity', although most of the countries present (especially England) were expecting this to simply be a waste of their time.

"I called you all here," America announced, beaming with pride and excitement, "to unveil my new plan to you. You're so totally gonna love it- it's got action, excitement and adventure! I present to you: Operation Atlantis!"

At this he mentally punched the air in glee and held up a piece of paper with the words 'Plan- Find the lost city of Atlantis! (And claim it for the USA)' written on it. The countries expressions could be grouped into three categories: intrigued, bemused and disdainful.

"Just as I thought, another of your asinine schemes," England groaned, sipping from his teacup.

"Another load of horse crap," Romano concurred.

"I think it sounds like fun!" Italy beamed, eyes sparkling as he pictured himself gazing at the ancient wonders of the lost city. "Don't you Germany?"

Germany looked at Italy, full of ambivalence. His logical side told him to dismiss the idea as ludicrous, but Italy looked so happy and enthusiastic that it was making him want to agree. In the end he settled for, "I'm not sure."

"What do you think, Greece?" France asked from across the table, setting his string heart down. "It was Plato who first mentioned Atlantis, and he was Greek, non?"

Greece stared at the Frenchman for a moment, unsure whether or not to answer. Eventually he responded with, "…I …I think it sounds okay. Maybe… if we work together… we can find it."

"Great!" America beamed. "That's one down! What about you, Russia?"

"I think it good idea to dig for lost city. That way, while your backs are turned and you are busy, I can take my pickaxe and-"

"I think we'll be fine without your help, Russia," America interrupted, terrified of the dark aura the country was emanating, and the almost-sadistic look on his face as a quiet chant of 'kolkolkol' drifted across the room. Sat next to the Russian, China edged away in his seat. Moving on, America decided to ask the panda-fan.

"Uh… China, what do you say?"

China gave Russia one last wary glance before turning his nose up at America's offer. "No thank you. Your plan is stupid aru."

"Well, if you say so. Spain?" America gave a hopeful look at the man in question, who had now finished his churros and was looking longingly at the tomato Italy had given Romano to calm him down.

"I would like to, but I promised to go with South Italy on holiday to Africa, so neither of us can join in."

At this America looked slightly upset, but his usual optimism soon kicked back in. "Germany?"

The German still seemed ambivalent, and his gaze kept flickering between his hands on the table, Italy and America. "I don't really want to help with the digging, but…" He sighed. "I will pay for transport and get you any equipment you need."

"Awesome! Welcome to the team, man! Italy?"

"Count me in! As long as there's pasta!"

"All the pasta you can eat!" the American promised, now euphoric. "Japan?"

"I am sorry. I am busy for the next few weeks."

"France?"

"Hmm, the idea of a treasure hunt does sound romantic. And if the others have agreed, then I will help."

Lastly, America turned to his old guardian. England raised an eyebrow at him and set down his tea

"Well, personally I think it's a waste of time…"

"Aww, please, England?"

The Brit winced as he was forced to stare in the man's pleading puppy-dog eyes which were slowly filling with tears. Part of him wanted to leap up and agree, declaring 'of course, anything for you, America', but he could never admit that. It also tore at his heart as he pictured the little America before him, instead of his grown-up counterpart, and he knew that if America had still been a boy, he wouldn't have even had to ask the question- his assistance would be guaranteed. But these days, America was independent, and never looked at him with the same unquestioning, revering look he had been so fond of when the man had been a child. These days the two of them squabbled and bickered, and it was only in a few rare moments like these that one could witness echoes of the past.

He bit his lip as he gazed into those blue eyes, heart literally torn in two. The moment seemed to last for hours, but was actually only twenty seconds, before he gave a sigh, closed his eyes, rested his chin on his hands and surrendered. "All right then. I'll help you with your half-wit scheme. I do have some experience with this sort of thing, and I have a better idea of what archaeology actually entails, rather than the Indiana Jones style escapade you probably have in mind."

Grinning, America leaned over and punched the green-eyed man's arm, whilst nudging the corner of his hat and whip back under the desk with a toe. England yelped in pain and clutched his arm. "Not so hard you git! I know it's a friendly gesture, but not if you break my arm!"

England reached his left arm around to grasp the American's wrist and pry him off. But as he did so, he leaned forward, and something small and rectangular slipped out of his breast pocket with a soft thump. Eyes flicking down, he squeaked, a faint blush highlighting his cheeks, and he released the Yank to grab his possession. Of course, it was just his luck that the American got there first.

"Hey, what're these?"

"Th-those? Nothing. Nothing. They're nothing. Just give them back now, okay?" His voice wavered.

"Hang on a second. Are these… tarot cards?"

England relented with a quiet 'Bugger.' "Yes. They're tarot cards. Happy now?"

America looked, much to the Englishman's disappointment, intrigued. "Can we try them out?"

England rolled his eyes and nodded a yes. At this, Romano stood up.

"Look, this is just wasting my time. I'm going. Come on Veneziano."

"Romano-!" Italy protested, but was dragged out of the room by his brother.

Germany turned to Spain. "We should probably go after them."

"If you say so," the Spaniard agreed, and the two men left their seats and followed the Italians out.

"If they are going, I should get going to. I am very busy and have things to do." Japan excused himself with a slightly nervous look and left. Without many words, China followed after.

"Well they're boring," America commented as he watched the last of the departing countries go.

"Let's just get this over with, shall we?" England groaned, spreading the cards out on the table. France leaned in to watch, and America looked on curiously as the Brit divined his fortune. After a few minutes he sat up, biting his knuckle in thought. America leaned in, eyes jumping from one card to another, a little nervous of what the man was going to say.

"Well?"

"Hmm. I can't be one hundred per cent certain, but I think I know what's going to happen. I am well-versed in magic after all."

"And?"

"Well, it says that you will receive a sudden windfall. Sometime after that, there will be lust, followed by… hmm, I'm not too sure but it has something to do with water. Family. And then, well… I can't really tell…"

England actually did know what came next, but he wasn't sure how he felt about it, and certainly didn't want to reveal it. He also thought it would be bad for America (or at least the rest of them, who would have to put up with his reaction) if he told him.

Yes. It definitely isn't a good idea to tell him that the final card signifies love, he thought.

"I thought you said you were good at magic. How come- Oh! A quarter!"

He bent down, eyes shining, and reached for the shiny coin. At that point, France caught sight of something he liked. Something he really liked. And the Frenchman couldn't help himself. He reached out and grabbed it. It felt remarkably firm.

"Oh hon hon hon…"

"My ass!" America cried out, reeling around. He felt violated. France had groped him! He stared wide eyed at the man, stuck in a state of disbelief. France smiled and waggled his eyebrows. "What the hell?"

"My my, America, your ass is so firm… I may even prefer it to England's…"

America felt his temper rising. Normally he was carefree and enjoyed joking around. He found it funny when France tried to violate England. But this, this was…

So he punched the frog in the face.

"Sacre bleu! My nose!" Crimson blood trickled between France's fingers as he clutched his face. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes, and he squealed in pain. After a moment, as a tear rolled down his cheek, he thrust one arm round and grabbed America by the throat. As the Yank let out a strangled gasp, England decided it was time to intervene.

"Hey now, cut it out!" he called, clambering out of his chair. As he reached out towards them, France's assault caused the pair to stumble back, knocking the Brit into his teapot.

Hot tea pooled over the carpet, staining the floor brown. However, it had not just splashed onto the floor. It had also splashed onto someone else.

Canada cried out as the hot liquid hit his crotch. The three struggling countries all did a double-take as they finally noticed the nation's presence.

"Canada?"

"Maple…" the poor man whimpered as he keeled forwards, crashing into his brother. America yelped as the sudden weight smashed into him, knocking him off balance and sending him bowling into England. Eventually all three of them ended up in a heap on the floor.

England winced and rubbed his head as he regained consciousness. The sudden smack of his head on the floor had caused him to black out for a few seconds, and as he came to, he realised something wasn't quite right. He had been expecting America and/or Canada's weight on top of him, and yes, there was a weight on his body. But that weight was not where he expected it.

Craning his neck up, his eyes focused on the source of the unusual pressure. America was moaning as he recovered from the daze his fall had left him in. England's green eyes widened as he took in the sight. His cheeks burned like a forest fire as they were tinged with red. He stammered and tried to scuttle back and away, but the position of the others wouldn't allow it. At last he settled on yelling at the American.

"Get your bloody head off my crotch!"

ooo

Date- Wednesday 13th July 2011

Location- Rome, Italy

Weather- Same as last time. Why would it have changed much during one storytelling?

"Ve! So it all came true then! Now you mention it, big brother France isn't here either, even though he said he would be… How is he doing?"

"He's still recovering."

"Is his nose still bad?"

England chuckled, wiping away more beads of sweat. "Oh his nose healed ages ago. It's his pride he's still nursing. America's punch did more damage to his ego than his face."

Italy laughed. But then he realised that the Brit's story still hadn't quite answered his question. "But that still doesn't explain why America's not here…"

England's mouth formed an 'ah'. He shuffled on the stone he was sat upon. The blush returned very faintly to his cheeks. "Well, you see. He felt really bad for Canada, so he decided to stay at home and nurse him back to health. Although…" He shuffled again. "Personally, I think he's trying to avoid me…"

Italy stared at the man for a long moment. England smiled slightly at the sympathetic look he gave him. Finally, the auburn-haired man spoke.

"You'll patch it up, I know you will. When I look at the two of you, you seem really close. So I know you won't let a little incident like this get in the way of your friendship or whatever ship it is the two of you have."

The Englishman's eyes glittered. He smiled warmly. "Thank you, Italy."

"No problem. Hey, why don't we go and get some pasta?"