"Barney's Castle"
Chapter 4
The three friends, one dinosaur and a green fairy elf thing, continued to follow the path towards the castle.
"Look up ahead, I can see the castle," Tina announced excitedly.
Barney jerked his head up catching Twinkle in the back of the head and sending her sprawling into Goku. Goku caught the unfortunate elf, who promptly swooned.
"Can't you be a bit more careful, Barney? You nearly gave Twinkle concussion!" Goku growled.
Twinkle gazed up at him through glazed eyes.
"Make that brain damage," snickered Barney as he caught the look that Twinkle was giving his fellow Saiya-jin.
"Huh?" It wasn't the most intelligent of replies, but it was all that Goku could come up with at this point in time.
"Awww... isn't that sweet," Tina simpered. "Twinkle is falling for Goku...errr... Mike."
Derek pulled a face.
"I think his wife might have something to say about that," Barney sniggered from inside his suit.
Meanwhile, Twinkle was ignoring the comments passing between the others, her eyes were only for Goku. She sighed. He was so handsome with that unruly mop of hair and smoldering onyx eyes; not to mention the muscular arms that held her so gently. She gazed intently at him, unconsciously snuggling a little closer to him.
"He has a wife?" Tina asked, her eyes as wide as saucers.
"Yup." If Barney's fake grin could have gotten any bigger, it would have as he recalled how possessive Kakarott's petite missus was. "She wouldn't take to kindly to seeing him like this either."
"Why you..." Tina's hands went to her hips, her face annoyed. "Hey, Twinkle. You know he's married, don't you?"
"And he has a kid," Vegeta snickered from the bowels of the purple suit. Pay back really was good today.
"And he has a kid," Tina added.
"What!" It was Twinkle's turn to look shocked. She fixed Goku with a furious eye. "How dare you try to take advantage of me like this. You never said anything about being married or having a kid; and to think I was willing to let you get to know me a bit better. You should be ashamed of yourself for leading me on like this..." Twinkle began to rant, her voice increasing in speed and pitch as she warmed to her task. Barney, Tina, and Derek watched in silent amusement.
"All we need now is the popcorn," Derek whispered to Tina as he settled himself to watch the drama unfold.
"Huh?" Goku was really confused now. "I never said... OW!" Twinkle hit him upside of the head and Goku let go of her. She fell into a heap of green and glitter on the grass. "You didn't have to hit me!" Goku protested.
"You call yourself a gentleman... You should be strung up by the..."
"I think we get the picture, Twinkle," Tina interrupted. "Do you think we can move on now? The castle is only over the hill and my feet are killing me."
"I second that motion," Barney said. "This suit is getting more uncomfortable by the minute, not to mention that I need to go to the bathroom."
Goku sighed and agreed. "I think we should continue on our way."
The troupe once more set off in the direction of the castle, Twinkle gave Goku a disgusted look; Goku poked his tongue out, Twinkle pulled a face, Goku pulled a worse one, Twinkle gave him the finger, Goku scratched his head. "What does that mean?" he asked Vegeta and repeated the gesture.
Barney smacked him upside the head. "That's disgusting, Kakarott, I would have thought better from you, especially on a kids show."
Goku shook his head. What the hell did he do wrong now for goodness sake? Seemed like he was destined to be the fall guy in this show. He rubbed his head where Vegeta had clocked him. What he wouldn't give for a couple of Panadol right now.
They finally arrived at the castle and approached the huge doors. Tina's face fell and even Derek's took on a glum look. "The doors are shut," Tina exclaimed.
"Oh the powers of observation." Barney tried to roll his eyes.
"It say's here that the doors will open at three o'clock," Derek read off the small notice pinned to the wall. "What time is it now?" Derek asked, looking at the group. "I don't own a watch so I haven't a clue."
"I didn't bring my watch." Tina replied.
"Don't look at me, I never learnt how to tell the time." Goku held up his hands in defense.
"I don't know what time is," Twinkle supplied.
Four sets of eyes turned towards the purple peril. "What?"
"The time, Barney?" they asked in chorus.
"How should I know? I'm only a dinosaur and in case it had by-passed your tiny brains, dinosaurs can't tell the time. Technically they can't talk either, but that is beside the point here."
"Well, it is a known fact that most dinosaurs only have a brain that is the size of a walnut..." Derek gave Barney a pointed look.
"You saying I have a small mind, kid?" Vegeta growled dangerously.
"If the cap fits." Derek folded his arms across his chest, a smug look on his face.
"DUCK!" screamed Goku as he grabbed Tina, Twinkle, and Derek and threw them to the ground.
A searing light shot overhead, there was an almighty bang, and then the smell of smoke wafted through the air. "Want to repeat that, kid?"
The four on the floor struggled to see what had happened. Derek swallowed when he saw the giant hole where the door to the castle had stood. "Ummm... No."
"I guess that means it's three o'clock then," Goku said cheerily as he pulled Tina and Twinkle to their feet and dusted them off.
Barney blew the imaginary smoke from the tip of his fing... claw thing and shot Derek a 'look'.
"Let's go into the castle shall we?" Tina said a little shakily.
"Why not?" Goku agreed and took Tina's hand, walking through the still smoking ruins of the castle door, the rest of the group followed along, Derek keeping out of Vegeta's way.
They followed the maze of corridors searching for the throne room.
"You have any idea where we are?" Twinkle asked.
"Not sure," replied Derek.
"What is it we're looking for again?" Goku asked.
"The throne room was what you said before, idiot!" Barney huffed.
"We passed the toilet a couple of corridors back." said Tina helpfully.
The group stopped and turned to look at Tina.
"What?" she said, backing away a little.
"Not that throne room, imbecile, the one that the King resides in." Barney did his best to contort the fixed expression on the purple head to one of disbelief. "And they reckon that dinosaurs have tiny brains." Seeing Derek about to open his mouth and make a smart comment, he raised his claw a little.
Derek quickly shut his mouth.
"Shall we continue?" Twinkle laughed nervously.
"Might as well," Goku replied. "Let's try down this way."
"But we've already been down that way," whined Tina.
"How do you know?"
"We've passed that same lighting fixture four times now."
"Oh. Then which way do you suggest we try?"
"We could always follow that sign up there, the one that says to the throne room."
Goku smacked his forehead. "Sheesh, now why didn't I think of that?"
"Because unlike a dinosaur you don't even possess a brain the size of a pea?" Vegeta offered helpfully.
Goku wasn't sure whether he had been insulted or not. He opted to let it ride for the moment. "Come on then, let's go find the King." Giving Barney another pointed look, Goku turned and followed the signs.
Soon they came to another heavy door. This one had the words 'Throne Room' emblazoned over the front. "I guess this is it," said Goku cheerily.
"Kakarott, your intelligence astounds me," Barney said sarcastically and shook his large head.
"Why thanks, Vegeta." Goku grinned. "Shall we enter?"
"Better knock first," Tina advised.
"Remember your manners," Derek added.
"Righty ho," Goku chirped and raised his hand to knock.
*Bang... Crash... Thump...*
"Kakarott, they said knock, not pound."
"Ooops. Sorry." Goku rubbed his chin sheepishly and looked at the door which now lay flat on the ground, knocked clean off its hinges. "I guess I keep forgetting about my own strength."
Twinkle gave a sigh and shook her head. She tiptoed over the fallen door and entered the room. Tina and Derek followed with Goku and Barney right behind them.
"Hey, Kingy, you home?" sang out Goku.
It was Tina's turn to smack Goku upside of the head. "You don't address royalty like that!"
"Geeze," muttered Goku as he rubbed the back of his head yet again. "What is it with all the whacking? Is this belt up Goku day or something?"
"Hello, hello; are you there your Highness?" Twinkle sang out, ignoring the ruckus behind her.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here then?" The voice rang out from somewhere to their left. Moments later a body joined the voice. "Why, it's Barney!"
"Do I know you?" Vegeta muttered from inside the suit.
The king was a short, plump man with a jolly face. "Barney! How good to see you again my friend," the king said, ignoring Barney's earlier comment as he bounded forward and wrapped the purple dinosaur in a hug.
"Get off me you pervert!"
"But, Barney, it's me, you know, your friend, Old King Cole?"
"I don't care if you are Goldilocks and the three bears all rolled into one, no one touches the suit!" Barney growled. "Or me either…" he added as an afterthought.
Old King Cole backed off a little and gazed around at the motley crew that invaded his chambers. A beaming smile soon graced his face as he stared at one and then the other. "What brings you all here to my castle?"
Goku scratched his head. "I dunno. Can you remember why we came here, Barney?"
Barney whacked his hand... claw against his forehead, only it wasn't quite long enough and he ended up getting it stuck on his overly large snout. Tina and Derek helped him to pull it out leaving a dent in his nose as well as his pride, and the effect of a dinosaur smacking his head in frustration was totally ruined.
"We were playing with sand castles and things and Barney thought it would be a good opportunity for us to use our creative imagination and experience the real thing, so we stuck our heads together, combined mental images and here we are," Derek replied for them all, folding his arms across his chest and looking smug.
"Yeah, what he said," Goku deadpanned.
Tina nodded in affirmation, Twinkle gave a lopsided grin, and Barney just stood there, a soft muttering that sounded something like "Of all the kids to get stuck with I have to get Inspector Gadget and Penny."
"Well, that was very nice of you I must say, to want to come and visit me," Old King Cole replied, as his grin got broader.
'Any wider and his face will disappear.' thought Vegeta.
"I'm afraid though, that not anything much exciting happens here," the King said in a slightly despondent voice. He was prevented from speaking further as the sounds of whooping and hollering came from outside the castle walls. Quickly they all raced to the windows and stared outside in disbelief. Surrounding the castle and galloping madly around, screaming chants and war cries at the top of their lungs, firing arrows willy nilly were what appeared to be hundreds of wild Indians.
All heads retreated inside the safety of the castle and the group looked accusingly at Goku who held his hands up in defense. "It wasn't me... I swear it wasn't me."
Derek began to whistle. Barney turned to confront the young boy who took one look at the pointed finger and ridiculous look on the dinosaur's face and promptly stopped whistling. He swallowed hard and the sounds of the Indians ceased.
"Sorry about that…" Derek mumbled.
Old King Cole wiped his sweaty brow. "I think I need a holiday after that," he muttered.
"Would you like to take a holiday, Kingy?" Goku asked.
"I'd love to, but I can't leave the kingdom without anyone to run it."
"Problem solved, your Kingship," said Goku and he looked pointedly at Barney.
"Kakarott..."
tbc...