Have A Little Faith
Chapter Eight: The Alternative
Addison paced her study forward and back, forward and back. She moved so quickly she was almost invisible. Her expression was pained as she paced, thinking, thinking carefully.
She didn't want to fight.
She was with the Volturi.
She wanted peace.
The Volturi was trying to bring peace.
She didn't want to fight.
She had her duty to the Volturi.
She wanted to run away from all of this.
She couldn't abbandon the Volturi. She belonged to them. And...
Demetri.
Addison sighed, and stopped pacing as the familiar end to her internal argument fell upon her. She could not bring herself to leave Demetri behind when there was going to be a fight, she couldn't do it. She could barely stand to think of it. Was this love? She wasn't entirely certain, even after all this time.
Addison sighed, and sat down on the couch.
Demetri, Demetri, Demetri...
She felt more strongly about him then Adriano, that was true. If she had to choose between them, she'd choose Demetri every time even if her choice defied all reason or logic. She wanted to be here with him, despite her conflicted feelings about her masters. About her lifestyle.
Addison groaned as she thought of it, and she rested her head in her hands. Every time she fed here, it got worse. The feeling of remorse, the feeling that screamed at her that what she was doing was awful. Inhumane. Wrong. It was still unfamiliar, and she couldn't fathom the reason as to why that she was starting to feel remorse now. Seventeen years of being a vampire, of this diet, and her emotions ran wild with regret now.
Demetri had noticed this, of course. After they fed and wandered off to do other things, he could see it in her eyes. The pain within her. He could see, though not clearly, that it all troubled her. That a sort of... depression... was settling inside of her mind and heart.
"What's wrong, Addison?" He'd asked as they sat in her study.
"Nothing," she'd responded, the same response she'd used everytime he'd asked.
"There's something bothering you."
"...Perhaps," she'd allowed.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
But what would talking solve? How would that help her find peace within herself?
"No, not really," she'd said, closing her eyes as she rested against his shoulder.
"Tell me if you do."
And that was that.
Addison laid out on the couch, her hands over her eyes. She breathed deeply as she considered her options.
She could leave, but she'd be leaving Demetri. He'd been with the Volturi for centuries, and he'd known her for less then a year. Maybe he did love her, just maybe. But she couldn't rely on that. She was too uncertain about the strength of his bond to her, so she couldn't rely on him following her.
She could stay, and be quiet about her feelings. However, these feelings that brewed inside of her with a life of their own would not fade away, and she couldn't get them to stop. She didn't know enough about being a vampire to find an alternative lifestyle. Like... like...
Like the Cullens had.
Addison sat up suddenly as she thought of it. Maybe she, too, could stop drinking the blood of humans. Maybe she could find an alternative. Perhaps she'd be able to stay with the Volturi, at peace with herself and Demetri if she could survive without taking lives.
But how did they do it?
Addison's shoulders slumped, and she frowned as she concentrated. All she knew was that the Cullens didn't feed off of humans. But how did they survive without doing it? What was the alternative? Was there something that could stop her from drinking blood altogether?
She didn't know.
But she knew who did.
.oOo.
Demetri found himself with less free time on his hand then he had over his centuries with the Volturi and living here in Volterra. Now that Addison had arrived, there was a sort of pull within the core of his being in whatever direction she was standing at the moment. He was always turning up in her study or in the shelter of the forest to sit beside her while she sketched trees and flowers and animals and many other beautiful things Volterra had to offer its citizens and tourists alike. When he watched her sketch, completely absorbed in her work, he felt like there was so much he had missed in Volterra. There was so much that he had missed. Things that, even with a picture's allotted thousand words, they could not possibly suffice what he saw in Addison's artwork; her masterpieces. It was so mesmerizing, Addison's creations.
Addison herself was an incredible being. The little things about her that made him feel like all his centuries were worthless in comparison to the months he had spent around her, talking to her, laughing with her...
He looked up as a light knock sounded against his door. He sniffed the air, Addison's scent filling his nostrils as he did so. He rose and opened the door, grinning down at the beautiful immortal who was smiling up at him, too.
"Hope I'm not interrupting," Addison said, as Demetri gestured for her to enter.
"Anything I was doing before is unimportant," he said airily, sitting next to her on the small sofa. She sat comfortably, and cross-legged, facing Demetri. Though she was still smiling up at him, the look in her eye had changed. It was the look she got nearly everytime she wanted to ask something, but wasn't positive on how to proceed, or whether or not it was all right to ask. Demetri just watched her patiently until she opened her mouth and began.
"I know that what I'm going to ask is strange, but I'd really like to know the answer." She began carefully.
"Okay," Demetri said, waiting.
Addison bit her lower lip, and then she said, "You told me that the Cullens are different then most vampires, do you remember?"
Demetri blinked, surprised at this question.
"Yes..." He said slowly.
"You said that they have a... different diet-"
"An unpreferable one," Demetri cut in, wincing involuntarily at the thought of it.
Addison bit her lower lip, dettered for the moment.
Then, after a few moments silence, she began again with more hesitation then before. "What is it that they do, though? How do they live without drinking humans' blood and killing them? How is something like that possible?"
"Well..." He began, and then he paused for a few moments. "They found an alternative. We don't need human blood specifically, Addison. It's the best out of all the options we have for a diet, but it isn't completely necessary."
"But how? What is their alternative diet?" She asked him eagerly.
"Animals," He replied, his expression wary as he watched her carefully.
"Animals," She repeated. This was not the answer she had anticipated.
"There's much sacrifice involved, of course. Our natural food source is humans, you know. We are meant to feed off of them. However, there are... other choices. Animal blood will keep you going, sure, but it isn't pleasant. The taste doesn't hold a candle to that of a human's and it weakens the vampire who involves him- or herself in that life. Possible, but not the lifestyle I'd want, personally."
Addison was silent, thinking carefully as she formed a plan... a plan to end the suffering of her human victims and her own heartache...
A/N: Sorry this is all going slow. I'm drowning in homework these days, but hopefully the burden will ease up when I learn to manage my time better. Exhausting, it is. Anywho, thanks for reading. Please review!