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CHAPTER 10

James PoV

Daffy duck. For some reason he was my favorite cartoon character, he was fun, intelligent in his own way, knew that he looked good and his best friend was Bugs Bunny. No I wasn't thinking randomly about the duck, I was watching the new Looney Tunes and the episode kind of make me think a little about where I was going with Kendall…yeah most people didn't quite get into deep thoughts watching cartoons but this was an episode called Best Friends…and fuck it hit me. One time when we were kids we started arguing of which cartoon character could fit who we were, of course being the Looney Tunes the most awesome of them all we choose them to find ourselves…Carlos, being the destroyer he was became an instant Taz, Logan at that time was shorter and more awkward –he stuttered a lot- so, being the awesome and kind of mean friends we were, we named him Porky…that earned us a big Not Cool! Form the nerdy guy. Kendall being the fearless leader and all was Bugs bunny…and for me, it was obvious to say that I became Daffy duck…now you understand why this episode bugged me this much?

"Daffy, you're mean spirited, self absorbed disturbed little weirdo, but for whatever reason you're my best friend" said Bugs on the TV…once Kendall had said something like that to me, except changing mean for free, he had hugged me and ruffled my hair only to be yelled because of it…I fucking missed him, it was painful to think that every time I was bored, in trouble or just wanted to talk to someone he was still the first person that popped inside my mind, I wanted our lives to be les awkward again, why had I kissed him? Why couldn't I have thought of the consequences? It had been weeks sense we stopped talking like real friends, two damn seconds had been enough to throw our friendship to the dump…I had gained nothing from that kiss, he hated me, our friends were taking sides and my brain had suffered enough damage that I was constantly having wet dreams of him and every time he got close I became painfully aroused…damn even in the van that morning…I knew he was sleeping in my shoulder, but I couldn't bring myself to care, I wanted to have him close to me, besides he looked like he needed the sleep, even under the shades I could see his tired eyes…Carlos had to go around playing with his camera and ruin that moment…then I had found out that I had a boner and snap at him…when he apologized his voice was so low and broken that I couldn't say anything more. Then I decided to tell Logan that Kendall didn't look right, and as I expected the blond lied to him and walked away, it was Kendall's way to keep stuff to himself, he wasn't good at talking his problems with Carlos and Logan…that was where I came in, and being so worried I didn't care about anything and went to talk to him to the restrooms…hangover my ass…I knew his hangover face and that certainty wasn't the one…and then with that same voice he had apologized…Kendall Knight had apologized…part of me wanted to run to him and tell him that I had forgiven him, but other part of me wanted to ignore that apology, who did he think he was? Did he think that just with a simple sorry all the hurtful things he had said to me were forgotten? No way in hell.

"Just don't think about him…think of the concert and that you have to look hot tonight" I said out loud getting up from my bed and walking to the bathroom to get ready…and where the hell was Logan anyways?

Kendall PoV

He didn't remember…he had amnesia…HE DIDN'T FUCKING REMEMBER GETTING HIS FUCKIING DICK INSIDE OF ME THREE FUCKING TIMES! WHAT THE FUCK! Talk about hurting someone´s ego!

"Kendall? Kendall? Are you still in there?" asked Luca through the phone.

"What does he know?" I spoke trying to not let my hopes up because if he didn't remember, snapping at me like that was only because the last thing he remembered was us fighting…he didn't know I love him.

"That he woke up alone, naked in his room that smelled of sex…he freaked and he came running here"

"But you knew he had gone with me, why didn't you tell him?"

"Well…I thought you had sex with him and then left him, I didn't want him to suffer knowing that" I could see his point but at the same time I wanted to choke him to death…kill the best friend of the guy I love…or keep him alive so he can help me…clear option there.

"I really, really want to kill you right now, but as much pain in the ass you are…"

"Hopefully not the good kind of pain" he said in a mocking tone.

"I´m trying hard not to commit murder here!" I yelled "You three" I looked at Carlos and Logan too "Are going to help me make it up to James"

"But how? He doesn't remember anything, I have questioned him thousands of times" spoke Logan.

"And he still hates you" oh Carlitos I didn't want your crude honesty right now, thank you very much.

"You´re right" I mumbled feeling my hopes shattered once again "Maybe for his own good is best if we keep this between ourselves" I said not putting attention at the calls from Luca "Hey shut up!" I told the phone "If you tell James something about that night I will personally castrate you" with that I closed the phone only to face my open mouthed friends "We have a concert, let´s move!"

"But Kendall" began Carlos and I ignored him starting to change, Logan sighed and got out of the room "Fine, be like that" groaned the latino before he got into the bathroom.

When I was alone I let my knees give in and ended up sitting on the floor…what did that mean to me? Yeah he still hated me, he had showed it this very morning…but then, why did Luca become so eager to tell me? If he had lied to James in the first time, why the sudden change of plans? I was getting a headache from this.

"Think of the concert, later you´ll try to know what to do with James" I spoke then breathed hard…I had to decide if I told James the truth or not.

James PoV

I saw Logan get in mumbling angrily to himself as he gathered his stuff and locked himself into the bathroom…weird enough. I continued looking at myself at the mirror, everything perfect…it had been a while sense I made myself this presentable and it felt nice for a change.

"Logan we need to be there for sound check in an hour! Where the hell were you?" I asked the door when he was there enough time to get me worried about our schedule.

"Talking to freaking Kendall! I can´t believe him!"

"Did he yell at you again?" I frowned, maybe I was getting to the forgiving part too soon.

"Nope, he just made me mad but I guess everything´s cool now"

"He apologized you know…" I rested my back on the wall and crossed my arms "Should I forgive him?"

"It depends"

"On what?"

"Do you want to forgive him because you think he deserves it or just because you miss him?"

"Both?" I looked at the ground just as the door opened and Logan appeared wearing his boxers and a white tee.

"If you´re doubting maybe you should think more about it" He said while putting on his pants.

"Aren't you awkward with me while you dress?" I looked at him smiling because it kind of felt good that he hadn't lose that trust in me.

"Nope, because we see each other as brothers and I don't care…"

"Kendall cared" I mumbled looking at the floor "He said it was freaky and gross having me near him like that…"

"Oh I´m sure he freaked if one of you began undressing in the same room" was that sarcasm?

"What did he tell you to anger you so much?" I gave him a suspicious look, ever sense that morning chat with Luca, Logan had been acting a lot more open to Kendall…he knew something.

"Nothing, we have to go" said this he finished getting ready and ran out of the room…time to have a little chat with Carlos!

"I-I don't know w-what you´re talking about" stuttered Carlos once I cornered him in the lobby.

"What´s up with Kendall? What do you know?" he looked positively frighten…just a little more pushing and he would spill the whole truth.

"L-look the…mirror!" I didn't move my glare, mirrors didn't have that effect on me anymore.

"Carlos…"

"Quit terrorizing him James" I froze hearing Kendall´s voice at my side "Time to go guys" ok he was way chattier now…I had to know what was going on!

"Thank you Kendall!" screamed Carlos hugging the blond and then running to the limo that waited for us outside. I shook my head and followed him still not talking to Kendall…they were definitely hiding something from me.

The next two hours passed by fast enough, and before we knew it we were behind the stage of a doing some last minute vocals to warm out throats.

"Dogs, you know the drill, last song will be Shattered and make sure to introduce it properly" instructed Gustavo before they introduced us and we had to walk to the stage.

The first songs were easy, just dancing and getting the place filled with energy, it was packed and the fans were singing our very lyric…yeah what better than an awesome concert to get my mood up.

"Okay guys we have time for one last song!" said Logan getting a big whine from the crowd. I was about to introduce the song when Kendall beat me to it.

"This last song was written by no other than our own lyric genius James Diamond" the girls screamed so loud I had to smile "Make sure to listen to the lyrics" we all sat in our benches…of course Kendall was next to me, I tried really hard to not look at him as the song started, it would be too obvious…except that Kendall did stare at me as he sang every word, crashing my walls with my own words, it wasn't fair but I couldn't look away from his emerald eyes, I didn't care about the crying girls or that Gustavo was probably going to yell at us for ignoring the crowd…his eyes were just that hypnotizing.

"Yes his love will conquer all" He sang and I was sure his words meant a lot more with him looking at me like that, he finally looked back to the crowd waiting for me to say the last two lines.

"Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding…Fall into your sunlight" I sang softly completely shaken by those three and a half minutes…what was going on in my fucking life that I felt so confused? I didn't even put much attention to the screaming fans "We had an amazing time, thank you!" I waved at them before getting out of the stage.

Kendall PoV

The staff rapidly guided us to the limo, we got inside and the moment the car reached the exit of the parking lot…a while light illuminated everything followed by a faint growl from the sky. A shiver ran through my body leaving me cold like every time I heard a thunder, I tried not to show it so I looked through the window while I chewed my lip hoping that I could get inside the hotel soon, inside my bed and hug my pillow until that hell ended. The minute the limo stopped at the front door I jumped out of it and ran to my room not hearing the guys calling for me, normally after concerts we went to somewhere to have fun but the storm got worse by the minute and I couldn't stay there anymore. Feeling my heart pounding in my chest I walked inside the room, practically ran to close the curtains and got inside bed not even bothering to change my clothes. I closed my eyes, I was tired because of the concert why couldn't I just fall asleep? Another thunder made everything tremble just as the room´s door opened, I was glad I had chosen to give my back to the entrance, I just adjusted the covers so Carlos wouldn't see me that scared. I heard him move around the room being surprisingly silent, but I could only breath a little better when I heard him lay on his bed…now all I had to worry about was the storm.

"Fuck" I breathed putting my hands on my ears when a thunder worthy of a harry potter movie stroked my senses…my mind tried to race back to that day, in a storm just like this one my father had died…not much rain, but lots of rays and thunder…I took a deep breath noticing for the first time that my phone was buzzing silently in my nightstand, I moved to take it feeling my hear hammer against my chest when I saw that I had a text…from James.

How are you feeling?

I couldn't believe this, even with everything he was there like he had promised…if I wasn't so scared I would be beaming right now.

Like shit, why do you care?

Another fucking thunder…what was with electric storms in this place?

"Because even with all this shit, you´re still my best friend and I care about you" I froze hearing him speak from behind me, slowly I turned just to see James sitting in the empty bed looking intensely at me with his phone in his hands only illuminated by the bathroom light…he knew I hated being in the dark when a storm hit the place "I asked Carlos to switch places with me for tonight, I heard Kelly say that this was going to be a big storm" another big lightning appeared through the edges of the window and all the lights in the room were gone.

"You´ve got to be kidding me!" I cursed covering my face with my hands right before I felt the bed shift next to me, I opened a gap between my fingers seeing James sitting next to me.

"Why did you act like that?" I swallowed at his words, I knew that this would help me distract but it was damn hard to talk to him.

"Because…because I´m an asshole and I freaked out that my best friend really turned out to be a total stranger…then you started hanging with Luca and I guess…I got jealous" being in the dark helped me get this out big time, so I decided to keep talking "I´m sorry for using that fucking name against you, I´m sorry for not being supportive of you when you needed me…I didn't know what regret really was until I found out how much pain I had put you through"

"You know, today I was watching The Looney Tunes Show" he chuckled "It´s really fun to see Bugs and Daffy trying not to kill each other and at the same time being best friends"

"Daffy was always more about himself…I guess now he doesn't fit you" I spoke knowing that he was way better than the duck.

"Oh but I love him" his smile grew bigger, then he sighed going back to the solemn expression "Why the sudden apology?"

"It was way overdue…I just got the balls to…Fuck!" I screamed as a wave of thunders crashed and the next thing I knew was the James was hugging me, letting my face in the crook of his neck.

"It´s ok, don't let it get to you" he whispered, I was frozen and he probably thought I didn't like it that he as hugging me so he quickly let go of me leaving at least a foot of distance between us "Sorry"

"Why are you sorry? You were the one that said that it was hell to be near me, I can´t imagine how awful must be for you to be here" I was glad there were no lights, that way he couldn't see my teary eyes, scared and aching…not a pretty combination.

"I didn't mean that" he said softly "You haven´t been quite the best friend lately…I thought we were going to be fighting the whole trip"

"I don't want to fight you anymore…not like that at least" the lights came back and James gasped when he saw my face…just my luck "Don't look at me like that" I passed my hand though my face knowing that I was blushing.

"We´ve been through worst storms, you can do it" he smiled and I melted being the first real smile he gave me sense before I hit him.

"So…you had a crush on me" he stopped moving not lifting his eyes to meet mine.

"Are you gonna say how disgusted you´re about how I felt?" at this I wanted to hug him and tell him how wrong he was, that I felt a million things with him but nothing disgusting or gross.

"No…I´m sorry I acted like that" AIso I wanted to say that I didn't feel a pang in my chest when he spoke in past tense, but I couldn't do that…I was right, I couldn't tell him the truth, not now, not never "I missed this…I missed you"

James PoV

"Me too" I decided that after this night I couldn't go back to where we were so I finally made my decision "Friends?" I offered him my hand.

"How could you think of forgiving me with everything I´ve done to you?" he stared at my hand, I saw his eyes darkened in pain.

"Because that´s what friends do…we´re not going back to how we were, I´m not ready for that and I don't know how long will it take me to…but at least we can end this war" I shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, he smiled for the first time giving me a clear view of his dimples –god I missed that smile- as he shook my hand.

"Friends" we let out hands together as we heard more thunders, I noticed his shiver and all I wanted to do was to hug him but the last time I did it he got al tense and awkward…I think that was pushing it a little too much from my part.

"Do you want to talk some more or…?"

"I think we should sleep" he let go of my hand biting his lip "C-could you stay here? T-there´s enough room for both of us" I grimaced…like I was going to sleep next to the subject of my fantasies "Sorry, that was something stupid to say…let´s just sleep" he turned to give his back to me and I saw how he still trembled every time there was a thunder, I couldn't leave him like that.

"I´m staying here" I spoke softly moving to get under the covers and turning to the opposite side of him "Good night"

"Good night"

"I´m taking you home" he said taking my hand and walking me away from the club, I watched him as he got me inside the cab, he looked shaken and nervous when he told the driver my address…did I do that to him? I grinned watching his nice neck come to view as he turned his head to the window, for some reason I gave a fuck about my insecurities and problems, I just had one thing in mind.

"You know" I whispered to his ear purposely letting my lips faintly touch his skin smiling at the shiver my caresses triggered "All I can think about" I kissed his neck slowly "Is to fuck you senseless when we get there"

Sooo…who wants to kill me because this sucks? Who doesn't think this sucks? Reviews?

Take care!