" Barney's Castle"
Sept 2003 Debs-dragon
Chapter 6
"What have you got on the tea trolley, Baby Bop?" asked Goku. "We're all rather peckish."
The green dinosaur reluctantly turned back to the remainder of the group and sauntered back to the trolley. "Let's see," she said as she lifted the cloth from the top. "We have chocolate biscuits, sponge roll and a queen cake."
"Looks delicious," Derek said as he eyed off the treats.
"I'll second that," Tina added as she joined the young boy next to the trolley.
"Nice spread. I'll have..." Goku was interrupted.
"Children first," Baby Bop admonished.
"Awww..."
"Yeah, where's your manners?" Tina snickered.
Goku stuck his tongue out and reluctantly stepped back a little.
"What would you like?" Baby Bop asked the two children.
Soon Tina and Derek were happily sitting in the large chairs munching away on a plateful of cake and biscuits, each cradling a large glass of milk.
Goku hovered over the trolley, his mouth watering in anticipation. Twinkle elbowed him out of the way. "Ladies before gentlemen," she told him.
"But you're not a lady, you're an elf."
"I could argue that you aren't exactly a gentleman either, but I'm a female elf so that has to count."
Goku's brow furrowed as the gears in his head turned. He scratched his head and risked a glance at the green dinosaur. Her expression was unreadable, mainly because her face was hidden inside the overly large, silly looking head which had a permanently fixed expression on it and so didn't count. Rather than risk the wrath of the unknown he thought it best to quit while he was behind.
"Okay."
Twinkle took the offered plate of cake and biscuits. "I'll have a white tea without sugar thanks, Baby Bop."
The large green dino poured a cup of the amber liquid and added a dash of milk. "There you are," she said as she offered the cup.
"Thank you." Twinkle took her plate of goodies and tea and went to sit by Derek and Tina.
"Now is it my turn?" Goku asked with a sigh.
"No it is mine."
Goku spun around and hit his head on the large purple one that had snuck up behind him. "Ow! Do you have to keep sneaking up on me like that?"
What sounded suspiciously like a snigger came out of the purple one's mouth. "Royalty is next," Barney stated.
"That's right, go ahead and pull rank," Goku muttered as he rubbed his temple.
Baby Bop gave him a smack upside of the head. "Show some respect for your King," she growled.
Goku rolled his eyes. "Fine. Go ahead your royal purpleness, just make sure you leave some for the rest of us."
Baby Bop simpered as she filled a plate for the *king*. "What would you like to drink, sire?"
"I take it a beer is out of the question?"
The green dinosaur managed somehow to look shocked.
"Thought so. In that case I'll have a long Machiatto."
The green one blinked. "A what?"
"If you can't make one of those then I'll settle for a Mocha, double shot."
The dark green of the dinosaur paled to a lime color. Goku snickered.
Barney managed to roll his eyes, aided by his claw pushing the black dots around in the white casing. "What the heck do you have then?"
"Tea or coffee."
"Coffee then, black, strong, no sugar."
Baby Bop sighed in relief. Here was something she could make. Quickly she dispensed the drink and Barney took it, moving to the far side of the room where the royal throne sat. He went to sit down and then remembered the errant tail, instead he placed the plate of food and coffee cup onto the soft velvet of the seat.
Baby Bop looked at Goku. "I guess it's your turn," she grunted.
"About time," Goku mumbled and watched as the green one filled a plate and passed it to him. He scrutinized the offerings and raised an eyebrow in question.
"What's wrong?"
"Ummm... Do you think you can put a bit more on the plate?"
Baby Bop stared at the plate Goku held. "I think you have enough there," she replied.
"But I need my sustenance."
Becoming a little weary of the whole charade and longing to get out of the hot costume, Baby Bop reluctantly agreed and placed another slice of cake and a couple of biscuits onto the plate. "There you are."
"Thanks."
"Now, what would you like to drink?"
"I'll have a white coffee thanks, with six sugars."
"SIX SUGARS!" Three normal sets of eyes and two sets of false ones stared at him in disbelief.
"Errrr... Yes. Six sugars, but don't stir it as I don't like it too sweet."
Tina choked on a crumb, Derek thumped her on the back while Twinkle sprayed her tea everywhere. Barney snorted, only it sounded rather weird coming from inside the suit and Baby Bop fainted.
"Did I sat something wrong?" Goku asked as he looked around.
"No, Kakarott. I'd say you are just being your normal self," Barney sighed.
A short while later Baby Bop had been revived and Tina was once again breathing unaided. Twinkle had changed outfits and the crew had cleaned up the spilt tea.
Baby Bop sidled over to Barney and somehow managed to get herself wedged close to him. "So, why are you all here today? And where is the usual king?" she asked the group.
"Barney said he could teach us how to use our imagination so we could visit a real castle and see how kings live," Derek offered as he licked his fingers clean of the remnants of the chocolate.
"The king wanted to have a little vacation time and do some fishing so we offered to stay here and look after the castle for him while he was gone," Tina added.
"Well that is very nice of you all." Baby Bop replied. "I'm so glad you could come too, Barney." The green one turned to address Barney and froze. What the hell was he doing?
The room went quiet as everyone fixated on the purple dinosaur who was trying to work out the best way to eat the food and drink his coffee. He'd managed to stab a piece of cake with his claw, but now faced another problem. How to get it to his mouth. The large head only had a minimal gap in the mouth area and there was no way that the claw could reach quite high enough. Besides, even if it could he wouldn't have been able to fit it through the small gap that served as a mouth. Vegeta thought about the problem and his stomach rumbled, reminding him that it was still there and wanted to be fed.
Vegeta craned his neck inside the suit, there was a small gap where the suit joined onto the body, if he was smart enough he could probably manage to squeeze the claw with the food into the small space. It would then be a simple case of wriggling his other arm free from within the arm section of the suit and taking the food from the claw and transporting it to his mouth. Vegeta grinned to himself. 'I can do this,' he thought. Briefly, the memory of another time spent inside a ridiculous suit sprang to mind but he quickly dismissed it, this wasn't a banana head and the thing in his claw certainly wasn't an ice cream. He brought the claw to the gap and began to work the piece of cake through the small space, meanwhile his other arm began to pull itself through the length of the suit. He managed to wriggle his arm free just as the cake made its appearance through the small gap. His mouth began to water and he quickly snagged the morsel and shoved it in his mouth, savoring the taste.
Goku and the others watched in silence as the purple dinosaur seemed to claw at its neck for a moment and then wriggle and squirm. It reminded Goku of a certain banana doing a rendition of bad disco dancing on a beach some time ago. He snickered to himself. He continued to watch as the claw came away from the neck to stab at the plate and then return.
"What is he doing?" hissed Twinkle.
"I'm not all that sure," replied Goku. "I'd hazard a guess that he's either finding the suit a little constrictive or he's got ants in his pants."
"Oh."
Barney's claw left the neck region once more, but this time there was a smear of red around the edge of the throat.
Baby Bop stared at the redness and gave a shriek. "Barney's hurt! He's bleeding!" She jumped forwards to save her hero only to be stopped as said dinosaur whirled around and knocked her flying with his tail.
"What's going on? Why all the screaming?" Barney looked from one to the other before spying Baby Bop picking herself up from the floor.
"Stupid tails," she muttered as she staggered to her feet. She looked at Barney and remembered the reason for her panic. "Barney, you're hurt. Here let me make it better." The green dinosaur grabbed a hold of the purple one and raised her hand to his neck. "I'll kiss it for you and make it all better."
Vegeta stared in horror from within the suit.
Derek and Tina sniggered softly. "I think Baby Bop has got the hots for Barney," Derek whispered.
"I heard that." A small energy beam shot out from the suit and caught Derek in the rear.
"Aww, that's so sweet," Twinkle said as she gazed starry eyed at the two dinosaurs.
"I dread to think what color the offspring will be," Goku chuckled.
Meanwhile Barney was doing his best to disentangle himself from the green monster. "I strongly suggest that you release me, you overgrown reptile."
"But, Barney, I've missed you so much. You know you like me..."
"I don't know where you got that idea from, but it is totally false."
"Now, now, Don't be shy." Baby Bop rubbed her green suit against the purple one.
Inside the purple suit Vegeta's hair began to crackle and stand even more upright as the friction between the two suits caused static electricity to flow. When he began to get zapped by the small currents he decided enough was enough. "Get off me, Godzilla or you will find out once and for all why dinosaurs became extinct!"
Baby Bop sensed the threat in the tone and reluctantly backed off a bit. "You're just playing hard to get."
"I can assure you, I am not playing anything, least of all hard to get," growled Barney.
"You're just shy. You say that now, but when the cameras are switched off and no ones around I know exactly what you're like," Baby Bop whispered.
Inside the suit Vegeta had turned the same color purple as the character he was portraying. Fortunately any further discussion on the matter was prevented as the sounds of the king returning greeted their ears.
"Oh, damn! I'd better get going back to the royal kitchens and begin preparations for the royal dinner." Baby Bop stepped away from Barney and picked up the empty plates and cups, placing them on the trolley. "I'll see all you folk again sometime soon," she said as she began to wheel the trolley out of the room.
Barney heaved a sigh of relief. "I thought she would never leave me alone."
"She was only concerned about you, Barney." Goku walked up to his partner and stared at the red smear around the throat. He reached out a finger to swipe across it, Barney took a step back.
"What are you doing, Kakarott?"
Goku ran his finger through the red stuff and brought it to his face. He studied it for a moment, sniffed it and then took a lick.
"Eww... that's disgusting," Twinkle exclaimed.
"It's only strawberry jam," Goku replied. "It must have come off the sponge when you pushed it through the gap, Vegeta."
Vegeta scowled.
"Hello, Hello, Hello. Did you all manage okay while I was gone?" Old King Cole entered the throne room, his baggy waders wet and glistening, mud still clinging in places and the fishing hat perched on his head was lighter by about a dozen flies.
"We managed just fine, your kingship," Goku replied.
"We had a great time," Tina added.
"We had tea and cake," Twinkle tossed in.
"Barney's getting married to Baby Bop," Derek snickered.
"Well I caught the biggest trout in the royal... Barney's doing WHAT!"
~oOo~
To be concluded...