SasuNaru / AU

This is an adoptive father x adoptive son relationship, meaning dadxson type of thing, don't like, don't read. For those who don't care and are looking for a fic with minimum spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes, please enjoy.

I don't own Naruto, Sasuke does— errr, I mean Masashi Kishimoto does.

D A D D Y P R O B L E M S

Chapter two

You tried your best and you failed miserably the lesson is 'never try'

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Something was suspicious in the Uchiha household.

It reeked of suspicion, and Sasuke wanted to get to the bottom of it. It had been a week and 2 days since the bloody accident, and not once had he caught any sign of weakness from his newly-adopted-son. And that was exactly the problem, there should be some type of weakness. According to Neji, the boy should have some nightmares, or have personality problems, or maybe won't be able to socialize with anyone for a certain amount of time. But nothing of the sorts has happened, it was the exact opposite.

Naruto came home every day and talked for 20 minutes exactly about his day, than spent the rest of the night studying for school. When he came down for dinner, depending on Sasuke's mood, the boy will talk, or he won't. It was all too perfect, it stunk of lies. So he decided to get to the bottom of it, again his son was entering the door, with his perfect set of canines showing, whilst he dropped his bag in the area Sasuke had told him too.

That was another thing, Naruto never disobeyed him. And the scene was starting to feel oddly familiar, and that's when it struck Sasuke like a being slapped across the face, Naruto was trying to be a perfect child, just how like Sasuke had tried for his father. Gritting his teeth, he leaned back into the kitchen chair, crossing his legs, his arms following the same manor. Naruto carefully walked in, calculating his attitude,

"Good evening dad" Naruto said stoically, as if he rehearsed.

"Naruto" Sasuke acknowledged, eying the boy carefully, before the lips of his son opened again, he spoke up, "why are you trying to act perfect?" Sasuke interjected, still eying the boy carefully, Naruto for a slight second gasped in slight shock, before quickly recovering and placing up his mask.

"What do you mean?" he answered robotically, smiling fakely.

"I spent years of my life trying to impress my father, I'm sure I can sense when my own son is trying to act perfect for me." He snapped back, tapping his finger in an annoyed manor, Naruto glared slightly at the raven before him, before crossing his arms and losing the act.

"Oh, so famous Sasuke Uchiha doesn't want a perfect son?"

Sasuke snorted loudly to this, "I don't care how you act," he interjected standing up and making his way towards the boy, poking the tanned forehead rather harshly. "your my son," he finished, walking past the boy and up to his bedroom, he needed to go blow some steam before he took it out of the boy in front of him. While Sasuke stormed upstairs, Naruto fumed downstairs.

How dare his bastard father not appreciate the extra hard effort he had been putting in for the man, for fucking sakes, he was even studying! No matter how much his brain threatened to melt and fall out of his ear, he studied, never fought at school, and made friends. He seems pretty damn perfect in his mind, but if his dad really wants him to be his normal self, than so fucking be it! Naruto snorted loudly, slamming open the cabinet doors, grabbing random packages of food before shoving them onto the little island in the middle of the room, and with all his might, began eating like the pig he is.

Lately he had been refraining from eating everything in the guys house, but considering the situation, he decided it would be okay to eat everything. Not that Sasuke ate much anyways, the bastard took like 4 bites and he was done for the day, Naruto had to cut back a shit load to please his almost perfect dad. Shoving random foods in his mouth, he heard the soft creaks of the stairs signalling his dad was coming, not bothering to even look up, he kept eating away.

"The fuck?" Sasuke muttered out, eying his son in disgust.

"You said I should be who I really am, and look dad-bastard, I'm being who I really am." Naruto resorted quickly, shoving a twinky in his mouth while another look of disgust followed the motioned, licking off his fingers in content, he looked up to the abyss orbs.

"Going to un-adopt me now?"

"No" Sasuke said after a moments silence, walking up to the counter and picking up the large amount of wrappers before throwing them in the trash can, crinkling his forehead, he sighed loudly, turning back around to eye his son in more disgust, "your covered in shit" he said honestly, eying the blond up and down, who snorted loudly to the comment.

"I hate showering, live with it."

Sasuke stared in slight disbelief, his son went from perfect to a complete rebel, maybe he shouldn't have spoken against the boys antics, they were starting to make complete sense to him. Frowning to the comment, Sasuke like all Uchiha's weighed the options , fuck that, he growled loudly, pouncing the boy, who squeaked loudly to the pressure, pinning the blond down underneath him, he gave the best glare he could muster and spat out the venomous words,

"Shower you damn pig"

"no fucking way!" Naruto resorted trashing under his father who was sighing in defeat, he was 26, with a 16 year old son who was fighting him to shower, Sasuke Uchiha never in his life ever imagined he would be in this type of situation.

'How do normal parents get their kids to do things they like?... bribery.' His lips curved upwards to the very tempting thought, "alright you disgusting pig, what do you want?"

"ramen" Naruto quickly chirped out, smirking towards his father, if he could get ramen for every shower he's suppose to take, he'll have a life time supply, Sasuke stared at the blond hair and blue eyed son in disbelief, Naruto wanted ramen. Fucking ramen. The father figure cringed at the disgusting choice of food, but reluctantly got off and brushed off imaginary dirt.

"You're an idiot" he concluded loudly, still staring at his son with an awed expression. Sasuke never thought in his 26 years of living he'd meet someone so... retarded. But then again, he did live with Itachi for a fair bit of time. Naruto snorted loudly, sending his dad a nasty look before charging upstairs to the bathroom.

"Glad to please you, bastard." Naruto muttered under his breath, when he was completely out of ear shot, slowly he made his way to the shower, stepping into the glass like coffin, he lathered his hair out, rinsed his body with soap, and deducted that clean enough, stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist, he made his way back downstairs. Sasuke cringed some more to the sight of his half naked son, he did not feel comfortable enough to be sharing body parts with the boy, yet.

"get dressed." Sasuke demanded,

"no" Naruto resorted, smirking. He didn't want to be a lean over a table type of son anymore, he was determined to make his 2 years with Sasuke, hell. "I want to go out naked."

"Suit yourself, your junk will be all over the news, not mine." Sasuke answered monotonely, snatching his keys and standing up, walking towards the door, pleased when he heard feet pitter pattering up the stairs, his son really was an idiot. Once Naruto had thrown on a pair of boxers and jeans along with a bright orange shirt, they went on their marry way. Sasuke had decided considering his son wanted ramen, and he didn't know a thing about the vile food, he let the blond choose.

They ended up at a little ramen cart, a kind old man and his daughter serving them, Sasuke sunk in his seat slightly when he saw how the two interacted, he felt a little put off. Considering his and Naruto's relationship wasn't anything of the sorts, the father and daughter in front of him smiled kindly to each other, and bickered sometimes over a few things, but still interacted quite good. Sasuke frowned some more, feeling more put off by the fact Sakura would probably be much better at this.

"Sooo, how's school?" Sasuke finally broke the 'ramen' chant coming from the boy beside him, the blond shot him an annoyed glance, but answered one-worded.

"fine" Naruto responded, sniffing the air in pure delight, Sasuke cringed more to the response, his confidence deflating. Damn taking care of a kid was hard. Trying again,

"Any friends?"

"yeah"

"..." Sasuke stared blankly, than looked to the smiling old man for some sort of support, who caught on the eye plea and answered it kindly.

"All kids are like that, don't worry." He cooed, and Naruto shot him a weird look before devouring the bowl that was set in front of him by the old man's daughter. Sasuke rearranged his face to a passive look.

"Do we give off the son-dad vibe?" he asked hopefully, the old man laughed cheerfully.

"Definitely," he answered, turning his back to Naruto and Sasuke and went to prepare another bowl for the hungry teenager.

"Don't get your—" sluuurp "hopes up, bastard."Naruto muttered out between slurps, finally finishing his bowl and pushing it aside, patiently waiting for the second one, which was quickly placed in front of him. Sasuke frowned some more, he had to note to stop frowning or else he would get wrinkles. With that thought in mind, he pushed the noodles with his chop sticks a bit before trying to strike another conversation.

"What's your friends names?"

"Kiba," Slurppp "Temari," slurp, "Ino."

Sasuke cringed more and more with each slurp, as if he was being hammered on the head, and he was sure he was. It was quite painful to listen to the horrid sound of eating, it wasn't in the least pleasant. He deducted he needed to teach Naruto manners and how to properly eat. Naruto finished his second bowl in record time, pushing it aside as the old man appeared with another bowl. Making the father cringe/frown some more.

Sasuke decided with the 3rd bowl almost finished, he would just drop conversation in total, he wasn't a talkative person in the first place, if Naruto was really interested in conversation, he would speak himself. And surprising enough, the tactic began to work, when Naruto finished his 5th bowl, he leaned back in his chair, and began to ramble about everything.

"So yeah, Kiba's like my best friend, and Temari and Ino are pretty fucking cool, they're both blonds, so people call us the blond trio, ha! Funny right? I hadn't met other blond people before, so I was shocked they even existe—"

Sasuke actually preferred when it was him trying to strike a conversation with one worded replies, he was starting to pity most parents across the globe, having to listen to your off-spring ramble was like trying to get a bird to stop squawking. Near impossible. Soon, after about an hour of Naruto's one-sided conversation, which concluded of 'Hn's' and 'Yeahs' every so often, Sasuke gave the old man the bill and made his way away from the stall, his son following behind.

"So dad, what did you think of the ramen?"

"Ok" he responded truthfully, he wasn't a ramen person, but that ramen was quite good. So in Sasuke's opinion, if it was ever needed, he would go there for ramen with Naruto another time, only as a bribery treat. Naruto fumed slightly at the reply,

"Only good? It's the best fucking ramen alive!" he answered with a loud screech, residents around them turned to look at the pair, but continued walking as if it was normal. Now that was odd. Most people would stare a bit more and give dirty looks, but these people smile and turned back to their own business, did Sasuke and Naruto really give off a father/son type of thing?

Clicking his tongue in slight disgust at the fact he might look like a 40 year old male to some people, he glanced towards his smiling-like-an-idiot son, who was currently blabbering about how fucking awesome ramen is, and how you can live off of ramen for the rest of your life — or something equally retarded.

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Naruto walked into the normal school, his ego inflating slightly with each bow he received from his fellow piers, finally dropping the whole 'ego' thing in total, he made his way into his classroom, going to his original seat, surprising enough, Kiba wasn't beside him yet, sending a worried glance to the empty seat, the azure eyes scanned the seat that was beside Kiba's, that was always empty.

Kiba had once told him the guy sitting there was just a lazy ass, and that's why he didn't come, it made sense, Naruto was slightly lazy too, but if he had ever went as far as skipping class, Sasuke would honestly chop off his head. No pun intended. Cringing at the idea, the door swung open for two brunette's to enter, eying the two, one ended up being his best friend, Kiba.

"Yo! Kiba!" Naruto chirped out, leaning back in his chair while prompting up his feet onto the desk in front of him. The second brunette gave the blond a disbelieving look before shrugging it off and sitting himself into the seat beside Kiba.

"Ohhh, your the lazy guy?" Naruto continued, Kiba let out a loud howling laughter,

"Troublesome" the lazy guy muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets, while eying the blond carefully. "You adopted or something?" Kiba's laughter stopped, and Naruto looked at the brunette with a disbelieving expression.

"Just that I know the Uchiha's on a personal level, and you're not anything like Sakura or Sasuke, plus their both only 26." He leaned onto his hand, staring at Naruto with lazy knowing eyes, "unless your Deidara's kid," he added in as if as an afterthought, Naruto had no idea who that man was, and didn't feel like finding out. Grunting loudly, he glared at the male, he had picked up a thing or two from his dad, and number one was, glare at the people who piss you off.

"Yeah I'm adopted, so?"

"Nothing" the brunette said, ignoring the glare, "tell Sasuke to drop by sometime," he finished, dropping his head onto his desk, and began to snore. Kiba shook his head and turned to his best friend,

"Sorry about that, that's Shikamaru Nara, a know it all." Kiba said, giving a nervous laughter.

"Shikamaru" Naruto repeated, snorting loudly, 'a know it all is right' he finished his thoughts when the teacher strutted in, ignoring the tension in the air. He began the lesson for the snot nose kids.

Class ended quickly, thank god, the teacher had spent most of the class talking about his sex life, with his boyfriend. Finding out your teacher is gay, isn't the most pleasant thing alive, considering Naruto was slightly bi... Okay, maybe he was more than bi. He was a complete homo, and he wasn't exactly 'proud' of it, he had sadly found out his sexuality when he had fucked his first girl, when he was 14, the key point was, he couldn't get excited, at all.

Kiba and Shikamaru stood up, eying the sighing blond beside them, but decided to wait till he snapped back into the real world, which Naruto quickly did and followed his friends out of the classroom, heading towards the caf, once they got to their table, sitting beside Ino, with Kiba on his other side, Temari and Shikamaru sitting beside each other on the opposite,

"You actually appeared" Temari said with a roll of her eyes, giving the pineapple looking male a disapproving glance.

"How you been, Shika?" Ino said happily, leaning on her hands while smiling kindkly. Totally different from how she usually acts, Naruto glanced towards the lazy rude brunette, before striking up his own conversation.

"You guys want to come to my house? I can ask my dad, he'll probably agree" Naruto chirped in, they all gave him a weird look,

"really? Sasuke Uchiha's house?" Ino added in, her tone sounding hopeful, Temari grunted loudly, leaning back in her seat.

"No way he'll agree" the 4 pig-tailed woman snorted out, Naruto puffed out his cheeks, glaring towards her before flipping open his cell phone to call his dad, he would make sure this could happen. It was the first time Naruto had decent friends, and he wanted to show them off too his dad. The ringing came as Naruto pressed the phone to his ear, waiting for the stern voice to come.

"What the fuck do you want?" A booming voice etched out, Naruto pulled the phone away from his ear, frowning. That fucking hurt.

"Fucking bastard! What was that for?" He shouted back, earning a loud 'hn' from the other line,

"I swear if your just wasting my time, and you're not dying, I will murder you myself." Sasuke muttered out, rubbing his temple, glaring at the cell phone, he was currently in a meeting, and because Naruto never called him before, he was rather worried, so decided to take the call. So his son better be dying, or need something urgent.

"God what got your panties in a not? I just wanted to ask if my friends could come over..."

"..."

"Dad?"

"..."

"Dadddyyyyy?" Naruto drawled out, receiving a snicker from the blond woman beside him, he shot her a glare, than glared at the phone. Than he dawned him, he really needed to stop acting like Sasuke Bastard.

"You..." Sasuke finally said, "interrupted my meeting to ask me such a pointless question?"

"Sooo," the blond had a hopeful tone, "I can?"

"NO, ABOLSUTELY NOT!" Sasuke screamed into his phone, before quickly hushing himself, there was a meeting going on right beside him. Naruto sighed loudly, before giving his friends a type of 'help me' look, Temari quickly snapped the phone from Naruto hand, determined to meet the guys father.

"Hey mister Uchiha, I'm Temari, one of the blond trio's,"

"I see, Temari-san, I have work to attend to," Sasuke's tone was completely changed, and it shocked the blond girl, but she was determined to win.

"Can we please hang out at your place? We won't make a mess, we swear!" She cooed into the phone, Naruto quickly snatched it back,

"Pleaseeeeee dad, I'll shower and brush my teeth willingly!"

"YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH?" Sasuke screeched into the phone, again.

"Dude.. That's nasty!" Kiba laughed out, wondering at the back of his mind why Naruto's teeth were all so white. It wasn't fair, Kiba had to brush his own teeth at least 6 times a day to get them shiny white, like Naruto's.

"Eehh, you didn't know?" Naruto finally said, still picking at his ears.

"Whatever, you win, call me again for a stupid reason and I'll make sure all your fucking junk is on the news, got it?" Naruto gave a small nod into the phone before hanging up, before it dawned on him Sasuke couldn't see him nodding.

"I knew I would win." He finished after the silence engulfed the teens, Shikamaru sighed loudly.

"troublesome."

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The teens were currently walking their asses towards the Uchiha mansion, thankfully, Sasuke would be working late tonight, from Naruto's knowledge, so if they did mess up the house, they had time to clean it. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked in front of the bunch, Kiba being the only once skipping beside him.

"What's your dad like?" the brunette asked curiously, wondering what kind of man the infamous Sasuke Uchiha was, on the phone with Temari he was calm and collected, with Naruto he was screeching like no tomorrow. But then, having a kid like Naruto must be stressful, the guy doesn't even brush his teeth on will! Shivering at the nasty thought, he looked towards the scrunched up face of the tanned boy.

"A total prick" Naruto responded, "but he's nice" he added in as a sort of afterthought, he glanced back at the chatting-like-no-tomorrow blond girls behind him, Shikamaru bitterly trailing behind the group. Eventually they stopped in front of the perfect mansion, Naruto paled slightly at the sight of his father's car parked in the drive way, it wouldn't be a good night, that was for sure.

As soon as the group of teenagers entered the door, a scowling father had his arms crossed, his fingers tapping against said arm, as he gazed at his blond son in a disapproving manor. Naruto gulped slightly, giving his dad a bit of a wave, motioning for his friends to enter, which they did, rather excited to meet someone as rich as Sasuke Uchiha.

"Naruto" Sasuke said in a venomous voice, "brush your teeth right now, or I swea—"

"yeah yeah, gottacha' wait for me here you guys!" he said in a happy voice, running across the room to run up the stairs to go find a type of tooth brush his father might have laying around, Ino, Temari, Kiba and Shikamaru all stood nervously in front of Naruto's father, not sure what to say, as soon as Naruto was out of view, Sasuke's face became lighter, till he looked towards the teens.

"sorry" he said monotonelessly, giving a small bow towards the 4 teens, who gapped at the sight. "he can be an idiot," Sasuke finished, adding it in as if it was some sort of thought.

"Now, go to his room, and don't you dare bother me." He finished, his face becoming stern again, as he pointed to the stairs behind him. "Go" he said again, and the four, even Shikamaru, rush up stairs, fearing for their welfare and their lives.

The rest of the night was filled with loud obnoxious teens laughing, while Sauske attempted to do his office work.