Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C or its characters; this storyline however does belong to me.
Chapter 2
"Hey Summer."
"Hi Cohen."
It was the first words the two had shared in over 3 months. They had seen each other once in that time, at a Brown event. Seth's girlfriend, Arielle, went to Brown and Summer and Seth had run into each other at a career fair. It was incredibly awkward for the both of them, not really for Arielle because she was totally oblivious to the whole situation, choosing to "mingle" with her Professors, (aka suck up to them so they'd favor her) and hadn't seen the obvious romantic tension between her boyfriend and Summer.
And now here Summer was, crying into her pillows because Seth had almost totally ignored her earlier at the convention. Sure he said hi to her, but his gaze didn't linger for even a second, the way it always used to, instead he was focused on Arielle.
God Summer really hated that girl. Not that she was mean or anything, actually she was the opposite. She was so overly nice to everyone, even Summer. No one could explain that; Summer was in love with her boyfriend, was openly mean to her, and criticized her every action and word, and yet Arielle treated Summer like a friend. Summer figured it was because Arielle wanted Seth to really like her, and that meant being nice to her. She really had no clue why Seth liked her and what he saw in her. Yeah, she read comic books and watched those dull, pointless Anime movies, but she was so, boring. She had no personality whatsoever, she wasn't outgoing, and she was disgustingly pleasant all the time.
Sometimes Summer wondered if Seth was with Arielle just so he would be distracted. Tonight could be proof of that. He didn't want to deal with his feelings so he pretended he was all in love with Arielle. Maybe it was to help him move on from Summer. He didn't want to be stuck wallowing over her so he got another girl to keep him from sinking into depression. Or maybe, it was to make Summer jealous and show her that was over her and their breakup wouldn't keep him from living life.
Deep down Summer knew that most of her reasoning's were false. Seth wouldn't use somebody like that. It just wasn't in him. And she knew he wouldn't make her jealous, not intentionally anyways. He knew it would hurt her, and Summer knew that Seth would never go out of his way to hurt her. But maybe he was with Arielle to distract him. He probably did like her in some way, but maybe it was in the friendship kind of way. After all, she was almost exactly like Anna, and he only loved her as a friend. Why would he love Arielle? She was Anna with brown hair, and slightly taller.
Summer let the flood gates open fully and tears spilled down her face rapidly and heavily. She gently pulled Princess Sparkle off of her night stand and held her closely to her chest and just let every emotion she had been feeling over the past two years out. The death of Marissa, the decline of her relationship with Seth, and the day he broke up with her, telling her it wasn't working anymore because she had changed so much.
"Summer?"
Summer looked up from her laptop and at the doorway of her dorm and a huge smile came to her face.
"Cohen!" She cried, jumping off of her bed where she was doing her homework and running over to him.
Seth gave a small smile as Summer ran over to him and threw herself into his arms. He held to him as tightly as he could, and buried his face into her shoulder. He could smell her shampoo. The same one she had used back in high school; pomegranate and kiwi.
"I love this smell." He whispered, and Summer laughed at his comment.
When he didn't respond she tried to pull away to see his face, because obviously something was wrong, but he just held her against him. So Summer put her arms around him tightly as well, and pressed the side of her face against his chest, taking in his Cohen-y scent that she loved, the scent of laundry detergent, soap, and cologne.
After a few minutes of just standing there, with Seth's hand gripping her shoulder blades with his strong hands, Summer's curiosity took over her and she wanted to find out why he came all the way to Rhode Island. It actually surprised her that he came, because their relationship had not been at its best the last few weeks. They had been arguing more than usual and didn't talk as much as they used to; and when they did, there were lots of awkward silences, a strange thing for them.
"Cohen," Summer started, pulling away from him, "Is there anything wrong?" She asked carefully.
"Kind of." Seth said, his voice filled with anxiety.
"What is it?"
"Summer," Seth sighed, "Maybe you should sit down.
Summer did as her boyfriend said, a million thoughts running through her mind.
Oh god I hope no one died! Did my dad get into an accident or something? No, they would have called me for sure. Maybe something happened to Sandy or Kirsten! Summer prayed that wasn't it. The Cohen's were her second parents and she loved them as much as she did her father. But Cohen wouldn't be acting so calm, he would have called her right away if they were hurt.
"Cohen, please tell me what's going on." Summer pleaded.
"Okay, so here's the thing," Seth said shakily, "Summer, you know I love you. I've loved you since I was ten years old, and every day at school I watched you, hoping that someday you'd love me too. Uh, I didn't mean for that to come out creepy and stalker-like, but maybe I was stalking you back then. I mean it'd explain a lot and-"
"Cohen," Summer interrupted loudly, "You're rambling. Please just get on with what you have to say."
"Yeah, it's just, really hard to say." He said.
He was stalling. And Summer knew that. Whatever he was going to say to her couldn't be good, or else he would have just got on with it like he normally does.
"Look I know we've been having problems," Summer told him, deciding to take charge and let him know what she was thinking so he could tell her what he really wanted to. "And since she uh, since she died, I've been acting differently, but you have to know that it's not you. It's so far from being because of you. I just need time to, adjust."
"That's exactly what I'm thinking, that you need some more time to just feel what you really need to feel. To come to terms with what happened; and I'm standing in the way of that."
He said the last part so quietly, Summer almost thought she had imagined what he said.
"Seth-" She tried to say that it wasn't like that, but he stopped her by putting his hand gently against her mouth.
"Summer, please just listen to me this time." He said, and Summer nodded so he took his hand away. "I'm not doing this because I don't love you anymore, because I do. It's just that what happened, changed us all so much, you especially. And I love the new Summer just as much as the old one, if not more, but you need to move on from it, move on from Newport; and you can't do that if you're with me."
Tears ran down Summer's cheeks, leaving a thin path of mascara behind them.
"You're breaking up with me?" She asked, not recognizing her voice as it came out in form of a whisper.
Seth looked down at the floor and then looked back up at her, tears rolling down his face as well, showing Summer how really hard this was for him.
"I'm really sorry Sum." He whispered, his voice gone.
It was breaking his heart to do this to her, but it was for the best. She'd always be stuck in the past if she was with him. She deserved to live life without thoughts of Newport and Marissa following her everywhere she went.
"Why are you doing this to me? To us?" Summer yelled, her rage finally overtaking her. She stood up from her bed and stood in front of Seth.
"I'm not doing this to hurt you, I think it's for the best." Seth said calmly.
"How? How is this for the best?" Summer cried, not trying to remain calm. How could she stay calm? The love of her love, her soulmate, the person she was supposed to share the rest of her life with, was breaking up with her!
"You have to move on. As much as you tell everyone, you're not over it! You're not even close to being over it! And I've tried to help and be there for you, but you're pushing me away!" Seth explained loudly. His calmness had evaporated and was now standing up, facing Summer, although a few steps away because he was afraid of her during a rage blackout.
"So this is how you're going to help me? By leaving me?" She screamed.
Summer was sure the entire state of Rhode Island could hear her screams at Seth. But she couldn't care less. And she hadn't even reached the peak of her rage blackout yet!
"Summer I am not leaving you!" Seth defended, "I'm doing this for you, so you can move on."
"Stop it! Just stop it! Stop telling me I need to move on and stop telling me it's for the best! Just stop!" Summer stormed angrily to her dorm door and opened it violently. "Get out." She said coldly, not even looking at him.
"Summer, I don't want to leave it like this." Seth pleaded.
"Just go." She told him desperately.
"I really do love you still, Summer." He told her quietly as he walked out the door and into the hall.
"You could of fooled me." She said, her voice had no emotion in it at all.
Seth tried to argue with her statement, but she slammed the door in his face. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, but it didn't stop the tears that streamed down his face.
On the other side of the door, Summer let her body lean against the door. She closed her eyes and just began sobbing. Her body became weak and her legs gave out, so she fell to the floor and put her head in her hands and just cried about everything that had happened only seconds before. In a matter of minutes, her world had come crashing down. She told the only man she ever loved to get the hell out, and he did.
She expected Seth to drop down on his knees and tell her he was an idiot and of course he didn't want to leave her. But he didn't. Instead, he had obeyed her, just like he always had, and left.
And just this once, she wished he wasn't wrapped around her finger. That he didn't follow her command. Because now, he was walking down that hallway, walking out of her life forever.
When
you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you
want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't
sleep
Stuck in reverse
When
the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something
you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to
waste
Could it be worse?
Lights
will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix
you
High
up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But
if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights
will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try and
fix you
Tears
stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot
replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears
stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my
mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights
will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And i will try to fix
you