A/N: Guess what guys! If you eat M&M's and then drink strawberry soda right after it tastes like apricots! Amazing, no?
Please thank the amazing Underhandlilies for provoking the prompts and KittenFair for making me want to do a drabble series.
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Horrific First Meetings, The Final Fantasy FVII Way - Drabble Series, Page One
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Puke
Characters: Seph/Cloud
There was something to be said for eating in the cafeteria.
Don't. Fucking. Do it.
Cloud Strife stumbled into ShinRa's glass elevator, too concerned with his rolling stomach to be properly frightened by the moving death trap. Usually, he might have been bothered enough to huddle against the little circular numbers and squeeze his eyes tightly shut while repeating Zack's chocobo song in his head over and over. Today, however, he was more concerned with keeping his lunch from doing a repeat performance.
Once was bad enough.
He took a slow breath in through his nose and let it out through his mouth; counting each second. It helped somewhat and he was able to swallow safely.
The ride was smooth- smoother than it normally would have been- and Cloud was quite proud of himself for not spewing all over the floor yet.
"Damn you, Zack," he groaned. "Why did you want to meet me today?"
With a cheerful tone, the doors finally slid open and Cloud sighed in relief. Maybe if he got to Zack's office and sat down the urge to vomit would subside. He made his way down the hall, tossing May, the floor secretary, a rather green smile and trudged into the room his best friend occupied. "Zack, do you have any stom-" His sentence was cut off when he noticed his hyper active friend was no where in sight and looked up into green cat's eyes.
Or...maybe the urge to say a quick 'hello' to the so-called pasta would come back ten fold...
"Cloud Strife, I take it?" The cool baritone of General Sephiroth broke the silence and, had Cloud not been suffering the affects of ShinRa's gruel, he might have taken the time to appreciate it.
Oh shit.
Cloud clapped a hand over his mouth, saluting with the other, and willing his stomach to not do this right now- not in front of his crush and the most powerful man in ShinRa. This was not the first impression he'd wanted to make! He let out a pathetic whimper and felt his eyes prick.
Great, now, on top of everything else, he was going to cry.
"Strife? Are you alright?" The General asked, placing a hesitant hand of the younger man's shoulder.
He nodded weakly, mouth watering profusely, and immediately wished he hadn't. With a strangled warning, Cloud emptied the contents of his stomach.
All. Over. Sephiroth.
Cloud coughed, the bile burning the back of his throat even as it tightened when tears started to leak down his face. He just puked all over the General. The General. General Sephiroth.
The General who had a horrified look on his face and was staring down at the partially digested contests dripping down his front. "Strife...I do not believe I have ever intimidated anyone into vomiting on me..."
A weak, slightly hysterical giggle bubbled out before he could stop it as he glanced up at the man. "It's nice to meet you too, sir," he managed right before diving for the trashcan.
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Gum
Characters: Sephiroth/Zack
Zackary Fair loved to do many things; chase chocobos, make paper snowflakes, create masterpieces out of his mashed potatoes, do belly flops, and time how long it took him to run around the compound were just a few.
Blowing fucking huge bubbles with his gum was another.
It was with great emotion- more suited to the dramatics of that Red Commander guy- that he was really, really regretting that last one.
"Zackary Fair, is it?," General Sephiroth bit out, green eyes turning to glare directly at him. He felt himself gulp and tried to stop his knees from knocking together. "If there is gum in my hair...you have better. Fucking. Run!"
Zack needed no further instruction as he turned on his heel and took off down the hallway.
That was not the way he wanted to meet the silver haired SOLDIER. Angeal was going to kill him when he found out! Zack whimpered as he barreled down the halls, shouting out warnings and generally trying to dodge anyone that looked like they could kick his ass.
Which as a new Third Class was just about everyone.
Everyone up to and including the irate man that had just stepped into the hall in front of him. Maniacal glint in his bright, glowing eyes, a pair of sharp looking scissors in his hand. He skidded to a stop, barely managing to not slam into the Silver General.
"S-s-sir?"
"Third Class Fair. I've heard quite a lot about you."
"Really, sir?" Zack scratched the back of his head, eyes darting around for an escape route. "All good I bet."
A silver eyebrow arched at him. "My sources were obviously lying through their teeth." Sephiroth shifted the scissors in his hand. "That is neither hear nor there at the moment, however. Now, Zackary, I hope you aren't too attached to your tongue."
The high pitched shriek that echoed through the halls was enough to send most people running. Not Genesis Rhapsodos though; he had to trudge down the hall to see one of his best friends pinning down a flailing young man with spiky black hair.
"Seph? Why are you on top of Angeal's puppy?"
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Car
Characters: Angeal/Zack/Cloud
World: AU
"Oh. My. God! Angeal is he dead? Did I kill him 'Geal?" Zack's shouting was abruptly cut off by a callused hand clamping firmly over the source of all the noise.
"Pup. I doubt you killed him trying to back out of the driveway."
"Mmmfffllllmmm."
Angeal bit back the urge to roll his eyes as Zack's tongue swiped across his palm and dropped his hand, moving around to the end of the car where the head of blond spikes disappeared, ignoring Zack's whining next to him.
Sky blue eyes blinked up at him. "Ouch," the young man groaned. "If you wanted your paper earlier all you had to do was say so..."
"Paper?" Zack chirped, apparently forgetting that he'd just attempted to run over the young man only moments ago. If Angeal were any less concerned for the paperboy's well being he might have chuckled at his puppy's antics.
Maybe.
The blond raised a paper that was clutched in his hand. "Paperboy."
Zack's eyes widened comically and he turned to Angeal, gaping. "Angeal!" He squawked. "I just ran over a public employee! That's a crime isn't it?"
A warm hand came down on the top of black spikes. "Pup. It's a crime to run over anyone."
"Even Genesis?"
"Puppy!"
"Uh, excuse me..."
Two sets of eyes turned to the man still lying on the pavement. "Yes?"
He pointed to a tan strap around his shoulder. Angeal's eyes followed it up and under the car to a bag that- at one time; pre-Zack- had been packed full of rolled papers. Now, they were just flat.
With a sigh, he knelt down and helped the boy untangle the strap from his body and took the keys from Zack. "I'll move the car," he turned to the pup with a stern expression. "Stay with him."
"Right!"
While Angeal started the car, Zack beamed at the young man as he helped him to his feet. "I'm Zack!"
"Cloud," the paperboy mumbled warily, taking a step away from his attempted murderer.
The childish light dropped from Zack's eyes the minute the car pulled into the garage. He turned to Cloud with a pink tint to his cheeks. "Okay, seriously I ran you over on purpose."
A chocked sound came from the man next to him and Zack continued hurriedly. "Not like that! It's just, you're cute and I see you every morning and I wanted to ask you out but Angeal said I couldn't harass you or anything because you might not be into this kind of thing."
"..." Wide sky blue eyes blinked up at him. "So you ran me over with your damn car?"
"Well, yeah," Zack replied, as if that was the obvious solution.
After a long moment of hesitation, Cloud sighed. "Do your run all of your dates over?"
Zack grinned triumphantly. "Not with a car. I used a shopping cart on Angeal."
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The idea of Zack running Cloud over with a car to get a date is far too funny to me. Hope you enjoyed and I'd love some suggestions on what you guys want to see. There will probably be a few more pages.