In the bathroom, I cry my heart out. I can't believe he's forgotten about me so soon. I know what I did was bad, but how can he not feel anything? Trying to get over the absolute mortification I just felt, I splashed my face with cold water and decided I didn't like this new me. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I only changed for Sav but he doesn't like "tough Anya" either. I dab my face, refusing to let anyone else see me cry and made my way to Mr. Simpson's office.
"Well, Anya, I can tell you right now, I'm having trouble just looking at you." He said to me.
"Mr. Simpson…" I started to say.
"Don't speak. I am just so disappointed in what you've become. What happened? What happened to the sweet little girl-"
"That's exactly it! I'm not a sweet little girl anymore! I am a senior and I shouldn't be being treated like a freshman."
"Well, you're certainly acting very childish. Do you realize that what you did will be on the internet forever? Holly J's life could have been ruined from this little stunt you pulled. You could go to jail for this."
"What? She could always just take the picture down!"
"And what about the people that downloaded it onto their computers so they could print it? You should be extremely grateful she's not suing you because if I was her, I would."
"Well, what do you want me to do about it now? What's done is done."
"First, you're going to apologize in front of the school, and second, you'll fix everything with everyone you've caused problems with, including Holly J. and the freshman you and Bianca were seen pushing into a locker."
"No way, that's totally unfair! Holly J. should apologize to me! For all the crap she did, that evil black-hearted—"
"ANYA! If you don't cut out this sudden "bad-girl" attitude, you may be facing suspension, or maybe even—"
"At this point I don't care what I'm facing." I said in a calm voice.
I don't know what was going through my mind, but I just walked out of his office, leaving him dazed and reaching for a phone, possibly to call my mom. The way I saw it, screw it. The whole Sav relationship was just meant to open my eyes so I could do whatever I wanted. As I walked through the main office of the school, multiple people who had overheard my conversation with Simpson had a few comments.
"How could you speak to him like that? I would've wet myself with fear."
"Nice. He's been asking for that for the longest."
Some of these comments just boosted my attitude further. Since I was getting suspended, why not leave with a bang? I went back over to Bianca, who was crouched by her locker, taking books out for the next class. I stood there until she noticed me.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"As a matter of fact, yes." I replied.
"And how exactly could you need help from me? From the way you're walking around the school like you own it, I would never imagine you needed help from a wench like me."
"Look, can you just cut the sarcasm for a sec, here? If you didn't notice, I'm… I'm trying to ask for… for help." I managed to stumble the words from my mouth.
"Oh, so you want my help now? But didn't you just call me a terrible friend and storm off? What could I do for you now?"
"Listen, I'm on a schedule here. I'm trying to leave in a memorable way before I get suspended. Can you help me?"
"Let me see…hmmm… Memorable… Shouldn't be too hard. Just use your mouth the right way and I'm sure every guy here will remember you. If you catch my drift." She said with a teasing smile.
"What, you mean…blow the guys?"
"Unless you can find another way of using your mouth on guys to be memorable? No answer? Thought so."
"I'm trying to be memorable here, not a complete slut!"
"You're only a slut if you get pregnant."
I considered her idea until I decided I couldn't do it. I chose my own way. Everyone who decided to look at me funny, I completely attacked. I'm guessing word got back to Sav because a few minutes later he confronted me. He shoved me back against a wall and held me with his arm.
"What's your deal?" He practically yelled at me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked in an amused tone. Getting him upset was such a rush.
"Attacking everyone in your path? You beat down Alli! Remember her? My sister?"
"So? She'll get better." I had to stifle a laugh on that one. But somewhere deep down I was wondering about this monster I had become.
"'She'll get better?' Is that all you have to say?"
"Well what do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? Cause I did, like a million times, remember? That I regret what I did?" I yelled in his face, every emotion pouring out of me.
"Yeah, maybe that regret part would be nice, because it doesn't look like it from where I'm standing."
"Well I don't. Regret it, I mean. Because if this is what I have to do to catch your attention, then I will. And the best part? There's nothing you can do to stop me."
"Anya, what happened to you? You're definitely catching my attention, but not in a good way. If this is what you're turning into then I don't want you at all. All you are is an attention whore."
"Don't you ever call me a whore!" I started kicking at him, at which point he pressed his whole body against me to hold me down.
"Why are you doing all this? Why do you need my attention so badly?"
"Because I still love you, you idiot!"
It grew so silent as we both looked at each other and I noticed for the first time, that in his eyes, he was hurting too.
"What, and you think I don't?"
"Of course that's what I think! What did you expect me to think? Playing around with Holly J. by your locker? Ignoring all my calls? That's some serious love right there." I started to cry.
"I was talking to her about some ideas for a new dance. And I knew if I tried to talk to you, it would hurt, so I didn't."
"Why do you deserve to hurt? You broke up with me." I shouted at him.
"And that means I shouldn't care?"
I was silent as I contemplated what he said.
"Wait. You…you still care about me." Realization hit me like a bucket of ice cold water.
He didn't even need to answer with words as he pressed his lips against mine. For the first time in weeks, I felt right. I felt like everything was fixed, like when I got home, my mom wouldn't have cancer anymore, like I wasn't getting suspended. Nothing mattered but the two of us, in that moment. When our lips parted, I looked at his face, and every doubt between us was gone.